Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. I do not own any of the Disney characters. No profit is being made from this story.

Author's Notes: Warning now that this is borderline crack, and naturally, just a bit OOC. There are mentions of sex between consenting adults in the last chapter. This was written for the Wizard Love 2011 exchange on LJ for ravyn2k. Hope everyone enjoys! Also, I saw this method used in a fic I read a while back, Liminal (If you get a chance, read it, it's very very good). For the videos, I'm going to put the links in the chapter, and you'll have to copy and paste, then take out the spaces. Happy reading!

When the lights were raised, Hermione stood and stretched. She turned toward the audience and shot sparks from the end of her wand, attracting the attention of the room.

"Thank you for coming, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this week's movie." When she received several enthusiastic nods and grins, she continued. "In honor of the holiday, the Headmistress has given us permission for an extra showing Wednesday evening at the same time as usual. Before you get too excited," she cleared her throat to attract the attention of some of the rowdier younger students, "I will admit the extra showing is a bit, well, girly." Hermione grinned at the sounds of groaning and the sight of Harry shaking his head indulgently.

"But, I do ask you young gentleman to keep an open mind and give it a chance. You might discover something you like." With that said, Hermione stepped down off of her chair, using the Professor's proffered arm for support, pleasantly surprised at the strong muscles she could feel under the soft linen of his shirt. Hermione blushed slightly at the contact and turned away from the man in question as she set about righting the Hall's furniture so that it would be in order in time for the next morning's breakfast. When she was finished, she was surprised to find Snape standing in the doorway, his cloak hung over one arm and his shirt sleeves rolled up.

"I thought everyone had gone to bed," Hermione babbled as she replaced the memory in her head and picked up the pensieve. She was again surprised at how light it was for such a large stone bowl. She found herself looking forward to learning such focused and large featherweight charms.

"I thought I might escort you to the Headmistress' office before I do my patrols," Severus replied as if he himself was surprised to find himself still in the Hall. The two walked to the Head's office in a silence that was unusual in it's comfort. When they reached the stone gargoyle, Hermione was slightly startled when he softly stated the password from just behind her. More than ready for the peace and quiet of her room, Hermione made a quick job of running up the revolving staircase to put the pensieve away and back down again. She was surprised to find the Professor still waiting for her, but quickly hid her surprise behind a yawn.

"I suppose you are tired, Miss Granger?" Hermione nodded slightly as the pair set off toward Gryffindor tower. She spoke her thoughts, her fatigue settling in and blurring the filter between her brain and her mouth.

"Yes, I am," she replied with another yawn, "but I love doing this for the younger students. It's a good way for them to make friends. I remember how lonely I was before I made friends with Harry and Ron."

"Ah, yes, the remainder of the so-called Golden Trio," Snape sneered in response. "You would have been better off without them. You certainly would have been in less trouble."

"Probably," Hermione conceded with a slight grimace, "but I hope my running with the boys did some good. I was able to find you, after all." Hermione gave a pointed glance to the scar on his neck before starting to walk faster. She was brought to a stop by a firm, yet gentle hand on her arm.

"I have already offered my gratitude, Hermione. I'm not sure what else it is that you want from me."

Hermione was slightly taken aback by his use of her given name. It wasn't the first time he'd addressed her so, but the happenstance was rare. She hid her surprise behind a grimace as she replied, "Oh yes, while you were delirious from blood replenishing and pain potions and didn't know who I was. If I recall correctly, once you established your caregiver, you threw a temper tantrum worthy of a child. I'll not have that happen again, Severus."

"Then I must offer my apologies, and ask again. What, exactly, is it you want of me, if not my gratitude? A life debt?"

Hermione gave a harsh laugh as she shook her head at him, and looked up at him, her eyes meeting his as she quietly stated "I want what I've always wanted for you." She broke his gaze and stared at the floor as her cheeks flushed pink. Her shoulders tensed briefly, and she looked up at him, a fierce determination now in her eyes as she stood on her tip toes. For a wild moment Severus thought she might snog him, but she tilted her mouth to his ear and whispered, "I want you to live."

Hermione turned and walked off in the direction of her dormitory, leaving the Professor standing in his shirtsleeves, staring at the spot she'd just occupied, heart pounding in his chest, as if to remind him of his mortal state.

The following Tuesday night, Severus paced his quarters, cursing Minerva six ways from Sunday. A quick floo call had confirmed his suspicion that he and Hagrid were the only employed adults on the castle grounds. He was already aware Hagrid was in the forest hunting Billywigs for Monday's class.

He stopped pacing long enough to pour a shot of what he'd deemed his emergency stash of firewhiskey. This particular stash had been disappearing at an alarming rate since his conversation with Hermione. He couldn't quite place his thumb on when she'd become Hermione to him, but he knew it was before he had to see her in Advance Potions three times a week. Thankfully, the N.E.W.T level classes were designed to be performed mostly solo, and they'd had very little interaction in class. In fact, they'd had little interaction at all this term until he'd had a case of temporary insanity and decided to accompany her back to her dormitory. He flushed slightly as he recalled standing in the corridor gaping like an idiot at thin air for a solid minute, and he threw his firewhiskey into the back of his throat in order to drown the memory of his foolishness.

Severus made his way to his bed, stripping to nothing as he went. He knew the house elves would pick up and launder his clothes in the night. As he lay staring at the ceiling, he ran his hand down his stomach and palmed his cock, picturing a heart-shaped face and honey-brown eyes as he brought himself to completion. He cast a wand-less cleaning charm before drifting off to sleep. Just before giving into the sandman, Severus smiled slightly as he heard Hermione's voice telling him to live.

Across the castle, in the Gryffindor "Eighth Year" quarters, Hermione had the room to herself. She'd initially hoped that her former roommates would return to repeat their seventh year, but she wasn't surprised when they didn't. She didn't blame them for not wanting to return to the location of a hellish year so soon. She used the private space to her advantage, using it as a quiet place to escape from the hectic nature of the common room.

Tonight, she lay on her back in her bed, staring up at the canopy, wondering whether Severus would show up the following night, or simply leave her to watch the younger students on her own. She was more than equal to the task of caretaking, but she found Severus' image invading her thoughts more and more often, especially his eyes. As she pictured those unfathomable black pools, her hand wandered to her breast under her camisole to gently twist and pull at her nipple.

Hermione envisioned his hands running down her sides and across her abdomen as she followed the trail with her own hand, pushing her knickers down as she went. She tossed them in the general direction of the hamper as she bent her knees and spread her legs, giving herself access to her nether region. She dipped her middle finger lightly into her slit, swirling the bit of slippery fluid she found there, using it to lubricate her clit. She rubbed herself off slowly, eyes closed as she pictured Severus, shirtless, hovering above her. She brought herself to a shivering orgasm, and after whispering a mild cleansing charm, she fell asleep to dream of black eyes.

Wednesday evening found Severus pacing the entrance hall, waiting impatiently for the young woman who had overtaken his dreams and fantasies. He was going to speak with her tonight, but he was having a difficult time coming up with a plan of action. Every time he considered meeting her face to face, his throat went dry, his pulse began to race, his thoughts broke into fragments and a feeling of warmth came over him. He hadn't felt any of these things in over a decade. If this is what living felt like, he thought to himself, he could die a happy man.

In reality, it was only a few minutes before Hermione came toward him from the Head's office, carrying the pensieve in front of her carefully. Stepping forward to help, he took the stone basin from her and was rewarded with a smile that made his chest ache in the most unusual way.

"Thank you, Professor, although it's more awkward than heavy. Would you set that on the staff table while I prepare the furniture?"

As Severus carefully set the pensieve down on the large wooden table where he and his companion would be seated, he was stuck with a sudden inspiring thought.

"Miss Granger, if you sat the N.E.W.T. exams today, you would blow them out of the water, so to speak."

Hermione looked up from the middle of the room where she was conjuring beanbags long enough to blush slightly and reply, "As likely as that scenario may be, I've already stuck it out this long. I should probably finish the term and receive my diploma. Besides, Harry would certainly outscore me in Defense."

"Mr. Potter aside, it is my opinion, as well as most of the staff, that you have already learned everything there is to be garnered here, and then some," Severus countered, flicking his wand at the doors to the Great Hall, propping them open for the students that would be wandering in within the next few minutes.

"What are you getting at, Professor?" Hermione asked, a bemused smile on her face as she conjured her large white screen.

"Hermione," He bit back a grin when her head shot up, her eyes widening in surprise. "I stopped being your Professor years ago, when I could no longer teach you anything you didn't already know. Call me Severus."

Severus could have sworn he saw a small twinkle in her eye as she grinned cheekily at him. A small dimple appeared on her right cheek and his hand tingled with the desire to run his fingers across it.

"I'll think about it."

As the lights in the Great Hall lowered, Hermione glanced over the crowd. All of the first and second year students from all of the houses had come out of curiosity and excitement at another movie showing so soon after the last. Present from the third year students and up were mostly girls, although Hermione was glad to see both Harry and Ron, with put-upon looks on their faces, being drug to their seats by a tenacious Ginny. Hermione smiled and waved at her friends, and grinned as they waved back. She performed the projection spell over the pensieve and moved to her chair. In an effort to keep the film showings alive and possibly a future tradition, she had taught the incantation and wand movement, along with how to remove a memory to a muggleborn fifth year Hufflepuff prefect who had been fascinated by the entire process, and owned an extensive film collection.

She made herself comfortable in her chair, sitting as close to the Professor…Severus, as she dared. She imagined she could feel the body heat coming off of his arm, and if she moved her hand just so, it would be settled over his. She gave herself a mental slap and sighed internally. There was no way that the man next to her, who she realized she had come to fancy, would ever feel the same way about one of his most swotty students.

She had been flabbergasted when he'd given her carte blanche to use his given name, as it showed he no longer really thought of her as a student. She supposed that was a good thing, as they would be in each other's company quite a bit in the next few years. She'd been trying to keep the information close to the vest that she had agreed to take on a Charms apprenticeship with Professor Flitwick, and would have to stay at the castle during her internship. It was nice to know that the man she was falling in love with at least respected her in some way.

Hermione snuck a peek at the man in question and smiled when she found him completely enthralled by the tale. He would occasionally glance over the students, eyes sharp for any sign of troublemaking. But, all of the assembled audience seemed just as taken in as he, including the boys, which had been a major concern when the tone of the film was established, and his eyes would snap back to the screen.

While Severus was certainly interested in the story and the overall tone of Disney's romanticized version of the Little Mermaid, he wasn't completely oblivious to his companion's attentions. As sneaky as she tried to be about them, he had been a spy for years, and had learned to read body language rather well. When she'd scooted her chair close to his and made herself comfortable, his traitorous stomach had turned over and for a minute he'd thought he might be ill. As soon as the lights dimmed and they couldn't see each other entirely, his bodily functions had calmed and he'd become quite interested in the tale, along with the students.

While the drawings were hardly a proper representation of Merpeople, he could see how this movie would appeal to the masses, and certainly to those that dared to call themselves romantics. He briefly wondered if Hermione had ever been to the coast of Denmark to see the statue of the actual mermaid the story was about, which was promptly followed by the question of whether or not she would accompany him. He grimaced as he realized he was turning into a lovesick fool, and only hoped that the darkness of the room covered any expressions crossing his face lest he lose his reputation with his students. As another song started, he felt a warm presence on top of his hand and looked down to find Hermione's hand resting tensely on top of his, as if she was waiting for him to brush her away. He smirked at the gesture, she was certainly an impertinent, cheeky little thing. He fancied her all the more for it. As he debated whether to move his hand or turn it over, the lyrics wormed their way into his head, and he found himself leaning toward her.

http:/ www. youtube. com/ watch?v=tXmLRHnoSAs

As the song ended, his eyes opened and he met her gaze. It had been the soft brushing of lips, but it was enough to send sparks straight to his groin. He knew he would have another date with his right hand this evening. As for the moment, there would have to be an explanation, and he went about arranging the meeting the only way to not raise suspicions.

"Meet me in my office tomorrow evening, Hermione, and we will discuss…this. If anyone asks, you have detention."

She gave a passable imitation of his signature raised brow and nodded in reply before turning back to the screen. At some point, their hands had become intertwined under the table.

Years later, when asked how she and Severus had discovered their feelings for each other, she would claim she suffered from a bout of temporary insanity. For, as far as she was concerned, it was a mixture of his closeness and being caught up in the moment. Knowing the movie by heart, and having read the original book, Hermione was slightly disinterested in the screen and had taken to attempting to slyly observe her neighbor. One booted foot rested on top of the other, and his hand was on the bent knee. He looked more relaxed than he had in years, and Hermione had the crazy notion that she wanted to know if he hands were warm or not, so she'd placed her hand on top of his, not knowing what to expect. Honestly, she expected him to snarl at her and yank his hand back.

She certainly didn't expect him to glance at their hands, make no motion, then move his gaze back to the screen. She really didn't expect him to cock his head to the side for a moment as if lost in thought then lean toward her. Her body took over from there, her eyes closing of their own accord; she leaned toward him also, gasping slightly when his lips touched hers.

It was a chaste kiss, lasting no more than a few seconds, but that one small gesture sent shockwaves through her brain and body, finishing at her core. If one small kiss could have that effect, what else could the man do? Her brain promptly started supplying the naughtiest images, and she rubbed her thighs together in an attempt to ease the tingling that had begun in her nether regions. He leaned over again, and for a crazy moment she thought he was going to snog her again, but he whispered something in her ear, causing her to almost moan. Oh gods, but the man's voice was like silk rubbing against her. Didn't he have any idea the affect he was having on her? She assumed not, as he sat up straight again, although she did notice that their hands were now both on top of his knee, intertwined under the table. Hermione glanced across the room at the students and noticed them all still captivated by the film save two: Ginny Weasley smiled and gave her a thumbs up while Harry simply shook his head and shrugged to say, "If you're happy, then I'm happy."

The following afternoon, Hermione found herself hardly able to focus on anything except her meeting, er, detention with Severus. Every time she recalled his breath on the shell of her ear, her overactive imagination would conjure up the naughtiest images it could. Hermione, thankful that the school was mostly empty due to the holiday, took advantage of the alone time to relieve some of her pent up anxiety. She had barely shut, locked and cast a silencing spell on the door to her room when she leaned back against the cool wood, hiked her skirt up and yanked the crotch of her knickers aside without fanfare. She found herself already wet from her fantasies, and her finger found her clit already engorged and throbbing. She came within a few seconds, and stumbled, breathless, to her bed, and promptly fell asleep.

That's how, three hours later, Hermione came to be running and top speed down the Dungeon corridor toward Severus' office, hair mussed and cheeks red from sleep. It wouldn't do to have a future apprentice be late for any appointment, even if it was being called a detention.

Hermione stopped before his office door, bent over, panting and clutching a stitch in her side. It was this sight that greeted Severus as he flung the door open to see what the racket in the corridor was all about, and perhaps yell at some dunderheads for running indoors. He gave Hermione a once-over, groaning inwardly at the delicious way her hair was mussed and her flushed face. The errant thought that she looked like she had just been rode well made it's way into his mind, and he derailed that train of thought quickly before it could show on his face. Hermione was, unfortunately, still catching her breath, and too distracted to notice the flash of lust in his eyes.

"Come in, Miss Granger, so we can discuss your punishment. Ten points from Gryffindor for tardiness."

Simply rolling her eyes at his silly House grudge, she followed him through his office and into his private quarters. Having never been in the quarters of a live-in professor before, Hermione was slightly surprised by the Spartan-like quality of the furniture. There were two overstuffed wingback chairs in front of the fireplace, and a table off in the corner with a decanter on it. Every other inch of affordable space seemed to be covered in bookshelves, each crammed with what looked like a centuries worth of collecting. There were also two doors leading into other room, which Hermione assumed to be Severus' bedroom and a potions' lab.

Severus caught her hungrily eyeing his book collection and chuckled deeply, catching her attention. "You'll get your chance to search all you want, but for the moment we need to address the other issue at hand."

"You're right," Hermione replied as she sat in one of the chairs, glad that it was actually very warm and comfortable. Severus reclined in the other, and she noticed that he was again in informal attire: black slacks and a whine cotton button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Hermione took in his arms, the black hair that covered the spider-like scars that ran across them, courtesy of the Cruciatus curse. She was more than familiar with the scars left behind by that particular foul incantation. Hermione took a deep breath before speaking.

"I will not, I cannot, go about pretending that I don't fancy you. I don't think that way, and I'm not a good liar. I am, however, good at keeping secrets, and I'm also patient. If I have to wait, I will. However, I feel like I should be honest about my feelings for you. So, there you go, and here we are."

Severus held back an insane desire to laugh. At least he didn't have to worry about her not reciprocating her feelings, she was worried about him! Instead of trying to vocalize his thoughts, he simply stood up and offered her his hand. She glanced warily at him, and took it. When she did, he pulled her bodily to him, and pressed his lips gently to hers.

The kiss took Hermione by surprise, as she had been expecting him to laugh at her, call her a silly chit and send her on her way. She gasped, and Severus took the opportunity to deepen the connection, and after a few seconds she replied in kind. Her hands began to wander, slowly at first, up his arms, then to the corded muscles in his shoulders. As they spun awkwardly through across the floor towards the bedroom, Hermione began to slowly unbutton his shirt, revealing a strong, pale chest covered in thick, black hair.

Severus pulled himself away from her just long enough to remove his shirt completely, and take in her appearance. Her hair was even more mussed, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen and her eyes half-lidded and sparkling with a mixture of lust and mischievousness.

"You know we're going to have to discuss this relationship eventually," Severus muttered as he grabbed her hand and pulled her toward his bed. As he turned her to lay her on his bed, she grinned as she pulled her shirt off and replied,

"Less talk, more snog, Severus."

Severus let out a legitimate laugh at this and leaned forward to kiss the little chit. He briefly kissed her mouth, then began working his way down her neck, to her collar bone. When he reached her pulse point, he stopped briefly and suckled, causing her back to arch, and her to push her breasts into his chest.

As the pair fell backwards, Hermione whispered a charm and Severus suddenly found himself naked. Goose pimples rose on his arse as the dungeon's cold air rushed across it, and he looked down at Hermione. She had the nerve to grin at him, then grind her hips into his, causing his loins to stir and what was left of the blood in his brain to rush south. As he grabbed his cock and lined it up with her entrance, a sudden worry flitted across his brain.

"Hermione, Love, have you ever…" Severus could have sworn he heard her giggle in response before replying.

"No, I'm not a virgin. Apparently, Fred Weasley is good for more than pulling pranks."

Severus shrugged this off, it could have been Ronald after all. At least the twins had some activity going on in their carrot-tops. With that worry eased, Severus continued with the matter at hand, pushing himself slowly into her heated core. Hermione pushed forward with her hips impatiently, stopping only when he hissed at her,

"Stop that, Witch, or I won't last long. It's been some time."

Hermione simply moaned in reply, causing his cock to throb again. He slowly worked his way into her, the warmth surrounding him like a blanket. When his balls finally hit her bum, he took a deep breath, steadying himself. Wanting her to enjoy herself fully, Severus reached between them, and using her juices as lubricant, squeezed her clit between two fingers until she was writhing and moaning beneath him. When her orgasm hit her fully, and her muscles began contracting around his dick, he pulled her right leg onto his shoulder and began to pound into her in earnest. Hermione screamed out her continued orgasm, and it was only a few minutes before Severus felt the familiar sensation in his abdomen and his balls drew up. He let out a soft moan as he emptied himself in her and felt himself go flaccid. Giving Hermione one last soft kiss, he pulled out of her, and cleaned both of them with a mild cleansing charm, then whispered a contraception charm. As he lay down, he pulled her to him, and covered them both up. Severus knew that she would have to sneak out early in the morning to give the appearance of maintaining an appropriate student-teacher relationship, but for now they would simply sleep.

Two Months Later

"Hermione Granger."

As Hermione made her way up the makeshift stage on the castle grounds to receive her diploma, she glanced over the crowd. Clapping enthusiastically in the front two rows was a large group of fiery red hair, and one of the twins let out a loud whoop. Minerva grimaced at this as Hermione grinned and shrugged as she shook the Headmistress' hand. As she made her way down the row of professors, shaking hands and exchanging short greetings, she finally made her way to the man at the end. He was standing with his arms behind his back, a slight grimace on his face, as if he had no enjoyment in the festivities.

"Are you going to shake my hand and wish me well, Professor?" Hermione asked as she stood before him, grinning cheekily.

"No, I will not, Miss Granger." He replied haughtily, a spark of playfulness dancing in his eyes.

"Whatever shall we do, Professor? You refuse to greet me and I refuse to move until you do so. It seems we are at an impasse." Hermione replied as she turned to glance over her shoulder at the line of graduates that had formed behind her on the stage, who were listening to their conversation avidly.

"Yes, whatever shall we do about this?" Severus asked as he lowered his arms to his sides, his fingers twitching a bit.

"Indeed, what-" Hermione's reply was cut off by his mouth on hers and his finger buried in her hair. She vaguely heard the brief silence and gasps of the crowd, followed by a loud shout of glee. The thought that she was going to get Fred Weasley flittered across her brain before it blessedly went blank, and there was nothing in her mind but Severus.