The Lost Episode of Bear in the Big Blue House



The camera moved close to the door of the Big Blue House. The door flung open to reveal Bear, who looked angry.

"I thought I told you little kids to stay away from my house! Well, they're paying me to entertain you. So come on in," he growled.

He lumbered inside and the camera followed. Bear grabbed the camera and inhaled.

"Eww! You have little kid stink! Stand 5 feet away from me all the time or I'll eat your face," he said in disgust.

Giggling and laughing drifted in from the living room. Bear growled and walked in to find Ojo and Tutter playing some moronic pretend game with condoms and paper bags.

"Damnit, why do you have to be *bleep* *bleep* *bleep* your damn *bleep* games?" Bear yelled.

"Gee Bear, I wish you wouldn't swear so much," Tutter said.

In anger, Bear pounced on the little mouse and began clawing at him.

"Bear! Mauling Tutter is wrong!" Ojo said.

"YOU WANT SOMA THIS?!" Bear snarled and Ojo slunk away.

Bear stood up, his teeth covered in puppet fuzz.

"Dammit, now I need a drink."

He went to the kitchen and drank about 10 beers. Then Treelo, Pip, and Pop came in.

"Bear, we need a ball. We were playing and ours popped," they whined.

Bear reached out and ripped Treelo's head off. He gave it to Pip and Pop, who left the room crying.

"Damn otters. Some day I'm gonna kill them," Bear said.

Night came soon. Bear hauled himself up to the to his balcony and met Luna.

"Bear, how was your day in the Big Blue-" Luna began.

"Aw, shove it asswipe," Bear growled.

Luna floated away, sick of Bear.

Bear walked back into the attic and faced the camera.

"I swear if you little brats tell one worda what happened here, I'll hunt you all down. I'll eat you and everyone you care about! AHHHHH!"

He grabbed the camera and began biting and ripping at it. Two guys from animal control came in and shot a tranquilzer into Bear's back, who slumped over.

"I'll kill you to..." he said, before passing out and being wrapped into a cargo net and hauled away to the center for criminally insane animals and puppets.

THE END (little kids cheer)