Chapter 1: Start off lightly.

"What's that?"

"A girl?"

"She has a tail."

"And those ears."

"Why's she dressed so strangely?"

"Is that a sword?"

"Is she a cosplayer?"

"There's no convention around."

Momiji yelped as various humans surrounded her. They muttered various things all of them staring down at her.


The Human Realm

Momiji began to cry.

"Get out of the way." Someone began to push through the crowd.

The speaker staggered out of the crowd and stopped in front of Momiji, startling her. He grabbed her arm and charged through the humans, letting them part ways for him. Momiji began to bawl.

"Don't start crying on me now, Inubashiri Momiji." He sighed.


"So Aya kicked you out and she said that you can't come back without a scoop?"

Momiji nodded, sniffing a bit. Her helper sat across from her. He had dragged her all the way to his own home and had to calm her down, a task which took him a full hour.

"This isn't Gensokyo is it?" Momiji whined.




"Then where am I?"

"Human Realm."

"You seem to know a lot about Youkais."

"A bit." Her helper said picking up the newspaper in front of him.

"Ah, that's..."

"Not your master's newspaper." He cut in, showing Momiji the front page.

"Eh? B-But...only Aya-Sama and Hatate-Sama run newspapers."

"Human Realm."

"Th-There's more than one newspapers in the Human Realm?" Momiji said, shocked.


"Whoa." Momiji wowed, "It must be difficult to find scoops in the Human Realm."

"Not really. Most of the time, Humans do something amazing stupid enough to be called a scoop."



"...I-Is there a way for me to get back to Gensokyo?"





"I can do it."


"...How do I say this? ...My power is...random. It will activate whenever it wants to."


"It's a pain most of the time. My guests are usually very impatient."


"Don't mind me." Her helper said, putting down the newspaper, "Feel free to stay until you can leave. I have a room ready for you and you just might find a once-in-a-lifetime scoop in the Human Realm." Then he muttered, "Maybe that'll get my power to work."

"D-Do you...never mind..." Momiji sighed.

"If you have any questions regarding your situation ask them now. I want to get those out of the way."

"O-Oh. T-Then do you know why I ended up here?"

"Yukari." The human said, "Just Yukari...being lazy...with the border...again...Unless she gapped you here."


"Yeah, I wish it was a gap." The human muttered. Then he paused. Then he thought about it. "Gah. Either way she's a pain."


"Any other questions?" The human asked.

"Um...D-Do you have a name?" Momiji asked.

"...You won't need my name. You're just a temporary guest."


"I will do all I can to send you back to Gensokyo as soon a possible." The human said, "If you want my name then pay some rent."

Momiji whined and backed off.

The human sighed rubbed his face tiredly, "I was never that good with pets." Momiji watched as he got up, "I'll leave you alone. Your room is right there. If you want to make sense of your situation, stay in there and think. If you're bored, take this and go shopping or something." The human placed a wad of money in front of Momiji before he got up and left.

Momiji stared at the money for a while. Then she got up and began to walk towards her room. Along the way something caught her eyes in the human's newspaper.

April 18, 2011

The Petty Patrol Tengu Spotted!

Kyoto District, Train Station

1. She was in the Human Realm

2. There was a surprisingly nice man taking care of her.

3. That man has the power to bring her back to Gensokyo.

4. That power won't activate unless it wants to (Momiji's note: What kind of power is that?)

5. Find Aya a Scoop.

Momiji stared at her notes and tried to absorb the information written on there. She sighed and placed down her pen, "How'd I get in this situation?"

"Yukari...being lazy...with the border...again."

Momiji frowned and opened up the newspaper that the human reads. Articles were written about fires, disasters and political problems in different parts of the world. Small articles here and there spoke of events somewhere in Japan. The more Momiji read, the more confident she grew that she could find a good scoop. Then she remembered what the human muttered once,

"Maybe that'll get my power to work."

"Okay! I'll find a scoop in no time!" Momiji cried, standing up confidently.

Then she got distracted by the comics.

The human came back sometime ago apparently. Momiji was too busy trying to solve the daily crossword puzzle. But Momiji managed to sniff out the scent of food just before he came to her room and knocked,


Dinner was fish, radish and steak along with rice. Momiji stared at the fish and radish for a moment before she went for the steak.

"Cooled down yet?" The human asked.

"Hm?" Momiji asked, trying to bite a piece of the steak off...and failing.

"Do you have any other questions?" The human asked as he got up.

"Jus' a few." Momiji said, struggling to rip off that small bit of steak.

"Like what?" The human asked from the kitchen, rummaging around inside a drawer.

"How do you have this power to bring me back to Gensokyo?" Momiji asked, placing the steak back down sadly.

"Oh. That. Well I..."


In the human's hands was a steak knife. His table was cut entirely in half from Momiji's giant sword...along with dinner. Momiji stared horrified at the damage she caused. The human's steak knife slid from his hands and sunk itself into the floor.



The next day the mess was completely cleaned up, though her slash remained on the floor. The human really managed to hide her sword somehow. Momiji wasn't even able to sniff it out. The human was up earlier than her and made breakfast for her which was simple eggs and bacon. Momiji had to eat in her room. When she finished she came out to give him back her dish, but he wasn't there. Neither were the table pieces thankfully. She walked into the kitchen and placed it into the sink. Then she stared at them for a moment before she finally decided to begin washing it. She hunted down a clean cloth and turned on the water before he returned.

"Ah." He said when he saw her, "It's okay, I'll do it-"

"No!" Momiji cried, "I want to help! After all I broke-"


"Human dishes are usually more fragile than Youkai dishes." The human sighed, taking the shattered dish from Momiji's trembling fingers, "It's fine. I'll..."

Momiji was about to cry.


"I-I'm so sorry f-for all the..."

"Still apologizing? Don't. I've had worse guests." The human said, placing the dishes into the garbage can, "Are you hurt? Let me see you hands."

Momiji yelped as the human grabbed her hands and inspected them.

"...You're fine." The human concluded and walked off.

Momiji stared at her host, surprised at the subtle change in his personality, "U-Um.."

"Here." The human interrupted handing her back the large wad of money from yesterday, "You forgot this."

"Eh? B-But I-"

"Go shopping." The human insisted, "I'll need time to fix this floor."

"I-I'll help!"

"No. Get changed and go ou-" The human stopped, "...Did you take a bath?"


"You didn't. Didn't you?"


"No complaining. Get in the bath right now."

"N-No!" Momiji whined, "Water is bad!"

"You're going to take a bath even if I have to get in there with you!"

"That's even worse!"

Momiji eventually took that bath...alone. The human had female human clothes that surprisingly fit. She insisted on helping one more time before she left.

"Take this." The human handed her a cap, "And never take it off. And keep your tail under your dress."

Momiji found it surprisingly easy to move along the Human Realm without her giant sword and strange clothes. She counted the money that the man gave her which totaled up to half a million yen. Momiji wondered how he got so much money. She walked into a general store to buy a notepad and pen (overpaying the lady at the counter 50,000 yen) and set off to find a scoop. In her quest she found:

A burning building. That was put out by humans shooting water from pipes. Momiji just took a bath so she stayed away.

A robbery. There were masked men with strange weapons which Momiji didn't feel like taking on without her sword.

A fight in a downtown bar. Momiji annoyed the loser with her questions and had to break his arm.

A police car chase. Too fast. Momiji figured flying wasn't a good option right now.

A prison. She escaped quickly.

A Large Hadron Collider. She stared at the buttons before she decided to leave the technology bits to Nitori.

A human play. Momiji couldn't get in without a ticket, but backed down when she heard the play was cursed.

A teenage girl having problems deciding which seat of a car she should take. Momiji clearly saw only one available seat and eventually threw her into the seat before continuing.

Tired, Momiji returned without a scoop.

"I'm back." Momiji announced when she came back.

"We're having dinner in a restaurant." The human said automatically and dragged her back out the door.


"It's too late for me to cook anything so we're going out for dinner."

"B-But...what's a restaurant?"

A restaurant was apparently a large fancy building where she was given a seat and table and a menu with a large amount of food available to her. She wanted to order (almost) everything on the menu, but the human insisted that she choose at most, 3. So Momiji settled on Steak with Curry Rice. The human choose to have lobster and fried chicken.

"That was good." Momiji cried when they left.

"Glad to hear it."

"Can we go back tomorrow?"



"Did you find a scoop?"

"No." Momiji sniffed, "Actually I found a bunch of stuff, but none of it seemed like news."

"I see. Well, better luck tomorrow."

Momiji woke up earlier than the human tomorrow. She was careful to walk around the cemented gash that she created. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. She stayed there for a moment, waiting for the human to wake up, but got bored and decided to check the item she brought yesterday.

"Momiji?" The human called.

"Here." Momiji responded.

"What's that?" The human asked when he found her, "A camera?

"I brought it yesterday." Momiji smiled, "It's for Aya."

"I see." The human said, picking it up. He stared at it and then Momiji before he sighed, "Take a bath and change. We're going out."

"And how may I help you?" The human behind the counter asked.

"I wish to return this." He said, handing over the camera that Momiji brought.

"EH? B-But..."

"Quiet." He said sternly.

"I don't see anything wrong with it." The employee said.

"It's simply out-of-date. We want a better camera that's all. My girlfriend and I are going on a pre-wedding honeymoon."

Momiji yelped in protest.

"I see." The employee smiled and stowed the camera away below the counter, "What would you like then?"

"...How's about that one?" He pointed to a camera behind the employee, in a glass case.

"Ah, excellent choice." The employee said, taking the camera out, "It's a very modern camera with HD capabilities and a 124x zoom."

"I'd like it to be independent."

"You don't want it to link to a computer?" The employee asked, shocked, "Well, no problem. For the old style fans, this camera is capable of taking films."

"Energy Source?"

"Solar Panels on the top, my good man."

"We'll take it."

"Here." The human said, handing Momiji her new camera, "That should make your Aya"

"Thank you." Momiji said, taking the camera from him.

As the 2 walked home, Momiji asked,

"I'm not too much of a bother am I?"


"Are you sure? All I've been doing..."

"Are simple mistakes that any Youkai would make." The human said, "If they ended up in the Human Realm."

Momiji blushed and looked away.

"...Come on. If it'll get you home sooner, let's find you a scoop."

The human was annoyed to hear about all the events that Momiji had ignored, but they managed to track down another bank robbery. The human explained to Momiji the strange weapons that the masked men were using.

"Guns. They propel small bullets at you at lethal speed."

"So it's like Danmaku?" Momiji asked.


"Oh. So why don't the hostages use Danmaku as well?"

"Human's can't use Danmaku with a gun."

"Eh? But these blue humans have guns as well. What are they doing?"

"They're trying for a negotiation, to lessen the casualties."

"Oh. AH. That reminds me. I can still use Danmaku can't I?"


"Then I'll be able to help can't I?"


Momiji smiled as she brought out a Spellcard, "Mountain Nomad-Expellee's Canaan!"