Thinking about U
Summary: She wasn't sure about a lot of things. How it started, when it became all she thought about, or how her best friend felt about her. femslash...Bella/Zendaya fic.
A/N: So once again, we have a fic inspired by Twitter, haha. I guess I read too much into things, but hey, if I get a fic out of it, all's well.
Sometimes she wished she could stop it, turn it off, the fact that the beautiful girl was all she could think about. The fluttering in her chest, the lack of it when she wasn't there, the way that no matter how much she tried, she couldn't keep her eyes off her when they were on set. But she couldn't turn it off, and she knew that. So she accepted it as part of herself. When they were in Paris, she'd thought that maybe, just maybe the one she loved felt the same. But she didn't want to hurt, so she forced herself to let that hope go, write it off as the atmosphere of the city.
They'd went and got matching Louis purses, and Bella bought them charms to attach, maybe to remind herself of the way it felt to be in that city with her. They'd performed with the cast and Selena Gomez, and Zendaya gushed over her in her polite and professional way. She was so jealous, despite the fact that she knew her best friend was just a huge fan, as was she. She just looked over them both, pain too evident in mocha eyes. Selena was as kind as ever, and gave her a sympathetic smile, seeming to see immediately what was happening between them.
They were together almost everyday, and Bella found herself accepting the fact that this would be the extent of their lives together and nothing more. She and Zendaya were so comfortable together and so close all the time. It seemed that whenever they were sitting they were touching each other, she would never really initiate this Daya would, and so once again, her heart was loose on her sleeve and her hopes were flying. So they sat at Zendaya's house, watching Princess Protection Program together for the 9th time, her legs over her best friends lap while they held onto each other she realized that though all of this was normal for the two of them, it wasn't for other best friends. Relying on this to steady her logic, she breathed deep before speaking.
"How do you feel about people who are... gay?"
"Huh? That's got to be the funniest question you've ever asked me."
Bella shifted uncomfortably, though she was ridiculously comfortable. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, they're just people like everyone else, why would I have an opinion on that?"
"That kind of was an opinion, but okay, I see your point."
"What brought that question on anyway?" Zendaya asked, one of those famous eyebrows lifted in curiosity.
Bella was uncomfortable now. "Um...the movie. Carter and Rosie are totally in love."
Zendaya looked away. "No they're... not, what makes you say that?"
"The way that Carter went to all the trouble of setting everything up to be mistaken for Rosie so the general wouldn't take her. She risked her life for her."
"Yea, because they were best friends by that point, she was just trying to save her friend."
Bella shook her head no. "Think about it, what if they'd gotten back to Costa Luna, and they found out she wasn't Rosie. They would've literally killed her."
The two were now facing each other as they debated over the movie, and Zendaya pointed at the scene they were debating. "Best friends do that kind of stuff for each other. Wouldn't you risk your life to save me?"
"Yea... but that's different."
"How is that different? We're best friends, and so are they."
"Because I love you."
"Yea, I love you too. That's my point."
"No, Daya, you don't understand." Bella said, standing, knowing that she would have to leave, that Z would tell her to get out.
Zendaya looked up at her best friend as she stood, confused. "What do you mean?"
"I... love you like Carter... loves Rosie." She took another step back
Zendaya's eyebrows were at work again, scrunching together this time. "Belz, what are you saying?"
"You know what I'm saying...please don't make this worse by pretending that you don't, by making me say it again." She took another step back
Searching mocha eyes found nothing but pain."How could you keep that from me?"
She got no answer.
"Bella, sit down please."
Salt-stung eyes shook along with the rest of Bella's head. "I can't. You'll just push me away, say that you're sorry, that you wish...I can't."
The taller of the two shook her head. "This isn't right."
Zendaya stood, becoming angry. "Ugh...You're so stupid! So selfish! Did you ever, even once think about me beyond what you felt, or what you wanted? What did you think all of this was? All the touching, all the time together, watching this movie? Of course they're in love, Bella! God..." She sat down, calming herself while watching a dumbfounded Bella process everything just said. She was taking far too long.
Zendaya stood again, grabbing Bella's hand and pulling her close, so close...before kissing her and making things simple again.
She realized now, she had been so stupid, so selfish. This kiss said everything in the simplist way. I love you, stupid. I want you. I need you. All of it, for so long...They separated, and all she could taste was coconut.
Bella felt one hand in her hair and one on her hip, keeping her close.
"I love you stupid."
"I love you too, Z."
A/N: So, yea, that was fun. I was intending to write a Cece/Rocky fic, but this just kind of came out and you know, no point in damming up the flood.