Chapter 37: Drunken Rambling


The human sighed as he walked through the streets. It was a cold night today, though that didn't stop him. As the streetlights turned red, he stopped and looked around, spotting a crumpled newspaper in the trash can in the corner. The headline marked it as 2 days old:

August 30

Free-Spirited Oni doing the only thing she knows how

Drinking at any random bar


With a sigh he crossed the streets and entered a bar. The human was greeted with song,

"My Bonnie lies over the Ocean!

My Bonnie lies over the Sea!

My Bonnie lies over the Ocean!

So bring back my Bonnie to me!"

The human watched as Suika sang with the other drunken men. She spotted him and grinned,

"Hey it's you! Come on in and have a beer with us!"

The human didn't answer.

"Hey, Suika!" One of the humans said, "You know that guy? Hic."

"Sort of, but not really!" Suika laughed.

The others laughed along with her, "What is he your ex-boyfriend or something?"

"Not even!"

As the drunken band laughed even harder, the human made his way to the other side of the bar and sat down.

"Can I get you anything?" The bartender asked.

"Do you have any Ginger Ale?"

"No alcohol?" The bartender smiled as she poured the drink.

"I think there's enough drunkards in this bar." the human said as he took out today's paper and a pencil.


"Whatcha doin?" Suika asked as she draped herself over the human's shoulder to stare at what he was doing.

"Crossword."

"Lemme at it." Suika said, gripping his shoulder.

"I don't think you're capable of doing something like this right now."

"LEMME AT IT!" Suika demanded as she took another swig from her glass.

"...Fine." he sighed, "Something that lacks definition-"

"YOU!"

Sukia began to burst into laughter again. The human frowned and went back to working on the crossword.

"Bartender lady!" Suika cried, "Another Hmm let's see-50 SHOTS!"

As the her alcoholic friends perked up at the thought of more drinks, the bartender frowned, "Are you sure you can handle more drinks? How are you going to get home?"

"I'll handle it." The human said, "I'll pay for those drinks too."

The bartender looked surprised, but began to prepare the drinks anyway. Suika stared at the human for a while before she smacked him on the back laughing, "You're not bad at all!"

"What does that mean?" the human frowned.

Suika just continued laughing as she made her way back to her friends.

"What happen Suika?" One of them called, "I thought you were going to get him to have some fun with us!"

"He's not good enough!" Suika called back, "Just leave him alone and he'll leave you alone too!"


"Stuck?" The Bartender asked.

The human looked up, "Huh? Oh. No."

"Are you sure?" The Bartender smiled slyly, "You've been stuck on that line for a while."

"The answer's on the tip of my tongue. I just can't get it out."

"Hm...are you looked for a Tesla Coil?"

The human looked surprised, "That's it alright."

"See?" The bartender smiled, "I can help."

"...Fine. Can you answer number 25?"

"Let's see..."

Suika glanced over and watched as the 2 of them work. One of her friends got up, "Hey! How about a few more-"

Suika punched him in the stomach. As the man gasped for air, another one of her friends laughed,

"Hey Suika, what's up with that? Just want a few more drinks."

"Let's not disturb them for now." Suika said.

"Huh? Then who's going to pour our drinks?"

"Maybe we have had enough drinks for tonight." Suika admitted.

"Eh?! You too Suika!" The guy who got punch cried as he got up, "You were the one what said the party won't ever end with you around."

"I know!" Suika cried as she stood up on the table, "And men, tonight has been a good night. Perhaps my best night ever! No one wants to continue partying more than me! But don't you see?! If this party never ends there will be no more parties! Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow night, a new party! Who knows, it might even better than tonight's! That's why we can't linger on this night's party! We must reach out and grasp tomorrow! For tomorrow night is a new party! A glorious party! And the night after that, another party! Each of them more glorious than the last! That's why we must wait till morrow's night! That is why we must survive and make the best of our lives! No matter what terrors awaits us in morrow's morn we'll just come back and party! For it's the Day that defines the Night! And it's this night's party that'll bring us through the light of day to the party of the next day!"

Her little crowd cried out, inspired to tears as they finished their drink for the night. Suika watched them with her own tears as she finished her own drink.

"I don't think that's a good lesson to teach them." the human said as he watched them cheer.


"What made you stop?" the human asked as he walked Suika home.

"Oh I found something much more fun."

"Oh really?" He frowned.

"Yep."

"Should I be worried?"

"Probably."

"Then I'll consider being worried."

"You'll consider?" Suika laughed, "What does that mean?"

The human didn't answer.

"Ahh...Man, you sure are a boring person." Suika sighed, "Don't you ever party?"

"I don't have anyone to party with."

"Wonder why."

"Are you saying I should drag humans into this?"

"Why not?"

"Youkais aren't exactly the stablest of beings."

"What're you talking about?"

"Well for one you can't stop drinking."

"Hey! I can stop anytime I want! I just don't want to."

"Mmhm."


"Morning."

"You're up surprisingly early." The human said.

"Yep." Suika smiled.

"No hangover?"

"Please. I'm an Oni."

"I know."

"Hehe."

As Suika drank from her gourd, the human prepared breakfast. When he returned, Suika smiled,

"Finally, a real meal."

"You haven't eaten in a while?" The human frowned.

"Not when you're living with the stingiest shrine maiden."

"I see."

As the 2 ate, the human spoke up, "So what was it that intrigued you enough to stop last night's party?"

"Hehe." Suika smirked, "I'm not telling."

"Fine."

"Wh...You don't want to know?"

"I already asked."

"You could've asked harder than that!"

"But you won't tell me anyway."

"B...But..."

"Why do you want me to ask so much?"

"Because..."

"Is it about me?"

Suika jolted and began to stuff her mouth with food.


"Don't you have ANYTHING alcoholic?" Suika frowned as she looked through the refrigerator and cabinets.

"Not for you I don't." The human said.

"Why not?"

"It's not like you need more alcohol."

"Mmmmm...Gather to me! This human's alcohol!"

Nothing happened.

"Wow you're weren't kidding." Suika frowned.

"See?"

"Gather to me, This Human's porn!"

Nothing happened.

"Geez, are you actually a human?" Suika sighed.

"Yes." The human said as he smacked Suika from behind with the Shichishito.


"I can't believe how much that hurt." Suika frowned as she rubbed the part where the shichishito struck her.

"It IS a Holy Artifact after all."

"And you used it on an oni even though you knew that?"

"It's enchantment isn't that strong."

"Still..."

The human looked around as they crossed the street, "...You're going to that bar again?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"I figured you might go somewhere else."

"I can't leave my men behind." Suika smirked and mumbled, "And this is the only place where I can have my fun with you."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"