A/N: this is a short one-shot, born out of the strange recesses of my mind. It's Darren's PoV, and the scene under the bridge. It took me ages to get this right, so all reviews will be much appreciated :D
It was always you. Never anyone else, not in my entire life. No matter what I said, did, tired to believe... I always knew in my heart that there would never be anyone else. Nothing else mattered when it came to you. It was like the world around just faded away. My life seemed nothing without you; empty and meaningless. But while you lived, I still had the strength to go on.
I still remember the first time I met you. Even all those years ago, at such a young age, I knew you were the only person in this entire world who could make me happy. Friends for so many years, growing closer all the time... It was instantaneous, even involuntary. In no time at all, my life became impossible without you. Nothing else could keep me happy.
And it hurts so much to think of that now. After all... we're supposed to be enemies, you and I.
It wasn't a choice either of us could make. It was a choice made for us. And as you and I both know... Destiny does love a tragedy.
As we grew up, I watched you become stronger, more powerful, more ambitious... more beautiful. It broke my heart to leave you, and it breaks my heart to think of how you see me now – as a traitor. But I could never let on. I could never tell you how I felt – couldn't tell anyone. It was – is – too dangerous. For both of us. But still I kept yearning for what I could never have.
The forbidden fruit I suppose.
Because that's what we always want, isn't it? What we can never have. It's the same for humans, vampires and vampaneze alike. Victims of greed and envy, we desire all that we can't have and all that we must never have. The curse of all sentient beings – want. And I've never stopped wanting you.
Even as you swore to destroy me and all I stood and cared for, my heart refused to accept the brutal reality of the situation and this world we live in. Throughout the war, all of the fighting and death, I still had you in my every thought. Years I've lived with this heartache, keeping my silence. Years of wishing to be with you, and never getting that wish as I wanted it, getting only bitter confrontations and fighting. And still I wouldn't bear to see you annihilated.
How did we get here? How is it that now, in these final moments, I cannot save you? When I would do anything in my power to keep you alive, must I be the one to end you?
My hands are stained with blood – yours and mine, and the blood of countless others. I feel revulsion flood my body, and want nothing more than to just throw myself into the river and let myself be washed away. But I know I will not be allowed to do that. I look at your face, and see the resignation, hurt, betrayal. I see the determination disappear and the pain grow as death nears.
I'm lost without you. I refuse to live without you. And now, I can see only one choice ahead of me.
It hurts me to taunt you, to lie to you, to feed those poisonous thoughts of betrayal that have turned you against me. But I must. How else will you kill me too? I need you to hate me, to resent me, no matter how much it breaks my heart. If you cannot live, then neither can I.
I love you, Steve Leonard, and always have. Nothing will ever change that. Not death, time – not even Des Tiny. We will never be his puppets again.