I've Been Expecting You!
Imperial records. Medical Analysis, File: 1649AVΣα. Subject: Inquisitor Torquemada Coteaz of the Ordo Malleus. Medic: Aurelius Marc, of the Formosa Sector's League of Physicians.
It was only after a few of my superiors had been to see the Inquisitor Lord about his paranoia that I was sent. Apparently all those who had gone before had had an eagle thrown at them upon descending in the lift, as Coteaz shouted "I've Been Expecting You! That'll teach you to deep strike within 12" of me!"
As such, I took the stairs down. You wouldn't have thought that there would be stairs in this day and age, I mean it's 419th century for goodness sake! But I was rather glad not to have an eagle thrown at me.
I entered his chamber, and he look up from his seat, and placing hischin on his intertwined fingers, said in a deep voice "I've been expecting you."
As no eagle flew in my direction, I took the opportunity to say, "I should hope so, we only made the appointment this morning. So... I understand you've been suffering from paranoia, sufficiently much so that you had your old boss tried for heresy, something to do with an hourglass, and constantly keep no less than six war-bands around you, fully armed and ready."
It was true, I had been escorted in by 12 men, who looked suspiciously like Imperial Guard veterans with their armour repainted, and now, around the room, stood all sorts of guards, some servitors, some warriors with huge shields, and some a weird 'cherubim' that Coteaz used to call a familiar, but of which had recently been heard saying "I'll have to treat it as a daemonhost now."
He looked me in the eye, and glared "It's this new codex, it makes me seem like some paranoid freak, who'll do anything to achieve eternal life. And I lost a point of strength and my eagle doesn't give me an initiative boost, I mean it's not like I'm getting any older and weaker, we've been canonically stuck at 999M41 since second edition."
I sensed then that the Inquisitor's mental faculties may have deteriorated more than previously believed. I continued on however, "So, how long have you had these feelings of paranoia?"
"Since April 2nd 2011."
I was by this point seriously worried. Not by his comment, but by the fact that a Lord of Change suddenly appeared behind him. "You weren't expecting this, were you Coteaz?" An eagle suddenly flew up and pecked it's eye out. "Ahh! What was that."
"I've been expecting you." Coteaz said, as the servitors next to him fired their multimeltas. "And thanks to the guy with the eviscerator, you have to reroll your invulnerable saves."
This was a weird case...