This is something I was thinking about in moments of insomnia. It's a little one shot of Wish's life before she died.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Truth about forever Sarah Dessen. But I'd love to own Wes.

The Beauty of Chaos.

My Head is spinning like a top. It's like I cannot keep up with my body, but even still I can't help but smile. The plates in my hands sputter and shake nervously with each step towards the kitchen. "Why? Do they make us set up in the basement when the kitchen is right there?" my idle thoughts are thankfully, the music of the bachelor party. I keep walking very carefully trying not to drop the saucy plates. The basement doors are at the end of the hall. It's a simple walk if it wasn't being blocked by drunken men in their thirties. "Hey babe." They'd chirp as I past by. "I got a pair of meatballs I'm sure you'd love." I don't talk. I don't blush. I just wish I could flick them off, and ignore them. "And I got mace that's to die for!" hisses back a voice. It was always my sister backing me up. Delia had my back no matter what. No matter where I was in the room, I always knew she was ready to protect me at any cost. My sister was always so calm. I nodded to her and she smiled. She was leaning against the bar hands on her hips. She was smiling, but deep within herself I knew she was disapproving of me. With a sigh of relief I sat the stack of plates down on the counter and placed my hands on my growing belly. "Hey there, little one." I cooed softly. I was excited to be pregnant with baby number two, although Delia wasn't as enthralled. "You don't need to be working so hard." She told me over and over again. But the real reason wasn't me working. My sister knew I was physically tough, but it wasn't that that killed her so much. Mason: My husband, both of my children's father, my lover, the man was abused every drug known to mankind.

"Mommy?"

I felt myself jump as tiny hands wrapped around my leg and clutched on to me. "Oh. Dear God Wes. What are you doing?" I pried my son's hands off of me playfully and rustled his hair. He looked as beautiful as his father. I tried hard not to show my hurt by that fact.

"I gotcha mommy!" he announced with such a boasting pride, you'd think he'd won a gold metal. I laughed. "Indeed you did son." Wes nodded and smile. He was missing a tooth, and had a scar on his cheek from playing with Kristy. It was a month after her accident and seeing a bald girl just made Wes adore his playmate all the more. He had a good heart. Wes was the kind of kid to hand his heart out in his hand to anyone who needed it. I kissed his forehead. "Hey you be careful ok?" He nodded. "Hurry back momma, so we can go see daddy."

I froze. Back home? Would Mason be high still? I was too scared to find out. I had to shield Wes and Number two fro harm. Even if it meant breaking my heart. "Actually, Wesley you're going to stay with Aunt Delia ok?"

He pouted. He opened his little mouth to protest, but I guess he sensed something because he sat on the floor and went back to his trucks. "Be back later."I said and picked up a tray of mini Winnies.

That night I spilled red whine on their white carpet, got felt up, watched my sister cuss out many customers and drove home without full pay. Delia took Wes home with her, and I took the brave leap to take car of my drug addict husband. Mason's heart rate was low and I ending up spending the night in the ER. I begged Delia to not let Wes know and she did. She would anything I asked of her. My life was that circle of sadness. I felt like my job as a wife and mother were nothing. I couldn't be good enough for my babies . I couldn't even keep Mason sober. Why was I worthless? Tear swelled into my eyes

Suddenly I felt a shove in my abdomen. Ouch! I looked down. Number two was usually so mellow. Was it mad at me for my mistakes as well? Then it went kicking like crazy. I doubled over, gripping the hospital bed. Mason stirred, but never woke up. Was it something I said? The kicking became unbearable. It was like the baby and I was engaged in ultimate game of say uncle. "Ok ok! I'm not worthless!" I choked out. And like magic it stopped. I felt tears well up. I looked at my baby. "I'm worth it?" I asked it aloud as if I was awaiting a sign. I could almost hear my baby sigh happily. From that day on I promised myself that I wouldn't let life get in the way of my life. my son. My unborn. My sister and Wish. All that choas was my life and I vowed to enjoy every moment of it. Till death itself takes me away. I will live. My smile mixed in with my tears as I rubbed my tummy. I got up kissed mason on the forehead. Then I turned and walked out the door to go see my son and live our lives .

The end. It's a little sad knowing Wish's fate. But still hope you enjoyed! Please review kindly.