We still weren't speaking to one another. Whenever he had the chance he left the room when I was there. Sometimes he just went out during the day. An option I didn't have.
It was Friday, more than a week had passed, since we had last spoken to each other, when he came into my room.
"Hermione, I'm fed up with this." I looked up from the book I was trying to read, but had found myself just staring at for the last few hours, "I understand that you are angry and blame me for what happened, but we've got to talk. Are you still in this relationship? Because even if you aren't that's alright, you just need to tell me!"
His question caught me of guard and I could only stare at him dumbly, before I whispered,
"I don't blame you for what happened."
"You don't?" Severus frowned, "Well, how come you haven't been talking to me for the last 10 days?!"
"I blame myself." I whispered hoarsely close to tears, "And I feel like I don't deserve being happy with you, I feel so guilty. I want to punish myself by taking away your love for me."
"You stupid girl!" He hissed coming closer, "Do you think it makes a difference? If The Dark Lord fell today and tomorrow you left to marry Ron Weasley I would still love you. If you say you're not in this relationship any more, because you think you do not deserve it then I will still love you!" Severus took my hands in his, "Hermione, there is nothing you could do that would ever make me stop loving you. You can't take away my love for you. It's not possible."
Tears streamed down my face now and he bent down to kiss them away.
"I love you so much." He whispered as he pulled me against him, "Please don't feel guilty for what happened, you saved us. It's all my fault I realised it was a strange looking spider and in stead of killing it I decided to keep it!" He rubbed my back soothingly, as I sobbed against his shoulder, "It was that death-eater at the door. He told me Aurelia had gone missing and the last place she had been seen was my house. I understood it immediately then."
"You killed the spider." I whispered.
"Yes." Severus spoke softly, "Without any second thoughts, because I knew I had to do it to protect you." He leaned his head on mine, burying his face in my hair, "I'm so sorry." His voice was muffled, "You've been through so much, ever since you've been here. I feel like I've failed you."
"You saved me." I looked up at him, wiping my tears away, "It's impossible that you could fail me, because you're the one who saved me in the first place. What I've been through is nothing compared to what I would be going through, if someone else had bought me. I love you and if Voldemort did fall today I wouldn't marry Ron tomorrow. I would leave England and I would take you with me."
He kissed me in a way he hadn't kissed me before. There was so much emotion in it, reaching from passion to desperation to love.
I was lying under him in my bed, his body pressing against mine, his hands running up and down. I didn't know where this longing was coming from, but I suddenly wanted to be very close to him and found myself unbuttoning his shirt. His hand slipped under my top and I cringed, suddenly remembering how Lucius Malfoy had sat on top of me like this, with his hand on my skin…
"I'm sorry!" Severus gasped, sitting up, "I shouldn't have gotten so ca-"
"No, I'm sorry." I sat up, "I wanted it, but then this memory just came back…"
"It's ok, I understand."
We sat next to each other, breathing heavily and with our shirts opened.
"I talked to Ginny."
He seemed confused, "I know…"
"I mean I talked to Ginny about us. She knows and she…I said I was scared of sex and she said there was other stuff we could do."
"Other stuff?" He repeated, "You mean…"
I blushed deeply, "Well I can't imagine that it feels good so Ginny suggested to start slowly by…doing other stuff."
There was a second of silence where I was so embarrassed I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me, but Severus merely nodded,
"Yeah that makes sense." He leaned in and kissed my cheek, "I would like to continue with the potions downstairs, do you care to join me?"
I nodded and got up. Glad we weren't talking about sex anymore.
"There's still something I wanted to tell you." Severus said, as we entered the cellar, "About Turner. I told the Order he died a few months ago and they believed me. He's been dead for a long time, but I didn't want the money. I only started using it, when…I bought you."
We worked in silence and Severus worked in a calm, slow way that made me feel as if everything was normal again.
"Hermione, Draco is planning on going into hiding with Ginny."
I almost dropped the knife I was using in shock,
"He wants to take her and leave, when his father goes away again. We will not be able to stay in contact with them anymore. I was wondering if I should tell you this, because it isn't sure yet, Draco told me last night."
"But where would he go?"
"He wouldn't tell." Severus began stirring the potion, "I think he might be in love with her."
"That's crazy! Draco and Ginny!" I rolled my eyes.
"Right, because Hermione Granger and Severus Snape makes so much sense."
I smiled, "Yeah, ok I guess that is a valid point. Did he tell you about Fleur and Bill?"
He nodded, "He plans on going to them, but I don't think that is a good idea."
"Why not? Then part of the Weasleys would be together!"
"Yes and if they get caught all four will be doomed."
I sighed, "You're right."
"That doesn't mean it can't end well though, they could go to them later, when Lucius calms down. As I know him he will not rest for a very long time, until he finds them."
I grinned, "You said something could end well."
"You said I could start believing in happy endings."
"So he would just leave his mother like that?"
"Not easily, but yes. He's understood that he can't help her, it probably won't make that much of a difference if he's there or not." Severus sighed, "He wants me to check up on her every now and then."
I didn't answer.
"He thinks I can drop by every week and check on her."
I continued cutting up some roots and didn't comment.
"I don't want to do that. The thought of being in Malfoy Manor and knowing you are at home by yourself disgusts me. If you don't want me to do it, then I will tell Draco no. He will have to understand."
I looked up, "I don't want you to do it. But maybe she could come to your house sometimes during the week. That would be ok with me."
"She won't. At least I don't think she will. It is worth a try; I could talk to Draco about it and see what he says."
We finished the polyjuice potion and then ate some dinner. That night I slept in his bed again and for the first time since that horrible incident with Aurelia I slept without nightmares.
"I can't believe this is really happening." I whispered lying next to Severus in the garden.
"I can't believe I actually feel jealous." He muttered.
What he said made sense to me. I was jealous of Draco and Ginny too. They were both going into hiding this week and we would see them for the last time this coming Saturday, three days from now. Dracos owl had arrived a while ago.
"We shouldn't be jealous. They will be in danger."
But they would be far away from Voldemort and Ginny would no longer be anybody's slave.
"Do you think Lucius will come to you then? Will he suspect anything?"
Severus shook his head, "No, he doesn't know anything about our meetings with Draco and Ginny."
"Where is he anyway? Why does he keep on leaving during the weekends?"
I had seen a lot of Ginny and Draco in the last two months, because Lucius was gone a lot.
Severus moved his head, so that his lips touched my temple, "I don't think you really want to know."
"He's not going away for Voldemort then?"
"He is having sex with prostitutes."
A silence hung between us before I said: "Yeah, you are right. I don't want to know."
A lot of things had happened between us in the last eight weeks as Ginny and Draco had been planning their escape.
At first Severus and I had spent a lot of time kissing each others bodies. Then we had stroked each other and six weeks ago we had sex for the first time. I was surprised it had happened. It had happened quicker than I had anticipated, but it had been great. And it kept on getting greater. He was so gentle and always made sure I was absolutely comfortable with what was going on. I trusted him completely.
"You know…" I began carefully, as I heard a smacking sound, "You do not have to kill every single bug in the garden. I don't think these flies are all animagi."
"You can never be careful enough." He killed another one with the book he was supposed to be reading.
"Do you know what I would love to do?"
"No." Severus leaned down to kiss me, "But I know what I would love to do."
"I want to go swimming." I sat up, gently pushing him away, "I haven't been swimming in such a long time and it's so hot!"
"If you take off you clothes you might cool down a bit."
I rolled my eyes, but then grew serious again,
"Am I a horrible person for feeling sad that they are leaving?"
"No." He stroked my face with his finger, "You're not horrible. It's only natural that you feel this way."
"She's the only friend I have apart from you."
"I know." Now Severus leaned down and gently brushed my temple with his lips, "I will try my best to be a good friend for you, I promise."
"You're everything for me." I stared up to his eyes and he kissed me deeply.
These past few weeks we had spent all of our time together. I hadn't come around to reading We'll Meet At Midnight in all this time, but I didn't mind. For a long time we had spent most of our days in bed, like a married couple during the honeymoon.
"Hermione?" He whispered now, "I…I've been thinking about something."
"Aurelias wand is still in the cellar."
Although it was a hot-summer day I shivered.
"I think you should start practice using it." He continued, "It would be good, if you could do some magic. It would make me feel safer, you know just in case something happens."
"Well." My voice was bitter, "I've already killed the last owner with it, so I guess that's already something, right?"
"I didn't mean to remind you, I'm sorry. But please think about it. If we already have this opportunity, I think we should use it."
"Isn't it dangerous?" I sat up, "If it's just lying around in the cellar like that?"
"It's not lying around in the cellar like that." Severus sounded amused, "I transfigured it into a potions-jar, I can show it to you, if you like."
"I don't know…is it really safe? What if the new ministry has a way of tracing us?"
"Of course it is safe, love, otherwise I wouldn't have suggested it, would I? Besides you're not underage and they have no other way of tracing you, because…well…" He sounded very uncomfortable, "As a muggle-born you haven't got the status of a citizen who has the right to be traced. Muggle-borns are too unimportant for the Ministry to deal with them." Severus eyes met mine, "I'm sorry. I love you."
I rolled my eyes, "I know you do. But that seems like a pretty big glitch in the system, doesn't it? I mean so many muggle-borns are being oppressed or are in hiding, wouldn't it be cleverer to check up on them?"
"Probably." He agreed with me, "But luckily the minister hasn't thought so far and I will know if he does, because I go to the death-eater meetings regularly."
I stood up and swayed, falling forward. Severus had jumped p to his feet and caught me,
"Are you aright?"
"Yeah." I leaned against him, "I think I just stood up too quickly."
"And you haven't been drinking enough."
"I'm not thirsty."
Severus sighed, "I can't believe you and I are still having this discussion. You generally do not drink enough, Hermione. Now come on, let's go inside and get you some water."
I rolled my eyes, but let him pull me into the house by my hand.
In the cellar he showed me a potions-jar with a blue dot at the bottom. It on top of the aquarium, where the dead spider still lay unmoving.
"You will need a wand to transfigure it obviously." He said as he tipped his wand against it, "But if I should die the spell will break automatically."
"Please don't say something like that."
"Hermione, we do not know what the future brings. If I die I want to know you are safe. Please respect that."
Sighing I took the wand in my hand.
"Alright, try to disarm me."
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn't and pointed the wand at him crying out,
"Try again." Severus came closer, "Concentrate on what you want to do, picture it in your mind."
Finally when I tried for the tenth time Severus wand flew from his hand.
"Well that was…"
"It was horrible Severus, you weren't even holding on to your wand properly."
"You just have to practice some more." He took it from my hand and transfigured it back into the potions jar, "Now lets go upstairs, I'm starving." He put his arm around me, "Don't worry Hermione, it's because of the wand that it didn't work so well. You don't feel so comfortable with it, you just need some time to get used to it and practice some more."
"And I'm sure if you drink some more fluids tomorrow that will help as well."
I smiled up at him.
After dinner I wanted to go to bed, but Severus shook his head, when he saw I was heading to the bedroom.
"Come outside. I want to show you something."
He was carrying a bag,
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see, come here." He put his arm around me, "Hold on tight."
We apparrated and then we were suddenly standing at a lake.
I gapsed, "Where are we?!"
"Somewhere in France."
"You said you wanted to go swimming…" Severus began opening his shirt, "So let's!"
I looked at his bag, "Any chance you packed swimming suits in there?"
"Nope." He continued to undress, as I looked around uneasily.
"No ones here." Severus said calmly, as he stood in front of me stark naked, "Now, get out of your clothes!"
I decided he was right and began to take of my shirt and jeans. He ran of into the lake and I followed, screeching as I padded into the cold water.
"It's cold!" I cried out. Severus had already dived under water and was stroking back his now wet hair. The moonlight shone of his pale, bare chest. He had never looked sexier to me.
"Just go under water completely it'll help!"
I did just that, holding my breath as the icy cold water wrapped itself around me and rushing back up shivering.
"It just made it worse!" I laughed, swimming closer.
"You have to move more, let's have a race!"
We swam side by side as fast as we could in the darkness. It did warm me up and I swam back to where I could stand. It gave me a better feeling. Severus followed me, putting his arms around me from behind.
"Thank you." I whispered, as I looked up at the stars twinkling upon us, "This is beautiful."
"I would do anything for you." He whispered back, before kissing my lips gently. I turned around to him wrapping my arms around his body.
Shortly after that we apparated back home and went to bed and I fell asleep in his arms, unknowing that it was going to be last time for a long time that we were going to be this happy together.
I love you guys, really I just wanted to say that. Please review and tell me what you think. Why is this their last happy moment? Any suggestions?