Something kicked this idea into my head when I was trying to get some sleep, why can't ideas ever seem to wait till the holidays?

Disclaimer: nope still don't own Merlin. Damn.

I think it helps if you read this in a sarcastic voice.

I wouldn't mind if I was somewhere interesting. But no. I end up stuck in a rock in the middle of a forest that no one in their right mind has heard of where the most interesting thing that happens is a squirrel trying to nibble at my carvings.

Well it all started a few years ago, I was normal back then. No fancy engravings or frankly itchy magic spell all I had to worry about was a dent or two and then this boy comes along, skinny little twerp, and waves me in the face of a bloody great big dragon. Don't remember much after that but it hurt a lot.

Had a good gig for a while after that saw some real action. I don't mean you're run of the mill being waved about to scare off a couple of half-starved looters, I mean a proper fight with blood and everything. Ended a bit oddly though – never seen the other guy explode before.

So I was all excited about being the king's new favourite toy when that skinny twerp comes back, and he only goes and lobs me in a bloody lake doesn't he? I swear that boy has no respect.

Well at the time I thought the lake was dull but at least I could watch the fish and stuff. I was a bit worried about rust but that dragon must've really done a number on me 'cause I didn't even get discoloured. Anyway I was down there for frankly ages I was starting to wonder if they'd all forgotten about me, I mean I've got a pretty decent edge you know you don't just go around leaving your best sword at the bottom of a bleeding lake you know. Well unless your thin with black hair, big ears and frankly too much magic for your own good apparently.

So where was I? Oh yeah. Fish. Well that carried on for ages (have I said that already?) and then then girl, pretty little thing, dunno how she ended up there, maybe that boy threw her in as well, anyway, she holds me aloft any you'll never guess who she goes and gives me to, I'll give you a hint. He was tall, with dark hair and big ears. Yep it was that twerp back again.

I suppose I can't really complain, well I can actually at great length, but at least things got interesting after that. I even killed a couple of un-dead things (can you kill an un-dead thing?) and knocked over a cup, why do you need a sword to knock over a cup? Surely a slight push and you can let gravity do the rest. And then you'll never believe me, that boy, who seems to be quite happy to use me when it's convenient for him, he only goes and sticks me in this bloody rock. I mean why? What exactly was the point (no pun intended) he goes to all the trouble to make me and then he sticks me in a rock where no one will ever find me. I mean I haven't even seen a peasant in six months. And I am bored



Well at least that got most of the randomness out of my head for a while, I'll see you when it builds up again.

Review? Anyone?