A.N. So I would just like to apologize. I keep saying I'm going to update sooner and I don't. However, I have good news! I have finished writing this story, so updates should be a lot quicker. Yay!

To say my life sucks would be an understatement. No really, my life is depressing, horrible and any other negative word one can put in there. I know what you're thinking, my life can't be that bad, and if you compare it to the starving human beings around the world or to the people who are in the sex slave trade, or to someone who is slowly dying of cancer, you're probably right. But it's not puppies and rainbows either.

Okay, okay to be perfectly honest, my life isn't that bad. Up until today it was pretty decent actually. I mean if you ignore that my parents named me Scorpius Hyperion, and that my father and grandfather were once death eaters working for the most evil wizard of the past century if not all time my life hasn't been too bad. Well, other than the fact that I have to deal with my grandfather who still isn't the nicest person in the world despite somehow getting off for being Voldemort's lackey. To say that we have different views on certain issues, thus making life uncomfortable is pretty spot on. Of course he still gets me some really nice presents, which may have something to do with Grandmother wanting to spoil her only grandson rotten.

Luckily for me, most of the public seems to realize I wasn't actually around for the war and that I haven't gone around spouting pureblood nonsense or championing the right to make muggles our slaves so they pretty much leave me alone. Granted I sometimes feel that they're watching me out of the corner of their eyes, getting ready to hex me if I even show any signs of doing something they consider evil, but I can handle that. Of course it did not help that I was placed into Slytherin, but so was Albus Potter. This helped to draw the public's eye away from me, so of course I'm grateful to Al for that. I can still remember the public's reaction to their darling savior's son being placed into Slytherin. The school received so many owls from concerned citizens who felt that it must have been a mistake. If the sorting hat were a person, I would have been very concerned for its safety. Surprisingly from what I can tell his father seems pretty relaxed about it, but than again considering how many times Harry Potter has been hit with the killing curse that may have something to do with it.

Of course on the plus side, being a Malfoy and in Slytherin somehow seemed to scream to girls that I was a bad boy and to jump my bones. That and my dashing good looks of course. I know what you're thinking, that I'm some sort of stuck up womanizer and I jump from girl to girl. Well for your information that is not true. I am not stuck up!

Okay, maybe a little at times, but with my grades, smashing good looks and Quidditch skills I can get away with it. Also, not really a womanizer, I've had two girlfriends, one lasted for a few weeks and the other for two months.

I know I know, you're wondering about why my life is so awful and why if I'm so awesome I haven't had many relationships or done the whole going from girl to girl thing. I totally could too; however it has been pointed out to me that doing so is not really fair or nice or anything positive at all. Best friends are such downers at times, which brings me to the most awful part of my life, my best friend. I know you're asking, how is my best friend related to the most awful part of my life? Well my best friend is the reason that I haven't been in many relationships or done the whole womanizer thing, because when you're in love with your best friend since you're 12 years old anyone else just doesn't work. Sigh.

Oh wait no! Albus Potter is not my best friend. I mean we get along and all, but no. His cousin is the one that I'm in love with. She's a girl. Yes, I'm sure she's definitely a girl, I'm not into blokes. To be more specific since he has like a million cousins, Rose Weasley is my best friend and love of my life. Yes I did sound a bit girly there, but I'm awesome so I can sound as girly as I want.

Anyways, Rose Weasley is the smartest, funniest, most gorgeous girl on the face of the planet. Yes, it is entirely possible, I may be slightly biased. She has long red curls and the most gorgeous brown eyes and such long legsā€¦. Yes a bit girly again, but if you saw her, and were a bloke or a lesbian you'd think so too. Actually on second thought, I take that back, only I can look at her like that, you try and I'll do something horrible to you.

Right so the horrible part. Rose just told me she's pregnant, and considering that despite my awesomeness and because of her I'm still a virgin, I know that I'm definitely not the father.