Author's Notes

This is my first fanfiction, so I hope that you enjoy it, and leave me some reviews (Hate reviews may or may not be appreciated).

Disclaimer: I do not own Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei is owned by Koji Kumeta, Shonen, Akiyuki Shinbo, Kodansha, Shaft, and Media Blasters. (At least that's what I think) All I own is the computer, water, food, clothes, and life that I have, this is just a fan made story.

Since I am the Author of this series, I will also narrate and help the characters break the fourth wall (That was an excellent idea Shuji Nonohana, sorry for stealing it).

So, here to join me is my Gaming Persona, and will be a star of another fanfiction of mine, Omega Congress. (Completely weird and original name I came up with)

Omega: Its good to be here.

So how about we start this fanfiction?

Omega: Is it about me?

No, its about the anime, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

Omega: Does it have hot girls?


Omega: ...

... Yes.

Chapter 1: Do I rule him or does he rule me?

Its not a usual day in the Nozomu's homeroom class. Everyone unusually was loud

due to the incident that happened on the news, last night.

Nozomu had his hands covering his ears. "Why is everyone so loud today?" Nozomu screamed at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately the class couldn't here him due to the loudness of the class.

It started when a couple of students were talking about the incident, then they started arguing and then the rest of the students was starting to get in on it, and that's how it all came to this.

Omega: *sarcasm* That was a great back-story. *sarcasm* Now why don't you tell us what the incident is before I take you to court!

I'm getting there, don't get your panties in a bunch.

Back to the story, in the halls there was a male student walking to Class-He. He was wearing a jacket, he also had black hair that had a blood red color on the tips of his hair. His hair was styled to cover his eyes from other people. He was wearing his "male school uniform" (Obviously).

"Another day, another problem." he said. He was able to hear the racket going on before he got inside of the school. So he was able to hear it while he was walking down the hall. He had a voice that was kind of a mix between Jun's and Nozomu's, which is pretty interesting.

He made his way toward the classroom door. He opens the door and he... doesn't cringe to the noise of the classroom. Which is pretty weird because if he could hear it from outside the school, then he should have been deaf once he opened the door. He looks over the class to see how everyone is. He looks to the right and sees Sensei covering his ears while Matoi does the same thing, behind him. He notices that Kafuka isn't doing anything except for smiling and sitting at her desk. Before he looks to the right, he sees his friend, Jun, and his crush, Harumi, reading their books. Jun is reading his favorite book (Which I seem to have forgotten the name of), while Harumi was reading her basic "Yoai Doujinshis". Once he looked through the right, he noticed a giant group of people arguing about something, but it was so loud that it wasn't audible. But he could here things like, "There doing the right thing," and, "Its not proper to kill someone just because its their job," and, "I'll sue whoever is crushing me in this group!" As you can already tell, the incident is about murder.

The student cleared his throat and yelled, "Hey!" His voice was louder and it stood out from all the other voices in the classroom. As soon as they heard that, they looked over to where the voice was coming from. The students looked shock because his voice was louder than everyone else's.

" We are in the middle of class, so can you all be quiet, take your sets, and listen to what the teacher will be teaching you today, UNDERSTAND?"

screamed the student. Everyone nodded and took their seats in unison. "Good." said the student. "Good morning." the student said to Nozomu, the student didn't express any emotion. As the student went to his seat, which is next to Harumi, Nozomu was speechless on how that student was able to get the class to be quiet and take their seats.

"Got them to quiet down, huh Sensei?" Matoi said.

"Sensei?" She said again.

"Who-" Nozomu said.

"Huh?" Matoi said, surprised.

"Who is that student?" Nozomu finished.

"I don't know." said Matoi.

"Then let's look on attendance record." suggested Kafuka.

As they looked through they attendance photos and records, the finally find the student.

"Zenno Chikara, student 26." Said Nozomu, reading the students attendance record. "How did I not notice you?"

"That's because I didn't get any screen time during the episodes." Zenno said angrily. "But thanks to the Author of this story, I was able to be found out, I didn't want to end up being that other guy, What's-his-face.

Your welcome, Zenno.

Break time

So what do you think the story is so far?

Omega: Well, all I can say is that with all the sueing from that blonde-haired chick, I'm going to have a lot of clients to deal with.

Kafuka: Look on the bright-side, at least you'll get more money when you win those cases.

Omega: Good point.

Nozomu: But what if he doesn't win the cases, he will be known as a horrible and untrustworthy attorney that can't win any cases. Then people will start to not go to him for defending and he will start to lose his money, and he will finally turn into a bum on your average street, begging for money.

Omega: I don't like that "turnabout."

So then how about you to do the line on three. One... Two... Three!

Nozomu & Omega: Zetsuboushita! A society that looks on peoples losses, then starts to find them untrustworthy, forgetting the fact that they may win do by a very high chance, has left us in despair!

Nozomu: Do you want to use my rope?

Omega: No thanks, I have my Jesus necklace.

Break Over

"Wait, did you just say, Chikara?" asked Chiri.

"Yeah, why?" asked Nozomu.

"The Chikara family is the most respected, combat trained, and wealthiest family in Japan!" yelled Chiri.

"What?" yelled everyone, except for Jun. Instead, Jun kept reading his book.

"She's right," said Zenno. Everyone's eyes turned to him. "In fact, I'm the son of the Shogun leader, Ranyou Chikara, and Japan's top Jujitsu teacher, Amari Chikara."

"So, your mother is Shogun leader, and your father is Japan's top Jujitsu teacher?" asked Nozomu.

"Actually," said Zenno, "Its vice versa."

Nozomu was shocked by the image of his mother being a Jujitsu teacher. But he also was shocked that if he says anything wrong about Zenno, he wouldn't even be humanly recognizable anymore.

"But how about we get focused on class, instead of talking about my family." Zenno said. It was obvious he was trying to avoid something, but we won't spoil.

During Class

"So can anyone tell me what the planets are in the Milky Way?" asked Nozomu to the students.

Chiri raised her hand.


"Its easy, the planets are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto, in that order." said Chiri. I didn't think she would make such an easy mistake.

"OBJECTION!" yelled Zenno, while slamming his hands on his desk. All eyes started to look at him. "Oh, Kitsu-san," he said while shaking his head w/ his eyes closed, "I didn't expect someone like you make such a simple mistake, since you say your perfect in every way."

"What do you mean?" asked Chiri, "I got the correct answer, right sense-"

"HOLD IT!" yelled Zenno

"If you haven't known already (which I hardly doubt), then you would know that Pluto is not a planet anymore." Zenno said. He then slammed his hands on his desk, "Therefore, your answer is wrong!"

Everyone was shocked that Chiri would make such a simple mistake, and that Zenno was the one who pointed that out. Everybody was so used to Chiri getting all the answers right, that everyone didn't notice her slip-up.

"Well, he is correct." said Nozomu.

"No, how could I make such a simple slip-up?" Chiri asked, "That's not proper of me at all!"

After Class

Everyone was leaving the class, except for Jun, Harumi, Nozomu, Abiru, and Zenno. Zenno was talking to Jun, Nozomu and Harumi were taking their time to put their stuff away, and Abiru was at her desk.

"So, how many times have you read that book?" asked Zenno.

"I'd say about a million times." Jun responded

"Don't you ever get tired of that book?"

"Nah, its a good book. But since I already read it before, it gets boring. But, at least it makes me look smart."

"Hey, Chikara-san." Zenno looked over and saw his teacher.

"Good work with making sure Chiri didn't get that question correct." Nozomu said happily. "You may actually be the smartest person in this class." "Its good to have a normal student in this class."

Somewhere in the distance, "Don't say normal!"

Nozomu left the class.

"Hey, I think I'll be taking my leave now." said Jun to Zenno.

"See you tomorrow then." said Zenno.

Jun then left the class.

Well now that he's gone, I think I'm going to confront her thought Zenno. As he started to walk towards Harumi, someone grabs his shoulder.

"Hey, can I ask you a favor?" Zenno turned over a saw Abiru.

"What is it Kobushi-san?" asked Zenno

"Well, I think someone thought it would be funny if they took my crutches, so I won't be able to walk far without some help."

"But, I-" He then looked over to Harumi's desk, but she wasn't there. "*sigh* Alright, let me help you up." He picked her up and carried her like how sensei was carrying Matoi in the 1st opening of SZS.

Since he was one of the strongest students in the school, he was able to carry Abiru with no sweat. From Abiru's point of view, she could Zenno's eyes, which wasn't visible if you were if front of him. Zenno had red eyes, which could be a health condition. But really, he needs to see a doctor about that.

Mikoto: You mean me?

"You have nice eyes." Abiru said.

Zenno blushed when he heard this but then Abiru said, "You would go great with a tail." while smiling. This immediately flushed all the blood out from his head, since that sentence was way too disturbing.


"Gah." Zenno yelled in pain. *fall*

When he fell, Abiru rolled about 2 feet away from him.

Zenno looked up and saw pink-colored panties. He looked further up and saw a blonde-haired girl wearing a blue sweater.

"You saw, didn't you?" yelled the blonde-haired girl.

"Huh?" Zenno responded

"Sue, I'LL SUE YOU!" The blonde girl was obviously Kaere.

Omega: I'll defend you.

Don't count on it, this is not your first "Turnabout."

About 10 minutes later, the finally make it to Abiru's house.

"Thank you for carrying me to my house." Abiru said sincerely.

"Its fine, I didn't have anything else better to do." Zenno said with a smile on his face.

"You must feel tired from carrying me to my house, you want to come in?" Abiru asked.

"Well, I do feel quite fatigued. I guess I can stay for a bit."


Abiru's House

"Please make yourself at home.' Abiru said.

"Thank you." Zenno responded putting his jacket on the coat hanger.

He looked around the house, but he didn't find anyone.

"Where's your parents?" he asked.

"My dad is out for the day on a... business trip." she said nervously, "As for my mom... I don't know much about her."

"So you're basically alone 'till your father comes back?"


Zenno then walks to Abiru's room.

"Do you mind if I take a look at your room?" Zenno asked pointing at her door.

"Not at all, besides, I said 'Make yourself at home.'" she responded with a slight smile on her face.

He took his hand onto the knob and turned it, melodramatically. He turned the knob and found about a dozen of animal tails on the wall.

"What the- why the- how the-" Zenno said while stuttering.

"Yes, this is my room." said Abiru ignoring the fact that he was stuttering, "If you can't tell already, I have a tail fetish."

"Well, at least its a more "normal" fetish than the others I have seen." he said in relief.

Somewhere in the distance... again, "Don't say 'Normal!'"

"You wait here, I'll make some tea for us." Abiru said running out of the door.

Zenno just sat down and looked at all the tails in her room. There was an elephant tail, tiger, leopard, wolf, any animal you can name. It was so astonishing that he got up and started examining the tails to see if they were real. It was pretty creepy because they were real.

"You seem to really like those tails, huh?" Abiru said with a tray that has two tea cups on it.

"Huh?" Zenno said turning his heard to Abiru, "Nah, just wanted to see if these were real or not, since there were so many tails."

"Of course they're real, if they weren't, then I wouldn't place them on my wall."

They both sat down across from each other with the tray in the middle of them. Zenno took his tea and sipped it. It nearly burned his tounge. He cringed from the hotness of the tea.

"Be careful, the tea's hot." Abiru said.

"Would have been nice to tell me that before I started drinking!" he yelled while trying to cool off his tongue. Abiru laughed.

"I'm sorry for causing all this trouble for you." Abiru said with a sad face.

"What do you mean?" asked Zenno.

"It seemed you were focused on something before I asked you to help me."

"Well," Zenno said while putting his cup down, "I wanted to talk to, Harumi about... something."

"What?" Abiru said tilting her head.

"P-private matters." Zenno said shifting his eyes. Sweat was starting to trickle down his face to his chin, right into his cup.

Zach (Future character in another series): That's really gross.

Omega: Shut up, you germaphobic!

Abiru noticed he was being nervous, and she said, "Wait, you like her don't you." without trying to laugh.

"Well, to be honest, I kind of have a... glasses fetish." There was so much blood in his head that he felt like he was going to explode.

"Well, at least a glasses fetish is more common than a tail fetish."

"Or vice versa." They both chuckled.

After they both finished their tea, Zenno said, "Well, I have to get home now."

"Thank you for helping me, and for keeping me company for a bit." Abiru said sincerely.

"Will you promise not to tell anyone about my glasses fetish?" Zenno asked.

"Of course."

"Then we're even."

Zenno took his jacket and said to Abiru, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Abiru said with a smile.

End of Chapter 1

Well what do you think? My first ever Fanfiction.

Omega: Well, the part were Chiri got mixed up with the planets was pretty, lame, odd, and it took off some parts of my series!

Stop whining, I'll get to that soon enough!

Omega: You already written some of it in a journal, why wasn't my Fanfiction first?

I had this in my head once I made a account, so I'll get to yours, probably in the summer.

Omega: Summer! Dude that's a pretty long time from now!

Can you at least use your "Court Voice" in court? Not in my room! Besides, how'd you get here?

Omega: Magic.


Omega: MAGIC!

Friends w/o Benefits

My friend from 5th grade gave me this awesome CD for my birthday, today. (Its not really my birthday, today.) Its labeled "Music that will blow your Mind." I know that's just an expression, so let's pop this into my speakers, and here this music. *song starts* Song: Britney Spears; Baby Hit Me One More Time.

*Head Explodes*