I own nothing.

Filled for the YJ Anon Meme.


It's not that Wally doesn't believe in magic. He just hates it. Why?

Because he's a squib.

Meet the Family



"Why are you here?"

A wide grin spread across Dick's face. "Well, let's just say there was a little accident at the Manor this morning and Alfred 'suggested' it might be a good idea if I stayed over at your house for the weekend."

Wally stared at his friend in stunned silence. Under normal circumstances, Wally would be thrilled to have his best friend over for the weekend. This weekend, however, was most definitely not the time of normal circumstances.

To put it plainly, his family was over.

By family, Wally did not mean Uncle Barry and Aunty Iris (but he thanked god they were here, otherwise Wally wasn't sure he would be able to survive his current predicament). No, no, this was his mother's side from England. They usually came to visit at least once a year during the summer, but… well… Don't get Wally wrong, he loved his family with all his heart. It was just that this side of the family is a bit… strange.

"Oh? Who's your muggle friend, Wally?"

Dick blinked. Seemingly out of nowhere, two boys with red hair appeared, both swinging an arm around Wally's shoulder. "Muggle?" Dick asked, eyebrow raising in curiosity.

"It's just some new slang they're using in England," Wally hastily covered up. "Don't mind my cousins, they're weird."

The twins had mocked looks of hurt on their faces. "Weird? Us?" they chimed together. "What lies have you been spreading?"

They both removed their arms from Wally's shoulder and pushed the younger speedster aside. "I'm Fred," the one on the right introduced.

"And I'm George," the one on the left continued.

Wally bopped the two of them on the head. "Don't listen to them. This one is George," he said pointing the one on the left. "And this one is Fred."

"Oh, Dick!" Mary had come out from the kitchen to see who was at the door.

Dick gave a small smile and a wave. "Hello Mrs. West," he greeted. "The Manor is temporarily unavailable and I was hoping I could stay over for the weekend. But it seems that you already have guests, so I'll take my leave."

"Nonsense!" Mary said. She pushed past the boys and pulled Dick into the house. "You're more than welcome to stay. There's plenty of room."

It didn't go unnoticed by Dick that Wally was making 'Abort!' signals to his mother.

"Wally?" Dick asked. "Did your house get bigger?"

"N-no. Why do you ask?" Wally questioned. He fidgeted a little, hoping that Dick wouldn't noticed the three extra bedrooms and expanded living room.

"Because there are three extra bedrooms and your living room is about two feet wider than usual."

Who was Wally kidding? This was the kid trained by Batman himself and Batman was not called the World's Greatest Detective for nothing. Of course Dick would notice.


Before Wally could say anything, he was saved by a woman with the same red hair as his who came bustling into the living room. "There you are, Wally! Arthur is looking for you. He wants you to explain to him how the felyphone works again."

"Telephone, Aunt Molly. Telephone," Wally corrected. Seeing Dick's confused expression, Wally quickly changed the subject. "Um, Aunt Molly, this is my friend Dick who will be staying over the weekend. Dick, this is my Aunt Molly."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," Dick greeted.

"Oh, aren't you a polite boy," Molly beamed. "If only I could instill those same manners into the rest of my kids." She sighed.

"The Sun will die out eons before that happens," Wally muttered.

"What was that young man?"

"Nothing, Aunt Molly! I'll go find Uncle Arthur right away. I think mom and Aunt Iris need some help in the kitchen." Living up to his name, Wally was gone in a flash.

"That boy," Molly said with a huff. "Always dashing off." She headed into the kitchen, leaving one very confused Dick alone in the living room.

"Well… this is going to be an interesting day," Dick said to himself.

So Dick had been here for three hours, eighteen minutes and forty seconds. Since his arrival shortly before afternoon, he had made several observations.

First off, Wally's extended family from England was here. Arthur Weasley was somehow related to Mary West through some extended bloodlines that dated back a couple generations. (Dick was rather impressed they managed to keep in contact with this branch of the family for so long). Arthur worked as a government official back in England and had some interesting ideas of modern day technology.

"So this Solarphone is like the Fellyphone?"

"Cellphone Uncle Arthur, Cellphone. The other one is called a Telephone and yes, the Cellphone works almost like a Telephone."

Very interesting ideas.

Next was Arthur's wife. Molly Weasley, a house mother of… seven children? (It could have been eight. Dick wasn't too sure about the bushy brown haired girl. Her hair wasn't red, although she could be a rare case of submissive genes, maybe.) As far as Dick could tell, Molly was a joyful woman with a strict tongue when it came to attempting to control her children. Dick had to give her props. While Bruce would never admit it, Dick knew Bruce did have trouble raising him. (This is why Alfred is God.) The idea of someone trying to raise seven (or eight) children was downright terrifying.

"Pumpkin Juice, Molly? What a strange flavor."

"You must try it one day, Iris, Mary. The next time I come to visit I'll bring both of you a bottle or two!"

The children were just as strange as their parents. Well, some of them. So far, aside from his… questionable taste in fashion, the eldest child, Bill seemed fairly normal. Dick hadn't gotten a chance to talk him yet as Bill had just arrived about twenty minutes ago with the second oldest son, Charlie. Wally mentioned that Bill worked somewhere in Egypt and Charlie in Romania. Dick made a mental note to talk to Charlie when he got the chance. Romania was always one of the few places Dick wanted to visit.

Percy, the third oldest, was a stick in the mud. In the three hours, twenty three minutes and twelve seconds Dick had been here, Percy hadn't moved one inch from his corner in the living room. Actually, that's a lie. He did move when he was offered cream custard. Dick took one as well, or he would have if Wally hadn't tackled him and dragged him out of the room. By the time Dick returned to the living room, Percy had gone on to screaming at his twin brothers, Fred and George. Strangely enough, he was covered in yellow feathers.


"Oh, lighten up, Perce!"

"You should have expected that by now, living with us this long."

The twins, Fred and George (or was it Forge and Gred?) were a pair of people Dick could see himself getting along with. It was easy to see that they were a pair of tricksters and Dick couldn't help but be endlessly amused by their antics. Wally warned him right away not to accept anything from the twins. This was of course before Charlie ate a piece of toffee and his tongue swelled up to nearly four feet. Watching Wally trying to explain this to him? Pure Gold.

"Um! IGNORE THAT! Charlie just has an allergic reaction! Nothing to worry about!" Wally said quickly, stepping in front of Dick to block his view of Charlie's tongue.

Dick raised an eyebrow. "To toffee?"

"Well, um, yes?" Wally lamely offered.

"Then shouldn't we take him to a hospital if it's that bad?"

"Nope! No need. It'll go away fast. Uncle Barry and Aunt Molly are looking over him already." Wally began pushing Dick out of the kitchen and into the dining room. Wally didn't get far before Arthur managed to corner him again.

"Wally, how does this telly thing work? Does it run on eckeltricity? How does the picture display?"

Wally was dragged off before he could even protest, which left Dick alone in the dining room with the four youngest members of the Weasley family. (Okay, clearly the black haired boy wasn't a Weasley and the jury is still out on the bushy brown haired girl).

"Hello," Dick greeted with a smile.

The four stopped in the middle of their card game (not before one of the cards exploded first) and looked up at him. "Oh!" the bushy brown hair girl said. "Hello! Who are you?"

"Richard Grayson," Dick introduced himself politely. "But please, call me Dick. I'm Wally's friend."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Hermione Granger –" (well that cleared things up) "This is Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter," Hermione said.

"Ah, so you're the last two Weasley siblings I haven't met yet," Dick mused, gesturing toward Ron and Ginny.

Ginny gave him a wry smile. "You've met the rest of the family, then?"

"Yup. You guys are an interesting bunch."

Dick watched with interest as the four seemed to share nervous looks. "Uh, so it seems my dad is eating up all of Wally's free time," Ron started. "Sorry about that. I'm sure you came over just to hang out with Wally. Dad's just… um…"

"Not used to all the new different models of technology that America has," Hermione smoothly covered.

Naturally, one of Dick's eyebrows rose. "Nah, I'm staying the weekend so there's plenty of time. Mrs. West told me you guys only come to visit once a year, so I don't mind." He was about to start asking them the questions that had built up in his head (and clearly Wally wasn't going to tell him anything) when Wally came running back into the room.

"Dick!" Wally threw himself into Dick's arms. "Help! I can't explain to Uncle Arthur how the computer works. You're good at it! You explain it to him!"

Dick blinked. "Wally, I can ignore the fact that your Uncle doesn't know how a TV or cellphone works because not everyone is required to have them. But please explain to me how he doesn't know how a computer and telephone works, given his job."

Dick watched as Wally paled a few shades. At the table, the four kids shared another nervous look. "Um, well yeah, don't worry about that. Just help me explain it please? Uncle Barry has him distracted at the moment explaining the chemical properties of table salt but he's not gonna forget!" Wally begged.

Wally didn't give Dick a chance to protest and was already dragging him out of the room. As they were leaving, Dick heard Ron say, "Hold up, if Dick is staying the weekend, he would most probably be in Wally's room. Where are Harry and I going to sleep? I mean, we're not all gonna fit in there. Maybe we should get Bill to make another room."

Dick smirked as he heard a yelp, no doubt from Hermione stomping on Ron's foot. Smart girl, but too late. That's another clue he added to the pile.

Dinner was… interesting.

No, actually interesting couldn't even begin to cover it.

It all started with a floating dish. No, really, Dick was quite sure it was floating, despite Barry's attempt to "suddenly" be holding it while standing on top of the table. Or Wally's attempts to explain that it's a new "wire system" that his mother was trying out.

It snowballed from there.

Dick was quite sure the dining room had expanded because there was no way the original room could hold seventeen people. He hadn't had a chance to measure it yet, but he was quite sure it had increased by at least four feet on all sides. Nevermind the fact that the dining table was now two feet wider and three feet longer than what he remembered.

Dick was also going to do everything in his power to make sure that Wally would suffer for his current seating placement. Somehow, Dick ended up between Hermione and Percy. Percy started going on about some sort of Politics in England (and Dick hated politics with a passion) and Hermione somehow found out that Richard Grayson was Bruce Wayne's ward and wouldn't stop asking him questions.

In short, this was as bad as one of Bruce's parties and Wally was going to pay for making Dick suffer through this when it could be avoided by a simple change of seats.

Then Ron had an "allergic reaction" to something in the food which caused his tongue to swell up like Charlie's did. Dick watched in amusement as Wally tried to explain that one away.

"It runs in the family!"

"Yours never swelled up like that."

"Well, I never had English Toffee. And that's only on that side of the family."

"Why do they have toffee if most of them are allergic to it, then?"

"Harry brought them?"

As for dessert? Well, let's just say Dick had never seen any of these candies in his life.

"Chocolate Frogs?" Dick asked. He opened the offered box, only to find something from inside jumping quickly past him. Ingrained Bat-skills and surprise caused Dick to reflexively fling his fork at the moving object.


The Weasley family stared in amazement at the fork now stabbing a chocolate frog in the wall.

"Whoa," the twins chorused together.

"How did you do that?" Ron asked.

"Never mind that," Dick deflected. "The frog just moved. How the hell does a chocolate frog move?"

"Magic?" Harry offered.

Wally shot Harry a glare that could burn him to a crisp faster than Superman's heat vision could melt a metal wall.

"Right…" Dick said. He watched as the entire family shared a nervous look with one another yet again. Dick was pretty sure about his theory now. Now to just corner Wally long enough for Dick to get answers.

But seeing as Wally got dragged off right after dinner, Dick concluded that this might take a while.

"So… going to tell me what's up now?"

Dick was in Wally's room, lying on his sleeping bag. The rest of the household was finally quiet; the other guests had long fallen asleep.

Wally didn't meet his eyes. "I'm sorry about today," he said. "My family can be quite overbearing, I know." He sat down on his bed.

A wry grin tugged on Dick's face. "Best part about them, I think."

Wally smiled. "Yeah. I agree. They're just…"

"Wizards?" Dick prompted.

Wally stared at his best friend in shock. "I'm going to take that as a yes," Dick said with an amused tone.

"W-what? But-But. H-how?"

Dick gave Wally a deadpan look. "Honestly, Wally. Did you forget who trained me?"

"Yeah, I mean no! I didn't forget," Wally quickly said. His hands were waving frantically in panic. Then his voice dropped into a quiet whisper. "What made you think they're wizards?"

Dick smirked. "Your family was dropping hints left and right. Muggle, expanded rooms and Harry Potter were pretty big clues."

"Well, yeah, but only if you know about the wizarding world to begin with," Wally argued.

"Hmm. True. Well, that might be because Mom's descended from Romani gypsies and our ringmaster was a wizard," Dick explained. "There's a reason why the circus was so famous." He smirked. "There might have been the tiniest hints of magic helping along the way and the animals may have been genuinely strange."

Wally stared at his friend. "B-but if you knew, why didn't you say anything earlier! Do you know how stressed I was believing you're not supposed to know?"

"It was fun watching you try to explain," Dick said with a grin.

Wally didn't share his amusement. "Just because they're here in America isn't gonna stop their Ministry from coming here to mind wipe you. I know they're not very good at it, despite what Uncle Arthur says. It does more than just wipe your memories of magic. If applied wrongly, you could forget everything, being Robin, Batman, the team, our friendship… me." Wally's angry voice dropped to a low whisper. "I can't lose you Dick. I just can't."

Dick was off the floor and sitting down next to Wally in a flash. He placed his hand on Wally's shoulder and noticed that his best friend was shaking. Dick had to admit, the idea of forgetting Wally, Bruce and the team was scary, terrifying even. Dick had faced the scariest of monsters, seen the harshest of crimes, but the idea of losing everything again topped all that. He closed his eyes for a moment and pushed away the dark memories of a rope snapping, bodies falling, and blood, blood, blood.

"Is this why you've always rejected the idea of magic?" Dick questioned once he felt calm enough to speak.

Wally ran his trembling hand through his red hair. "Yeah. It isn't the only reason but yeah… I don't want anyone to get too close to the truth or too suspicious. The England Ministry, they're idiots, they'll do anything to keep the secret of magic from reaching muggles. I've done my research a long time ago. If they found out you knew because of us, the Weasley family would be arrested, you would be mind-wiped and I really don't want to think of what they'd do to my parents, Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris too. The American ministry are actually a lot looser with its ruling, probably because we have more superheroes here who use magic on a regular basis. So they might leave us, possibly you, alone. But still…"

Dick frowned. "It isn't the only reason?" he repeated.

Wally looked away. A blush started to grow on his face. "I'm sure Artemis already told you, but you know the time you weren't with us and the team had an encounter with Doctor Fate?"

Dick nodded. "Yeah, Bats and I were held up in Gotham trying to capture the Joker."

"Well, on our way there Artemis asked me when I started "believing" in magic. I told them then that before I became Kid Flash, I wanted to be a wizard. It wasn't a lie."

Dick's eyes widened. The gears began to shift together in his head. "Oh…"

Wally nodded. "Yeah. I grew up knowing magic existed and had cousins who would grow up to be wizards and go off to wizarding schools. But Mom's a squib, which makes me one too. It didn't stop me from hoping though. Studies showed children of squibs show a 75% more chance of showing signs of magic. But my eleventh birthday came… and went. No letter to a fancy wizarding school, not even the briefest of signs that I might have magic in my blood."

"Wally…" Dick said softly. He didn't know what to say in this situation. Gypsy magic or not, that was one part of his heritage that Dick accepted early on that he would never be able to do. The simple reasoning being that actual magic was passed down from mother to daughter, rarely to the male side. If he had a daughter in the future, she might show signs, but Dick knew he would never be able to and he accepted that long before his parent's deaths.

Wally took a deep breath. "We were told during that mission that meeting Doctor Fate was a 'test of faith'. When I took the helmet, they told me to stop arguing and start believing. It dredged up some old memories. Like what if I didn't believe enough as a kid? Was that why?"

Taking another deep breath, Wally began to feel the calm returning. "But, I wouldn't trade my current life for magic."

Dick grinned. "We wouldn't have met if you went off to some fancy magic school in England."

"I wouldn't have become Kid Flash, wouldn't be saving the world before curfew," Wally said wispily. "Thanks."


"For listening." Wally swung his arm around Dick's shoulder. "I never really told anyone that before. It's kinda nice to get it off my shoulders." He leaned his forehead against Dick as the two quietly laughed.

After a moment of silence, Wally asked, "So, what did you do back in the Manor that made Alfred send you here?"

"Hmmm," Dick hummed. "I blew up a room."

Wally blinked. "You… blew up a room. Does Bruce know?"

"Not yet," Dick said with a grin. "He doesn't fly in until tomorrow night. Though it's possible that Alfred already called him."

"In other words, he's gonna be pissed. Really pissed."


"You're gonna need to stay the week aren't you?"

"Most likely. Do you mind?"

"Nah. Mom loves you and if they don't have to worry about blowing their secret around you, so will the rest of the family."

Dick tapped his chin in thought. "Hey, I just realized something. Doesn't your Uncle know some sort repairing spell?"

"Yeah. I think it's called "Reparo". Why?" Wally asked, curious as to what his best friend was thinking off.

"Think if we bribe him with enough Wayne Tech gadgets, he'll fix the room before Bruce comes back?"

Wally had a grin as wide as his face.

"Let's do it."

Please Review. :3 Sequel is up: My Hands