Just a fun little drabble that came to me when I received and read "A Letter for Carver". I thought that the fact of Hawke not even mentioning the letter to Carver was awful, nonetheless that my witty, sarcastic Hawke wouldn't somehow capitalize on it given their almost legendary rivalry.

Usual disclaimers: I still have not gained the rights to the Dragon Age universe or the characters in it, though not from a lack of trying. The good people of Bioware still own them. I wouldn't share.


"Bah! You receive more letters than I do. There's another one on the desk for you." Gamlen grumbled something about the immense amount of letters Hawke received, and something about how these worthless freeloaders could at least receive some coin in their letters once in awhile.

Hawke opened the letter, and stopped reading at the first line. My Darling Carver… She turned toward her brother and almost handed him the letter, then decided she couldn't resist this temptation.

'My Darling Carver,

I miss you so much! When are you coming back to Fereldan? The Blight is over and the darkspawn are gone! There's nothing to be afraid of…not that you'd ever be afraid, bravest man I've ever known!'

Hawke snorted. What was this? A love letter, for Carver? This was just way too good.

'We're not going back to Lothering. I hear the land is poisoned or something. Father is raising money for a farm in the Bannorn. I don't know when that'll happen, but he's working very hard. We're living with my aunt in Denerim, so please send your letters there.'

As far as Hawke knew, Carver hadn't written any letters. Nor had he mentioned a girl to anyone in the family. Maybe he truly was a heartless wretch. Or this girl had greatly misjudged Carver's feelings. Hawke read on.

'Why haven't you been writing, Carver? Did you find another girl in the Free Marches? Remember, no girl will ever do what I did for you behind Barlin's shed that time. You just think about that!'

Hawke decided she would really rather not think about it. In fact, she felt a little green.

'Write me soon! I love you!

Peaches.'

Hawke snorted loudly, quickly muffling a laugh at the name. Peaches? Carved had really been with Peaches, of all the girls in Fereldan? Hawke remembered the girl, a ditzy little thing right around Carver's age. Kind of soft in the head, always flitting around the village behind her mother. And apparently, she'd left that for long enough to get with Carver.

"Carver?" Hawke called out across the shack, feigning innocence, "Who's Peaches" Carver spat out his drink, staring at Hawke.

"Wh-What?"

"Well, you received a letter from her. It reads, 'My Darling Carver.." Hawke laughed at her brother's horrified expression, her mother's confused one, and Gamlen's fiendishly delighted smile as he realized what was going on here.

"You…you read my letters!"

"Yes, my darling brother. I read your letter. Poor, dear Peaches. She says you haven't been writing her. Perhaps I ought to send her a letter for you, explaining that you do still love her, and that you will never forget what she did for you behind Barlin's shed…" Her mother's eyes widened at this, and she turned toward Carver.

"Carver! I cannot believe you! Taking advantage of that poor girl! And what did she do for you behind the shed? Carver Hawke, I did not raise a son who would behave that way…"

Hawke and Gamlen looked at each other and sniggered. Gamlen tossed her some cheese, able to see at last how they were related. Hawke gestured to the open letter on the desk and whispered, "At your leisure," before leaving the shack, poor Carver being berated by their mother and Gamlen voraciously reading a letter with dawning amusement.

"Love," she said to Anders, Isabela, and Varric as they looked curiously toward the house from which yelling still lingered. "Isn't it a glorious thing? Now, would anyone like some Qunari cheese? It's from Gamlen." Everyone groaned, not wanting to undergo that stomach ache the recived the last time they ate some qunari chhese from Gamlen. Hawke shrugged, then tossed the cheese off the dock when they passed by.