I DON'T OWN BLEACH

Dedicated to EmpressHimiko. Girl, you are just a terrific person. Believe it! She drew a fantastic Manga panel on DA for this chapter. The link will appear on my profile. I love it! Thank you hun!

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Gin is Seventeen; Yaoi Edit

"In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis."
Quentin Crisp

Chapter 11; Lessons in Waking

White is beautiful, clean and bright it's often equated with purity and things of goodness. However to Ichigo the white wall in front of him is just blank, like it's waiting or even begging for something to splash across it granting it a burst of color; the brightness a sigh of extasy. It never comes, never even after two weeks of silence this white wall in Gin's old bedroom is a vacant reminder of the emptiness.

"I don't need him. He didn't love-" His hand covers his mouth as the words catch in his throat. Yes, this is who he is. This is how his heart chooses to feel.

Gin never said he loved him. And Ichigo wasn't oblivious to this, he just couldn't pull it out of him. Besides, should love be that demanding? He thought, in his clumsy way of loving that Gin would feel the same. Somewhere... is there a sorry broken heart too?

Is hearing nothing better than hearing the truth? No, he went to Urahara's and only was disappointed to find the place strangely empty. Just like his own fucking house.

The orange-headed teacher did the only thing he could do to manage himself and that was to keep going to work, to continue moving on. But everyday he would find himself back in Urahara's basement staring at the blank white wall where Gin vanished into Soul Society. "More white."

Breaking away, he turns his back on the pale wall to grab the red coated paintbrush from the bucket. Trembling inside he holds the dipping brush up to the wall ready for the emotions to dissipate when the boldness of the red blocking out the blankness.

Gin left without waking him up, without a goodbye. He just left... "Get over it. Move on. He isn't-" Again his own throat closes up chocking out the words. What does goodbye mean anyway? It's total bullshit. Gin showed him how he felt with leaving an empty bed that morning, right? No, if Gin came back he would be so happy he'd-Paint drips on his face in two cold globs, "Shit." Dropping the brush back in the thick swirling bucket of paint he dashes into the bathroom to look at his face in the mirror.

Two large red dots begin to run slowly down his face. Ichigo isn't sure what to do anymore. Pulling a towel from the rack on the wall next to him he swipes away the bold color and throws the towel in the trash. It's ruined now, that paint won't come off the white fabric no matter how many times he would wash it. Flicking his amber eyes back to the mirror for a moment he still sees the red on his skin. The flash of lightening temporarily brightens the room, the crackle of thunder resounding in the air. "Another storm is coming."

For the past few weeks the Typhoon season has been pounding the town. The shoten's roof has been leaking and Ichigo patched a few shingles as a temporary band-aid. Deciding to go check on it he leaves the house and runs through the down poor to Urahara's shop. Movement through a window catches his eye and before he opens the door he takes a step back peeking inside.

Through the window, plastered against a wall, is Ishida huffing out a quiet moan as Kisuke's lips travel down the gap of Ishida's open shirt.

"Kisuke, you are ah! Going to fast."

"Nonsense, this is passion~!" The blonde haired man replies sucking at the tender spot of Uryuu's neck. "I missed you. Now be a good boy and tell me you missed me too!"

"I-I didn't miss you!" Ishida grumbles pushing a hand over Kisuke mouth and lifting a finger in the air with his free hand. "We agreed to take this slower, Kisuke." His finger then moves pushing up his glasses.

"I can't help it. Ishida-kun is so cute~!"

"They look nice together." Ichigo says turning back towards the road leading him back home. Mid-step it dawns on Ichigo that if Urahara is back- "Gin..." Everything inside begins to race, his feet, legs, arms all travel to their limit his heart beating quicker with each step.

Within minutes Ichigo is dashing through the house, jumping up the stairs searching for a silver head and pair of eyes the color of the midday sky. "Please... I won't think the worst of you. I won't cry or get mad. Even if you have to leave me, at least give me a goodbye."

Empty bathroom, his bedroom too, the last door is open with a golden light beaming out to light up the hardwood floor. Swallowing a breath his feet move forward on their own guided by a fragile hope. Unable to stop himself his eyes lift to she a shape in the faint glow. There, sitting on the small bed is Gin with a paintbrush in his hand. "W-What are doing, Gin?" That name thunders in his chest, "Say you noticed the way I said it, tell me it matters, Gin."

"I finally figured you out, Ichigo." He says dropping the paintbrush into the can and sliding his hands inside the long sleeves of his shinigami uniform. "It took me awhile. And it helped to be away from you for a bit."

"Figured me out?"

"Everything around you is in it's proper place, it's a neat and tidy world you have here for yourself." Ichimaru closes his eyes and motions toward the wall.

Flicking his eyes over to the wall just behind him he finds a giant red heart painted on the wall. "M-My wall! You!" he starts to yell at how tacky it is but feels a hand slide into his hair. "I'm sorry." Ichigo whispers leaning into Gin's body and breathing in his scent for the first time in two weeks. "I'm so sick of the white walls."

"Yes, I know." Gin replies curling his arms around the trembling form fitting neatly inside the empty spaces. "You need a little color in your life, Ichigo."

"Thank you, Gin." his fingers grip at Gin's robes, the effort, all the pent-up energy finally pours out in it proper place. This whole time, he was so focused on helping Gin, he didn't even think about himself and the suffocation he feels everyday.

"So I've decided to make a mess of you." Curling his fingers around Ichigo's chin he lifts his gaze just enough to see his flustered face. "To make you lean on me."

"I'm so glad. I kept thinking about how you left without saying good-"

"Why would I need to do that?" Gin's lips slip into a smile at the thought of his Ichigo being all torn and missing him. "I told you, I was coming back."

"But- oh... I didn't think-" his lips are suddenly claimed in a warm strong kiss. The anxiety melts into his feet, his mind settling enough for him to utter a soft moan. Shifting his feet closer Ichigo's shoulders relax. Is this what it's like, to be OK, to be happy? Palms slide down his back further soothing him into a blissful warmth. Yes, this is good. He is happy, and the wall behind him is the tackiest bright red heart he has ever seen. But he will never paint over it, never. Gin put it there, and in his own elusive way... that was his 'I love you, too.'

So it'll get better over time. Whatever Soul Society decided... they must have been lenient with Gin's wrongdoings, and Ichigo will never ask. Because he is here, now. With him.

In the morning they will go and rescue Ayano-chan, and a few weeks later Gin will vanish for a day and Ichigo won't panic. He will be alright knowing that he will come back.

And when Gin returns he will have Ayano-chan with him and show her the big tacky heart on the wall.

"This is gonna be your room. And the heart there will protect you."

"It's so pretty~!"

"Parent's aren't supposed to hurt kids." Gin says kneeling down to her level and handing her a small rubber ducky. "So me and Sensei-kun are gonna protect you."

"With the big heart?" Ayano walks up to the wall her eyes large in amazement.

"That's right. We are your parents now." Rising up from the floor he smiles hearing Ichigo call out from the first floor. "We are up here!" Gin replies straightening the small ponytail of hair sticking up on Ayano's head. "Now, Ayano-chan, the way I taught you."

Soon as Ichigo enters the room two arms lift up, "Mommy! We are home!"

Gin waits a split second, for the smile.

"Welcome home, Ayano-chan." Ichigo says bending down to pick her up in his arms.

"There he is... the person I love." Later, he is gonna explode about the mother joke, but Gin doesn't care. Humming a little tune he wonders down the hallway after them. "And... then I will make a mess of him~!"

Gin is Seventeen;Yaoi Edit


Hey all! Here we go with the final chapter! I hope you liked it! This might be my new favorite. I had a wonderful time writing Gin and making a more realistic yaoi fic. Did you like it? Would you like me to continue to write my yaoi this way? Please take time to vote in the poll who you want in the next is 17 yaoi series~! I love you all and I hope my fics bring your day a little warmth =)