Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.
Part 2: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, favourites and alerts! Sorry I haven't replied, but I was so busy with Uni work – now it's all over though until October!
Thanks especially to leafgirl-88 who pointed out some English-American mistakes, I hadn't quite realised how much Englishness I shoved into this story! And Nathalie Andrews who took the time to point out all her favourite bits and I love it when people do that.
This does get rather toothache-y towards the end, but this was always about two boys that fall in love and maybe grow a little along the way.
Again I am English – just a warning.
Castiel stumbled slightly on the bottom stair and kicked Gabriel's shoes out of the way as he picked up the phone.
"Hello, Dean." Castiel replied, Dean sounded to be in a happy mood and it immediately made Castiel smile. Dean in any mood tended to make Castile smile.
"Hi, you want to come over for movies later? It's New Year's Eve-Eve and I have the night off."
Castiel could hear Dean's grin and possibly a wink, but he wasn't completely sure.
"Sure. Do you want me to bring anything?" Castiel always went for cool chips, though he wasn't entirely sure how 'cool' could be a flavour.
"Relax, I have your awesome chips." Dean laughed. "Just get over here."
"OK. I won't be long." Castiel said always eager to be in Dean's presence. He put down the phone and jogged upstairs to turn off his old laptop. "Gabriel, I'm going out." Gabriel was the only other person in the house; his parents still had to work between the holidays.
"What?" Gabriel called back the door of his room was shut.
"I'm going out!" Castiel shouted again, pulling on the Christmas jumper his Grandmother had given him, this year it featured a large white snowflake on a dark blue background.
Castiel sighed and banged on Gabriel's door as he passed, "I'm going -" The door opened under his hand.
"I heard." Gabriel grinned at him.
Castiel rolled his eyes. Gabriel had been spending every moment he was not at work locked in his room since Christmas. It was odd to say the least. Castiel had almost missed his constant teasing about Dean.
"Going to get some sugar from the boyfriend?" Almost missed it.
"I'm going out." Castiel repeated. "I'll be back late probably."
"Sure." Gabriel said, glancing back over his shoulder into his room.
"What's so fascinating in there?" Castiel asked, attempting to peek over Gabriel's head.
"Never you mind." Gabriel shut the door in Castiel's face.
"If you're keeping someone prisoner I'm calling the police." Castiel said, jogging down the stairs and grabbing his outerwear, pulling on his hefty winter boots.
The snow had been periodically melting during the winter sun of the day and freezing again at night causing a polished glass effect all over the pavements. Castiel walked gingerly as he made his way to Dean's house, occasionally hanging on to fences and bushes so as not fall on his bony ass. Dignity be damned, he wanted an intact butt.
Dean greeted him with a grin and a kiss.
"Sam won't be back 'till late." Dean said, hanging up Castiel's coat. He turned around and smirked. "You look so hot in that sweater."
"It does keep me warm." Castiel smiled and they walked into the kitchen.
Dean was still grinning as he poured them both glasses of cheap knockoff cola, but there was something off about him. Something Castiel could see in the lines of his shoulders under his rather ragged green shirt, the muscles tight and unhappy even though Dean's smile was still in place.
Castiel thought that Dean had become too good an actor over the years of blending in at new schools. It was only because he'd been getting to know Dean better that he could tell when something was wrong, even when Dean didn't want him to know.
"Has something happened?" Castiel's thoughts immediately went to the idea that someone had found out about Dean and Sam's father not being at home and had reported them to the authorities.
Dean sighed, slumping over the kitchen counter. "Sam and me got into an argument."
Castiel let out his breath and was pleased that it had nothing to do with Social Services, but to Dean arguing with Sam was as bad as losing him.
"What did you fight about?" For Castiel arguing with his siblings, particularly Gabriel, was a fairly regular occurrence. It was inevitable with having several brothers and sisters who were all quite close in age, despite the fact that they were older now and supposedly more mature.
For Dean it was different. Especially now that Sam was all he had.
He had told Castiel that his father and Sam had argued nearly constantly as Sam had become a teenager. Dean had often felt less like a member of the family and more like a referee. He hated to argue with Sam, because he was afraid of losing him too. He was sure that once Sam was old enough he would leave and Dean would be alone.
Though Dean had never specifically told him this, Castiel had still heard it.
"I don't know. Something stupid." Dean said.
Castiel shifted closer and wrapped one arm around Dean's torso from behind. Dean had done this to him just a couple of days before, after a blow-out between Lucifer and his mother. Castiel had been upset and Dean had held him for a moment in this way, he felt it would be appropriate for him to reciprocate now because Dean was upset too.
Castiel's social skills were still poor, but he was learning.
Dean leaned back a little against Castiel. "He doesn't realise all that I do. How little we're surviving on." He sighed. "He keeps asking for things and I can't give him them. He needs money for a school trip, or something. He doesn't realise how hard I work. I don't know. He does sometimes and not others."
"He's fourteen." Castiel replied. His hand rested over Dean's chest, Dean's pendant caught between his fingers.
"I know." Dean said.
"I think you should talk to him more." Castiel said. He turned his face into Dean's neck. Dean always smelled a little like the auto shop he worked at and like the cheap deodorant he used, the scents somehow blended together to make a smell that was uniquely Dean and very enjoyable.
"He doesn't need to know my problems, Cas. He has enough of his own." Dean said, one of his rough hands playing with the sleeve of Castiel's Christmas jumper.
"If you want him to appreciate how hard you work, then you have to tell him how hard you work." Castiel replied, he thought that this made complete sense. But, Dean often looked at things in a way that didn't make any sense at all, not to Castiel at least.
Dean just hummed and turned his head to press a kiss to Castiel's mouth. "Shall we watch the movie now?" He asked.
Castiel knew that Dean was purposefully changing the subject.
"Sure." Castiel moved to let Dean go.
Dean handed him a glass of cola and they walked across into the living room. Dean and Sam had been given an ancient VHS player and a stack of old movies by their equally ancient next door neighbour. Dean shoved in Clash of the Titans and pressed himself close to Castiel on the sofa.
Dean had professed to love this movie, but he didn't spend much time watching it. Mostly he seemed to prefer pressing his tongue into Castiel's mouth. Though, Castiel was pretty happy about that too.
Castiel pulled back from Dean's lips. "Dean, you're pushing me." He said.
"I know." Dean smiled. "I'm trying to get you to lie back."
"Oh." Castiel returned Dean's smile and lay back against the arm of the couch, embarrassed at his lack of knowledge.
Dean paused, looking down at him for a moment green eyes bright, then grinned. Castiel had never been looked at like that before; like he meant something, at least to someone outside his family.
Castiel pulled at the collar of Dean's t-shirt, an instant return to the kissing seemed very important at that moment. Dean gave a groan of surprise that made Castiel smile and he gasped in shock when Dean's cold, rough hand suddenly made its way under Castiel's jumper. Curious fingers stroked over Castiel's skin, his flat belly and prominent hipbones. Castiel, now aware that skin contact would be welcome, reached over Dean's shoulder and tugged up his shirt and t-shirt to get to Dean's smooth muscular back.
Dean was grinning now and Castiel was mostly kissing his teeth.
"What?" He finally asked, pulling back a little, though his hands continued to explore the lines and bones of Dean's spine.
Dean was warm and solid above him. His amulet rested on Castiel's chest, his right arm was beside Castiel's head, the shirt sleeve brushing Castiel's temple and cheek. It was worn and soft.
"I'm just… Happy I guess." Dean smiled and dipped his head, but before their lips met, the front door slammed open.
"What the-" Dean lifted his head. "Sam? I thought you were going to be out until late?" He reluctantly moved off from over Castiel and sat back against the couch as Sam came into better view.
Castiel pulled down his sweater and Dean straightened his shirts. Castiel had to admit that he was annoyed at the interruption. He wanted time alone with Dean. He wanted to be close to Dean. He wanted Dean all to himself. Selfish as it sounded. He wanted a moment with Dean when neither of them had to think of any responsibilities, where nothing outside the two of them existed. He wanted more skin and fewer clothes.
"I felt like coming home." Sam shrugged.
There was clearly a lot of tension between them and Sam barely looked at Dean. There was remorse there, but also anger, also upset.
"Great." Dean said. "Have you eaten?" He asked, even through his annoyance Dean managed to be concerned about his little brother.
Castiel dipped his head to chest and smiled. It was typical Dean.
"Yeah. I had pizza at Leon's house." Sam said. "Good pizza." He added harshly.
"Sam." Dean said. He sounded angry, but there was pain his tone at this sudden turn in Sam's attitude. It certainly hadn't been like this at Christmas. He stood up.
Castiel felt the change in the air. Sam looked at Dean in challenge – asking for an argument. Castiel reached up and grabbed Dean's arm.
"Don't, Dean." Castiel said. Another argument with Sam would not make things better for either of them. Castiel had been in enough fights with his own siblings to know.
Sam sneered and stomped into his room.
"Do you see that? This is what he's like lately!" Dean kicked the sofa and threw himself onto it, dropping his head into his hands. "I don't know why I bother. I don't know what to do."
"Can I talk to him?" Castiel asked, shuffling close to Dean and wrapping a hand around Dean's arm.
"Sure, if you want your head bitten off." Dean said, waving a hand towards Sam's bedroom door.
Castiel knocked a couple of times before entering without waiting for Sam's answer.
"Hello Sam." Castiel said.
Sam was sitting on his bed, his knees pulled to his chest, chin resting on top. "Hey Cas. Nice sweater."
Castiel smiled wryly. "Are you OK? Dean's upset. He doesn't know what he's done wrong." He said sitting down on the end of Sam's bed. Sam's room had the same white walls as the rest of the house, but he had a newer bed and a real desk and chair, though all were clearly second hand they were of decent quality. Castiel's suspicions about the differences in Dean's and Sam's rooms were confirmed. There were books and papers everywhere.
Castiel didn't precisely know how he was going to help the situation but Sam was so important to Dean, Castiel had to do something. Besides, he liked Sam too and hoped that Sam liked him. If Sam needed someone to talk to, Castiel could listen couldn't he?
Sam stayed silent for a long minute.
"I miss Dad. It's the Holidays, he should be here." Sam finally said. Castiel had little experience with absent parents. He was lucky enough to still have both. But, he couldn't imagine ever not loving either one, not matter what they did. "Sometimes I hate him so much, but I miss him. I can't help it."
"He is still your Dad, Sam. You can't just not love him anymore, no matter what he's done." Castiel said. He shuffled a little closer to Sam.
Sam looked up at him, his floppy brown hair covered one of his eyes, but the other was clearly filling with tears. Castiel panicked slightly, not entirely sure what he was meant to do in such a situation. In their family he was not the one people went to for comfort, he was the one they picked on when they were annoyed. He finally decided on lifting a hand and dropping it on Sam's shoulder, he squeezed.
"I'm sure Dean misses him too." Castiel said. That he was sure of.
Though Dean had said little about his father, what he had said was always admiring somehow – even though the tone was always exhausted.
"Dean doesn't talk about him and… I don't know what to say anyway. I-I just miss him." Sam shrugged, tears were falling in earnest now and his voice was hiccupping.
"Missing your Dad doesn't give you the right to be horrible to Dean. He works hard and he's doing his best." Castiel said, it sounded mean as soon as he'd said it, but Castiel had to say it because he knew Dean wouldn't.
"I know." Sam sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I just… Dunno what to do." He was only fourteen.
"Come on." Castiel took hold of Sam's hand, tugging him off the bed and out of his room. Castiel couldn't fix this, only one person could.
Dean immediately looked up from his hands and saw Sam in tears. He jumped from the couch and pulled Sam into his arms.
"I'm sorry Dean." Sam's voice was muffled against Dean's chest. "I miss Dad."
"I miss him too Sammy." Dean said, he gave a small grateful grin to Castiel over Sam's head and pulled him closer so he was standing within their tiny family unit.
Dean stroked his large hands over Sam's back and nudged his shoulder against Castiel's. Castiel would have to wait for another day to be alone with Dean.
Castiel poured himself a glass of wine and picked up a bottle of beer for Dean, his parents were always at their most lenient at New Year, mostly because they were drunk themselves. Dean was in the garage with Castiel's father and uncle looking at Uncle Max's old Cadillac.
Sam and Dean had seemed a little happier than they had yesterday and Castiel had assumed they'd talked some after he had gone home. Sam had definitely appeared less angry at least, though it was a problem that would never be resolved – not if their father never came home and probably not even then.
Sam was currently sitting in Kathy's office eagerly absorbing her books on pagan religions and angels.
"Pass me one, Cas." Gabriel said over Castiel's shoulder.
Castiel had found out exactly why Gabriel had been locked in his room for days: he had a boyfriend. Gabriel had been talking online and over the phone to a boy called Nate every minute of every day it seemed. At least Castiel had proof now of Gabriel's bisexuality, though he hadn't expected his brother to end up with a boy so…. Flamboyant.
Castiel didn't actually know anyone else who was gay, except Dean and, apart from the fact he liked to kiss Castiel, he was hardly gay at all. At least not in a way that was easily identified.
Castiel handed Gabriel a beer, it was almost 11pm.
"So… You like him? Nate?" Gabriel asked. He looked a little insecure. It looked odd on Gabriel's face; he was always the most confident and assured of Castiel's siblings.
"Yeah. I like him." Castiel said. Nate's forward personality had surprised Castiel at first, but Nate was funny and charming, honest and forward with his opinions. He was more than a match for Gabriel.
Gabriel looked across the room where Nate was talking to Michael and Melissa, Castiel's eyes followed. Nate had a hand on Michaels arm and the three of them were laughing at whatever he was saying.
"And at least Nate isn't overcompensatingly butch." Gabriel smirked.
"Dean isn't overcompensatingly butch." Castiel said. Though Dean was pretty butch.
"Hey Gabe." Nate entered the kitchen area and kissed Gabriel quickly on the lips.
Nate was taller than Gabriel, though that wasn't saying much, about Dean's height. His hair was a style that a lot of people had at school and jet black and he had yellow-brown eyes like Castiel had never seen before.
"Hey Cassy." Nate said.
"Don't call him that." Gabriel frowned at him. Castiel smiled at his big brother instincts.
Nate grinned at Castiel as if they were sharing a secret.
"There you are. I thought you were bringing me beer?" Dean appeared next to him, taking the beer Castiel had opened with the intention of giving Dean. "Your Uncle has an awesome car." He grinned. "Hey Nate." He kissed the corner of Castiel's mouth, comfortable in Castiel's house, with Castiel's family.
"Hi." Nate smiled. "You two are so cute."
Dean groaned. "Don't you start. I get enough from him." He jerked his head at Gabriel.
"Moi?" Gabriel looked offended.
Dean leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Sam still in your Mom's office?"
"Little nerd." Dean said.
"Hey littlest brother and littlest brother's abnormally handsome boyfriend." Michael appeared smirking and holding both hands behind his back. Castiel tilted his head to try and see what his brother was holding.
"Y'know I'm starting to think that you want to date me." Dean said taking a long drink of his beer.
Michael grinned. "Speaking of Yearbooks…" He pulled his arms out from behind his back with a flourish. He was holding the Yearbook of Castiel's high school, last year's book – the one from Gabriel graduating year.
Castiel smiled. Gabriel had been part of last year's school production of West Side Story. He hadn't really wanted to, but he had a flair for the dramatic and he had been rather forced by his teacher and their mother.
"NO!" Gabriel shouted diving for the book and missing. "Give me that Michael!"
"Why? I think Nate would like to look at all these lovely pictures of you." Michael smiled shark-like and ran off into the living room attempting to hide behind Lucifer.
Gabriel darted out of the kitchen, intent on taking the book.
"Now I have to see this." Nate grinned and dashed off after Gabriel.
"At least they're not picking on us anymore." Castiel said. Keeping his eyes on his brothers – Michael was holding the Year Book high above his head and trying to keep Gabriel away with the other arm. He was calling to Lucifer to help.
And his mother had thought all this would stop as they got older.
"Yeah. We're yesterday's news." Dean smirked and crowded Castiel close to the kitchen counter. "So, you gonna give me a midnight kiss?" He asked.
"At midnight I will." Castiel said. "It's only 11.15." He slipped out from under Dean's arm and walked into the living room.
Gabriel had climbed on top of a living room chair and was currently in a tug-of-war with Michael over the book.
Things were changing. His life and the lives of the people around him were changing and, although some things would always stay the same, Castiel thought that this was a very good thing.
He heard Dean groan behind him and follow him into the living room.
Castiel sighed and sat up straight, his back creaking and clicking in protest. He'd been bent over his desk and ancient laptop since he'd come in from school. His teachers hadn't been kidding about the extra work load, he wondered how Dean was going to get it all done while he was working. He clicked to save his geography essay and quickly shut it down, the buzzing and clanking noises the computer was making were getting worse every day. He would have to find a way to convince his Dad to get him a new one before college.
"Castiel! Dinner!" His mother called up the stairs, voice echoing down the hall.
Castiel shuffled downstairs and into his seat at the table, instantly scooping rice and peas and jerk chicken onto his plate. Gabriel was working, but Anna was still home. Her vacation was longer than Michael and Lucifer's, she went to a different college.
"Have you decided what colleges you're going to visit yet, Castiel?" Anna asked. "You know my school has a great History course." She was sweet sister, but also spoilt. As the only girl of the family it was to be expected really and she delighted in bossing her brothers around.
She'd had to be tough being the middle child surrounded by brothers, but also clever enough to outwit said brothers when she needed to. Thankfully there was much less of the bossing around since she was at college a lot of the time, though she came home more often than the twins – she appeared to be incapable of doing her own washing even though Michael and Lucifer had learnt just fine.
"Mostly." Castiel replied. If he was honest he had given colleges little thought since before Christmas. With all his schoolwork he barely had time for anything, he had hardly seen Dean for a week except at school, in their little corner of the library.
"We can visit your first choices next week." Joe said. "I can take the weekend away." He always seemed able to read Castiel's mind. Castiel had known for a year what his first choices were.
"OK." Castiel said. "You don't happen to know the population of Papua New Guinea do you?"
Castiel heaved an armful of books onto the table beside Dean and slumped into the seat next to him. Only Dean was occupying the table, though the library was unusually full of seniors. Clearly many of Castiel's fellow students had decided it was time to start putting some work in.
"Hey Cas." Dean looked up from his work to smile at him. He was wearing what Castiel recognised as one of Lucifer's old black jumpers. The snow was still hanging around some and the weather was still bitingly cold. "Do you really need all these books?"
"Hello Dean. And yes." Castiel sighed. His History and English assignments, the third for each in two weeks, required rather too much reading Castiel thought. Even in his dreams he was turning pages and swimming through pools of letters and words. It was odd that he deemed these two subjects the most important when looking at universities. "What work is that?" Castiel asked, nodding at the papers Dean was scribbling on.
"It's not school work." Dean said, pushing the forms towards Castiel. "They're the forms to become Sam's legal guardian. Ten days to my birthday, I want to hand these babies in right away."
"That's a good idea." Castiel looked at the forms that required character witnesses. "I'm sure my Dad and Bobby would be happy to fill these in." He said. Both had nothing but good things to say about Dean.
"Not you?" Dean asked.
"I'm not eighteen until May." Castiel said, separating the History books from the English, then sorting them into suspected usefulness.
"They have to do a home visit." Dean said after a moment of watching Castiel curiously. His tone said he wasn't looking forward to that.
"So? The house looks great." Castiel smiled encouragingly. Castiel had always thought that it felt like a home and he couldn't believe how they kept the place so clean.
Dean just nodded. Castiel thought he was worried over nothing. No one in their right mind would refuse to make Dean Sam's guardian after seeing how well Dean took care of him. Better than some parents would, better than their father had.
"Stop worrying." Castiel said. He shifted his chair a little closer to Dean, as close as he could while still in school, and squeezed Dean's knee, feeling the heat of Dean's skin through the hole in his jeans. Dean smiled at him and nodded.
Castiel wanted Dean to always smile. He had a set of smiles he reserved just for Sam, but Castiel was beginning to think that there might a set just for him now too. Now that Dean was more himself around Castiel. There were few questions about which Dean Castiel might speak to these days, he seemed more comfortable in himself.
Castiel turned back to his books, leaving his hand where it was while he read.
Castiel returned to the library after school and Sam joined him while Dean went to work.
Castiel and Sam worked in silence for a little while, each absorbed in their own assignments. Sam and Castiel were becoming friends in their own right, where before what had connected the two of them had been Dean. Castiel was pleased about this because he liked Sam.
"Hey Cas, it's Dean's birthday soon." Sam said.
"I know." Castiel replied, not looking up from his English essay. "I'm not sure what to get him. Do you have any suggestions?" Though Castiel knew the only thing Dean really wanted was to legally become Sam's guardian.
"Well yeah, that's the thing, I need your help." Sam said. "And maybe your Dad's help too."
Castiel looked up at that. Sam clearly had a good idea for a present. He was very excited about it, wiggling a little in his chair, hazel eyes glinting. He seemed very like Dean in that moment.
"Of course, if we can." Castiel replied.
"See… Dean really wants this particular car." Sam was about to continue but Castiel interrupted.
"A 1967 Chevy Impala." Castiel said, remembering almost the same level of excitement on Dean's face as on Sam's when he had described the car to him.
"Yeah, one of those." Sam said, surprised but pleased that Castiel knew. "I was thinking if we could find one, even it was poor shape it would be Dean's and he could fix up!" He grinned, clearly pleased with himself for coming up with the idea.
Castiel nodded, it was a good idea. "I'll ask my Dad about it. Maybe Bobby could help too."
Sam's grin widened further, he did not seem to have the same compunctions about asking for help that Dean had.
Castiel tapped his pen against his teeth. His Uncle Max had a friend who owned a salvage yard.
He bent back over his essay.
"He'll forgive you eventually, Cas." Joe said, thumbing through the college prospectus and frowning as he got to the costs of accommodation. Surely it hadn't cost him that much for Anna?
Castiel nodded morosely. Just the day before Castiel had accidentally 'outed' his brother. Why couldn't he just have remembered to call him Luke? Why was that so difficult? Castiel sighed. He hadn't meant to do it. He was sure that all Lucifer's friends and teammates – the whole student population probably – now knew that the star of their football team was not called Luke, but Lucifer. That he was named for the Devil.
Castiel was lucky that Lucifer had not punched his lights out. His brother was not one to let go of things easily and he knew it would be some time before Lucifer forgave him. If he ever did.
"He's leaving college soon anyway Cas. He shouldn't have kept it a bloody secret for so long." Joe said. He wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders in comfort and sighed, steering his son towards a bench. Castiel sat down.
"Why did Mom name him Lucifer anyway? Couldn't you have stopped her?" Castiel said. He was fond of his own name, but he understood how Lucifer probably wouldn't be. He had been known as Satan of the Football Pitch at high school.
"Are you joking? When have I ever been able to stop your mother doing anything once she's decided something?" Joe laughed and then fell silent.
Castiel nodded, it was true. Lucifer had inherited her hard-headedness and her ability to hold a grudge. He sighed, resigning himself to perhaps never speaking to his elder brother again.
Joe sniffed and Castiel looked at his Dad. He never really thought about how old his father was. How much he did for them all. How much he loved Castiel. How Dean didn't have that any more – if he ever had.
"Dad?" Castiel asked after a moment of silence. "You OK?"
"Yeah." Joe sighed. "I just can't believe you're going to college already." His unusual accent flattening out his vowels. "I'll miss you. It'll just be me and your Mam and Gabriel at home."
"Sorry. I don't mean to leave you alone with them." Castiel smiled.
"I'll survive somehow." Joe grinned. "You don't even want to go to this university, do you?" He gestured to the building they were sitting in front of. "You're going to go to Michael and Lucifer's college, aren't you?"
"Yeah. Sorry, Dad." Castiel said. Their college had good courses for English and History, it was close to home without being too close and Castiel had heard so many good things about the place from his brothers.
"I suppose Lucifer didn't get chance to tell you that he's been spotted by a scout." Joe said, pride infusing every word.
"Really? That's brilliant!" Castiel grinned, though he quickly realised that his mother would be deeply unhappy.
"Yeah, it is. And Michael's going to put in to study his Master's course at the college. So, he'll still be around if you need him." Joe sighed as he realised all his children were grown now. "Anna's doing well and I'm thinking of making Gabriel assistant manager of Bellevue. He's been great there, learning quickly and coming up with good ideas." Joe's eyes stared at the building in front. Clearly he was elsewhere, thinking of other things.
Castiel smiled a little, he had always been acutely aware that he was youngest. But, he had never realised what that meant for the rest of his family. He had been sheltered, particularly by a father and elder brothers who loved him and had known he was different since he was small. Even Gabriel, funny but not at all tough Gabriel, had once punched a boy in the face who had accused Castiel of 'looking' at him in the locker room.
Castiel was who he was because of their protection. It was odd, now that he thought about it. He had been moulded by his brothers, sometimes by only their legacy. Sure, there were some things that maybe he would've done differently. Perhaps he might've been more forward, or maybe he would have had more friends, but he wouldn't change anything. His brothers loved him. They loved him for who he was.
"Y'know, you didn't cry when you were born." Joe suddenly said. He wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders and tugged him close. "You just lay there, looking at your mother with those big blues. You didn't even blink."
Castiel looked at his father. He had inherited his blues eyes from him.
"Your mother actually asked the nurse if you were alive, she was so worried at your silence. Your brothers and Anna had screamed the house down, but not you." Joe smiled. Castiel had never heard this story before. "You were quiet. You were… Thoughtful. Always thinking… My little Castiel. Not little anymore though, eh?"
"Dad." Castiel said. He had been so concentrating on his own thoughts and feelings about going to college, and indeed about Dean, that he hadn't really thought about his parents.
His was right, Castiel wasn't little anymore. He was different now. He didn't… Want the protection of his father and brothers anymore. He loved them and he was grateful for all they had done for him, but he was no longer a little boy. He wasn't little Castiel and he didn't want to be.
"Come on. Let's go home." Joe stood.
Castiel followed suit and they walked back to the car.
Castiel sighed throwing down his pencil, giving up on his trigonometry homework. Lucifer still wasn't talking to him so Castiel couldn't call him for help. He didn't really blame Lucifer, he had spilled a very well-kept secret after all.
Castiel sighed again. He closed his math book and clambered off the bed deciding he would go back to it later. Perhaps it was time that he stopped asking Lucifer for help.
"Dad?" Castiel knocked on the door to his father's office and took a step inside.
Joe held up a finger, he was on the phone. "Yeah…. That's brilliant… I'll send Bobby for it on Thursday, that OK?... Yeah… Cheers Lloyd!"
Castiel entered the room fully.
"Guess what I just found?" Joe grinned, putting the phone down.
Castiel shook his head and raised an eyebrow in question. "What?"
"A 1967 Chevy Impala." Joe smiled smugly. "It's in good condition too. Well… the engine is at least."
Castiel grinned too. "You're brilliant." Dean was going to be so pleased. So was Sam.
"I am known for my brilliance." Joe said. "Won't cost anything either, Lloyd owes me a few favours."
"Really? Thanks, Dad!" Castiel couldn't wait to see Dean's face when he saw the car.
"Well, he's a good lad. And I know how much you like him." Joe said. "You seem different these days, happier… With him."
"I am." Castiel said. "Can you bring it to Bobby's? Dean doesn't have a driveway at his house."
"Of course." Joe nodded and winked up at his son.
It was Thursday. Castiel and Sam had been to see the Impala that was currently sitting in the old shed at Bobby's shop. It certainly needed a lot of work, but he got the feeling that Dean wouldn't mind that. That if he fixed it all up then it would truly be his car.
He was sitting in his room, trying to read a book for English lit, but he couldn't pull his thoughts from Dean. Dean and his soft lips and his hot skin, his worn clothes and the hard muscles beneath them. Dean and his unique smell, his wide smiles, but still somewhat shuttered green eyes and his too soft bed. Dean's birthday was Saturday.
Castiel heard the front door open and slam closed and then the voices of Gabriel and Nate playfully arguing downstairs.
Castiel bit his lip and then hopped off his bed, he got to the bottom stair and paused. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He didn't want to give Gabriel more fuel to tease him with, but he was so unsure about this stuff.
Nate's unusual yellow-brown eyes immediately landed on him as he entered the kitchen. He was wearing a key on a chain around his neck.
"Hey Cassy." Nate said. Gabriel turned to look at Nate from where he was filling the coffee pot and frowned.
"Don't call him that." Gabriel said.
"Aww, ever the big brother." Nate grinned and leaned down a little to kiss Gabriel's cheek. He narrowed his eyes when he looked back at Castiel. "You OK? You look a little flushed."
"I need to ask you something." Castiel said nodding towards the dining room door.
Castiel stepped into the dining room and Nate followed closing the door almost all the way behind himself.
"Don't be long!" Gabriel called.
Castiel took a deep breath. He looked at the floor, then at the word 'LUSH' in yellow stitching on Nate's work uniform, and finally Nate's soft, wide mouth. "Dean and I..." He started, unsure of what he wanted to ask, of what he even wanted from Dean except more.
Nate raised an eyebrow. "You and Dean getting a little excited, huh?" Castiel had got to know Nate a little better, Nate was always at the house and Castiel had come to like his outlandish personality. Like Castiel he had never, and could not, pretend to be anything other than who he was.
"Yes." Castiel said.
Nate grinned and nodded, he reached out and squeezed Castiel's arm. "Just… Do what feels good. What you're ready for. Not that Dean would ever push you into anything." He snorted and shook his head. "Boy practically worships you."
Castiel flushed. The feeling was mutual.
"Wait." Castiel grabbed Dean's leather clad arm before he got into the car. "You need to put this on." He held up a length of black cloth.
"In front of your Dad, Cas? That's too kinky even for me." Dean grinned. Behind him Joe laughed. Castiel secretly thought that his father and Dean got along too well.
Castiel moved to wrap the cloth around Dean's head a little more roughly than he needed to as punishment.
"Ow!" Dean grunted. "I need those eyes." He winced when Castiel tied it tight to prevent peeking.
"Do you want your present or not, jerk?" Sam shoved Dean into the back of the car.
"Shouldn't you both be a little nicer to me? It is my birthday." Dean complained, shifting to sit comfortably and raising a hand to touch the blindfold.
"No peeking." Sam smacked Dean's hand away though he was grinning widely.
Castiel got into the passenger seat of the car. He was deeply excited about Dean's birthday present.
Castiel's talk with Nate had been only mildly embarrassing when compared to the conversation he'd had with Sam just that morning. Though Castiel had not actually said the words 'you need to go out because I want to touch your brother all over', that had been the basic gist of the conversation. Thankfully, though Sam had certainly not wanted to ever hear about his brother's sex life, he'd got the idea and had made arrangements to stay at his friend Leon's house that night.
"We're here." Sam said. He took hold of his brother's wrist and carefully guided him out of the car, making sure he didn't bump his head.
"Can I take this off yet?" Dean asked grumpily.
"Not yet." Castiel took his other hand and led him forwards, around the back of the main auto shop at Bobby's garage to the old shed at the back.
Several of the other employees, including Bobby, followed behind them. All of them liked Dean a lot, and though they didn't know every detail of his situation they knew enough to know that he was the only family Sam had and that he worked hard.
The Impala was parked outside the old shed, to Castiel's eyes it seemed a pretty poor present. The car was a dull, very faded black, covered with dents, with only half its windows and the interiors torn to shreds. But, he knew Dean would love it.
Sam placed Dean precisely where he could see the car from the best angle – the side with the least dents and with windows still intact.
"Ready?" Sam asked, grinning. He was practically hopping with excitement himself.
"Yes. Get this damn blindfold off me!" Dean said, reaching up.
Castiel untied the cloth and quickly whipped it away. He held his breath waiting for Dean's reaction. He felt everyone else on the yard do the same.
Dean blinked for a moment in the winter sunlight. Then he looked at the car for a long moment, as if he couldn't quite believe it was real.
"Holy Shit! Is this mine?" He finally said, turning to Castiel and Sam. His eyes brighter than Castiel had ever seen them before. A glowing, beautiful green that made Castiel's breath shorten.
"Of course!" Sam laughed.
"Happy Birthday." Castiel smiled.
Dean's grin was so wide that it had to be hurting him. He pulled Sam and Castiel into a rib shattering bear hug before bouncing over to the car.
Castiel could hear the laughter of the mechanics, Bobby and his father as Dean wrenched open the hood and the squeaky doors and began inspecting every inch of the Impala that he could now call his own.
"We rule." Sam said through his own smiling face, looking up at Castiel.
"Yeah." Castiel said.
Dean gestured to his work mates and all of them were crowded around the hood of the Impala, pointing out where work had to be done. Dean was standing in the middle of them, still radiating pure joy.
Sam nodded and jogged over to join his brother. Dean wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his knuckles over Sam's head.
Castiel grinned and felt his stomach flutter.
Dean grinned and closed his eyes for a moment before blowing out the candles Castiel and Sam had stuck into an apple pie.
Castiel and Sam cheered and Dean laughed taking the pie from Castiel's hands.
"So, this is my piece. What are you guys having?"
Castiel, Sam and Dean had spent the day having birthday celebrations that Dean had never had before. Of course all Dean could talk about was what he was going to do with the Impala while grinning madly all day. They'd seen a movie of Dean's choice, a fairly decent sci-fi, and eaten pizza with Dean's favourite toppings. Sam and Castiel had picked off most of them before they could deem the pizza edible. They had also thought better than to buy Dean a birthday cake and had instead gone with a birthday apple pie – which Dean seemed most pleased with.
Castiel shook his head and sat back on the sofa beside Dean. Sam threw himself onto Dean's other side and handed his brother a knife to cut the pie with.
He passed Sam his piece on a red and blue patterned plate and they ate in silence for a few moments before Sam gave a small sigh.
"I wish Dad was here for this." He said.
"Yeah." Dean said around a mouthful of apple and pastry. "Me too." He leaned into his little brother. "But, at least I've got you, Sammy." He swallowed and turned to look at Castiel, his green eyes glittering. "And Cas."
Castiel grinned back. He had felt each touch of Dean's hands, each smile, each glance, every chaste kiss so much more acutely.
"OK." Sam stood up. "I'm taking that as my cue to leave."
Dean whipped his head around to look at his brother and said in a hurt tone. "Leave? It's my birthday. You can't leave."
"I'm going to stay over at Leon's and I really don't want to talk to you about why." Sam jogged into his room and picked up his backpack. "Because I've talked about that enough for one day." He looked at Castiel. Castiel flushed. "You can thank me later." Sam pulled on his coat. "Actually, no. Don't." He amended.
"What? Sam wait." Dean stood up as Sam made his way to the door, but Castiel caught hold of Dean's wrist. "Cas?"
Castiel let go only when he heard the front door close.
"Why'd you let him go?" Dean asked, flopping back down to sit next to Castiel, a frown on his face. "I wanted us all together on my birthday." He folded his arms across his chest.
Castiel shook his head, smiling. Dean was just as smart as Castiel, but he could be so slow sometimes. "Dean." He said. "Look around. We are completely alone. Sam won't be back until tomorrow."
Dean paused for a moment and then his eyes lit up. "Well, look at that. We are alone." He grinned at Castiel, hungry and lascivious and immediately moved to kiss Castiel.
Castiel leaned backwards, taking hold of Dean's shoulders to make him follow. Though he needn't have, Dean was more than eager after all the interruptions of the past couple of weeks.
Dean's kisses always started out soft and careful, no matter how enthusiastic he was, he never pressed too hard or too fast, as if he was afraid of pushing Castiel. Just like Nate had said.
Dean tasted like apples, cinnamon, sugar, Castiel's first proper taste of Dean in days and it was sweet. Dean's rough, working fingers brushed his face and neck, tongue licking the back of Castiel's teeth and the roof of his mouth. Urgency thrummed through both of them. It was different this time because they knew there would be no interruptions – Sam would not be back until the morning.
Dean's lips were so soft, but his kisses became long and forceful, his tongue pushing and rolling against Castiel's own, his body pressing down against Castiel – holding him in place. Castiel returned his movements with vigour, pushing his hand under Dean's clothes to get to his warm smooth skin and the lines of his body. He wanted to touch Dean, so he did and gave a surprised but happy moan against Dean's tongue when he felt Dean's erection against his thigh.
Dean's hands shoved at Castiel's jumper and shirt, fingers finding the flat belly, skimming along the waistband of Castiel's pants.
Dean slowly untangled his tongue from Castiel's. "This was totally my birthday wish." He grinned.
"No it wasn't. Keeping Sam was your birthday wish." Castiel said, his hands not pausing in their exploration of Dean's skin.
"This is a very close second." Dean replied, wriggling his fingers into Castiel's pants.
Castiel licked his lips and pushed their bodies together, his hands pressing hard into the muscle of Dean's back. It felt good. So, so good. His own hard cock insistent against Dean's hip. "Can… Can we go to your room?"
Dean grinned, pressing their hips together to hear Castiel gasp. "I'm not sure it'll be more comfortable. My bed sucks." He kissed Castiel once more. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." Castiel smiled back. "I had the most embarrassing conversation of my life this morning with your little brother. You think I'd do that just for some kissing?"
Dean looked at him for a long moment. Dean's breathing was hot on his cheeks, chin and lips. Dean's scent permeated his nose. Dean's body was heavy and hard against his own. Dean was everywhere and Castiel wanted more of him.
Dean kissed him again, tongue teasing for just a moment before he carefully lifted himself off Castiel, holding a hand out.
Castiel followed Dean to his room, fingers twined together. Castiel smiled and bit his swollen bottom lip.
Dean's bed was too small for the two of them really, but there was no way Castiel would have been able to get rid of his family for the night. Or even for an hour or two, there was always someone in.
"Cas?" Dean stepped as close as he could get to Castiel. The difference in their heights was only an inch or so, but still Castiel had to tilt his head to match their lips properly. Dean's fingers brushed Castiel's cheek and jaw, stroking over the shell of his ear.
"I want you." Castiel murmured against Dean's lips.
Dean pulled back, pressing their foreheads together. "I can't believe my luck." Dean laughed and ran his hands over Castiel's shoulders and down his arms, taking hold of his hands. "There has to be a catch." He said.
"There isn't." Castiel said. "I promise." He smiled. There were no nerves. The swirling of his stomach was excitement, anticipation. He felt so warm.
Dean's hands slipped out of his and the two of them separated for just a moment, enough for Dean to remove Castiel's thick blue jumper. Castiel returned the gesture, lifting Dean's long sleeved t-shirt and tossing it to one side. Dean's amulet bounced and then rested in the middle of his bare chest, the bronze almost the same colour as Dean's skin.
Castiel's hands seemed to move of their own accord, touching Dean's tanned, exposed body; the edges of the toned muscles of his stomach and chest, the dark circles of nipples that hardened under his fingers.
Dean was so warm and hard and soft.
"Cas." Dean leaned forward catching Castiel's lips. His thick fingers falling to the buttons of Castiel's shirt, he worked carefully undoing each button, opening the shirt as he went. Dean undressed Castiel as carefully as he had unwrapped the Christmas present Castiel had given him.
Dean's large, rough hands wrapped around Castiel's ribcage as he pulled their bodies close together, pressing skin to skin. The smell of Dean was so much stronger in his small hot bedroom. Castiel pressed his lips along Dean's jaw into the curve of his neck, breathing the scent of him deeply.
His heart pounded quick and heavy in his chest.
Castiel's hands gravitated to the round muscles of Dean's upper arm and the smooth contours of Dean's shoulders. His fingers finding the strength and the softness there, the two sides of Dean's personality that often sat uncomfortably side-by-side and yet so perfectly demonstrated in the lines and curves of his body.
Dean's hands pushed at the waistband of Castiel's trousers, finding the button and tugging it undone. His fingers slid to catch the zip and Castiel pushed their lower bodies together, trapping Dean's hand against his cock, he groaned low in his throat against the skin of Dean's collar.
"That voice." Dean moaned in reply, moving his fingers against the fabric of Castiel's pants, finally finding the zip and pulling it down.
Castiel wasn't sure how he did it, but Dean managed to shove Castiel's pants and underwear to his ankles without separating their bodies at all. Dean's worn, ripped jeans were rough against his hips and thighs and he regretfully removed his body from Dean's, taking a step back – He wanted more skin.
He felt Dean's eyes on him as he stepped out of his clothes. His face was burning, there was no denying it; he was well out of his realm of experience. But, Castiel didn't care. He wasn't scared, or nervous. This was what he wanted, this was what felt good. Castiel's skin was hot and tingling and he wanted Dean to look. There wasn't much of him to look at really. He was thin and though he didn't have muscle like Dean, he wasn't scrawny. He had good shoulders and prominent hips which he liked and hoped Dean would like too.
Dean reached out to smooth a hand over Castiel's stomach and hip, pressing his face into the side of Castiel's, practically panting in Castiel's ear. Dean's hand slid to the small of Castiel's back and over his virtually flat backside, rough fingers stroking circles on Castiel's skin.
Castiel shivered. "Take your clothes off Dean." He said.
Dean's swollen lips shone with Castiel's spit and he licked them and grinned as he tugged at his duvet, pulling it down to the bottom of the bed. He jerked his head towards it, raising an eyebrow and Castiel sat down with a smile, removing his thick winter socks before lying back against Dean's thin pillows. He took a deep breath.
"We're not going to…" Castiel said trailing off. It was hard sometimes for him to know what Dean was thinking and even if Dean was ready, Castiel wasn't quite there.
"No. Not yet." Dean smiled, his green eyes roaming over Castiel's bare flesh. "Although it's tempting."
Castiel grinned his body heating further under Dean's gaze.
Dean undressed quickly, kicking off his jeans and boxers and bending down to take off his socks and when he stood he looked the same and yet so different.
Castiel stared at him without breathing for a long moment. Out of his worn, unfashionable clothes Dean seemed so vulnerable. He was here, in front of Castiel wearing only his amulet, his bracelet and his skin, all his armour was completely gone. Dean's shoulders were broad and narrowed into a thick waist and hips and strong thighs. His face and eyes were open and so, so green and looking at Castiel. Seeing Castiel.
He was so beautiful.
Dean stepped towards the bed, moving to lay over Castiel, pressing their vastly different bodies together, their different but compatible bodies. Dean's hand pushed at Castiel's thigh, opening his legs for Dean to fit between, so every inch of them was touching.
"Dean." Castiel gasped. He had never been this close to another human being before. He had never felt so much of another person before. Everything felt so hot and he knew he was sweating, it would have felt claustrophobic if Castiel hadn't wanted to get even closer, crawl into Dean's skin if he could.
Dean's mouth tugged at Castiel's, sucking at Castiel's bottom lip and Dean reached down to the side of his bed. Castiel heard a clicking and then Dean's hand was on him, slick and cool with lotion. Castiel's hips stuttered up seeking more friction, but Dean removed his hand and instead pressed their bodies together once more, his hips rolling and finding the rhythm of their kisses.
Castiel could taste Dean's moans when they rumbled in a deep timbre through his chest and against Castiel's tongue. Castiel gripped Dean's sides, fingers digging in, seeking out the bones that were hidden beneath skin and sinew, looking for what made Dean who he was.
"Cas." Dean kissed across Castiel's neck, teeth scraping over his collarbone.
A hand reached down to grip Castiel's thigh, to pull him closer as their cocks rubbed together, trapped in the heat between their bodies.
"Cas- Castiel." Dean stuttered a moan and Castiel replied loudly. Hearing Dean's voice, low and rough with want saying his name like that. His full name.
"Say it again." Castiel dragged blunt nails up Dean's back, pulling their mouths back into line.
Dean licked over Castiel's lips and smirked a groan, pressing his hips down hard as he said, "Castiel." His voice low, his pupils blown wide, his grip on Castiel's thigh tightening. "Castiel."
They kissed once more, but lips had little to do with it, it was rough and sloppy and Castiel had to tear his mouth away completely. He was close, fingers digging into Dean's muscle, body pushing up, surrounded completely – Dean's scent, Dean's taste, Dean, Dean, Dean.
Castiel gritted his teeth and threw his head back, his climax pounded through him, leaving him breathless and shaking, the noise of his heartbeat pulsing in his ears. Dean was still above him, his hips pressed against Castiel jerkily, his face so close to Castiel's.
The thin ring of green still visible in Dean's eyes was dark, his face and chest flushed with heat and exertion, one hand still gripping Castiel's thigh while the fingers of the other were buried in Castiel's thick dark hair.
Dean let out a low groan that broke in the middle as he came undone, his hands tightened gripping Castiel's hair almost painfully as his jaw dropped wide, his eyes squeezed shut and he released between their bodies.
Dean held himself above Castiel for a long moment before dropping his full weight. He pressed his face into Castiel's neck and licked idly at the gathered moisture. Castiel slid his arms around Dean fully, his hands seeking out the curves of Dean's spine, the hollow of his back, the slope of his buttocks, his body trembling a little under Dean's.
Dean chuckled quietly. "That was fast." He said.
"I don't care." Castiel replied. His body was heavy and lazy in the aftermath of pleasure and though Dean was heavy Castiel didn't want him to move, not at that moment. Maybe not ever.
Dean nodded into Castiel's skin, fingers slowly stroking through his hair. Only the noise of their breathing could be heard for a slow minute.
"I was… Never really interested in sex, before." Castiel said his voice still lower than usual. Dean shifted onto his elbows so he could look at Castiel properly and Castiel looked up into his flushed, handsome face. "I masturbated liked most boys, but I didn't really think of anyone in particular, sometimes Johnny Depp, or maybe James Dean."
Dean smiled softly and nodded, remembering the poster of James Dean in Castiel's room.
"And I always thought I was OK, I was fine. I didn't go home and cry myself to sleep, or threaten to slit my wrists or anything like that. I was fine." Castiel raised his hand to touch Dean's face, thumb stroking over Dean's swollen lips and chin. "But, since I've met you, I'm not just fine, or OK anymore." His fingers gripped Dean's body tighter. "I'm really happy… And I exist and I know that because… You're here. With me."
Dean kissed him, slow and deep, tongues tangling for long, long moments and when Dean pulled back his smile was small but, achingly real. He took a deep breath and looked down into Castiel's blue eyes. He had dropped all his barriers, all his acting, all his pretending was gone, banished with his clothes – the armour of before.
In this moment he was not afraid of being Dean and of showing that to Castiel.
"I… I never thought I could make someone happy, just by being myself." He said.
Castiel kissed him, soft and chaste. "I'm happy, Dean." He replied.
Dean sighed as though he was relieved, as though he wasn't sure if Castiel was happy with him. But, Castiel had plenty of time to convince Dean otherwise.
Dean pulled a box of tissues out from under his bed, cleaned them both off and yanked the duvet up over both of them. Castiel watched him lazily, happily. Dean laid his head on Castiel's chest and Castiel stroked still somewhat shaky fingers through Dean's short blonde hair and over his shoulders.
"I love you, Cas." Dean said.
"I love you too." Castiel replied.
Castiel kicked his boots into the hall closet and pulled off his gloves. He and Dean had woken that morning wrapped around each other, Dean's face pressed into Castiel's neck, Castiel's legs tangled with Dean's.
Castiel's hand had just been slipping between Dean's thighs when Sam had slammed into the house shouting that he 'did not want to hear any noises' and that they had to stop whatever they were doing.
Castiel was still grinning though. He and Dean had washed and dressed, Castiel was wearing one of Dean's t-shirts under his jumper, and eaten some breakfast which mostly consisted of cereal and left over Birthday Pie. Castiel had to go home shortly after breakfast before his parents began to realise where he was.
Dean had kissed him lingeringly at the door. Castiel could still taste cinnamon.
He hung up his coat and wandered into the kitchen where he could hear voices, Gabriel and Michael or perhaps Lucifer. Castiel wasn't even thinking about how Lucifer probably still wasn't speaking to him because his mind was too busy reliving the night before.
"Well, look who it is." Gabriel said his eyes glittering. "You dirty stop-out."
"Morning." Castiel replied he was grinning like an idiot.
"Only just." Michael said, he was standing beside Gabriel and they shared a mischievous look.
Castiel opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice, when he turned back to his brothers they were both grinning horribly at him.
"What?" He asked warily, his own smile shrinking.
"You're not a virgin anymore." Gabriel stated. "I can tell. You're too happy."
"What?" Castiel's eyes widened and he almost dropped the carton of juice. He really hated being the youngest.
"You have brought shame upon our family Cas." Gabriel continued his face the picture of disappointed seriousness.
"We may have to kill Dean, Gabriel." Michael said with an equally serious face. "He has deflowered our beloved littlest brother."
"You two are assholes." Castiel said pouring juice into a cup, vowing to ignore them.
"Hmmm, I don't think there was full penetration Mikey. Cas seems to be walking just fine." Gabriel said.
"I hate you!" Castiel shouted as he left the room as quickly as he could. He could hear his brothers' laughter all the way up the stairs.
What the hell was wrong with his family?
Castiel closed his bedroom door and leaned back against it, grinning.
Dean sighed and stood up straight. He couldn't find anything wrong with this stupid car, it must've been some electrical bullshit he had missed, but honestly he couldn't concentrate.
Cas was coming home today.
Dean hadn't seen him for almost three weeks; Cas had been snowed under with assignments and hadn't been able to make it home. Usually Dean would see Cas at least once a week, his college wasn't too far away after all and it was easy for either of them to make the trip. Especially now Dean didn't have to fit his work around school, he could work during the week and take weekends off. There was only he and Sam to feed and clothe, though recently Sam had been eating him out of the house. Dean was almost certain, to his annoyance, that Sam was going to be taller than him.
Dean frowned and wiped his dirty hands on the tattered, but clean, cloth in his pocket. He dropped down onto the trolley and slid under the car. Stupid Mercedes.
Dean had been worried about Cas going to college. They had spent all summer together, painting and fixing up the house, eating a huge amount of ice cream and having a lot of very good sex. He had been kind of terrified that Cas would meet some smart college guy and forget that Dean loved him. But, Castiel had gone to college and called Dean every night without fail.
That wasn't to say that Cas didn't have college friends, because he did and Dean hated every single one of them – as was his right as non-college boyfriend. He especially hated Balthazar, the charming, limey douche. But so far Cas had never forgot about Dean.
Dean was very glad of that, because he honestly didn't think anyone else could look at him and see his inability to hold his family together, to stop his father from leaving and through all his acting and lies and still love him the way Cas did.
There was no one else for Dean but Cas.
It had been something of a surprise for Dean to find that Cas was kind of an animal in the sack and Dean had the scars now to prove it. Cas always wanted more, always wanted everything that Dean was and Dean was more than happy to give it.
Dean had never known that it could feel so good to be seen. His father had always told him never to show himself, that if he was to be himself he would only be providing a weakness to be exploited by others. But Cas didn't see weakness, Dean wasn't entirely sure what Cas saw in him, only that Cas seemed to like it. To love Dean. Cas had never pretended to be anything other than himself. It was kind of inspirational. Dean would never say any of this out loud of course, except to Cas in the dark of a bedroom when they were both sweaty and sated and maybe a little pleasure drunk.
And now he had the stirrings of a boner at work.
Dean's life sucked. He hadn't touched Cas in weeks, it was no wonder he was frustrated and turned on at every little thing. A hand was no replacement for a Castiel.
He reached down to push on his crotch and hoped his overalls were loose enough to hide everything.
"Thinking about me?" A gravel voice asked above him.
Dean almost smashed his head on the Mercedes' oil sump.
"Cas?" Dean pushed himself out from under the car and found himself looking up at Cas from between his legs. It was one of Dean's favourite positions.
"Hello Dean." Cas smiled and held a hand out to him.
Dean took Cas' hand and pulled himself up, immediately tugging Cas in for a kiss.
Dean's fellow mechanics wolf-whistled.
It felt so good to have Cas' lips against his again. It had been too long; Dean was not a patient man. He delved his tongue into Cas' mouth, searching for the taste of him. Tongues meeting and rolling, Cas tasted like citrus. Cas' hands moved to grip Dean's arms and shoulders like they always did. Cas was obsessed with pressing his fingers into the muscles there. Dean liked it.
"Hey!" Bobby shouted from behind them. "You wanna take that somewhere else? Idjits."
Dean grinned as he pulled back, Cas was smiling at him.
"Does that mean I can go home?" Dean called back. Cas was wearing a white shirt and dark jeans, it made his skin look pale and his eyes jump out… There were whole worlds in Cas' eyes; eyes that could see right through Dean.
"No. You can take a long lunch though." Bobby replied with a smile.
"Thanks." Dean grinned and took hold of Cas' hand. "Let's go have sex now." He said.
"Dean!" Cas laughed, but allowed Dean to lead him over to his car. It was a blue Toyota Celica that Uncle Max had given him as a graduation present, it was almost twenty years old, but a still a decent car – not as good as an Impala, but then what was?
Dean had been working on the Impala periodically and though there was still a long way to go before she was cherry, she was still a thing of beauty.
"What? I want sex. With you. Now. Let's go do it." Dean tugged Castiel's hand to make him walk faster to the car. "God, I can't wait to get you out of those clothes."
"Dean, I want you too. But, I have something to show you." Cas said.
"Well alright, but can't you show me while we make sweet, sweet love?" Dean pouted and got into the passenger seat of the car.
Cas grinned and sat down behind the steering wheel. "I think Lucifer has finally forgiven me. He sent me this." He sounded very happy at this and Dean couldn't blame him. Lucifer had held this grudge for over a year. Dean had been more than willing to kick his ass, but Lucifer was kind of big and just a little terrifying, so Dean had settled with glaring at him whenever he saw him.
Cas reached over the back of his seat and passed a squashy package into Dean's hands.
Dean opened the package and pulled out what was inside. A sheet of paper was wrapped around a football jersey.
On the paper Lucifer had written, in very girlish handwriting: 'Sorry, littlest brother. I hope you like it!'
Dean frowned in confusion and unfolded the jersey. It had Lucifer's team logo on the front and written on the back was: 'LUCIFER 666'. Dean chuckled. He still thought Lucifer was a dick, but at least he had finally taken his head out of his ass and apologised. It wasn't like Cas had outed him on purpose.
"He's number 66 on the pitch, but still. Pretty cool." Cas grinned clearly pleased this particular family hiccup was over with and they could get back to being brothers again.
Dean nodded. Cas was gorgeous when he smiled. "I guess so." He said resigning himself to having to wait for Cas' naked body.
He folded the jersey back into the packet and tossed it on the backseat while Cas started the car and backed out of the garage forecourt.
"I missed you." Dean said.
"I missed you too." Cas replied.
Dean grinned. "So. How's college, smart guy?" He asked, though if he heard the name Balthazar he was calling a screeching halt to the conversation.
"Good. Lots of assignments. Michael told me he got hardly any work in his first year, the liar." Cas sighed. "And you're just as smart as I am Dean."
"I barely graduated, Cas." Dean said and it was true. The only reason he had graduated was because Cas and Sam – Sam! – had started doing his homework for him.
"Only because you had to work." Cas said, he reached over and gripped Dean's thigh, squeezing. "You could've gone to college."
"No I couldn't." Dean said. His world was constrained to his responsibilities; he had to work, he had to look after Sam.
He was not Sam's brother anymore, for all intents and purposes he was Sam's father. It was legal and everything. He looked over at Cas and Cas glanced back at him. Cas understood this.
"But I… I wanted to." Dean admitted and he had wanted to. Maybe when Sam was grown up and at college himself, then Dean could go.
"I know." Cas said.
"If only to stop other guys stealing you away from me." Dean grinned, though it was one of his very real fears.
Cas chuckled disbelievingly. He could still be so naïve about himself sometimes.
Cas was more worldly these days, his social skills were somewhat better, he had met so many new people and done so many new things. But, Dean supposed that was what college was about. Opening the horizons high school always managed to keep so narrowed. Cas had told Dean everything and though Dean was, of course, happy for Cas and interested in all the things Cas did, he was terrified that Cas would one day leave him behind. Just as he was terrified that Cas was going to find that one of these worldly boys was a better choice than Dean the poor mechanic.
It didn't matter how many phone calls Cas made to him, or how often they saw each other, Dean knew these fears would never go away.
He had always known that Cas was too good for him.
"You have no idea how hot you are, do you?" Dean said. "You missed the turning for my place." He pointed out.
"We're not going to your place. No one's in at my house." Cas gave a twitchy smirk.
"Seriously?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it in a bed that's actually made for two." Between Dean's bed at home and Cas' dorm bed Dean wasn't sure that they'd ever slept in a bed that was big enough for both of them.
"You'd better." Cas said. "I really missed you." The hand Cas still had resting on Dean's thigh shifted up towards his crotch, fingers pressing against the seam of his overalls.
Dean's heart rate sped up.
It seemed to take forever to get to Cas' place with the heat of Cas' hand seeping through his clothes, but finally Cas pulled into the driveway and shut off the engine.
Dean pulled off his boots in the silent hallway and grinned, wrapping an arm around Cas and pressing his crotch to Cas' ass.
"So, where is everyone?" Dean asked nonchalantly, pushing a hand under Cas' shirt to get to the pale skin of his stomach.
"Mom and Dad are working and Gabriel's with Lila." Cas replied leaning back into Dean.
"How did Gabriel end up with a girl that hot?" Dean said dropping his lips to kiss the skin the collar of Cas' shirt didn't cover.
"He's funny." Cas stated. "But, do we have to talk about Gabriel now?" He turned in Dean's hold and looked at him. Dean always felt so naked and exposed when Cas really looked at him.
Dean could never keep a secret from Cas.
"Hell, no." Dean dived in to capture Cas' permanently chapped lips. He had once convinced Cas to use some lip balm to soften them, but it hadn't felt the same afterward. He'd had to talk Cas into throwing it away again.
Dean's favourite way to kiss Cas was to rub his tongue against Cas' teeth, slide their tongues together and suck on Cas' bottom lip – doing that always made Cas shift closer to him, press their bodies together, stroke one of his big hands down Dean's back and grab his ass. Cas had a helluva grip.
"You know I love you, don't you Dean?" Cas said pulling back, but not releasing his grip on Dean's backside. "You know I've never met anyone like you." He kissed Dean quickly but firmly on the mouth. "And I don't think I ever will. You are everything I want."
Dean couldn't stop the flush that burnt his cheeks and ears, Cas always saw right through him and his insecurities. He swallowed and nodded.
"I love you." Dean said. There was so much more he wanted to say, but 'I love you' was all he could manage to get out of his throat.
Dean had never been good at vocalising what he felt but then, Cas had never minded.
Cas nodded, satisfied. He squeezed Dean's ass and then took his hand. "Come on, let's go and make sweet, sweet love." He grinned.
He was only nineteen years old, but he knew that if Cas never left him he would spend his whole life with Cas. He and Cas balanced each other out. Cas over-thought everything and Dean was rash and impulsive. Cas was logical and Dean went with his gut. Cas really liked books and Dean didn't. They were ying and yang, or something like that. Cas wasn't perfect, of course he wasn't. He was flawed; he had issues and problems just like everyone else… And he snored, like really loudly. But, fuck…
Cas was perfect for Dean.