"Oh yeah! Well, your mom wears combat boots!"

"My mam? That's not right, sir," Ianto scowled, folding his arms where he lay beside Jack. "Your fashion is outdated."

"I happen to look quite amazing in what I wear, Ianto," Jack replied calmly. "Your hair's too short."

"Your left eyebrow is bushier than your right eyebrow."

Jack raised said eyebrow, smirking. "Your nose could be a ski jump."

"Ooh, painful, sir," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. "Your coffee causes stomach cramping."

"Your shoes need shining."

Ianto paused, mind flitting to the last time he shined his favorite black loafers. It was several days ago. They didn't need shining. Did they? "Your coat buttons need polishing."

"And whose fault is that, Ianto?" Jack teased, poking his arm. "Your insults are lame."

"Your face is lame!"

Jack's head snapped around. "My…face, Ianto?"

Ianto grumbled, rolling onto his side and away from Jack. Stupid game. "You heard me, sir."

"Yeah, I heard you," Jack replied, slipping an arm around his side and pulling him back tight against his chest. "Now…just what is it about my face that's lame, Ianto?"

"Forget it, Jack."

"We've already established I have a bushy eyebrow," Jack stated, his smirk loud enough that Ianto didn't need to see it. "So what else about my face?"

"It was just a retort. There's nothing the matter with your face."

"Terrible come back, Ianto," Jack snickered, nuzzling the nape of his neck. "What are you, five now?"

"Absolutely, sir," Ianto replied, not able to help the smile tugging at his lips. "But to be fair, you started it."

"That I did, Ianto," Jack said, pressing kisses to his bare shoulder and drawing his fingertips along his chest and stomach. "That I did."

Ianto sighed, letting Jack's touch relax him. It'd been a long day, filled with weevil sightings, endless Retcon, and far too much paperwork. They'd crawled into Jack's bunker at nearly one in the morning and yet, Jack being Jack, he was just too hyper to sleep. They'd killed over an hour flinging ridiculous and childish insults at each other and it felt good to just lay there.

"Mmm," Ianto purred when Jack's hand slipped to his back and began working out the knots that had formed during the day. "That's nice, sir."



"Roll on your stomach," Jack encouraged, pushing slightly at his shoulder.

Ianto obeyed and Jack climbed over him and settled his knees on either side of his legs. Jack's hands found his shoulders and began kneading, releasing the tension Ianto had been carrying all day and making him sigh.

"Oh, that's brilliant, sir," he muttered, his voice half-muffled by the pillow beneath his face.

Jack's hands moved along his spine, thumbs pressing into him in such a way that Ianto's eyes rolled into his skull. He had no idea where Jack had learned to give a massage, or who had taught him, but he would forever be in their debt. The man's hands were magic. And when they moved down over his lower back and further, he couldn't help but moan and push back into the touch.

"You have a lot of tension, Ianto," Jack told him, thumbs digging into his flesh before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ianto's back. A shiver ran down his spine when he felt Jack's erection pressing against his thigh. "Especially right here."

Ianto groaned, arching into Jack's hands and feeling himself harden against the bed. Jack shifted, and Ianto heard the snap of the bottle of lube they always left on the side table. He closed his eyes and bit his lip as the tip of Jack's finger slicked against his rim.


"So very tense, Ianto," Jack whispered, stroking him gently before pressing in, past the fluttering ring of muscle. "I think we need to release that tension."


"I'm glad you agree," replied Jack, moving his finger slowly in and out, using his other hand to gently massage Ianto's back.

"Always, sir," Ianto mumbled, pushing back against the stroking finger wantonly.

On the next push inward Jack added a second finger and Ianto's hips jerked against the bed involuntarily. The friction was delicious and he moaned, the fingers inside him thrusting faster now.

"I think your more relaxed now, Ianto," remarked Jack, before biting down on the spot where neck met shoulder. His fingers scissored, stretching Ianto's arse before he added a third slicked finger, thrusting hard.


"Please what, Ianto?"

"Please fuck me, sir?"

"Thought you'd never ask," answered Jack, removing his fingers and snapping open the lube once more to coat his cock liberally. Ianto started to rise up onto his hands and knees but Jack clucked his tongue. "Nuh uh, Ianto. Roll over. I want to see you."

Ianto did as he was told, breath catching when he saw the raw look of desire on Jack's face. They held each other's eyes for a few moments.

"Better, sir?" he asked, a smile crinkling his eyes to break the tension and causing Jack to smile in return.

"Much better," the man replied, guiding Ianto's legs around him before lining up his cock and sliding inside of him.

Ianto groaned, his eyes meeting Jack's again as the man moved slowly over him, pushing deeper with every stroke. Jack's hand cupped his face and his thumb brushed his cheekbone. It was intimate, gentle, and if Ianto didn't know better, he'd say there was more than just lust in Jack's eyes.

When Jack dropped his hand around Ianto's erection, however, all thoughts returned to the pleasure he was feeling. The slight burn inside him as Jack thrust against him, the slip slide of Jack's still-lubricated fingers over Ianto's leaking cock, and it was quickly bringing him to the edge.


"It's okay, Ianto," Jack replied, his hand closing tight around Ianto's cock and stroking with purpose. "Just let go."

"Not without you."

"My Ianto," Jack murmured, pausing for a moment between thrusts to lean over and press a kiss to Ianto's lips. "Always a gentleman." Jack smiled when the kiss ended, and Ianto smiled back, a little off kilter at Jack's words.

"All part of my charm, sir," he explained, moaning when Jack began to thrust again, hand pumping him toward completion. The fingers of one hand scraped through Jack's hair, and the other closed around the arm Jack was using to hold himself up.

He tried his best to hold back, but the sensations thrumming through him were much too intense. When his orgasm hit him he called out Jack's name, releasing a hot jet of come along his stomach and chest, coating Jack's fingers. His hips rose to meet Jack's, feeling the other man jerk against him.


Jack's movements faltered and Ianto felt the warmth of Jack's release deep inside him. After a few moments Jack pulled out and fell to the bed beside him, grasping Ianto's hand. They lay that way for what seemed like an eternity before Ianto broke the silence.



"Do you really think my shoes need shining?" Jack broke into laughter and Ianto frowned. "I'm serious!"

"Oh, Ianto," Jack groaned, wrapping an arm around him and tugging him closer. "When have your shoes ever needed shining?"

"I shine them all the time, actually," he replied, indignant.

"Exactly," Jack said, raising a brow. "Besides, you said my face was lame."

"Well, maybe it is," Ianto pointed out.

"Oh really?"


"Take it back."


"Take it back, Ianto."

"No, sir!"

"Then you leave me no choice!"

"Wait, what are you…"

Jack was suddenly all over him, hands everywhere, tickling him like crazy. He tried to squirm away but there was nowhere to go; unless, of course, he wanted to fall off the bed. Ianto was laughing and crying and begging for his life, all at the same time.

"Please! Jack! No…seriously…ACK! Stop! Oh God…"

"Say the words, Ianto!"

"I'm sorry, Jack! I take it back!"

Finally the torture had stopped and Ianto panted for breath. He chuckled alongside Jack, who was trembling with laughter. He turned his head to glance at the man and found Jack doing the same. They both stopped laughing and just breathed for a moment, looking into each other's eyes.

"I love this," Jack told him, grasping his hand again.

Ianto swallowed, letting Jack's fingers intertwine with his own. "Yeah..."

"Ianto, I…"

"I know, Jack," he interrupted, not sure he could bear the words. "Me too."

And if the look between them lingered a little longer than normal neither of them seemed to care. They just let it linger.