Disclaimer: Well, duh, it's fanfiction!


"When are they getting here?" Gary Coleman drummed his fingers and fidgeted, Rod and Nicky were fifteen minutes late, but then Nicky wasn't exactly renown for his organisational time keeping skills. He surveyed the private booth at the Around the Clock Café that they'd hired; Kate and Princeton were squished up against him, eating each others faces, on his other side Trekkie was alternating between drooling over some pin up girl on his iPhone, chatting up Lucy and sneaking glances at the make out session that Gary was trying to ignore, next to Trekkie; Lucy the Christian was arguing with the Bad Idea Bears, trying to get them to give up scientology whilst Brian and Christmas Eve were having one of their infamous post marital spats.

Princeton surfaced for air and told him to quit whining before he was again molested by Kate. Gary glared at him and took another glug of beer, earning a disapproving look from Lucy.

Oh please, just please. Her new up-her-own-ass-holier-than-thou attitude was never going to last, he knew how much she enjoyed hosting saucy cabarets and strutting around in micro skirts and tube tops. He watched the former star of Girls Gone Wild, now clad in a shapeless white tablecloth type dress down to her ankles with her glorious blonde curly hair restrained in a thick braid, accuse the Bad Idea Bears of worshipping aliens.

Scientology, eh? No wonder they were called the Bad Idea Bears.

He chuckled at his catty remark, catching the attention of Christmas Eve.

"What you smirking at Shorty?" she snapped. Brian saw an opportunity to present a united front.

"Yeah Tiny… did you see a mirror or something?" he looked at his wife expectantly.

"Blian, that was weak," she slowly shook her head and took a sip of her drink.

"Very," agreed Gary, "Aren't you supposed to be a comedian or something?"

"Actually, I'm a consultant now! Right, Honey?" he beamed proudly.

"You be whatever you want, I'm off to bathroom," she muttered and escaped the crowded booth.

Gary couldn't resist a jab, Brian looked so crestfallen, "Tut tut, Brian, even I know that the twin pillars of a successful marriage are "Support and Love"," he said wisely.

"They are?" he missed the sarcasm.

"Uh, sure, you shouldn't be letting her treat you like that, you need to grow a pair and stand up for yourself!"

"Testify!" the Bad Idea Bears recognised an opportunity.

"Yeah! I'm the man!" Brian shouted, causing everyone to focus on him.

"If you say so," Gary muttered.

"What?"

"He said, "You should say so!"" the Bears chimed in, "You need to show her who wears the pants in this relationship!"

"Yeah!" He tried to stand up dramatically but got a bit stuck between the table and the big sofa that went round the booth. He sucked in his gut and tried again.

Everyone suppressed their laughter and attempted to look inspired.

"Go get 'em big guy!" the Bears cried.

"Hold on a second!" Kate decided to speak up, luckily Princeton silenced her with more kisses.

"Brian, do not listen to these sinners," now Lucy was taking a stand, who invited her anyway?

Suddenly in burst Rod and Nicky.

"What the hell!" Gary exclaimed into the now silent booth.


AN: YAY! I just love Gary Coleman so much, even though he's dead in real life, his musical counter part will live on! I mean, if they were trying to make it realistic then he wouldn't be played by a girl now would he? Ahuh, anyway, short, I know, but it's just a filler chapter to show the passage of time or something. I dunno, Shakespeare used to do it!