Authors Notes: This was a request from Juliedoo who gave me my 50th review across all my stories. Hopefully, she will approve of this story - personally, I think it's quite funny, as all good omake are. Anyway, on with the omake.
Disclaimer: Bleach and all characters pertaining to it are the intellectual property of Tite Kubo.
With that sentence, all manner of madness was unleashed.
"Today, we'll be featuring Nelliel and Starrk." A small child, wearing a robe of green stood to my left.
"Itsygo! Where are you?" Her reedy voice carried through the room. Meanwhile...
"..." Starrk was flat on his back, sleeping as per usual.
What is Captain Aizen thinking? Putting these two together?
"So, Starrk?" I began, giving him a little nudge with my foot.
"Itsygo?" Nelliel was wandering about, searching for this Itsygo character. "Itsygo, where did you go?"
It's okay, Gin. No need for concern. Just get through the next minute and then they're out of here.
"Starrk?" I gave a firm kick to him, jolting him awake. He turned his eyes on me, gazing through the cloud of sleep.
"What do you want?" he asked, his voice heavy with tiredness – weird, considering how much he slept.
"I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to speak with our other guest," I asked sweetly.
"Can't be bothered," he said, turning onto his side.
Bending down, I spoke quietly.
"It's for Lord Aizen..." Quick as a shot, he was up on his feet.
"Lilynette," he called. "We have to converse with...this child," he said disdainfully.
"I understand, Starrk." A child-like girl appeared at Starrk's side. "Don't fall asleep again, or you know what will happen," she threatened, before stumbling forward to speak with Nelliel.
"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, before returning to the ground, lying on his back and yawning widely.
They're a bunch of idiots.
The screen behind me flickered into life, revealing the Ryoka boy who Captain Aizen was so interested in.
"Itsygo!" Nelliel screeched, startling Lilynette. She bounded toward the image, her nose streaming. "Itsygo! Itsygo!"
Looking surprised, he pushed more of his face onto the screen.
"Nel?" he queried. "What are you doing there?" he asked concernedly.
"I was looking for Pesche and Dondochakka, but I couldn't find them," she answered, while sniffling. His face upturned into a smile.
"Wait right there," he said, his voice exuding confidence. "I'll be there in a moment." No sooner were these words spoken, then he appeared in a blur of speed, his black robes billowing out behind him. "Hey, Nel," he said, only just taking in the other people in the room – myself, Starrk, Lilynette. "Umm," he started.
"Ichigo Kurosaki," Lilynette said excitedly, before running to where Starrk had once again fallen asleep. Pulling back her arm, she smashed it into his face, making him lift his head, staring blearily at her.
"What was that for, Lilynette?" he asked, seemingly confused.
"Ichigo Kurosaki is here," she said, looking over her shoulder at Ichigo, who was shaking his head in disbelief. "Come on, Starrk! We can repay Lord Aizen by defeating Ichigo Kurosaki, so get up!" She smacked him in the face again for good measure, before he got to his feet.
"Very well then. Resurrección, Los Lobos." The girl joined with Starrk, granting him use of the full extent of his powers. His guns glinted in the dim light, and his eyes were fixed on Ichigo. "Come, Ichigo Kurosaki, let us fight." Ichigo paled as he looked at the Espada across from him. "Umm," he started again before a crash resounded, echoing through the room as shards of stone and dust billowed in from an unknown source. Squinting through the dust, Kenpachi Zaraki and Byakuya Kuchiki stood side by side, their zanpakutō already in their hands.
"Hey, Ichigo!" Kenpachi growled. "Looks like you could use some help."
"Ichigo Kurosaki, do not mistake this as me showing you special treatment. I am merely making sure that I do not suffer Rukia's wrath for allowing you to perish.," the noble captain intoned, before dropping his sword into the ground. "Bankai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."
Ichigo took one more look at the crowd assembled before using Shunpo to escape the room, closely pursued by Starrk, already firing his guns and Byakuya.
"Ichigo! After this is over, you're gonna fight me, you bastard!" Kenpachi grumbled as he swung his zanpakutō, creating another dust cloud before racing after Starrk and Ichigo. Nelliel stood by in awe, before ramming her hand down her throat. "I need to play with my throat penis," she stated before an inordinate amount of saliva drooled from her mouth and her face lit up with a mischievous grin.
"Did they not realise that the camera wasn't even rolling?" I asked of no-one in particular.