Title: When We Didn't Get Along
Summary: A collection of moments in time between an insane inventor and his semi-aquatic nemesis.
Pairing/Warnings: Perryshmirtz! Mostly friendship, but with hints at more because I couldn't resist. A few swear words and innuendos.

When We Didn't Get Along


He peered around the mailbox, pulling his hat over his eyes as he scrutinized the lanky man, with coco brown hair and a pristine lab coat. Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz looked more like a pharmacist than an evil genius. His general appearance made him seem ditzy and uncoordinated. Perry smirked to himself, and proceeded to follow him home. He'd be promoted in no time.


The same thing happened, without fail, every single day. He would build some crazy invention, Perry would destroy it, then Doofenshmirtz would be left to clean up whatever mess had been left behind. But today was different, and as he paced the floor, his latest machine untouched and his trap still intact, the doctor felt a pang of emptiness pierce his heart. Where was Perry?


Doofenshmirtz could act like he was a force to truly be reckoned with when he really wanted to, and sometimes Perry would even feel an odd rush of fear. But then Doofenshmirtz would somehow manage to set his own hair alight, and the moment would diminish right there.


The trap was easy enough to escape from, but the sheer sight of Doofenshmirtz expressing his latest scheme through a musical number was enough to keep Perry glued firmly to his chair. How many of the other agents had a nemesis who could choreograph like Heinz? None, that's how many.


Doofenshmirtz could not believe his eyes. He stared down at the platypus clinging to the leg of his trousers, his hat askew. He let out a small whimper, cowering away from the violent rumbles from overhead. Who knew that Perry was terrified of storms?


The clock ticked through the early hours of the morning and the sun began to rise over the city of Danville. Doofenshmirtz tossed and turned, groaning when the alarm sounded. The night had been a restless one, plagued by thoughts of eternal failure and that stupid secret agent.


Perry watched Doofenshmirtz pace back and forth as he spiralled off into yet another emotionally scarring tale from his past. His eyes fell to his watch and he wondered how long this crazy story would go on for. They seemed to get longer and even more insane every single day.


"Is that a new hat, Perry the Platypus? It's very slimming! It looks good on you!"


Perry saluted Major Monogram and headed for the exit, completely buzzed for another battle with his nemesis. Yes, his nemesis. And he hoped Peter the Panda knew that if he ever tried to take Doofenshmirtz away from him again, he's have a bust lip and a cracked nose to match his black eyes.


It still made his stomach squirm with guilt whenever he thought about what he did to Perry that day, even if it only was a scheme. Doofenshmirtz would never admit it out loud, but nobody could ever replace his semi-aquatic nemesis. Not even a panda from Seattle.