Please forgive my complete lack of creativity with the title and summary. Thank you!
Anyway, I've realized that since Klaine's become canon, I've taken to writing borderline-angst stories for them. I wish I could go back to uncanon, so I could write fluff. I'm just frustrated. This is sort of like an emotion study of crying, complete with angst-tastic Klaine.
For your reference, the italics are flashbacks that may be references to the episodes and the incident in this story. By the way, they're not really in any particular order, but you should be able to piece it all together.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I thought you would all know this by now.
There was something so calming about crying. It started with a wobbling lip, trying to hold the tears back, but one rebel always broke the barrier. The hot tear would roll down a smooth cheek, giving the signal for more to join the cascade down. It felt cleansing, almost like an internal shower. But, the crying that wracked out sobs until breathing came in broken gasps was not a soothing kind of cry. In fact, it was heartbreaking to hear, and even more heartbreaking to be the source of.
This is why Blaine backed away from Kurt's door, forcefully biting down on his lower lip to stop it from quivering. He had no reason to break down, other than he messed up the best thing he ever had going. He felt his chest constrict, a tightness that hindered him from breathing. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm him down, analyzing everything that happened earlier in the evening.
"It's not what it looks like," Blaine rushed; his textbooks still sprawled out on his bed, as Flint jumped to his feet.
"As convincing as that is, it's usually what it looks like," Kurt wavered, pushing back the bubble that threatened to constrict his throat as he kept his best bitch face on.
"I should just go," Flint observed, gathering his own books, before pushing past Kurt in the doorway.
"Can we talk about this?" Blaine meekly asked, barely able to hear his own voice.
"I should go," Kurt calmly said, pressing his lips into a thin line to keep them from quivering.
Blaine felt numb at this point, as the events rushed back to him. He screwed his eyes shut, squeezing out a few tears, before sliding down the wall across from Kurt's door. He hugged his knees against his chest, and ducked his head down to rest on his kneecaps. It was all he could do before falling apart at the seams.
"Just give me one more chance to make it right," Blaine pleaded, contemplating dropping to his knees to just keep Kurt around.
"I can't deal with this," Kurt sadly muttered, slamming Blaine's door shut.
It only took a few minutes till Blaine was choking for air through his loud sobs. He hardly cared that he was making a scene out of nothing. It hurt. It hurt that Kurt didn't want to talk to him. It hurt that he screwed it all up. And, it hurt the most to hear Kurt crying louder than he could ever think possible. It just fucking hurt.
"No, you don't understand! I messed everything up!" Blaine shouted at Wes and David, who were trying their best to be supportive during the rough patch in their relationship.
"No, you didn't," David said with a small smile.
"Just go talk to him," Wes urged, pushing Blaine out of their dorm.
"What if he doesn't want to listen?" Blaine asked, his insecurities getting the best of him.
"He's Kurt. He's your Kurt. He'll listen," Wes reassuringly said, watching Blaine walk off to Kurt's dorm.
Blaine didn't think it was possible to have this many tears stored in him. He recalled the train wreck that he had made as a bout of thunder rolled through. It blocked out the sound of Kurt's sobs from the other side of the door that mixed with own for a few seconds. Blaine had never been more grateful for a clap of thunder, which almost always sent him diving into his parents' bed, than he was right now.
"Flint, we were an item last year –" Blaine mumbled, as Flint leaned across his Introduction to Business textbook.
"Well, you aren't stopping me," Flint taunted, hovering his lips inches from Blaine's, as Blaine pushed him back on his bed.
"I'm with Kurt now," Blaine said, his voice filling with more assertion.
"One kiss, Blaine, for old time's sake," Flint pouted, pulling on Blaine's tie. Against his better judgment, he allowed their lips to meet.
Blaine stayed in his curled up ball, cursing Wes and David for thinking that Kurt would listen to him explain his side of the story right now. He never wanted to hear from him again. He could hear the heartbroken noises that he was making on the other side of the door. Blaine had cheated. He was a cheater. Of course, Kurt would never even want to see his face again.
After the tear induced pain subsides, and breathing returns to normal, a wave of sleepiness blankets itself down. A hard crying session zaps all energy. It's easy to succumb to the call that sleep gives out, only it's hard to fall asleep knowing that in the morning nothing will be different. It's even harder to know that once in bed a mind naturally drifts, only to beckon a new wave of tears. It's a never ending cycle of crying and tiredness.
"Blaine, you can't sleep here," Wes said, stirring Blaine awake.
Blaine blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the light in the hallway. His eyes hurt from crying, but he was relieved to hear nothing coming from Kurt's room.
"I take that it didn't go well," Wes said, sliding down the wall to join Blaine on the floor.
Blaine shook his head, forcing back the lump that was caught in his throat.
"Come on," Wes said, unsuccessfully tugging Blaine to his feet, "You need to talk to him."
"No," Blaine protested, his throat feeling like sandpaper as Wes knocked on the door.
"Wes, do you have any –" Kurt angrily jumping into how intoxicatingly late it was, before his eyes settled on the sad excuse of a man curled up in the fetal position on the floor across the hall.
"Blaine needs to talk to you," Wes stated, pulling Kurt out of his room, even though it was nearing midnight.
"I have nothing to say to him," Kurt indignantly said, tilting his head back the slightest bit to stop the tears from breaking the barrier and succumbing to gravity.
"Well, then you just listen," Wes ordered, as Kurt complied; even without his gavel, he held an air of power in his voice.
"I... Flint... It was a mistake," Blaine said, not sure how to explain himself.
"I know that much," Kurt scoffed causing Blaine to wince.
"It was stupid. So stupid. I'm sorry. If I could go back, I would change it all. I didn't mean to hurt you," Blaine confessed, the words nearly tripping to get his point across, "I would never have purposely hurt you. He leaned in, I should have fended him off better, but it happened. I'm not sure why I did it. I don't even like his kisses; they're too sloppy. I l – don't want to lose you."
Kurt was speechless, watching as Blaine's hazel eyes were starting to shed more tears. Kurt kneeled down across from him, quickly swiping his thumb across Blaine's tearstained cheek.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. I'm sorry," Blaine blubbered apologies, as Kurt pulled Blaine into his chest. He should have been mad at Blaine for leaving him to cry his eyes out all by himself earlier, when all he wanted was this moment. But, he just needed to see Blaine smile again.
"Shh... It's not okay, but it will be," Kurt hushed, running his fingers through Blaine's curls, not letting him off the hook that easily. After all, he couldn't be entirely mad because neither one of them knew exactly what they were doing.
"Look, Kurt," Blaine said, snapping Kurt's attention from the floor, "I don't know what I'm doing. I pretend like I do, and I know how to act it out in song... but the truth is..." He trailed off, not sure how much confession he should lay on Kurt in one moment, "I've never been anyone's boyfriend."
"Me either," Kurt offered a brief smile, hoping it would comfort Blaine.
"Let me be clear about something," Blaine said, as Kurt pressed his lips together, fighting off a blotchy rush of blood that he knew was about to color his cheeks, "I really, really care about you. But, as you and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, I'm not very good at romance. I don't want to screw this up."
"Are you two going to be okay?" Wes asked, toying with his phone, telling David that they were going to be okay.
"We'll be fine," Kurt affirmed, noticing that Blaine had stopped the waterworks.
"Thank you, Wes," Blaine croaked, as Wes offered a genuine smile, before turning on his heel to return to his dorm.
"Kissing Rachel was one thing," Kurt broke the silence that settled after Wes stalked off, "Flint... it just can't happen again."
"I didn't drink that much," Blaine protested, as they walked around the Lima Bean to the pickup part of the counter.
"Are you kidding? You spent the entire night sucking Rachel Berry's face. That, sir, is what we call rock bottom," Kurt laughed, ignoring the pangs in his heart he got from the notion of Blaine kissing anyone but him, even though they were just best friends.
"Can you just stay with me tonight?" Blaine timidly asked, feeling completely wiped from crying, but strangely content.
Sometimes, the best part of crying is the serenity that laps over when it's all said and done. It's like the calm after the storm, which is almost always welcomed with open arms. The tear induced pain hurts in the moment, but the cleansed feeling afterwards is almost worth the occasional breakdown.
"We're not sleeping in the hallway," Kurt deadpanned, not quite ready to move from this position with Blaine's head rested in the crook of his neck.
Well, if you stuck around this long, it wouldn't kill you to drop a little review. They literally make my day.