Definition: an acronym that stands for "made for each other."
Edward and Bella are MFEO.
It's the only way that I can describe the way that I'm feeling…or not feeling, actually. And I welcome it. I welcome it, because numb is so much better than the pain I know is waiting for me when all of this is over. When I'm not surrounded by all of the people in the world that love me…that loved her. When a minister that really didn't know all the wonderful things about her isn't standing before me and speaking words of comfort.
I swallow back the lump in my throat that holds the tears that I can't cry. Not here. Not now.
There is none.
So, I stand here, numb and stoic and feeling nothing. Except that's not the truth. Because even in my current state, there is something – someone – that is able to break through the clouded grey that covers me in the sea of black suits and dresses.
He squeezes my hand that he's been holding and right here, in this moment, he is my comfort. I squeeze back, hoping to offer him the same thing in return. I brace myself before I look down. I briefly wonder if he is crying, knowing he probably is, but also knowing that my heart can't take it right now.
But I have to take it.
My thirty-year-old heart, though broken, is stronger and more equipped to deal with this than his seven-year-old one. So, I take a shaky breath and I look down at my son – our son – and I force myself to look in his wet eyes that are still filled with so many questions.
Questions he hasn't been able to ask.
Questions I still don't know the answers to.
He looks just like her and overcome with emotion, I realize that there is comfort in that.
The people are filtering out now, but we still remain. My sister Rose and her husband Emmett are still standing off to the side. I can't see them, but I know Rose…and I know she's still here. Wanting to help. I feel a slight tugging on my arm and I look back down to Jacob.
"Why did this happen?"
And there it is. The one question that I will never have the answer for. So, I do the only thing I can. I speak in subdued tones and I offer him the words that doctors and friends and family have offered me. And my head understands it…really, it does. But my heart…my heart never will.
"Mommy got sick, Jake. And I don't know why it happened. No one really does. There was nothing anyone could do, buddy. And I know it's not fair. But we can't keep asking why because we'll go crazy."
He looks back out at the cherry wood and the splay of pink roses that covers it and he doesn't look at me. And so I stand there, holding his hand, wondering if he will remember that pink was her favorite color…and knowing that I will never forget.
My name is Edward Cullen and today I'm burying my wife and my son is burying his mother.
And neither of us knows why.
Thank you for reading.
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Marvar: We promise this is the only emo chapter. I don't do angst.
Cosmogirl7481: Nope. She only does RobPatzLowe slash now. And Zefron is somewhere in the corner, watching and jerking off.
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