Konnichiwa, minna-san! This is my first Death Note fanfic, so please enjoy. Remember to R&R ^_^
The rising sun peeked over a mountain, fading out the twilight and starting the day. Raito-san awoke when the light outside reached his eyelids. He turned his head to see Ryuuku was already up and forcing some more apples down his throat. "So juicy," he muttered to himself.
Lighto ignored the shinigami and entered the shower (cue the cliché fangirls line). "Seems like a kawaii day to kill some more criminals," Righto-kun thought as he shampooed his hair and brushed his teeth.
When Laito-sama had gotten dressed and returned to his room, Ryuk said "Oy Light, are you gonna use the dethu noto today? I'm getting bored again." Lait-chan couldn't answer the death god before the doorbell rang.
Raight walked downstairs and saw Sayu-senpai on the couch eating sushis and oni-giris and other delicious Japanese foods like those. Walking past her, he opened the door and found three nice looking desus on the porch. "Yagami Rait, desu," Light-o-sensei stated putting extra emphasis on the normally silent "U".
"Hi, I'm Leila; this is Lisa, and that one's Robert." The two that hadn't made introductions smiled and waved.
Right nodded as he took the information in. "So, this is Reira desu, this is Risa desu, and that one's Lobelut desu." He over pronounced the "U" each time.
"No, I'm sorry, sir. It's Leila, Lisa and Robert. They're English names."
Rait-o-san's eyes flashed a shade of evil red and his face contorted with fury. Those three weren't desus at all! They were bakas. Worse, they were bakayaros who were stupid enough to use that damnable pagan language, English. There weren't enough gomennasais and onegais in the world to make up for this sin. "Naruhodo," Raighto-sama said controlling his rage and pulling out a black notebook. "I'll just write them down so I don't forget." He did just that, and they all died.
Sayu-chan watched the whole scene, though. She watched as her onii-chan shut the door and nonchalantly walked away.
"Onii-san," Sayu called putting so much emphasis on the "I" in that high pitched Japanese tone that all the windows and other glass objects in the house broke . . . again. When Lite approached , Sayu grabbed the notebook, a pretty insolent action considering how submissive Japanese women are supposed to be.
Raito quickly snatched the Death Note back, but it was too late. Sayu had her eyes locked on some kind of monster or akuma that just appeared out of nowhere in their living room . . . unless living room isn't Japanese enough. Trembling, Sayu pointed her index finger at the beast. "O-o-onii . . ." she choked out.
"Kuso . . ." Lite-o-sama muttered, further alienating those who don't know any Japanese.
The shinogimi bent its head back and roared with laughter, but Light just froze with anger. Sayu-chan was shaking with terror, but she was too (Japanese word for scared) to run. When his laughing fit was over, Ryukuu started to speak. "Oi, oi, Lait-o. What are ya gonna do now? Are ya gonna kill her?"
"Bakayaro! Damn dethigami!" Righto desu snapped.
Sayu just shrunk in fear even more. "Kill me? Death god? What is he-" with cliché and predictable timing, her brain made a connection despite being too panicked to realistically do so. "Kira," Sayu said aloud. "Onii-sama is Kira!"
This time Right-o-kami's heart sank. "Sayu-san-sama-chan . . ." He had no choice but to kill her now. It was for the new world.
Raito raised his pen and opened the note, and Sayu realized what that meant. "Matte, please, onii-dono! I'll join you, please!" She screamed in desperation.
Rait's hand froze when he registered her screams. "What did you say?"
"I-I . . . I'll join you!" she claimed with growing enthusiasm.
"No, not that. What did you call me?"
Now Sayu felt like she could die from the fear. "O-o-o-onii . . . dono."
There it was. "Dono." The perfect honorific. Respectful, but not overused. Regal and sophisticated. "Dono . . ." Raito repeated with an almost sexual passion. He put away the pen and nodded.
Sayu was confused, but she seemed safe, so she felt relieved. "Yeah, big brother-dono, let's work together!"
End of Chapter 1
Yeesh, I am not happy with how much of this document is underlined in red. I know this is a short one (this A/N is roughly 1/6 the entire fanfic 0.o;), but I don't know how long I could have even went with that joke. I probably already went on too long. Anyway, if you couldn't tell, this is a parody of all those fanfics that have excessive Japanese. It's a pet peeve of mine when people can't stick to one language. Also don't expect a chapter 2. I left it as a cliffhanger like that because of all those fanfics you find around that haven't updated with a chapter 2 in years if they even do at all. I'm kind of parodying that, too. Still, if I happen to get enough support for this, and enough inspiration, I'll consider continuing for you. Anyway, see you next fanfiction!