Hello all! This is just sort a plot-less mumble jumble what have you blah blah rambling thing….sorry. It's late right now. This just sort of wrote itself, pretty sure it's not of the highest caliber of writing.
He was used to the lust.
He was pretty sure all of the Titans boys were. To spend every waking moment of your life with two exceedingly attractive girls - they were living every male teenager's fantasy. They were gracious about it, never overstepping boundaries that they could have very easily (like exploiting the fact that there was a camera in both of the girl's rooms, and in their locker room) and acting adorably protective when either Raven or Starfire would receive the occasional sexually explicit piece of fanmail. But in the three years since Robin had known Starfire, he had become deeply aware of his attraction to her.
But this was new. This wasn't about her dazzling red hair, her mouth-watering curves, her vivacious green eyes -this was about the fact that he wanted to spend all of his time with her, whether she was in a swimsuit or in sweat pants. This wasn't about the fact that he thought she was unbelievably sexy in battle - this was about the fact that he loved her uncanny speech patterns, and how she saw the good in everything around her.
This strange sensation bubbling up from every pore of his being had nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with her, and Robin was sure he hadn't been more terrified in his life.
To be fair, he was really more caught off-guard by this epiphany than he should have been. For starters, the Titans had only been together for a year before he realized that he wasn't attracted to Raven in the slightest anymore. It wasn't because she wasn't pretty - like Starfire, Raven had only grown more beautiful since he had known her - but he just found himself entirely uninterested in her sexually. He could appreciate the fact that she was the physical embodiment of the phrase "dark beauty", but when Starfire paraded around joyously with no idea of how intensely she could turn him on with a single tilt of the head or biting of the lip, he knew he was a goner.
Then there was the fact that, around a year after that, he had become aware of how possessive he was - in battle and out - of the Tamaranian royal. He cared for every single one of the Titans as if they were his own flesh and blood, but there was something about hearing Starfire's shriek of his name for help that made him go ballistic. The frown that appeared of his own accord whenever a fanboy would ask for a kiss on the cheek from her at every press conference was pointed out to him with glee by Beast Boy and Cyborg, who had since taken to teasing him relentlessly about his supposed 'undying love' for the redhead. And even he had to admit to himself that when he thinks about the fact that one day Starfire will inevitably go back to Tamaran so she can marry some foreign prince, his blood runs cold.
And here it was, a year after that, that he was acknowledging that this was something different entirely than what he had ever felt with a girl before. During the short tryst he had with Barbara Gordon back in Gotham, he had remembered the exhilaration he had felt when she had miraculously said yes at his attempt to ask her out - him, the younger, inexperienced boy that he was sure a deliriously old sixteen-year-old like her would never want. But he knew that it was her age, her place within the Batman hierarchy, and her looks that he was infatuated with, not her personality, which to be honest was often sour and a little too sarcastic for his taste. Any other girls he had met in Gotham were strictly for publicity and make out purposes, as Robin had seen Bruce use women in the same way for so long. Robin wasn't even sure that love - not for sex or status, but just for the pure joy of loving someone else - had even really existed before he met Starfire.
Love? Was that what this was? This clairvoyant, resounding humming in his fingertips? How did anyone know?
Well...he didn't, actually. And for someone whose livelihood was being sure at all times, this was dangerous territory.
But he hypothesized. And he mused.
And he hoped.
And he decided to find out.
He was sure of that, at least.