(It's taken AGEEEESSS I know, I am sorry but finally I managed to finish this story. This is the last chapter, yes I know I said there would be two but I did not need the other one.
I hope you will read this and still comment on it and I really hope everyone enjoyed this story. I would love to know if you got emotional when reading this, I sure did when I wrote it.
Anyway, I present you with the last instalment. Goodbye Kurai and farewell all!)
Chapter 28: Without you
A cool yet gentle breeze tousled her hair as she was consumed by a peaceful slumber. This was just like heaven to her, this was the perfection she had always wanted and now it was hers. She could almost literally hold it in her hands and make it hers for an eternity. Kurai, he was the man she loved with all her heart and her dream world was filled with nothing but sunshine and colour. As her beautiful azure eyes flickered slightly she perceived the glistening reflection of the sun's large orb in the lake nearby. A quiet groan escaped her lips as she slowly rubbed her eyes with her hand. Dreams, this was a place where she could also be with Kurai even when she was not awake. He was always here, without fail. Always there to make her smile, to make her heart melt like deep rich chocolate under the burning heat he emitted.
Tohru struggled to manoeuvre into a sitting position as her orbs of blue darted about the landscape. It was a beautiful field, full of fresh daises and daffodils, all swaying in the gentle breeze that teased them playfully. The warmth the sun radiated heated up her pale skin and gave her a tingling sensation all throughout her being and her eyes continued to scan the surroundings, subconsciously looking for her man. She continued looking for some time as she heard the soft melodies of birds overhead and felt the cool refreshing breeze. This was just so perfect but right now loneliness was starting to seep into her bones. Where was Kurai? Why was he not here?
"Kurai, are you here?" Tohru called out, hoping that by calling for him he would appear just like he usually did. She knew that he was beside her in the bed as they had spent the night together yet why was he absent from her dream-scape? Feeling slightly troubled and very alone she turned her gaze to the grass and started to pull out flowers. What made him not want to come and be here with her? As time lingered on and her dream world started to darken with the setting sun she curled up on the grass and sighed. Her eyes narrowed as still he did not arrive, she waited so long and his figure still evaded her.
'Why... why have you not come to me... Kurai?' she mentally said to herself, feeling her heart begin to get heavier as every second passed. Her hand subconsciously clutched at her chest and rested it there where her heart resided, feeling it beat uneasily. It needed him, it wanted him here because without him a part of her was missing and even if this was only a dream it still mattered to her. Closing her eyes she felt herself begin to get more distressed as the breeze tousled her hair softly. She allowed newly formed tears escape her eyes and make tracks down her perfect face. She was so lost without him, her hands felt empty without holding his, her heart felt heavy when he was not around and as the dream-scape started to dissipate the only sounds that lulled her out of the dream were the sounds of her own soft cries.
The sunlight gently stirred her from her slumber as it shone on her face, lighting up how perfect it was. It shimmered under the golden rays as the tears that she shed in her dreams scarred her cheeks and her hands clutched the pillow tightly. Her subconscious was troubled and needed comfort and it found that needed comfort from the pillow. Her brow crinkled as her eyes flickered open, their azure colouring sparkling in the sunlight. As her gaze adjusted to the light in the room she felt an emptiness deep within and her heart still felt heavy. Closing her eyes tightly, desperately clinging onto hope she stretched out her leg, hoping to feel his warmth nearby, that he was still here. That warmth evaded her, it was not here and she clutched the pillow harder. She knew that Kurai would not just not visit her dream world unless he was not around to do so and that was the case. Slowly and reluctantly she twisted in her bed, turning over to face the spot where he resided last night. It was empty yet she still saw the creases in the pillow where he had been.
'Oh... Kurai...' She mentally whimpered as she reached out her hand to his side of the bed and slowly stroked the creases of where his body once lay. He had left without her after a night that was so perfect and now everything was crashing around her. The only thing she felt was sadness and sorrow and so buried her head in the pillow, allowing her tears to be the only comfort to her. She loved him with all her being and without even saying goodbye he had just left. How would she be able to cope without seeing his beautiful face, that gorgeous smile, to feel his strong arms around her. Now she knew what it was like to feel so alone, so afraid, so lost.
A sudden knock at the door made her leap up in fright and clutch the bed covers tightly to her body. Her eyes sparkling with fresh tears that longed to escape to find safety down her cheeks as her heart emitted a pain she had never felt before.
"Ms. Honda, are you alright?" It was Yuki, Yuki's soft serene voice. As his voice entered her ears she closed her eyes and continued to cry into her hands, holding the bed sheets tightly in a sheer attempt to offer some form of comfort. While sorrow consumed her fragile form the knocking continued;
"Ms. Honda, are you awake? Please answer me, I am worried" Tohru tried her utmost to calm down her cries and furiously wiped her face. She did not want to worry anyone or trouble anyone so with a small voice she muttered;
"Yes... I'm alright"
"May I come in, I have something to tell you" She wiped her face continually, trying to get rid of the signs of sorrow that scarred her face. If Yuki knew she had been crying he would only fret over her and she did not want that. She wanted him to be happy with his own life and not to stress over her. Eventually after some time she called out;
"Yes, of course"
Her eyes watched as the tall slim figure of Yuki entered her abode and he smiled at her. It was a nervous smile, not the same as she was used to. Did he perhaps know something. Slowly she pulled the covers of the bed closer as she watched him sit down at the edge of her bed, looking at her intently. He could tell how she felt, she was afraid, upset and lost and he hoped that perhaps he could offer her a solution.
"Tohru... I have something for you" Yuki's dark sincere eyes befell on the crushed girl as she looked away, a mere shadow of her former self. She could not even muster the courage to speak in case her voice failed her completely and she broke down once more. He placed his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small package.
"It is addressed to you" he responded as her glistening eyes gazed at the small present he held in his hand. As her hands nervously reached out to the package she felt her heart sink and get evermore heavier with each breath. She knew deep within she would never see him again, he never intended on taking her with him when he left. Was it because she was a burden? As those thoughts raced through her head she felt herself begin to get more upset and she longed to cry and be comforted. To show the world she was not okay, that she was in fact hurt and needed someone to lean on, someone to be there for her.
Slowly she opened the packaging and it revealed a letter which was also addressed to her. She clutched it tightly, her heart told her this was off Kurai, it was the last thing she would ever have off him and she swallowed hard.
"Who is it from?" Yuki enquired curiously as the sunlight gently flooded her abode, illuminating both their faces with its golden light. Struggling to speak she mumbled the words;
"It's... from Kurai" Yuki's eyes widened when she spoke of whom sent the package. Wasn't Kurai still here? He was sure that both him and Tohru planned on making a fresh start together so none of this made much sense to him. Tohru looked away from her companion and began reading the words that scarred the page as her hands trembled.
Dear beloved Tohru,
I know you will be reading this wanting so many answers and the only answer that I can give you is that I am sorry. I could not forgive myself for taking you away from the people who care so much about you just to satisfy my own selfish needs. You need to be surrounded by people who will look after you and make you happy and I am afraid I cannot do that. As you know my time here is very limited and the short time I have spent with you has been the best moments of my life which I shall never forget.
Please, try to forgive my actions. I never intended for you to be upset to my leaving. I have done this for you, Tohru. I want you to live a normal and carefree life, not having to worry if I am going to be hurt or if people are going to kill me. You do not deserve that, you deserve to be happy. Though you may feel sad right now please don't, time will pass and someone better than I will make you happier and give you what I could not.
I will however always love you and as the half Kitsune I am I have pledged my heart only to you. No-one else in this universe will have my affections and if ever you feel alone or feel like giving up, don't. No matter where you are I am always here beside you. You are one very special girl and you have changed my life for the better, you opened my eyes and showed me that I am not a wretched monster. I am free, I am unique and I am Kurai so I will live that life and live the way you showed me. I also want the Sohma's to know I would never hate them even after everything they have put me through. They will have my forgiveness as a parting gift.
I also want to thank Yuki for giving me the chance to prove I was not how the others portrayed me to be as. He is a genuine guy and he will look after you, just like Kyo will. He loves you so much Tohru, probably more than anyone in the entire world and you can rely on him. Please, promise me you will be happy even if I am not around. I will always miss you no matter what and you will always be in my heart.
Well, I think I have rambled enough and once again I am so sorry for doing this to you Tohru. I love you so much and that is the reason for my actions. I hope that my parting gift will give you some form of comfort in your days of need. I will never see you again but my heart will only ever beat for you, my love.
Your one and only
Her body trembled as she read the last words and tears splashed down from her eyes onto the paper. He was really gone and he was never going to come back for her. Even though he said he left for her in her own head she didn't think like that. Kurai was her world and she wanted to tackle all his problems together but he would not even allow her to do that. As she took one final look at the paper she noticed something glistening in the package. Slowly a trembling hand reached for it and lifted the item out of the package. It's pure white orbs glistened as the sun reflected off them. It was none other than Kurai's necklace that he wore to keep himself from transforming, the necklace that held his entire lifeforce.
"Oh... Kurai!" She screamed out in pain, holding the necklace close to her chest as she cried loudly. Yuki witnessed her pain and all he could do was hold her close to him as she cried for her love. Her heart crumbling away inside her chest as the beads rested against the place it rested, trying to comfort in some form. As the sunlight continued to flood the room Yuki held her, rocking her backwards and forwards like a child, trying to calm her down. Holding the beads tightly she knew this was the only thing she had left of Kurai, the thing that was the closest thing to his heart. He gave it to her yet he would not accept hers. He would always be the love of her life, no matter how much time passed.
Where are you now? Are you lost? Will I find you again? Are you alone? Are you afraid? Are you searching for me? Why did you go? I had to stay. Now I'm reaching for you. Will you wait? Will you wait? Will I see you again?