This is set in the same universe as Amenable but can be read on its own. THIS IS NOT FLUFFY CRACK! This story is definitely darker than Amenable. And the subtitle of this fic is Return of the Porn. Yes. I have found the sexing! You're welcome.
Beta'd by notboldy50295
WARNING: This story contains potential triggers for dub-con and rape. Read with caution.
Jim hated diplomatic missions. He really, really fucking hated them. It was a rarity in his line of work that gaining mining rights required approval from the other side but he'd been warned of the Talvahn's advanced weapons system. He couldn't just annihilate the population to get what he wanted without risking his ship and any that followed.
No, he'd had to pretend to care about their concerns and wants. He'd had to offer up something that they coveted in order to bring the Talvahn's into the Empire and hopefully open a line of discourse that would lead to the sharing of technology. It was the Empire's desire to gain the Talvahn's trust in order to get their hands on that advanced weapons system and then use it to take over the Talvahn homeworld free and clear.
It was a cunning plan, one Jim would have whole-heartedly approved had he not been on the offering plate. It seemed that his reputation had proceeded him even into this backwater planet and now he'd have to resurrect the old Kirk that had retired when he'd started up with Spock. While he hadn't become the Empire's youngest captain through good looks alone they had played a large part. His looks and his high threshold for pain.
It wasn't his preference, but his ability to become and stay aroused during rough sexual play had garnered him a name for himself and a few key assignments that had shot him up the ladder faster than those less hardy souls who still languished under someone else's command. And the Talvahn's liked it rougher than most. They liked to fight, they liked to hurt and they liked to take. It was no wonder the assignment had landed in his lap.
A few months ago he would have reveled in the opportunity to explore an alien body for the sake of the Empire. He would have spread himself wide and given himself easily to speed up negotiations. Only…things had changed. He had made a promise, had given his word, and he didn't like breaking it on someone else's terms. If he was going to lie and cheat it should be because he wanted to and not because he was ordered to.
But orders were orders and if he'd grown a bit soft under Spock's soothing hands he'd toughen up soon enough. This was what he did, this was who he was. It was just another mission and he'd be damned if he'd let his wants come before his needs.
He had thought it would be all right. He'd beamed down with confidence and swagger, only to break into a panicked sweat as soon as the bedroom door swished shut. All he could think about was a heavy, lean body weighing him down and wide, brown eyes staring at him in wonder. He'd fought. He swung out at the incredibly attractive Talvahn, breaking the alien's nose and dislocating its shoulder before being thrown against a wall hard enough to stun him.
It had been ugly and brutal but he'd apparently lived up to his reputation and managed to gain another win for the Empire, and he was limping back to his quarters battered and bruised but victorious. Well, not limping actually. His back was straight, his gait strong and sure while he displayed the bites and bruises with feigned pride. He couldn't afford to show any sign of weakness if he wanted to survive another day as captain of the Enterprise. He was too sore to protect himself from another attack just now and he knew that soon he wouldn't be able to rely on Spock to watch his back anymore. That thought caused his grin to falter and he braced himself against the sudden grief that swept through him.
He had only to keep up the pretense for another twenty-five feet, and then he could collapse in the sanctuary of his quarters. He could feel trails of blood twining down his legs and knew he'd need medical aid, but that would have to wait until he was stable enough to pull off a believable bravado in front of one of the few people who knew him well enough to call 'bullshit'. A hot shower and a good dose of Saurian Brandy, then he'd be ready to call Bones down for a quick scan.
The door to his cabin came into view and Jim felt a tremor of emotion roll through him. He'd made it. Jim palmed the entrance panel, crossed his threshold and welcomed the cool darkness that engulfed him. The sudden flare of lights startled him and he whipped his head up to see his First Officer sitting behind his desk, his eyes glittering with rage.
"You reek of sex."
Jim had heard that tone of voice before; it was laden with disgust and disappointment. It was the voice Spock used whenever he utilized his agonizer, and it was effective for laying the blame of inflicted pain directly on the subordinate writhing on the ground. Jim bristled at hearing it directed at himself.
"That's 'you reek of sex', sir." Jim turned his back on Spock and crossed into his bedroom to grab his sleepwear. He didn't want to do this now. He had wanted to feel stronger, to be stronger, when whatever it was they had burned to ash.
"Did you enjoy it, sir?"
Jim felt the heat of Spock's hands before he was shoved into the wall, an angry Vulcan pressed against him tight enough to flare his diminishing pain back to life. Jim couldn't stop the sharp gasp from escaping, and when Spock stepped back at the sound, Jim took advantage of the miniscule retreat.
He turned quickly and shoved while hooking a foot behind Spock's knee, sending the Vulcan to the floor.
"Let's get one thing straight, Spock. You don't own me. I will do whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want! I'm not your bitch just because I like your cock."
Spock moved with Vulcan quick reflexes and reared up to grab Jim's shirt, and with a quick tug he had Jim on the ground, pinned underneath his considerable weight. Jim struggled even though he knew it was useless, but he refused to make this easy on either of them. Feeling trapped and spiteful, Jim reared up and bit down on Spock's neck, choking on the taste of blood that filled his mouth. A hand pushed against his face until it was squished between that unyielding pressure and the floor. Warm heat flooded his ear canal as Spock leaned close to growl at him.
"Did you enjoy it?"
Jim huffed out a breath and forced his words out of his squashed mouth.
"Does it matter? I do as I'm told just like every-fucking-body else. Now get the fuck off me, Commander. We're done."
His breaths were ragged and he could feel the hard floor pressed against his tender ass. He closed his eyes against the shot of pain piercing through his tailbone. He felt the pressure ease from his hips and opened his eyes to see Spock's gaze roam over him as he lifted himself off Jim's abused frame, and Spock leveled a narrowed gaze at him before stalking away and out of Jim's quarters without another word. Jim lay there in the wake of the confrontation feeling torn in a way he couldn't remember ever feeling before. He had known Spock wouldn't be able to deal with this aspect of his job. And it was written into his job description. He was owned body and soul by the Empire. It was fucking stupid of him to think for a moment that it had meant anything to give himself freely to Spock.
It meant nothing.
With a hitched breath, he pulled himself off the floor and stumbled into the fresher to wash the filth from his body but not from his soul. Never from his soul. The water burned over his wounds, itching at his skin like a parasite burrowing under his flesh. He watched rivers of red stream down his body to pool around his feet. He waited until the pool lightened to pink before exiting the stall and toweling himself dry. He wrapped the blood-spotted towel around his waist and limped over to where he'd dropped his sleep pants when Spock had grabbed him.
He jerked at the sound of the fresher door hissing open but he couldn't move fast enough and Spock had him face-down on the bed and bare-assed before he could react. A knee digging into his back and a hand pressing against his shoulders kept him pinned despite his struggles.
"Get off me! That's an order, Commander." Jim tried to calm his rapid heart and the cold streak of panic racing through him. He couldn't fuck in his condition. He just couldn't, and his voice became shrill and frantic at the sound of a cap popping open. "Don't fucking touch me!"
He felt the coolness from a bottle settling against his back but bit back his indignation at being used as a shelf when a slick finger entered him and he screamed instead. The burn of the intrusion shot through him. His body shook in shock and sweat dripped down his forehead, stinging his eyes.
"Shhh. Be still, Jim." Spock made quiet soothing noises that were utter bullshit as his finger swept over his torn flesh. Jim heard himself whimper and knew he'd never forgive Spock for this even as that finger bumped his prostate and sent a flicker of pleasure through him to mingle with the pain. "Shhh."
"Don't, Spock. Don't do this."
Jim felt the finger leave him, then pressure from the bottle on his back before that finger returned. Jim sighed at the shift of feeling. The burning pain was retreating and slowly being replaced with cool numbness. A few more swipes within his body and the finger was gone, and Spock was leaning over him to retrieve a disposable wipe from the bedside table.
Jim saw the wipe land on the floor and felt the bottle lift off his back then it too went sailing to the floor. Jim almost smirked at the idea of Spock being anything but completely orderly but then the weight above him shifted and Spock was suddenly straddling him. Jim immediately bucked up to dislodge the Vulcan but was again pressed into the mattress.
"Spock." He wanted to beg, to plead, but that wasn't him. He would endure like he always did, then he'd kill the mother fucker.
"Stop shushing me, you bastard!"
Jim felt a nip at the base of his neck before oiled hands began rubbing sore muscles and tender flesh.
"WhatWhat are you doing?"
"I am treating your wounds."
He didn't really know how to respond to that so Jim just let himself relax as the tension eased out of his body. The oil warmed against his skin, soaking deep into the abused tissue and wrenching a sigh from his lungs. The tingling sting that preceded blessed numbness spoke of a medicinal additive, and Jim sniffed the air, recognizing the scent.
"Did you steal this from sickbay?"
"Yes." Strong hands continued stroking Jim's flesh.
"Bones is going to flip his shit when he finds out." Jim could hear the slur of his words and tried to fight the lethargy stealing over him from Spock's ministrations.
"I do not believe that concerns me in any way. Unless," Spock leaned over to lick a hot stripe across Jim's ear, "Do you plan to confess my crime to the good doctor?"
Jim felt his cock twitch at that lust-roughened voice and the erection pressing against his ass.
"Turn." Spock assisted Jim before settling astride his thighs to begin oiling his front. Jim noticed for the first time that Spock was wearing his meditation robe. And only his meditation robe. The erection he'd felt before was visibly protruding through the enclosure.
"I can't fuck tonight, Spock."
"You really need to stop shushing me." Jim reached up to trace the slash of Spock's raised eyebrow.
"If you do not like it, perhaps you should cease speaking."
Jim harrumphed before doing just that. He shut his eyes to better enjoy the sensation of warm hands caressing him and felt himself begin to drift off again. He was floating on a cloud of bliss and loving every moment of it. This was not how he'd imagined the night ending. When he'd received orders from command he had known that it would mean the end of this thing with Spock because Spock was a possessive bastard and he did not share. It wasn't what Jim wanted but the job came first. It had to or he'd be assassinated and replaced before the next shift rotation. Jim's wants didn't enter the equation.
But he hadn't lost Spock, and he couldn't be anything but grateful for that.
Jim startled back from his cloud at the hot touch of a strong tongue licking the length of his very interested cock. He spread his legs and fisted a hand in soft black hair as that tongue moved lower to flick at his balls.
"Spock." Jim couldn't get anything else out. It felt so good. Spock hummed against his sac and Jim arched off the bed as the sound reverberated up his cock. He wanted Spock to fuck him but the very idea had him clenching to seal off access to his hole. "Baby, I can't. M'sorry. I can't."
Jim watched Spock slither up his body to lay claim to his lips, plundering his mouth with that salt tinged tongue.
"I believe we agreed that you would not speak." Spock bit at Jim's lip to get his point across.
"Shhh." Spock nibbled his way across Jim's jaw and down his neck before suckling at his collarbone, wringing a cry from him.
At the sound of a bottle opening Jim tensed and prepared himself for the pain that would come…but when slick fingers encircled his hard cock, his eyes widened and he looked into lust-blown eyes.
"But. Spock. You. You don't-"
"The cause is sufficient." And with another breath stealing kiss Spock removed his robe and impaled himself onto Jim's cock.
"Oh my God! Spock!"
Spock stilled above him, fully seated, his eyes clenched shut, breathing heavily through his nose. Jim stroked his tense arms and cradled his neck.
"Are you okay?" At Spock's continued silence Jim pulled him down to rest against his chest, running his hands over Spock's trembling back. "You needed preparation. Baby, why didn't you wait for me to prep you?"
Spock turned his face against Jim's neck and breathed deeply for a moment before answering.
"I prepared myself before I returned to your cabin. Unfortunately, it appears that I misjudged the amount of stretching necessary to allow for pain-free penetration."
"Christ. Just. Just lay here a moment." Jim couldn't stop the thrust of his hips at the mental image Spock's words had painted but he quickly stilled himself and just held onto the crazy bastard lying atop him. "I can't believe you. You didn't have to do this."
Jim let Spock pull away enough to meet his eyes but not before darting forward for a quick kiss. Spock's lips twitched an infinitesimal amount before he reached up to cup Jim's face.
"Because I needed to. Because I need you to know that you are mine. Because you do not belong to the Empire. You are mine. And I am yours."
"Don't. Fuck. Don't do this, Spock." Jim closed his eyes to stop the pressure building behind his lids from escaping. To stop his eyes from saying more than he ever could with words.
"It is time, Jim."
"You don't want this. You don't. You won't like what you see." Jim felt the tentative touch of fingers against his face and shuddered at the thought of what was about to happen. He was about to be splayed open, his weaknesses on display for Spock to see and he would be left defenseless. Letting Spock into his mind would be what finally drove the Vulcan away, Jim was sure of it.
"Jim, I already know. I have truths of my own that I desire to share with you. Please allow this."
Jim couldn't refuse that earnest tone and that was just one of the many secrets he hid within himself. He squeezed his eyes closed in refusal. He couldn't do this. Could he?
Jim opened his eyes and that was all the approval Spock needed. Jim unfurled against the gentle presence that was suddenly in his mind. He didn't fight Spock as he delved into his past, absorbing his tragedies and the battles that had shaped him. He'd earned every scar and nightmare and he'd be damned if he felt shame for what he'd had to do to survive and conquer his past. It wasn't until he felt Spock reaching toward those thoughts that pertained to him that Jim began to resist the process.
Jim felt himself shaking as Spock sifted through his thoughts and quaked as Spock uncovered the dirty little secret he had sought. Jim tried to push Spock out of his head, to reclaim his mantle of hard-assed captain, but he was no match against a telepath.
'Jim. Be at ease. It is all right.'
Spock's words whispered through his core and calmed him despite the fact that he had been discovered.
'Jim. See me. Understand.'
He felt a push, a mental nudge before he saw Spock's life spread before him like a banquet. Every moment, every flash of memory filled Jim with unprecedented knowledge of who Spock really was. Those memories turned to Jim and warmth seeped into him, running in streams from Spock to Jim until he understood. Spock's weakness was the same.
Jim blinked up at Spock as the connection dimmed and faded out. Silence reigned in light of this new knowledge until Jim spoke what they both knew to be truth.
"We are so screwed."
Jim could only laugh because they would undoubtedly be the death of each other, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He pulled Spock to him and sucked at those stern lips until they softened and molded to his own. His hips thrust up into the tight heat that encased him and was rewarded with a sharp gasp breathed into his mouth.
Spock sat back with a moan and reached for Jim's hands to steady himself as he began to rock. They moved slowly, hands joined between them, pleasure rippling from their fused bodies. Jim planted his feet and began a slow rhythm that Spock quickly increased, his breaths leaving him in harsh pants as he fucked himself on Jim's cock.
"That's it, baby. Come on. Ride my cock. So gorgeous. So fucking gorgeous."
Jim wanted to remember this. He wished he had set up the Tantalus device for recording because the sight of Spock slamming himself onto his cock, his face flushed from pleasure, mouth open in surprise as his prostate lit up with each stroke, was the epitome of beauty.
"Spock!" Jim gasped as his orgasm ripped through him, his body clenched in exquisite delight as he pulsed into Spock. He watched with quiet fascination as Spock fucked himself once, twice, three more times before climaxing with a cry and collapsing against his chest.
Jim was allowed to enjoy the aftermath for several minutes longer than normal before Spock rolled off him and began cleaning up the mess they'd made. He found he didn't have the energy to complain so he just watched Spock pick up the bottles off the floor and toss the soiled wipes in the trash receptacle. He was mildly surprised when Spock returned to the bed to curl up at his side. He'd never allowed the cuddling to continue past the initial afterglow faded and Jim found himself wrapping his arms around Spock to keep him in place once he settled down comfortably.
He was aware that they needed to have a discussion but he didn't want to disrupt the quiet peace that had settled around them. It was a rarity in his life and he wanted to enjoy it for as long as he could…but it wasn't long enough. Spock shifted to look down at Jim with a stern expression and shot the peace to hell by opening his mouth.
"I wish to inform you that you are no longer allowed to 'do whatever the fuck you want whenever the fuck you want'. Sir."
"Now just wait a God damned minute." Jim took a breath to reclaim the flash of anger that was dispelled momentarily by Spock's quoting him and that sassy, disrespectful 'sir'. "I'm still the captain and I don't take orders from you."
"As of now, you most certainly do. I will not have you going to others' beds without prior knowledge."
"I will follow the orders of the Empire! Who the fuck do you think you are?" Jim tried to extract himself from the bed but was stopped by Spock moving to lie atop him. That maneuver was getting really fucking old.
"Jim. I did not suggest that you defy orders."
"Then what the hell are you saying?" Jim couldn't keep the exasperation out of his voice.
"Only that you inform me before undertaking such missions in the future."
Jim eyeballed his captor warily.
"So what, you get a kick out of thinking about me getting worked over by someone else's cock? By the thought of me sinking deep into another's pussy?"
"No. It disturbs me greatly, as you well know. I will not, however, have you completing your duty unprepared. I am able to condition your mind beforehand in a manner that will lessen the strain."
"Spock." Jim reached up to card his fingers through Spock's mussed hair. "The pain is kinda the point."
"And you will react as though you are experiencing torture, but I will not have you feel it. I cannot allow that."
"Okay." It was a simple enough request, one Jim was happy to oblige.
"Jesus." Jim huffed a laugh. "What else?"
"You will allow me to tend to you when you return."
"Done." Jim sealed the deal with a kiss that was gentler than he'd like to admit. He turned when Spock shifted his body so his lover could curl around him protectively. His lover. Jim smiled as he ordered the lights off and snuggled into the arms holding him.
"I will wake you two hours before alpha shift to ensure you have enough time to visit sickbay and have Dr. McCoy utilize the dermal regenerator."
He had to roll his eyes at Spock's sudden bossy behavior, and he hoped that he could handle this sudden change.
"Sure thing. And I'll be sure to let him know where his missing supplies are while I'm there." And if Jim shrieked when Spock bit him it was okay. It was just another secret they shared and they weren't telling.