Title: When We Didn't Get Along
Summary: A collection of mini moments in time between an insane inventor and his semi-aquatic nemesis.
Pairings/Warnings: Perryshmirtz! Mostly friendship, but with hints at more because I couldn't resist. A few swear words and innuendos.
When We Didn't Get Along
Horror movies with Heinz were always an adventure. Perry adored watching him jump at the slightest flicker of the screen, scream whenever the tiniest of things happened. But what Perry loved the most was when Heinz would eventually beg him to stay the night, bribing him with all of the hot chocolate that he could possibly drink.
Heinz suggested it the first time. Perry the second time. After two years, it simply became normal that they would turn up to Halloween events dressed as each other, and it never failed to render Major Monogram completely speechless.
Perry thought it was a pretty good idea, getting Carl to hiss down the phone to Heinz, insisting that he only had a week left to live. However, when he found that Heinz had locked himself in a supply closet out of sheer fright, Perry decided that it wasn't such a good prank after all.
Perry was totally cool with holding hands when one of them was scared, but being used as a protective shield against a gigantic house spider was where he was forced to draw a line.
"I was only joking, Perry the Platypus!" Heinz looked sympathetic, crossing his legs underneath him. He eyed the lumpy duvet and hesitantly patted the bundle with a weak smile. "You can come out now. Do you really think that I'd live here if my apartment was built over an Indian burial ground? Come on! I was just trying to scare you!"
The word 'monster' meant, for most people, something unknown. It was green or purple, with countless eyes and tentacles. But for Heinz, it was a man. It stalked his nightmares, yelling the same words over and over again. Bewegen Sie nicht! Bewegen Sie nicht! Bewegen Sie nicht!
He could deal with the entire population of Danville becoming mindless zombies.
Hell, he could even deal with the entire world becoming mindless zombies. As long as-
"Not Perry the Platypus!"
Perry never thought he'd see the day that his nemesis actually made his palms sweat with fear, but something about the Doof zombies made him feel a little off balance. They were just so...unlike Heinz. And they were even more annoying than the original copy.
"Okay, Perry the Platypus. You ready? Bloody Mary..."
Bang, bang bang!
"IT'S MUFFIN TIME, SIR! ARE YOU IN THERE?"
"Norm you moron I... are you okay, Perry the Platypus? You're completely white!"
"Look, Perry the Platypus! I carved you!" Heinz held up his awful attempt at pumpkin art, and Perry forced himself to smile. "Maybe I should become a professional carver. But I guess the work would be pretty slim, barring October."
Note: Happy (late) Halloween! How about Night Of The Living Pharmacists? I think I have a new favourite episode!