His Whole World

A Mentalist Story

By Brown Eyes Parker

Chapter Summary:

Jane's whole universe was taken away from him. So he focused on making a new universe. . . until she found him. Partially inspired by "Goodbye May Seem Forever" from Disney's Fox & the Hound, "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry, and "Halo" by Beyonce.

Disclaimer:

I own. . . a bunch of CDs I mixed, a bakers dozen of half-baked story ideas, and more shoes than I know what do with. I do not own Jane and Lisbon, or the Mentalist.

Author's Note I:

This story was originally going to be based on a Faith Hill song called "You Stay With Me". THEN I found a great music website called 8tracks and I was inspired by a bunch of great songs, and some old songs too. I am also renaming this story, it was originally called "You Stay With Me", but it's new name is, "And Then. . . She Found Me"

.

From our sadness

Our happiness grew and then I found out, I needed you too. . .

Goodbye May Seem Forever, Fox & the Hound_

Remember those walls I built?

Well baby they tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo, I've got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breaking

It's the risk that I'm taking

I ain't ever gonna shut you out

Halo, Beyonce_

Before you met me
I was a wreck

But things were kind of heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February, you'll be my Valentine

Valentine. . .

Teenage Dream, Katy Perry_

IV. Patrick Jane – And Then. . . She Found Me

Angela Ruskin Jane. My wife, My lover, my best friend. . . she was my whole universe. But that was before I spoke out against Red John on television, before I got her killed. Before I came undone, and then came together again. She was the woman I came home to every single night. The woman that I kissed when I came into the door at night, the woman that I could hold on rainy nights. The woman that I would take dancing, and spontaneous trips to exotic destinations. She was the woman I saved.

She was the woman I decked out in jewelry for no reason at all. Somebody who saw the worst parts of me and still loved me. Somebody for me to protect. . . even though in the end I didn't do a very good job at protecting her. My stupidity and pride killed her. I didn't do my job, so I lost my whole universe.

Charlotte Anne Jane. My daughter, the light of my life. . . she was my whole universe. But that was before I spoke out against Red John on television, before I got her killed. Before I tried to take my own life. . . before I found life again. Before I found a reason not to live, and then a reason to live. She was the girl I would come home to at night. The girl that I slipped extra scoops of ice cream to when her mother wasn't looking. The girl I would put on my shoes and dance her around the den to Frank Sinatra. Somebody I would read Goodnight Moon to before bed until we both knew every word by heart. Somebody I watched the Rescuers and Fox and the Hound with. A daughter who looked at me like I was the only man in the world. A daughter who trusted me to protect her. . . to always make sure that she was safe. Because I was stupid and prideful, I killed her. I didn't do my job, so I lost my whole universe.

.

He used to be my whole universe. After what he did to my wife and child, my only desire was to find him, to see him suffer in the same way. . . to get revenge on him. I became obsessed, nothing else mattered. . . nobody else mattered. Not where Red John was concerned. He took my entire universe away, he took my whole life away. . . he deserved to know the pain that I knew.

And then. . . she found me. The roles were reversed this time, she saved me. I didn't save her. When I was at my lowest, when I was at my most desperate she came into my life and pulled me out of the darkness, out of the deep depression that had taken over me. She gave me a job, a reason to live again, she gave me peace. She gave me a means to an end.

And when I least excepted it, she gave me love for a second time. Then she became my whole universe. And like a teenage boy with a crush on the prettiest girl in high school, she made me want to live again. To call Delilah, and dedicate special songs to her, to sing love songs, and spout off sonnets. She made me want to ask her to dance, and then do it again. She made me want to capture her attention, and give it all to me. Like a teenage boy in high school when she agreed to do anything with me outside of work, I probably grinned like I just had won the lottery.

On a rainy day in August, I finally realized all of this after seven years of knowing her.

After weeks of innocent people being killed, after weeks of searching and dead ends, we found Red John at last. When I saw his face, I waited to do what I thought would come naturally. . . to attack him, to kill him. . . to make him suffer the way that he had made countless amounts of others suffer. To make him suffer the way he had made my wife and child suffer. . . the way he had made me suffer. I waited to do what I had planned to do all along.

And then – for a millisecond – my eyes flicked to her. It was the hugest mistake of my life. It was the best choice I ever made. When I looked at her all the hatred bubbling up in my heart came to a complete halt. . . she was looking at me with pleading eyes. Something inside me told me that life without her would be worse than a lifetime of knowledge that Red John got treated in the most humane ways possible.

I chose life. I chose her. (I should have realized the signs long before. . . I felt the need to protect her, push her away, keep certain facts that I knew about Red John away from her. I knew that everybody I got close to would eventually get killed. . . and I couldn't bear to lose her.)

She arrested Red John, and a month later he got his day in court. But the judge and jury weren't lenient by any means. He got sentenced to death. . . lethal injection. I wasn't happy with the sentencing, and I left the courtroom before the judge finished what he was saying.

And then. . . she found me. She followed me out of the courthouse and to the park across the street. She sat down beside me on the park bench, and took my hand. She laced her fingers through mine and held on tightly. She leaned her head on my shoulder, nestling into the crook of my chin. It started to rain, and still we didn't move. Neither of us said anything. . . and for the first time, I couldn't read her thoughts. But my own were glaringly obvious.

I needed her.

But I couldn't form the words, I couldn't find the right ones to say. I couldn't find the courage to put my arms around her, and kiss her. Kiss her in a way that would cause both our heads to spin. Kiss her in a way that would – as my wife used to say – rock the whole entire park.

With my wife everything had been so easy. I had known her all my life. For me, there had been nobody else.

And I guess, it should have been the same way with Lisbon. Like my wife, she knew me. . . she had seen the worst side of me and had still liked me. She had still. . . put all her hope in me, and the way things would turn out in the end.

So, throwing caution to the wind, I kissed her that rainy afternoon in the park. Because when you find your whole universe, that's what you do. You don't waste time, and I had already wasted enough time already.

(And the kiss did rock the entire park.)

I married her. Because when you find your whole universe, that's what you do. You marry them, and spend the rest of your life showing them just how much they mean to you.

I was dead, a scarred, empty shell of a man. Haunted by ghosts and by demons, and what could have beens. . . what should have beens. I was somebody with a past. And then. . . she found me. . . and I was never the same person again.

_The End_

Author's Note II:

Well, here we are at the end of another story. I've tweaked it and tweaked it, then I retweaked what I tweaked. I thought I would hate it by now, but I actually still love it. Maybe even more than when I was first putting Jane's story together. I know it's not perfect, but do any of us ever really obtain perfection in this lifetime? I only wish the first three stories in this series had reached what this has reached in the past three weeks I've had to work on it.

Anyways, thanks to everyone who took the time to review this story. I really appreciate whatever reviews I get. I am truly happy when I know somebody really likes my stories, I know that I haven't written in vain. You guys are what keep me writing, even when my inspiration is running low. And it's been running low lately. . . I'm still smarting a little bit from a beating I took a while ago.

Don't worry though, I still have a million ideas for stories. It's just translating them onto paper. . . or my computer.

Sorry for rambling.

Until next time I remain faithfully your's,

Holly, May 9, 2011_