This is the first HP fic I've written, and to say that I'm nervous would be a understatement.
Please, feel free to read!
Disclaimer. I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. It's all J.K's! lucky bitch.
"Get off me!" Harry managed to gasp out. He was being squished to death by something heavy that had suddenly appeared on top of him. It was dark and the air smelled musty, as if he didn't have enough trouble breathing in the first place.
"Potter?" A very familiar voice came from above him, speaking straight into his ear, a warm breath fanning over his neck. Harry stopped his squirming trying to get the other person off, blinking in shock.
"Malfoy?" his voice sounded choked and his mouth was suddenly awfully dry. He tried swallowing but it didn't help. His mouth still felt suddenly drier than the Sahara desert. They lay there in a stunned silence for a second, and Harry's thoughts distantly wandered to Malfoy's body pressed so close against his in the darkness. But it didn't take long before he realized who was lying on top of him.
His eyes widened and he could hear a quiet gasp, and then they were both scrambling off each other, trying to get as far away as they could. But that was fairly impossible as there were walls pressing in on them. The space they were trapped in seemed to be rather tiny, and Harry could still feel Malfoy's leg pressed against his.
"What the fuck did you do?" Harry could imagine the sneer on the blonds face even though he couldn't see it, and scowled right back, even though he gleefully noted the slight tenor of panic under the venom.
This had not been his fucking fault. He had been walking peacefully down the third floor corridor where he had just left Hermione and Ron in the library, much to Ron's charging, planning on an even more peaceful afternoon in the Room of Requirement. The hall had been deserted when he ducked behind a tapestry that concealed a passage to the seventh floor. Nothing odd or out of the ordinary, at all.
The castle was fairly deserted on winter holidays, almost everyone had gone home to spend Christmas with their family, and Harry found himself enjoying the quiet immensely, ignoring the bitter feelings of longing. There was no way he would be going to the Dursley's. He would be thrown back out again if he showed up on their doorstep before summer. No guarantees he wouldn't be thrown out even then.
He had reached the painting of Barnabas the Barmy and had stopped to think about what he would like to spend the rest of his day doing. But before he could start pacing, the door materialized and opened gradually. He stared at it for a second, and then slowly reached forward, discharging every warning bell going off in his head. He had just touched the golden door handle and yanked the door open when a sudden force toppled him forwards, making him ram into something hard. He met shocked grey eyes before the room seemed to suck him in, taking the grey eyed person with him.
And now here he was. In a dark space that looked oddly familiar now that his eyes had somewhat adjusted to the darkness, with Draco Malfoy. And he had no idea how he would get the fuck out of here.
"Nothing? Do you think I'm fucking stupid? You rammed into me and suddenly I'm sucked into this cupboard with you-"
"Where?" Harry's mind had seemed to freeze, refusing to think further than the darkness around him.
"What? What do you mean where? It's small, it's musty and it's dark. What else could it be than a cupboard?"
A cupboard. A fucking cupboard. Why did the room have to transform into a cupboard, of all the things it could do.
Harry let out a shaky breath pressing his back even further into the wall behind him. His lungs seemed to have stopped working, and he couldn't figure out how to breathe. And from somewhere, deep in his head an angry shout echoed, bringing a familiar sense of dread with it, settling in his stomach, making his legs turn into lead.
"You dare come back here after what you did last summer? You are nothing but a worthless freak! Dudley has his room back, and so will you!" He had spent the rest of the summer holiday cleaning, weeding, cooking and doing other chores before he was sent back into the cupboard with a stale piece of bread and some water. The cupboard seemed even smaller now after so many years, but the fact that he could still stand in there showed how short he was. Ron would have to kneel to fit in, but Harry just had to duck.
He had lost so much weight that you could see his bones sticking out trough his pale skin at the end of the summer, and uncle Vernon had struck him enough to bruise him, but no one seemed to notice. Harry had made sure to change and shower when no one could get a chance to catch a glimpse of his thin and battered body. It had taken most of the first semester to bulk up again, but Harry was now quite happy to say that the lean muscles he had surprisingly developed last year playing Quidditch were now back.
Draco, who had noticed the unnatural quietness, had finally realized that the Gryffindor wasn't breathing and was now holding his lit wand close to Potter's face. The brave Gryffindor seemed to be having some sort of panic attack. He waited for a minute, but when Potter gave no other sign of being alive then some uncontrolled trembling, some of Draco's anger seemed to melt away, making room for some apprehension to take its place.
"Potter?" a flinch, but nothing else that indicated that Potter had heard him. What was going on? Potter had never acted this way. So quiet and… frightened. Draco had never seen the Gryffindor prat scared, and now he seemed to be fucking terrified.
"Potter, breathe!" he flinched again, pressing himself further away, bringing his legs to his chest. Draco stared on bewildered, not having the slightest clue of what he was supposed to do.
"Potter? Potter! Potter! Answer me dammit?" Draco cursed under his breath, reaching out to shake the Gryffindor by his shoulders, but as soon as he touched him, Potter seemed to whimper and tucked himself into a ball, tucking his head under his arms, still trembling slightly.
"HARRY POTTER!" Draco bellowed, utterly panicked now, and out of ideas of how to get the other one to respond. This was seriously fucking scaring him.
The Gryffindor seemed to jump at least a foot into the air, a sharp gasp escaping him, his head popping up, and Draco could see the tear stained face and quickly drew back.
Potter was crying? What the fuck was happening? Was he knocked unconscious by that git and he was now lying somewhere hallucinating. He pinched himself, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
Harry was staring horrified at Malfoy who was watching him quite incredulously. Had he just had a complete breakdown in front of his school rival, in a small cupboard- no, let's not go there again- in a tiny room, and he had no way to escape the confrontation that was sure to come.
They stared at each other for a beat longer, and Harry flattened his hair covering his scar almost on instinct. That's when his hand came in contact with something wet on his face. Fuck. Harry frantically tried to wipe away the tears, all the while trying not to think of all the new material Malfoy now had for his taunts.
The Boy Who fucking Weeps definitely had a ring to it.
How had he just lost control like that? All he could see was the darkness, and when he felt the walls pressing in on him he just lost it. He hated feeling trapped, and being in that small cupboard under the stairs had been both heaven and hell. Heaven because neither Dudley nor uncle Vernon bothered him there, but also hell because it was his own personal little prison.
"What just happened?" The question was more like a demand, but it lacked the usual scorn and Harry found himself almost pondering how to answer. He stopped himself at the last minute and scowled at the blond Slytherin, who had just witnessed one of his weakest moments.
"Nothing of your concern" he stated as coldly as he could, all the while reminding himself that this was Hogwarts and that he wouldn't get hurt in this tiny room. No muggle could get in on the grounds… or could they? Dumbledore wouldn't let the Dursley's get inside the castle, would he? If they claimed wanting to see him… No, muggles weren't allowed at Hogwarts.
"Don't try that with me Potter. You were thoroughly freaking out, you weren't fucking breathing and you didn't react to anything. You were even cryin-"
"Yeah, so! Not all of us like small confined spaces" Draco stared at him for a moment, before narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
"Why would you be afraid of… cupboards?" he noted how Potter flinched again when he said cupboard. But oddly enough he didn't have the slightest urge to call him out on it, what was happening? This place was changing him.
It was clearly something serious, or Potter wouldn't be acting this way. But he did want a fucking explanation. His heart was still racing with adrenaline, even though he would never admit it to anyone, Potter's display had seriously freaked him out.
"So you're fearful of small spaces. Why?" he wasn't expecting an answer, and was readying himself for weaseling it out of Potter. He did have the whole day before him, who knew when he'd get out of here.
"It's-fuck" Potter seemed to be struggling with something, and was gesturing around the darkness with his arms, looking mighty uncomfortable, and Draco wondered what the fuck was going on.
"Afraid of the bogeyman or something?" Draco was only joking, but Potter seemed to choke and pale, looking frantically around himself. He was now deathly curious. What was Potter's deal?
"Potter, what is going on?" He somehow managed to keep his tone light, not portraying any of the interest he was feeling. He watched as emotions flickered over Potter's face, too fast for him to understand. Finally the Gryffindor looked up from his lap, locking his gaze with the Slytherin. And what he saw there must have been what he needed to spill.
Harry looked down at his lap again, distractedly picking at a hole in his trousers. Was he really going to tell Draco Malfoy, the bane of his existence, about his cupboard? Well it couldn't really hurt; Malfoy had already seen him crying. And he much rather watch Malfoy's gloating reaction than Hermione's or Ron's pity. Harry hated pity.
Harry gulped, and before he could back out he closed his eyes and blurted it out.
"I-usedtoliveinacupboard" Draco stared bemused at the Gryffindor who was now sitting ram straight, eyes closed and hands fisted forcefully. Potter had mumbled something unintelligible and was now looking ready for someone to wallop him.
"What? You talk too fast Potter, I didn't understand you" Draco was giving a huge effort staying civil, when actually he just wanted to demand an answer and be done with it. Potter seemed to peek up at him from behind his dark fringe, biting his lip. Draco stared for a moment, before shaking himself. Now was not the time for that.
"Potter, I'm waiting" he raised an eyebrow and was stunned when Potter almost smiled. His astonishment must have shown because Potter did smile and snorted. Draco was too shocked to care that he was the one being laughed at. Potter smiled at him. At him.
Harry Potter just smiled at Draco Malfoy. He would have blushed if his surname wasn't Malfoy. But he was a Malfoy so he quickly wiped of the shock and settled into a more neutral look. Harry- no, Potter was watching him, seeming relaxed for the first time since they had been sucked in here. How long ago that had been, he wondered. Surely someone would notice they were missing.
Draco sighed. No one would notice that he was missing for a long time. He had spent so much time cooped up alone somewhere that they had stopped bothering him, and besides almost everyone were home for Christmas. And he knew that Potter had probably come here telling his friends to leave him alone, it wouldn't be the first time.
"I… used to live in a cupboard" Draco strained his ears to hear the whispered mumbling, and it took him a couple of seconds to comprehend what Potter was saying, but when he did…
"WHAT?" Harry winced at the sharp sound of Malfoy's shout, barely repressing the urge to cover his ears. He hadn't told Malfoy that he still lived in a cupboard, no need to release the whole sob story. So what if the Boy Who Lived was an abused freak who didn't know how to stand up for himself to insignificant muggles. He would save them all, no one cared what happened to him otherwise.
"Yeah so, I'm allowed to be a bit freaked out when I'm suddenly locked into one-" Malfoy raised a hand to shush him, looking quite outraged suddenly. Harry was too shocked to feel indignant. This was not the reaction he had been expecting.
"Back up a little, are you saying that you live in a cupboard? And no one has done anything!"
"I used to-" Draco shushed the Gryffindor again.
"Don't lie. I can see that's not true. So that is the cause for your changed appearance after every summer." Draco looked at Potter and could visibly see the changes since start of term. Potter always seemed to be smaller and quieter after the summer, the complete opposite to everyone else returning to the school. Draco had watched Potter become more confident and strong again. He had noticed the slight limp disappear. But had he ever thought all that was because of some muggles?
No. A Quidditch accident or something similar had always seemed more plausible.
Potter was supposed to be treated like a king at home. The muggles would be kneeling in front of him, waiting for orders and showering him in gifts and praise. But if what the Gryffindor was saying was true and judging by the panic attack earlier, Potter wasn't lying. So that meant that… Potter was abused?
Draco tried very hard to suppress the mad urge to laugh. The saviour of the wizarding world was abused.
Draco couldn't wrap his head around it, it just didn't make sense. There had never been any indicators of- well there had been, but no one had ever thought to check it out, or ever been observant enough to really fucking notice them. It just wasn't possible that Harry Potter was mistreated by his muggle relatives. Clearly they had been wrong.
"W-what?" Harry managed to stutter out. Malfoy had said it so matter-of-factly, so nonchalantly. 'So that is the cause' Like he had suspected all along. For some reason this made Harry's insides flare up. What right did Malfoy have to act fucking nonchalant about Harry's uncle beating him up and locking him in a fucking cupboard? Well Malfoy didn't know about the beating up part, but still! Didn't Malfoy realize that this wasn't really anything that Harry liked to talk about? God knows what would happen if someone found out. Harry shuddered at the mere thought of it.
But what was he going to do about Malfoy? He wasn't reacting like Harry had expected. It was almost like Malfoy was angry. But about what?
"Changed? What do you mean?" Draco felt quite incredulous. Was Potter blind? Did he not see how he had changed over the last months? He had definitely grown several inches, he was less pale, and didn't look like he was recovering from a severe illness anymore.
His eyes seemed brighter even though they still scrutinized everything just as cautiously, and he smiled a lot more, and when he smiled the people around him couldn't help but join in, there was just something about Harr- Potter that made you want to… well in Draco's case strip naked and shag the Gryffindor senseless, but… yeah. Draco looked Potter up and down, well all that he could see in the partial darkness, but quickly looked away when he met two curious green eyes. Damn him.
He didn't look like a malnourished twig anymore, and that arse- Draco broke off. This was not the time to get swept up in his Harry Potter fantasies, because believe me they could distract him for hours. And Draco needed to be alert now if he was going to coax out anything else from the stubborn prat. Why hadn't he told anyone? He was the Boy Who Lived for fucks sake. They would all bend over backwards for him.
"Get yourself a bloody mirror Potter. Still, back to the important stuff. Why haven't you told anyone?" Draco scowled when Potter burst out laughing, even thought it was hard keeping his face in a frown when the glorious sound of Potter's laughter danced in the air between them. It wasn't something that anyone except the weasel and mudblood got to hear that often. Potter was usually very quiet when surrounded by a lot of people.
"What? Stop laughing you git, I fail to realize what is so funny" Potter seemingly tried to breathe calmly, only letting a couple of snorts escape. Draco watched impatiently as the Gryffindor closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them, supposedly composed enough to act like a normal human being who was actually concerned about their wellbeing.
"It's just that- well, no offence Malfoy, but we have never gotten along, right?" Harry didn't wait for a response. "And to think that you are actually the first person I ever told that… it's just kind of ironic isn't it?" Harry chuckled again at the absurdity of the situation. Never in a million years would he have guessed that he would confess one of his most carefully guarded secrets to Malfoy of all people.
"I still fail to see what's so funny, Potter" Harry shook his head slowly, trying unsuccessfully to make sense of his own thoughts.
"Well not funny… but you have to admit that this is weird." Malfoy looked quite exasperated by now, and Harry decided it was time for him to shut the fuck up.
Draco stared at the Gryffindor for a couple of seconds. Then he shook his head, trying quite unsuccessfully to rid his head of the fluffy feeling that had enveloped him when Potter said he was the first one who he had ever told.
"Why… did you tell me? Of all people in this school, why did you tell me?" Potter shrugged hanging his head, and Draco felt that some more coaxing was going to be needed. But then Potter abruptly looked up, locking their gaze and smiled tentatively, Draco was again too shocked to do much more than stare.
"I thought you were one of the only ones who wouldn't pity me. Well, there's Snape… but you know." Harry shrugged and started picking at the whole in his trouser leg again. The thought of him telling Snape about the Dursley's was laughable and quite honestly scary. How would the potions professor react, Harry didn't know and frankly didn't want to find out either.
"And what am I supposed to do? Why didn't you tell Weasley or Granger? They would have gone to Dumbledore and sorted everything out, what I don't understand is why you haven't done it yourself-"
"I can't tell Dumbledore! And besides there's no point in anyone finding out, I would still have to go to the Dursley's, that's just how it is"
"They wouldn't make you go back there! Even the daftest extreme muggle-loving fool would see that it's not bloody safe!"
"You don't know anything about my life Malfoy! Don't you think Dumbledore knows?"
"What? You just said that you can't tell him! You're not making any sense for fucks sake-"
"Well, I've lived there all my life and the Dursley's were pretty tame this summer if you compare to the past…" Malfoy's eyes widened and Harry winced. "A-and anyway, you don't think that Dumbledore wouldn't have had someone check on me… so he must have known, but…" Harry faltered. He didn't like to think that the Headmaster had always known how the Dursley's treated him, but never done anything about it.
"So are you saying that Dumbledore knew all along but never did anything?" Harry shrugged, but when he saw that the Slytherin was railing up again, he quickly backpedalled.
"I mean I'm not sure, and I just never wanted to confirm anything by saying something. It's important that I go back to the Dursley's. And it's only one more summer and then I'll be rid off them forever" Harry felt like he was convincing himself more than Malfoy, but he had had the same argument a thousand times before with himself, and he saw no solution. He would just have to survive, he thought bitterly to himself, like he always did.
Draco watched as Potter folded his arms over his knees, resting his head on top. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Comfort the other boy, or maybe just try to assure him. Draco bit his lip, and slowly inched closer to Potter… well alright, Harry. The raven haired head snapped up when Draco cleared his throat, now kneeling in front of the Gryffindor. Dark grey met emerald green and for a moment they just sat there, lost in each other even as that sounded too sappy for Draco's taste.
Slowly Draco raised his hand and placed a comforting hand on the other boys arm, gauging Harry's reaction as he did so. The Gryffindor seemed to cringe slightly, but didn't move away and their eyes never strayed from each other. Draco smiled slightly and Harry felt the corners of his mouth curl the tiniest bit.
"It can't be that bad, right?" Draco felt like slapping himself when the words slipped out. He had a feeling that yes; it was that bad and most probably much worse.
Harry snorted humourlessly before grumbling when he could feel his eyes sting, long forgotten memories rising to the surface. Yeah, not that bad.
"I'm bruised but alive, could be worse I suppose" Malfoy looked over at him puzzled, and Harry winced at his wording.
"Bruised? They didn't… I mean they never hit you right?" Harry kept silent, averting his eyes from Malfoy who was now crouching close to him, so close in fact that Harry could practically feel the Slytherin's breath on his face. "Merlin! They did, didn't they?" Harry smiled sadly, shrugging noncommittally, breaking their gaze and looking down at his lap again.
Before Draco knew what he was doing, his hand reached forward and grabbed Harry's chin, tilting his head back up so he could look at him, his angry rant dying in his throat when their eyes met. Harry gasped when he noticed how close they were, noses almost touching because Draco had unconsciously moved forward. Harry breathed in sharply but didn't try to turn away.
The both stayed quiet for a long time, just marvelling at the electric pulse in the air around them, crackling in the darkness. Malfoy slowly moved forward, tilting his head so his forehead was touching Harry's, his cool breath fanning over Harry's face, sending sweet flutters to Harry's heart. It was suddenly very hot but then Harry blinked and the moment was gone. Malfoy leaned back again, and Harry was left gasping for breath.
Malfoy had almost kissed him. Malfoy. Harry didn't get much more chance to investigate this new development, that oddly enough didn't disgust him as much as it should. It didn't awake any revulsion at all in fact.
"Well umm…" Malfoy looked flushed and embarrassed, and Harry marvelled at the sight, Draco Malfoy was blushing. He didn't say anything, but let the blonde try to compose himself, because oddly enough Harry didn't feel very embarrassed at all, he could very well be smirking right now. He had finally found a way to get Malfoy flustered, and damn right was he going to use it.
"I am going to tell Dumbledore as soon as I get out of here, and there's-" Harry cut Malfoy off by grabbing his Slytherin tie and yanking him forwards so their lips crashed together. They both moaned at the sudden contact and Malfoy melted into the other boy's embrace. No need fighting what he had wished for since he laid eyes on the Gryffindor five months ago.
Neither one noticed the darkness turn lighter nor the constricting walls disappearing from around them, all the two boys could focus on was each other and the feeling of muscles flexing under their fingertips. Hands fisted in hair and tongues dancing together exploring every inch they could reach. They barely acknowledged the fact that they were now sprawled on the floor lying on top of each other, Harry pining Malfoy to the ground and Malfoy's legs wrapping themselves loosely around the Gryffindor's waist. So naturally they didn't hear the footsteps heading their way. If they did, maybe they would have had time to hide but as it was-
"POTTER! MALFOY! What do you think you're- STOP THIS INSTANT!" Harry jerked his lips off Malfoy and looked around, his whole body freezing when his eyes registered the dark looming figure of the potions professor towering over them.
"Dumbledore's office, NOW!"
A/N so it's done! This took me longer than I had anticipated writing but I'm actually quite proud of it. I always thought that it was wrong how little attention fics show to Harry's past, and I wanted to write a reaction to it. And because I've been reading a lot of Drarry fics lately, this came out almost on its own.
Please tell me what you think because I'm thinking of starting a new story, in the Harry Potter universe this time. Up till now I've always thought that you shouldn't meddle with J.K's work because she is amazing and the details and plots she writes… pheeew! And I really didn't want to ruin it. But… I guess everything changes and when a plot bunny hits, it hits hard!
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!