A/N: Well, I finally got around to it! A Mortal Instruments fanfiction! And right before the release of City of Fallen Angels tomorrow. (EEEEEEEP. :D) This started out as a competition between a friend to see who could pull this off the best.
Remember the scene from City of Glass? The one where Jace confronted Alec and asked him to kiss him? Yeah, this is my version of what would have happened. This scene is the day after that.
By the way, I love Magnus! So this is nothing against him. He's fabulous and mentioned in here quite a few times.
Let me know what you think!
Alec Lightwood had never been very lucky. That was, in the department of boys. He'd managed to fall in love with his cocky, golden-haired best friend. This was not how things were supposed to happen, especially since Alec was almost certain Jace couldn't be more straight. Alec, however, was as straight as the line an absolutely drunk person walked, which was much more like a stumble and not straight at all. The worst part of it was Jace knew how he felt. He called him out on it, just the other day.
Alec would never forget it. In fact, it was all he could think about. Part of him yearned to travel back to that moment when Jace was pestering him; the precise moment when Jace dared him to kiss him and Alec couldn't. Part of him wished he would have, that he would have shoved him up against the wall and pressed his lips to his harshly. He would have run his fingers through his hair and felt his body pressed up against his own when he had the chance. He would have the upper hand for once, catching Jace by surprise. But what had he done? He stood there in front of him with the dare hanging in the air and a signature smirk on Jace's face as always. He'd let Jace come out victorious once again. Why didn't he do it? Was he afraid of Jace's reaction? Afraid that he wouldn't want to stop? Had he been confused about what Jace wanted from him? All of the above.
The way Jace regarded him with a devious smirk upon his lips and an eyebrow slightly raised, suggested to Alec that he'd wanted to kiss him. Of course, it was probably for no reason other than it would boost his ego, although Alec liked to believe there was another reason.
The door creaked open and Isabelle lingered in the doorway. "Breakfast!" She announced.
Alec groaned and rolled out of his bed, going into the hallway when a door opened across the hall. Alec froze as Jace was standing across from him in just a pair of jeans. Of course he wasn't wearing a shirt. Why would Jace Wayland wear a shirt?
"Nice hair," Jace commented with a grin before padding down the hallway away from him.
Damn you Jace, Alec thought before following after him irritably. He'd spent all night tossing and turning. Of course his hair was disheveled.
Isabelle was already seated at the table, helping herself to eggs and bacon. Alec and Jace were silent when they sat down. She examined the two of the, how Alec avoided looking at Jace and how Jace was staring him down. Several minutes passed and she became increasingly confused. She slammed her fork down on the table suddenly. "Alright, what gives?" She demanded. "Neither of you have complained about my cooking yet and it's been well over five minutes!"
Alec shrugged. "It's not so bad," he mumbled.
"Alec, you haven't even touched your food yet," Isabelle snapped.
He shrugged his shoulders again in response. "I'm not very hungry."
Isabelle looked to Jace next. "No comments?" She asked.
"Your cooking is always horrible, Isabelle. I thought it was implied," Jace said with a mischievous grin, waving around a piece of bacon.
"You always complain about it thought. It's not normal for you not to," she said and then eyed Alec. "What'd you do to him Jace?"
Jace threw the piece of bacon at Isabelle, which hit her squarely in the face. He leaned back in his chair satisfied with his good aim. "What did I do?" He asked.
At this point, Alec had pushed his chair out and excused himself from the table.
"Well, you must have done something," Isabelle said as Alec disappeared down the hall. She crossed her arms and glared at him.
"All I did was try to have a conversation with him about Magnus Bane. There's something going on between them although Alec insists it's over. I was trying to help him, but he refused to kiss me," Jace explained as if it wasn't a big deal.
Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "Jace." She shook her head at him.
"He's my friend, Isabelle. I'm going to make him figure out his feelings if he won't for himself." He pushed out his chair, kicking it back onto the ground and left Isabelle by herself at the table.
Alec should have guessed that Jace would have followed him. He sat on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his midnight black hair. Jace didn't knock, but rather just threw open the door and shut it behind him, his green eyes settling on his best friend.
"Why don't we try this again?" He suggested, crossing the room to stop in front of Alec.
Alec finally met his gaze, his facial expression grave and his blue eyes timid. "I don't want to try this again. Whatever this is," Alec snapped.
"This is you figuring out what you want," Jace told him. "You're afraid of how you feel, aren't you?"
Alec averted his gaze once more. "You don't know how I feel, Jace."
"No, you don't know how you feel, while I have a pretty good idea," Jace shot back. "I know my abs are quite a sight to look at, but I know you. You're not in love with me."
Alec was staring at the wall, defiantly avoiding Jace's menacing eyes. "What do you want me to do?" He asked. The confusion was overwhelming, swirling around in his mind and making him dizzy. He'd taken a sudden interest in the glamorous warlock, Magnus Bane. That was no secret, but Magnus was hesitant. He hadn't been returning Alec's calls. When Alec asked why Magnus had given him nothing but the truth. His words seemed embedded in his mind. Even now he could recall them.
I didn't return your calls because I'm tired of watching you fall over somebody you can never be with, he had said. Jace. Did he love Jace? Or was it merely an infatuation? Did he lust for him? What were his feelings for Magnus?
"I want to ask you to do what I did yesterday," Jace said. It seemed he was unable to keep himself from smirking. Maybe his face was just naturally like that.
"Jace, this isn't a game," Alec warned, finally looking in his direction was an accusing stare.
But Jace had already stepped closer. He leaned towards him, climbing on the bed over Alec, who had already shied away, moving backwards on the bed.
"What are you doing?" Alec protested, but Jace didn't provide an answer to his question and Alec was sure he had a pretty good idea of what Jace was doing anyway. "By the angel, Jace!" He exclaimed at the impish golden boy falling over him. "We're not doing this. I-" His complaints were shushed by a finger being put to his lips.
"Oh I think we are," Jace interrupted. "And since you're not initiating it, I once again have to take control." He sighed as if it was a horribly difficult task for him to take on. "I always have to do everything, don't I?"
A flustered Alec tried to wriggle out from underneath him. "Jace-"
He couldn't get more than a word in before lips crushed against his own. Warm, inviting, eager lips. The lips of Jace Wayland.
Alec had imagined what such an experience would be like on numerous occasions. However, he'd never imagined it quite like this. He'd always pictured himself kissing Jace, not the other way around.
His eyes widened at the surprise of it, Jace's lips moving against his and provoking a response in him. "Nothing?" Jace questioned in a whisper against his lips. "I at least thought you would-" He didn't get to finish his sentence because Alec had finally decided to respond.
Alec reached up to touch his face, drawing him closer and kissing him hungrily. He swore he could feel Jace's grin as his hands tangled in his hair.
Jace wasn't hesitant and her certainly wasn't stopping either. Their mouths mashed together for minutes, ravenously. They barely came up for air.
Alec's hands had slipped from Jace's face and were roaming across his chest, tracing the runes on his skin. He was lost in his sea of mixed feelings, only knowing that he had wanted this for so long. Was Magnus wrong? Could he be with Jace? But they were Parabati, warriors who fought alongside each other. That was something even more powerful than being brothers. The Clave…Would they approve? His mind was racing ay too f ar ahead of the moment. What did this mean anyway? For them? For himself?
Alec felt strong, rough hands tugging at his shirt. "Jace," he managed to finally mumble incoherently, but that didn't stop the impulsive Shadow Hunter on top of him. "Jace," He tried again, sternly. His hands that had been exploring him seconds before were now shoving away the boy he'd yearned to hold for so long.
"What?" Jace asked innocently, his lips lingering over Alec's. Their ragged breathing patterns matched. His hands still remained on Alec's shirt with a tight grip.
"What is this?" Alec inquired breathlessly.
Jace almost laughed. "What do you mean? What do you think this is?" He had answered a question with questions of his own.
"I'm being serious," Alec said sullenly. "Why can't you be?"
Jace sighed. "Alec, this is an experiment. I told you that at the beginning." He spoke slowly as if to make him understand.
"An experiment for me, yes. I got that. It was supposed to help me figure out my feelings."
"Well, did you figure them out?" Jace asked curiously.
Alec nodded feebly.
"And how do you feel?"
He fell silent. Did he answer the question, or leave it hanging in the air? Either way it would be uncomfortable. How he felt was currently scaring the shit out of him. His feelings for Jace were real. It wasn't just lust. It was…
"I think I love you," he mumbled, barely audible.
That, perhaps, was the first time Jace had been caught off guard, or at least the only time he let it be known that he was. Had his jaw dropped to the floor? "No," he began in disbelief. "Alec, you only think you love me because it's safe. You want to be with Magnus. That's why I did this. That's how you're supposed to feel." He pulled away in shock, recoiling from the bed and a hurt Alec.
"So now I'm supposed to feel a certain way?" Alec finally sat up, redness rising to his cheeks. He was caught somewhere in between a state of embarrassment and anger. "I got that this was an experiment, Jace. But your hypothesis is wrong."
"No," Jace said again. "I am right. I'm sure of it."
"You can't know the outcome of an experiment before it happens," Alec remarked. "And if this was an experiment for me, why were you trying to take off my shirt? You saw how I was kissing you. How did you think I felt? Why were you pushing it further?" He was nearly trembling from all of the emotion building up inside of him.
"Maybe I was doing a little experiment of my own," Jace countered. "I wanted to see how it felt."
A thick blanket of silence followed, until Alec finally inhaled sharply. "How did it feel?" He dared to ask. He'd answered Jace and now he expected Jace to answer him.
His question lingered in the air. He finally got to his feet and stood in front of Jace, who hadn't you said anything. "I'd do it again," he said. "If you'd let me."
Alec's breath caught in his throat when Jace took a step forward. Their faces were centimeters apart once again. "But that doesn't answer my question," Alec murmured. Jace's face so close to his was distracting, enough to send him reeling. "How do you feel Jace?"
He answered with a kiss, closing the space between them and brushing his lips lightly against Alec's, as if to drive him mad.
The sound of a door opening tore them apart. Simon stood awkwardly in the doorway, stricken by what he had seen.
"What do you want, Daywalker?" Jace asked cruelly as if he hadn't just been kissing Alec moments before. He had turned to face Simon with an intimidating glare.
"I was wondering if Alec had seen Clary. I stopped by your room, but you weren't there. Now I understand why…" Simon said, fidgeting with his glasses. A few seconds of unbearable silence passed before he spoke again. "…What's going on?"
"I'm doing an experiment. It's titled 'How Irresistible is Jace Wayland?' It's well under way. Did you want to be a part of it?" Jace sent a conniving grin in Simon's direction.
Simon shook his head and turned away. Jace was trying to challenge him. He could recognize that. "If Clary hears about this…" He trailed off.
"She won't," Jace said. "Because you won't tell her. Anyway, it's harmless. Everybody wants to kiss me. I'm just handing out opportunities. Want to wait in line?"
"I don't want to kiss you Jace," Simon muttered, leaving the room in absolute confusion.
Alec hadn't said a word the entire time and when the door shut, he was still frozen. "Jace, what is this to you?" He demanded. He had to know. "What about Clary?"
"What about Magnus?"
Alec bit his lip. "Magnus was right about how I feel, but that doesn't mean you can play around with my emotions, Jace." He felt a stinging feeling when Magnus was mentioned. There was a pang of guilt. Was it possible that the warlock knew him better than he knew himself? He owed so much to Magnus.
"I want this, okay?" Jace said. "I want to be…us. Like this. Together."
"But…?" Alec was waiting for it. The words that would break his heart.
"I can't," Jace finished. "We can't. It's a distraction, Alec. And there's Clary and you have Magnus."
"Jace-" Alec started.
"We're Parabati, Alec. Brothers."
"So? You and Clary thought you were siblings," Alec argued.
"That's not what this is about," Jace said crossly. "Do you think the Clave would approve of us? If we were together, we'd never hear the end of it. It would hurt the people we love, Alec."
Alec nodded, thinking of Magnus. How could he do that to him? He had just become interested in him and regardless of his feelings for Jace; he truly was attracted to the warlock. And perhaps over time, that attraction would grow into something more. Something stronger and more powerful.
He knew that Jace was thinking of Clary in that moment.
He snapped out of his reverie when calloused fingers tipped his chin up. Suddenly he was looking into Jace's green eyes. "To love is to destroy," Jace recited.
And after a simple kiss, the last kiss they would ever share, Jace had left the room and Alec was left standing there with the undeniable feeling that Jace was right. They had made their choice.
"And to be the one loved is to be the one destroyed," he whispered to himself.