Thank you to jigokunooujo, Catt from Hell, HeavenlyShadeOfBlue, HellOnTheEngine, and perfasian for the wonderful reviews and I apologize for not being able to update sooner despite all the encouragement your reviews give me. Boo, I suck. Plus this chapter isn't much, more like a filler-ish. Just Seika going all psycho. Hahah. Kidding. Oooooh, slight HomarexSeika in this chapter (if you squint, maybe?)
HeavenlyShadeOfBlue: Thank you very much, I didn't think of it that way... hmmm. So I'm guessing I should keep Miyaji that way? I rather enjoy writing in his POV, it just takes me more time. Maybe in future chapters. ^_^ Thank you for reviewing and for your fabulous insight; gives me hope that I can write more chapters in his POV (which I am excited to do.)
Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Starry Sky no matter what I do. D:
I don't have to leave anymore
What I have is right here
Spend my nights and days before
Searching the world for what's right here
Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
The birds continued on with their tune as the sun continued to make its ascend to the slowly decreasing blues and purples tainting the sky. And as the sun went higher and higher, the more light entered the room thus illuminating it's once dark walls. I watched this unfold with half-lidded and puffy eyes, purple orbs still not able to adjust to the brightening surroundings.
It was bright, yes, and the room was filled up with the sun's warm colors... But why do I feel so cold then? An icy numbness enveloped me, refusing to allow me to move a muscle. After a few more minutes, I willed my body to move. It was a Monday –if I'm correct– and surely there are classes today. I have to get ready.
The temperature seemed to have dropped drastically after taking a bath. Oh, I should've used the heater. No use dwelling in the past...
Cakes, swings, an observatory, the rooftop... Miyaji-kun. Thoughts of yesterday's events flooded my thoughts and felt a shiver run up my spine, but not because of the cold. Yesterday could've been perfect, really. If only I wasn't stupid enough to let my stupid impulses kick in. A kiss, his soft lips on mine... It was simply enchanting.
But no, no, no, no. NO.
I let my stupid impulse get in the way of our friendship. Risking friendship for a slight, tiny, minuscule hope for something impossible...
That what? That maybe he'd like you back? Fool. He barely even knows you. It's been what, a week? Now it's truly impossible, merely consequences of your actions. A voice rang in my head. I tried not to mind it but its words echoed again and again, taunting me.
Leaving the dorm, I dragged myself to class, trying so hard to hasten my pace.
He barely even knows you and you're hoping he's in love... With you? Pathetic.
W-What time is it exactly?
It's your fault anyways.
Why does my body feel so heavy and numb? Why, why, why?
You know who he likes, it's obvious isn't it?
Everything looked so blurry, like riding a high speed train, but that seemed impossible with my current pacing. I have to move faster. I don't want to be late for class but…
Stop denying and just accept the fact-
What exactly happened after I ran yesterday?
-That he's in love with Tsukiko, not you. Definitely not you.
I tried running, same as yesterday, running as fast as my weak legs can take me.
This is all you're good at, isn't it? Running away...
Please, please, please stop this. I already know all these. PLEASE, JUST STOP.
"Seika-chan?" a voice called out to me, slowing me down. Although I'm having a hard time pinpointing the direction where the voice came from. I hugged my sweater closer to myself, feeling cold again. A sigh of escaped my lips as relief washed over when the voice stopped.
"Seika?" I stopped, and only then did I realize that the one calling me was just right in front.
"Homare-kun?" I asked. It surprised me how raspy and alarmed my voice sounded.
Something cold suddenly touched my forehead and I stumbled back in surprise, wanting to get away from it. I was already cold as it is. However, strong yet cold hands gripped my shoulders preventing me from escaping.
"Seika-chan..." I stopped trying to escape from his grip and instead, welcomed his soothing voice, hoping it would replace the other. "Are you okay? You don't look so well."
"Hmmm..?" I looked at him, squinting at the bright sun behind that gave him a halo of light. This made me smile, maybe for the first time today.
"Seika... You're pale and your temperature's high. You're sick." my smile turned into a sad one. Half of what he said sounded like gibberish in my head... What was he talking about? Although I did hear the last part. Looking away, my smile turned into a sad one.
Yes, I know I'm sick. I'm sick, disgusting, repulsive, pathetic, and a fool. Please, please don't remind me as well Homare-kun... Please, not from you too.
"Yeah, I know..." the bright surroundings of blues and greens started to fade and the sweet melody of the birds quieted down only to be replaced with a darker backdrop and the loud downpour of...rain?
"Seika?!" Then everything turned black.
"We're going to have to move again."
"Again? The school year's just about to end in a month. Please, please at least let me finish this year on time." I pleaded. Yes, I may not have close friends in that school, but I tried my hardest in my studies and I couldn't let that go to waste. Moving was nothing new, but I couldn't help but want some stability in my life. And some real friends, maybe?
"I'm sorry, Seika, but we have to leave in a week's time. They need me there. I'll ask your school if they could give you an early exam or something."
'Like last time.' I thought bitterly. "Okay." Was the only thing I could mutter before going up to my room.
Guess what? We're moving again. I guess the sooner the better, right? Before I can make any close friends. So… Archery club, huh? Sounds cool. Maybe, I'll try it out too (That is, if my next school has an Archery club as well.) I've been practicing my shooting skills and my mentor says I have pretty good aim –not to brag or anything- but I bet you're better than me. Hahah. Anyway, I'll e-mail you again once we settle to wherever we're moving this time (god, I don't even know where.)
Goodnight! Miss you!
P.S. - I just realized (again) that… you're the only friend I keep in touch with… sad life, huh? Thank you… please don't ask why, I think you already know. P:
It's been months since we've settled in France. This place is just, fantastic! The apartment was cozy and homey enough, better than the previous one actually. My mom even had time to go around with me; that's a new. We've been to the Eiffel Tower and all the other tourist destinations; we've even started learning French. I've been adjusting well in school too. A part of me wishes that we wouldn't have to move anymore. Finally, a place I could call home? If only dad could be here too.
I was walking along the hallway, in a hurry to get to class when I bumped into someone. I hurriedly bent down to pick up the book that I dropped when someone beat me to it.
"You dropped this." Grabbing the book, I stole a glance to the person handing it to me. He was a bit tall and lean, with striking red hair and unusually red eyes. With such unique and unusually features –here in France especially– how did I not notice him before?
"Thanks and uh… Sorry for bumping into you." I managed to mumble.
"That's fine. I'm Henri Samuel Jean Aimée, by the way. Pleasure to meet you." He took my free hand, the one not holding my book, and shook it.
"I'm Elaine Lucinde." I replied, giving him my French name. "It's a pleasure to meet you too."
I started to walk to my class when he started to follow me. "I'm guessing you're new here?" he asked.
"Uhm, you could say that." He chuckled. "I mean, this is my first year here so I guess I'm relatively new."
"Guess I'll have to escort you to class?" He asked, "History, right?"
"Huh?" I asked, bewildered. "How did you know?"
"Your book." He grinned. It was once we reached our room did I find out that we had the class together.
Captain of the Archery club, I see. Congratulations! Oh darn it, I wish I could be there to see you practice or something; I bet you look cool. France has been treating me well, I even made a friend. His name's Henri. I just bumped into him then he offered to bring me to my next class when we apparently have the same class. Funny, really. We also have Biology, Algebra, and Literature together. Ooooh, I wish I'd never have to leave anymore. Too bad they don't have Archery here… Maybe I should take football? Anyway.
Seika (Or Elaine Lucinde if you prefer my French name. Haha.)
P.S. – I should give you a French name too… What about Lucien so it matches with mine? Or not. Hahaha.
Another few months passed by, and I can feel the friendship between Henri and I blossom. This was a first; a dream come true. We hung out together during our breaks and sometimes, he'd bring me to places in Paris that I've never been to. I started to become more open to him, telling him my secrets and all the other things that bothered me and he'd do the same. After some time, I found out he was half-Japanese. Coincidence much?
"I actually want to go back to Japan." He confessed once while we were having lunch near the field. The tall tree beside us providing a shade to keep away the sun.
"Same." I replied. "But somehow, I'm starting to like it here in France. A part of me wants to go back to Japan, where I spent my childhood. But a part of me wants to stay here in France. It's nice here…" 'Where I finally have friends…'
When I'm not with Henri, football's been keeping me busy. I've even made friends with my teammates. The school year ended without us having to move away, this made me very optimistic that maybe we can have a stable life here in Paris. Unfortunately for me, that wasn't the case.
"Seika. I'm sorry-"
"No, mom. I don't want to leave." I cried, so much for keeping my hopes up. "Can I at least stay here? I've actually made friends this time! What about my teammates? What about Henri? Do you want me to just leave them behind?"
"I can't let you stay here by yourself, you know that. You're still underage. You have to come with me."
"Mom, please." Tears were now freely flowing from my eyes. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave.
"I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do."
Never mind, don't call me Elaine… No offense but it's sorta awkward in Japanese. Haha. You know what, sometimes… I wish that we've never left Japan. This just told me we had to move again. Just when I was feeling so optimistic. UUGHHH. I don't know what to do or feel anymore. I hate this life. Hey, what if… what if I went back to Japan and study there instead? Do you think she'll approve? I mean we have relatives there so… but still… I'll miss the friends I have here… (Not that I don't miss you!) Anyway, I've been crying for hours and I feel tired… e-mail you next time.
I told my mom the plan and she hesitantly agreed after a lot of convincing; she told me I should come with her to England first though since we'll be visiting my dad, he's a researcher there as of the moment. Why not stay with him there? Because I know we'll move again if I study there. My parents are always busy with their jobs. I'd rather stay in Japan and live a stable life. I'll be going back to Japan and will be attending the same school as Homare. As excited as I am, I can't help but feel bad for leaving everyone I knew here.
"Hey Henri…" I invited Henri out to a café near our place just so I could tell him the news.
"What's up?" He asked, taking a seat in front of me, coffee in hand.
"I… I'm leaving."
"Again? But… you've only been here for a year." He said, staring down at his cup.
"I know." Sighing, I played with the stirrer. "I asked my mom if I could stay here… she said I can't since I'm still technically underage. So I'm planning to go to Japan instead, I have relatives there so she's allowing me to stay there instead."
"Japan, huh?" Taking a sip off his coffee, he said: "I'm gonna miss you, Elaine."
I could feel tears forming at the corners of my eyes, but I willed them not to fall. "Same."
"When are you leaving?"
"Two weeks from now." I replied, finishing the rest of my drink.
"Plenty of time to hang out." He smiled sadly.
"Yeah." I said, mirroring his smile.
He was the only I said goodbye to. I wasn't really good at saying goodbyes. Plus, I'd probably end up crying if I said it to everyone I knew here. I regret it, not saying goodbye to everyone… but what's done is done.
Thanks for trying to comfort me. And yes, thanks for inviting me to your school, but I'm waaaay ahead of you. Already told my mom to enroll me there. Haha! We'll finally meet each other face-to-face after how many years. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. She said I might have missed a few weeks or months but don't worry, I can handle it! Anyway, I'll e-mail you again when I have the exact date that I'll be arriving in Japan. See you soon!
P.S. – Suddenly, I'm scared. Don't leave me, okay? Promise?
Wide, purple eyes stared blankly at the oddly bright ceiling. Where exactly am I? I remember hearing the sound of rain before having that dream… no, it wasn't a dream. It was a memory –memories– of events not so long ago.
"Seika?" a concerned voice called to my right and I all but whirled my head to that direction. A wave of nausea hit me and I closed my eyes to stop the world from spinning.
"What's wrong?" Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Homare-kun looking concerned. A light pressure on my hand told me he was holding it.
"Just a little dizzy." I said, closing my eyes once again. This time, I felt water –tears– falling from them.
"But you're crying." I quickly wiped the tears away. "The walls and lights were just too bright for my eyes." I lied, chuckling a bit. The look on his face says he didn't buy my excuse.
"Where am I and what am I doing here?" I asked him, trying to change the subject.
"You don't remember?" I tried searching through my mind for anything that might remind me of what happened earlier, but the only things that came to mind were the flashbacks.
"You were on your way to class when I saw you; you looked really pale and were even struggling to walk so I walked up to you to ask if you were fine. Good thing too since you suddenly fainted." Suddenly, I could remember the events that happened yesterday and earlier in the morning. Homare had always been there for me, even when I'm an emotional wreck. 'Even through e-mails,' I thought.
I tangled my fingers with his hand that was on my own and gave him the biggest smile I could muster. "Thank you so much, Homare-kun. For everything." He kept his promise… he didn't leave me.
I could see a slight tinge of red in his cheeks and I couldn't help but suppress a slight giggle.
"I-I think it'd be best if I bring you back to your room now." He stuttered.
"Hm? Shouldn't we head to class?" I asked him.
"Class just ended, Sleeping Beauty." He laughed. "Besides, Hoshizuki-san said you better get some rest, your fever's pretty high."
Homare left once we reached my dorm room but not before handing me some medicine that Hoshizuki-san, the school nurse, wanted me to take. After chugging down the medicine, I laid back down on the bed, feeling the effects of the fever on my body. Everything looked fuzzy and my body felt heavy, not to mention that I still felt chilly. All I could do right now is to lie down and do nothing. I bet Homare's at the Archery Club training with everyone… Tsukiko, Kinose, the Baka Trio… Miyaji. It's only been a day –or two for some– and I already miss them dearly. Remembering Henri and all the other past events made me feel really lonely. Maybe I am, but can I change that? Can they change that? I'm not going away anymore right? Mom promised…
I am yours now
So now I don't ever have to leave
Song: Islands by The xx
About the flashbacks... I bet you didn't see that one coming. Hahaha. (or not...)
I'm sorry for just giving everyone this flashback especially after months of not updating. Ugh, sometimes... Don't worry though, I don't ever plan on abandoning this fic. I'm definitely gonna finish this. It's just that... Writer's block sucks. (Typical excuse, I know.)
I wasn't able to really edit this (I have really shitty grammar) so it may feel rushed or confusing, but once I find time, I'll try to edit some stuff. School is just... shitty. -_- I hope you're all faring better than me. *sigh*
Read and Review, please? I'd really appreciate it. C'mon... reviewing is way easier now (see that huge text box under this? Leave your messages there~)