Animeyaoimaster: Okay...I'm sorry so will ya stop with the torches and pitchforks already? Geeze, I'm writing...I'm writing!
Funny Royal Loving
'Ow…my head hurts...'
Yuuri sat up from his uncomfortable spot on the rocky ground and took in his surroundings, coming to the realization that his blond fiancé had disappeared from his side. Thoughts of still being alive after falling from a far height or that he was half naked didn't even register in his mind as he began to panic, thinking the worst of his partner. How was he going to explain this to the king and queen and princes that he had lost his son and younger brother; he was sure it warranted death. Shaking off the horrifying images of his torture before death, Yuuri ran off to search for the other. "Wolfram! Wolfram, where are you? Wolfram!" No reply; Yuuri was getting more worried by the minute. Pulling his shirt on (he finally realized he didn't have it on) he set out further into the wilderness. Unfortunately unbeknownst to the poor black haired man, his fiancé was far from danger. In fact you could say he was enjoying himself...if you didn't know the true facts.
For a while now Wolfram had been searching for food to bring back to Yuuri, unaware that he was getting himself lost more and more. None of that made any difference until the blond finally did find food to bring back. He would be a masochist if he went back as it had taken some long journey to find something eat on an empty stomach so he settled down to eat some. It tasted horrible, way too salty for his taste but he still ate it (he was hungry); surprisingly the result was euphoric and a bit strange. First after he had eaten a few, he had felt pleasurable tingles all over his body then he had felt invisible lips touching his and lastly invisible hands massaging his sensitive parts. Anyone sensible would have immediately wondered what the heck was going on but not Wolfram, he was waiting for this from that day with the dinner incident and now good luck was giving him his wishes. With a little imagination, he could picture Yuuri doing this to him, making his manhood swell even bigger. Invisible hands ran over it, making the blond moan and clutch the earth as if he was about to be lifted off and into space. Who knew a horrible tasting fruit could give you such pleasure afterward? Without knowing it his clothes were thrown away from his imaginative Yuuri and his nipples were being sucked deliciously by the other's imaginary lips.
"Ah...Yuuri! No...Not there...Ah..."
Yuuri froze midway in his brisk walking at the sound of his fiancé's voice, shivering in fright at the sound of agony and suffering in the blonde's yell. Thoughts of horrifying images of how the other was being tortured flashed through his mind, slowing his cautious steps to the direction where the yell was heard. He wondered if he would be able to even save the blond much less not end up in the same situation and even wondered if he was probably too late to save Wolfram. That last thought gave him determination and strength, enabling him to go faster to where his fiancé was. He was going to live. He felt like he was prepared for anything that came in his path; nothing able to stop him from saving the other. Unfortunately he was not prepared for the sweaty, naked form of the blonde's body or for the also equally naked and sweaty body of himself. Wait...what?
"Wolfram, what are you doing?"
Unfortunately that was the worst thing to say at the time as the fake Yuuri looked up, dissolving in an ugly creature as soon as it lost contact with the blond it had been molesting on the ground. It seemed to realize this and ran away, disappearing instantly as soon as it hid behind some green plants. Yuuri sighed in relief at this, calming his heavily beating heart from beating itself out of its protective ribcage. He had nearly a heart attack when the other him had turned into a horrible monster; thinking it would either attack him or turn him into a horrible creature too. Fortunately it did none of those and for which the black haired man was grateful for.
"Nani, what happened?" Wolfram cried out, looking around. The invisible heated touches had stopped without warning and now the blonde's fun was now over. 'Maybe it was really karma...pretending to give me what I want then take it away. Well you won't win; I'll really make Yuuri want me...' He thought, grinning devilishly as he put on his discarded clothes. But not noticing the other Yuuri caused him both a shock and pain as he lost his footing and fell.
'God that hurt...damn you karma...'
"Thank god, we finally made it"
Yuuri cheered mentally and physically as they stepped in view of the famous Marble Falls that was rumored to have soothing waters that could any scar, disease, illness and in rare cases, restore one's virginity which tidbit he would be keeping in case his fiancé decided to try anything on him which was more than a possibility if the looks he were getting were any indication. But that was later and now...now after a tiring journey of almost being raped but still molested by a freaking plant, falling in a pit and accidentally mistaking his said fiancé's hand for his crotch and squeezing it like it was a plush toy, finding himself in the famous cave surrounded by lingerie, falling from a extremely long height that he wasn't sure how he survived and finding his fiancé who was near to sleeping with his clone who he discovered was actually that tricky fruit called Pleasures*and discovering the whole reason for the trip, it now all seemed like a mosquito bite. Sure, that mosquito bite was not only painful but mentally scarring and a close danger to losing his virginity the wrong-est way possible but since they were here, it didn't matter anymore.
That was what the brunette was thinking anyways but his blonde counterpart was thinking something else entirely.
'Alright, all I need is a rope, a dozen cock rings, some handcuffs, a pig, a turkey, a pair of rubber gloves, a sheet, a pillow, some lotion, a few thongs and a body bag in case some man, chick, fly, tree etc interrupts my fiancé-seducing plan' Wolfram thought, mewling darkly as he thought of all the turkey blood would be splattered on his betrothed and how he would 'help' him. Of course, he wouldn't leave him like that for he was not that cruel. No...he would definitely help him lick...um, 'clean' him off. Oh yes, the time of being taken senseless by that utterly cute but awesomely huge and thick bishonen was near. He could practically taste it...
Fortunately both didn't have to wait for the others to arrive to begin their fun-genda*for the others were already there, having long arrived and had been waiting for them before starting theirs which was mostly true as they had been doing *cough* something in their waiting so it was with joy they greeted them as they had been wanting to finally advance and modify their fun. Unfortunately, Yuuri hadn't noticed and hadn't been planning on waiting in the first place and so shot passed them, shedding his clothes in the process and nearly tripping himself. He was so bent on gettinghisrelaxation that it was with horror that he did not hear nor remember the solid warning that Günter had told him before they left and so with a big leap and a splash later, he was in the water.
The realization of that was horrifying, body-paling, eyes-bursting-out-of-your-face-like-rocket-launchers that poor Conrad and Yozak had to snog like crazy in order to calm each other's nervousness(Hey, when ya gotta snog...ya gotta snog) of the now dangerous situation.
Wolfram settled for fighting with his pride for the decision to faint or not faint and the famous-snogging-in-almost-every-chapter couple were too busy to do some sexy snogging because they were trying to find out how they got in each other's clothes instead of worrying over the situation.
Anyways, the result of the extremely lucky or extremely screwed fiancé of Wolfram von Biefield's splash was much worse than the horrifying, body-paling; eyes-bursting-out-of-your-face-like-rocket-launchers for he had gained something a man should not have if he wants to survive in such a world with women who are very protective of their stuff.
He gained an extreme abnormal desire for...
The problem was there wasn't any around except in Wolfram's mini traveling bag at his shoulder that kind of looks like a sword at the moment and so, things got a bit bumpy from there.
"Chocolate, I need chocolate now or I will defeat all of you by just coming at you with my powerful manhood..." Yuuri yelled as his head burst out of the pool, beating his chest like a gorilla and heaving afterwards like he hadn't breathed in years or maybe it was because he had inhaled some water and it was a bit salty. The others would never know as they were too busy suffering from massive blood lost as everyone except the cause and said cause's fiancé got major nosebleeds after remembering the last time they had seen the man's manhood although Conrad and Yozak was having the hardest of times trying not to suffocate as they continued snogging and drinking in all their blood at the same time that it would have been sexy if it wasn't health related in the first place but Wolfram was the most confusing as he was suffering in turmoil over deciding to just eating the chocolate and letting his mouth being eaten, smearing the chocolate on his chest and letting his chest being eaten or smearing it all over and letting his body being eaten...that is if there was enough chocolate and if his silly, bishonen type fiancé would take the bait. After a few minutes and with some help from Yuuri ripping off his bottom half all together, he decided to test how chocolate-crazy the man was over by smearing some on his anus secretly.
The reaction was almost immediate.
Yuuri was on him in a flash, ripping his bottom half off and spinning him around so fast that he was quite certain he went back to the time of the dinosaurs before pouncing right on the innocent chocolate smeared puckered hole and sucking it so sweetly that the blonde barely had time to prepare himself for the impact and nearly chewed off all his jaw in the effort to not scream like bloody Mary in child birth and tell Yuuri to go faster as well as telling him to exchange it for the prize that was not in his pants anymore. Remembering that made the blonde shudder in bliss before stopping with a halt as he suddenly felt nothing happening behind him which confused him greatly as well as angered him with the power of ten thousand bulls. Who told that henachoko to stop molesting him? He was about to shout exactly that when it suddenly died in the process of getting it to his throat from his brain as he felt something ram right into him that was sticky, huge and was totally warm that Wolfram couldn't help moving enthusiastically on as he finally cheered at having his wish come true.
That the gorgeous manhood of his silly, idiotic fiancé that he was no way in love with that he was staring at some feet away was finally inside of...wait, what the hell?
'He stuck chocolate up my ass? How dare he? I don't care if he's cute; I am going to smother him with...with...with this chocolate in my bottom since I have no pillow to smother him with since I lost mine and...and...I really hate you Karma!' He cried, not even bothering to sob yet before pulling the chocolate out of his anus and pointing it like a knife at the now currently squirming Yuuri who was singing about "Chocolate Ass"*in Gwendal's arms while his counterpart was making thereal Marble Falls* appear after flushing the poisoned one down a separate drain, looking excitedly as Günter could as his lover and fiancé threw said squirming, ass singing man into the water with a loud splash. Yozak and Conrad snogged in celebration which meant they didn't stop snogging. Wolfram just gave them weird, slightly jealous looks before snapping his attention back when his fiancé's head broke the surface, looking back to normal as well as confused as to probably why his nether regions seemed to be a bit more on the watery side than usual. His fiancé didn't care a fig, charging angrily right at him before stopping calmly and handing him a bar of chocolate. He received a weird look in return and returned it with a shrug, turning back to collect his torn cloths after Yuuri accepted the offer and munched on it greedily, resisting to smirk evilly at what he'd done and the half giggled half strangled sounds coming from his brothers and their own respectively fiancés. Poor Yuuri hadn't realized that he was not only giving an indirect kiss to his fiancé's bottom that he had molested with said bar but was also eating ass-juice as well as in his chocolate-frenzied state he had shoved it pretty far down.
It was all his fiancé could do without boasting at the probably flabbergasted Karma who was deciding whether to blush or try strangling herself/himself even though he/she was practically immortal. The answer was obvious and she/he was blushing more than a schoolgirl/boy.
After that, things fell into place as the others stripped and joined the poor, oblivious bishonen who was licking his lips after consuming the whole bar.*They relaxed as planned, they teased and chatted with each other as planned although they kept a bit away from Wolfram who was admitting a weird aura and then just before the sun finally went down and the sky was shrouded in darkness with the exception of meteors, comets, stars and if possible, a planet that was probably smaller than Pluto and was actually near enough to Earth to see the games had finally begun...
"Wolfram got anymore of that delicious chocolate? I swear, it tasted better than anything I've ever eaten so could you just pull one out of your ass please, I'll even pay..."
And of course, more half strangled half giggling as well as nose bleeds and near suffocation from everyone even Karma except an oblivious Yuuri and a weird-aura-growing-stronger-now Wolfram.
End of Part 4
Finally I'm done! That took ages!
Don't worry guys; no matter how long it takes this chaptered fic will finish...somehow! ^^
Again, didn't look over anything so I give, you take or press the back button to read something else! Savvy?
Anyways, time for meanings! ^^
1) Pleasures – A fruit designed to give you pleasure beyond your wildest fantasies despite its weird taste by making it almost seem as if the person(s) are actually there, touching, groping etc.
It is a fruit made by the author of this fic which is me! ^^.
2) I got that off of Sonny with a Chance which is a comedy show about a girl that won a contest to be on a comedy show. It's awesome despite it being a bit confusing at the whole idea of it so if you haven't watched it, I recommend you watch it now! ^^
3) "Chocolate Ass" song is based off of the song "Chocolate Rain" which is sung by a black guy with a deep voice on YouTube. If ya haven't heard of him or his song or both then you need to hear the original song on YouTube before understanding this and getting a good laugh too. XDD
4) What? You really think they leave the real one out for people to come and use up and pollute it? Sorry but that's not how it works in Egypt darling –snaps fingers in a attitude way- fail/ XD
5) Just goes to show how much Yuuri just loveseating ass-juice. XDDDD
That's it? Okay...again, please comment and no flames or cursing me out for being late. This isn't my only fic I gotta write ya know! I have others I haven't even put up yet!
Anyways, it's late so…Ja ne! ^^
And please stay tuned for Numero Cinco or in English Number Five or in my crazy slang – You betta watch out for the laughing yaoi-y that is number five-y!
-Waves bye with two fingers up- We are aliens! XDD