Kuran Kaname was not his first lover.

He'd told the human about his past lover, a female hybrid, daughter of a spirit fox and a human. He'd enlightened him how he met her, how he used to cherish the love she gave him, how being with her made everything perfect. The Kitsune's mind filled with such loving and yearning thoughts when he talked about his deceased lover.

Every little bit piece memories of her that Zero shared, Kaname held Zero's cold hand, he envied her yet at the same time, he was happy for the female hybrid. She had Zero in her life before she died as a victim in a bloody and massacre war. It distraught the human sometimes, how the girl fell in love with the Kitsune and why Zero would let himself fall in love with her.

He was jealous, yes. He wanted Zero's first and last love to be him. But that was being selfish wasn't it?

Zero... Zero said she had beautiful brown eyes -rosy cheeks - her auburn, long hair passed her waist - high cheekbones - and kissable plump lips.

Kaname closed his eyes.

If she, Zero's past lover were a male, she'd look just like him.

The human couldn't help but to feel that somehow, silently, Zero chose him, Zero was in love with him because he looked like her. He looked like someone Zero used to love dearly. What if all along, he was just a replacement?

He wanted to ask the silver fox, but whenever he opened his mouth to utter the words, it was swallowed by the way Zero stared affectionately at him and the way Zero would hold him tightly.

Maybe it was just him, a human with doubts. Perhaps Zero really loved him for who he was. He just had to accept the fact that Zero still lived in the past.

Shimmying down, Kaname spared gentle kisses to Zero's neck. The fox sat between his legs, his hands draped around Zero's thin figure and his head rested on his lover's shoulder.

"You should see your face when the fireworks exploded in the sky, it was priceless." Kaname's body trembled by the short laughter.

"Shut up. How should I know it was a harmless lights and not a-" Zero stiffened. He almost said he cared for the human in his face, knowing Kaname; the latter would tease him until the end of the day. It was not his way of showing his affection openly to someone. Yeah, he was shocked when the fireworks suddenly appeared out of nowhere and just...exploded. He thought it could be a...monster.

He never knew the existence of fireworks until tonight. Humans and their creations, it surprised him to no end.

"Ahh...I'm happy to know you're worried about me."

"I never said that."

"Of course." Kaname sniggered.

Zero grimaced and soon pouted when his lover was being awfully quiet."Kaname?"

An incoherent cough startled the Kitsune, he spun around to face the human and found Kaname clasped his hand on his mouth. His face puckered into a pain look as Kaname tried to regain his breath.

No. Zero's eyes widened in fear.

Kaname withdrew his hand slowly, a trickle of blood on his palm. But why? He didn't show any sign of sickness.

"Zero, I-...Zero?"

The Kitsune cried.

Rain hammered down to the earth. The day after that, Zero was not the same anymore. He was distant and quiet.

As days went by, the Kitsune he loved was getting out of his reach.


Zero fidgeted under the conspicuous gaze of the taller man, his eyes trailed up and down to observe the stranger stood idly before him. Kaname didn't like the way the boy threw his timid gaze at everywhere but him, no, he didn't like everything about the boy. The way he played his fingers to keep himself distracted, the way he trembled like Kaname was the one who would attack him and lastly, and the way he held Yuki's hand.

Kaname closed the door behind the mysterious boy; he didn't blink and keep staring at him suspiciously. Once Yuki dropped her bag on the couch, she turned around to face Zero. "Wait here." She made a 'wait' gesture with her hands and ran to Kaname's bedroom, ignoring her lover when she scrambled for a towel and a new pair of clean clothes.

Zero went rigid. Kaname hadn't spoke a word since he arrived. He just stared, maybe even glared at him as if he was someone who planned to steal Yuki away- it finally hit the now human boy. He spun to look at Kaname, yet his eyes still on the floor.

"I- I have no bad intention toward Yuki." Zero weakly murmured.

"And you better keep it that way." He could feel the brunette's stern glare before he disappeared into the same room Yuki went to.

The snow-haired exhaled laboriously and pulled his hair harshly. It didn't alleviate his whole problem, but it did helped a little.

He was in a deep mess. This was not how he planned to see Kaname again and somehow he never told Ruka about it, Zero wasn't planning to meet Kaname at all now that he was very much happy with Yuki. Kaname's constant and ridiculous jealousy when he held Yuki's hand, it was a proof he truly loved that human girl.

So far, being human sucks.

'It's better than death, you moron!'

Zero cringed, Ruka's telepathy voice drummed inside his head. How the heck the Nogitsune did that?


'Don't 'Ruka' me! Are you sure that's your human? He doesn't look like he has a sex drive...'

"Ruka..." It took minutes to shut her up, but acquiescence in the end, when Zero mentioned he wouldn't do anything that could harm his for now fragile state. If he could, Zero would ask her how she managed to sneak inside his head. Ruka had many great abilities, but he hadn't knew this was one of them. She kept many secrets more than he did and yet she dared to accuse him of being secretive.

Sighing, Zero patted the couch's cushion; he looked to the direction of Kaname's room before he slowly sat down on the couch. Very soft...interesting. He took the liberty to lie down and brought the cream pillow to his face.

It smelt of Kaname... his scent was all over this place and Zero missed it. He longed for it. A sudden noise of something fell on the floor - or someone threw something on the floor made Zero rose and headed toward the room. Boldly, Zero leaned on the door, listening to the low whispers in the room. Judging from the voice, it was Kaname and Yuki...bickering?

"It's not about that Yuki. It's about you, bringing a stranger to my place! Did you take a good look at his feature? There's something wrong with him Yuki! What makes you think he's harmless? He looks different and I don't like his eyes, the way he stares at me and you!"

Zero bit his lips at the way Kaname's voice resonated. He sounded desperate to get rid of something he couldn't understand. Maybe it was a mistake to come here.

He heard the creaking of a bed, "It doesn't matter what you think Kaname. I-"

"I want him to leave after he finishes cleaning himself." Kaname strained from shouting. He didn't understand it, the moment his eyes met contact with the boy who Yuki brought with her, Kaname felt...scared, defenseless and weak. Like the boy had drained his life. Yet at the same time, he was very familiar. He had to force his body to not take the boy and envelop him in his arms, keeping and protecting this Zero from everything.

It was a foreign feeling and he hated it.

"It's raining again..." Yuki's muffle voice made Kaname look out through the window.

"Yeah...it's raining again."

Outside of the room, Kaname could hear someone weep but chose to ignore it.

Deep inside, Kaname couldn't help but to feel lonely for the very first time when he watched the rain.


Written By Wookie