Disclaimer: Hello again, Victoria here. Here to bring you new and used, and personally overstated, statements of non-ownership. That I, DeaThaed, do not own anything from the Original Harry Potter universe as constructed by J.K. Rowling; including but not limited to: original characters, plot, places, and ideas. However anything not of the original universe is a product of a twisted, over-caffeinated, broken mind. Of the onetime offer to state (again I might add) that it is free. No down payment for the rest of life! Thank you for listening to this FanFiction mandatory broadcast. Enjoy your reading and have a wonderful day, morning, afternoon, evening, night… bloody hell! Whatever time it is you decide to interpret fics of the fan variety.

Warning: Danger! Danger! Passing this point means you have read the above, below, and in-between statements written for your convenience and have consented that; yes, you do know that this fic is possibly written by someone that has ingested the more than recommended dose of caffeine and is possibly mad. That yes, you do know that this fic, and all fics written by the above mad person, are indeed of the slash variety and will possibly contain segments not meant for those under the age of consent. By passing this point you state that the material below will in no way give offense and that you are fully aware that the material will contain very controversial material and you will not hinder the writer by posting any comments or opinions in the flame variety. By passing this point if you, the reader, by chance decide to ignore said warning statements are liable, by fault of your own, to a verbal lashing by said mad author. Because by passing this point you are agreeing that you are taking full responsibility for something YOU, the reader, decided to do, and are in no way shape or form being made to read this fic or any other fics by aforementioned author. (This Authors ESP doesn't quite work that way) Thank you and have a wonderful… well you should have gotten the point by now?

A/N I know it has been a long time since I updated this story… about 4 years in fact. I apologize, I never wanted to be one of the authors I myself hated- the ones that grab your attention and 10 chapters later leave you hanging; never updating again. I am trying to get into this again as writing is one of the biggest stress relievers I have. The last fic I updated was WWW… I need to change it up a bit to keep my mind going.

So hopefully to a new start and eventually a more successful one… Allons-y!




Chapter I

A dark figure stood in the shadows of the door frame as he watched the man sitting at the desk; his long black hair tied loosely with a dark emerald green band. One elbow rested on the desk with his arm reaching to his head while his elegant pale fingers played with a stray strand of hair that was dangling close to the cauldron that was simmering under the man's intense green gaze. His other hand was holding a ladle, stirring counter clockwise before stopping and stirring in the opposite direction. His fingers let go of the stray hair and reached for the finely chopped scales sitting on the desk next to him before he sprinkled them into the cauldron in a circular motion. He stopped stirring long enough for the mixture to turn a soft blue color before placing a cooling charm on the cauldron and turning the fire off. He rested his head in his hands letting that stray hair flow past his hands to coil on the desk top.

The silent man watched for a minute more before walking swiftly up to the man and circling his arms around his shoulders. Resting his cheek on the top of the man's head and sniffed the man's hair.

"Oh my beautiful Salazar, why waste a life trying to find a cure for me when you can join me and we can save the life for our childe." He whispered into the locks as one of his hands absently rubbed circles across Salazar Slytherins stomach.

One Harry potter sat in the window sill starring absently into the blizzard that was currently encompassing the Castle of Hogwarts School of witch craft and wizardry.

His knees brought to his chest and circled by one arm, his other led to the hand currently playing with his hair. His emerald eyes watched the swirling snow lazily, as if it could help bring him from his thoughts; the memories of this night and the night that started it all but above all the words whispered in his ears.

{Earlier that year)

Truth be told, Harry had never been able to sleep very well at night, for reasons unknown to him. And since Sirius death he just found himself wondering more around the school after curfew. It was the best time to think. The first time he had seen the dark figure marching back to the school, Harry had almost let the man be. Almost being the key word. For that first night he had just watched as his professor walked through the great doors, closing them and slumping against the wall for a bracing moment just to stand back up and start walking along it unaware of the young man that watched the spot he had been a dark stain leading straight to the struggling man.

To say Harry had been shocked was an understatement but the emotions that had arisen in Harry scared him even more. He squashed them down as he waved his hand at the wall cleaning the blood from sight. Swiftly walking up to the man now standing once again against the wall for support, Harry used every bit of his Gryffindor courage and quickly wrapped one of his professor's arms around his shoulder and wrapped his own around the man's waist. To the shock of Harry the man easily accepted his support as they made their way to the infirmary and the walk had been, as any outsider would say, eventful. As Harry had neared the hospital wing Snape had finally decided to look at his crutch, and to Harry, looked as if was dying of a heart attack. Trying to pry himself from the young man he very nearly landed the both of them on the floor; if it hadn't been for Harry's quick maneuvering him and the professor would have but as it was he currently he had his back against a wall griping the arms of the Professor in front of him.

"Potter, release me at once." Snape had ground out between clenched teeth. But to the man's dismay Harry silently ignored his threat and pulled the man back to his side to continue walking down the hall.

Harry was just glad that his potions professor had not seen the flush that now covered his face. Certainly the man would have cursed him then and there for the information or kept it as blackmail.

They had walked in silence for a little while before Severus Snape finally decided to speak. "Potter, why do you insist on helping me to the infirmary? Certainly I could make it on my own without the help of a simpleton that barely knows his way around his own head."

Harry let go of his professor and watched with smug satisfaction as the man slumped against the wall for support and was barely able to move. Said man now glared at him with venom thought only to belong to a snake. Again Harry stepped into his teacher's personal space fully aware of the blush that tainted his cheeks and not missing the slight widening of the man's eyes in front of him.

"Professor Snape," Harry watched as the man seemed to hold his breath at the stressed s's that made it sound as if he was hissing. "I'm helping you to the infirmary whether I have to stun you and carry you over my shoulder like a child. If you would rather walk on your own, show me you are able to and I will walk away to finish my musings. Though you'll probably pin it to my idiotic Griffindorish tendencies but I am much more partial to throwing you over my shoulder. Seeing as you would probably curse me the second I let you go, I thought it would be much simpler to assist you this way for the both of us." Harry paused to look the taller man in the eye. "Notice that the second I let go you were unable to walk without any assistance; I WILL be helping you to the infirmary. Are we clear?" he watched Snapes dark eyes flicker from shock to anger then to amusement.

"Well it seems that you do have a brain every once in a while. Too bad you don't use it in your studies." Snape then had pushed Harry away and let the boy help him the remainder ten feet to the infirmary.

Once Harry had managed to get his professor into the hospital wing and into a bed, he went to wake the medi witch. Needless to say Pomfrey had been less then pleased with Harry for waking her in the middle of the night then Snape had been for assisting him, when there seemed to be nothing wrong with him. And for this outrage she had screeched at him for several minutes before she saw the amused professor behind him. Quickly running to her patient Harry watched as she healed the gash in Snapes side and administered potions that he learned helped with the after effects of being under the Cruciatus; what was causing the Professor to be unsteady and shaky on his feet. When she had completed she had tried to usher him out of the infirmary to leave her 'patient' be, much to the displeasure of Snape who had immediately stopped her ranting by saying he was completely capable of resting in his own quarters but first he had a student out after hours to escort back to his dorm.

And the two had immediately left.

They had walked in silence for most of the walk to Gryffindor tower before Snape suddenly stopped and pushed Harry in a small alcove a few feet away from the portrait. His back met the wall as the man came closer in what would have been a completely intimidating way if not for the last hour's events.

"Potter I will forget you were out after hours in exchange that you never mentioned what transpired this night." Snape had growled at him.

Harry had merely glanced up at the man with a smirk and merely answered cheekily, " Now sir what would that have been?" Snape gaze settled on him for a solid minute before pushing away from him.

"Minus ten from Gryffindor for your cheek." he said as he walked towards the portrait hole turning to make sure harry hadn't disappeared. Harry said the password and was walking through the entrance when he heard Snape whisper to himself. "Thank you Potter"

{Earlier that night}

Harry was walking down the hallway during his routine midnight stroll as he had for the last year. He had learned a long time ago how to avoid patrolling teachers and feline but sometimes life became too boring and he would walk into a teacher "unawares" just to receive detention; he purposefully began to seek a certain Sarcastic Dungeon Bat after a certain amount of time. Just something to disrupt the same routine his life had become. And sometimes he almost thought Snape didn't mind so much either after that first night at the beginning of the school year. The night still made him smile though he would try to deny it. Harry had helped his professor many times after that night and each his professor had grumbled and growled and each time threatened him to tell nobody. Harry eventually looked forward to helping his professor even when he didn't need any just for the banter; to just being around the man.

As he walked past a tall bay window he noticed the same dark figure approaching the castle through the raging snow stumbling here and there. Without hesitating Harry found himself using a secret passage to the main hall, opening the doors and jogging through the snow to help the figure just before the man slumped into the snow unconscious. Harry threw his arms around the man's waist in time and felt all the man's weight fall into his arms as he struggled not to slip himself. He steadied himself and then with an ease and strength most didn't know he possessed, Harry lifted the figure and carrying the man made his way to the entrance doors. Unaware of the old figure standing in the same bay window he had been.

Harry silently carried the man to the infirmary and placed him on one of the beds. Removing the man's traveling cloak Harry hid his smirk as he looked at his potions master that would probably curse him if he ever found out the Harry had helped him. Again.

Putting the travelers cloak on the back of the chair next to the bed, he looked once more at the man breathing haggardly on the bed. Walking over to the door as he had also done every time, Harry knocked on Pomfreys' door, waking the woman up. Poppy had also become accustomed to Harry assisting his professor. And she joked with him every night. "Yelling" at him before "noticing" her patient. And tonight was no different.

"Harry potter! How many times do I have to get on you about disturbing a matrons sleep so she can prevent you from severely injuring yourself the next time you get in trouble?" Pomfreys stern face showed in the door. Harry noticed the barely suppressed smirk.

"Now Pomfrey, I wouldn't call you a matron that phrase is too close to crone In my opinion." bowing slightly. "And that suggests an elderly hag, which you defiantly are not." Harry however did not suppress the smile that spread across his face. "Maybe I just enjoy being here in your company?"

Pomfrey looked at him for a moment and laughed heartily. "Well it's a good thing I do not have to worry about a young lad seeking my affections, because he is seeking some others isn't he?" her smile lingering on him before she disappeared back into the office to grab the necessary potions and salves. She returned with a knowing smile still on her lips which he chose to ignore. There was too much going on for him to even contemplate on the meaning behind those words.

"Ah Pomfrey to the subject of your patient." and he had looked back towards the bed and surely the man was still unconscious. "He had just fallen unconscious when I got to him and has yet to wake. I am just a tad worried this time. Though if he ever asks I'll deny it and say I would rather worry over a baby basilisk." his eyes had lingered on the prone form before moving back to Pomfreys.

"Dear child how many times have I told you to call me Poppy? And no need to worry. This is not the first time nor the last I shall have to revive him. "She walked over to the bed and started on her work.

Harry had watched from the chair, until she was done with her ministrations. She had taken out her wand and cast a simple spell to check his progress. When the light on the tip of her wand glowed blue. She swished it his way and cast "enerverate" but nothing happened.

Poppy had tried a couple more times and still the man hadn't woken up. "I'm sorry Harry." her face had creased with a frown. "I'm not sure if this is something to panic about. He was started to suffer from the cold along with his normal injuries. He should wake on his own in his own fashion I surmise." She lowered her wand and looked towards him, frown still stuck on her face.

"It's ok. Madame." he had stood up and moved the chair closer. "If it doesn't bother you, would it be fine if I stayed here?" he had looked back at the bed and inspected the man's face.

"Of course Harry. Just pretend he's a baby basilisk and no one will know any better. If he wakes come get me." and she had turned and walked back to her office.

Harry had looked at his professor and watched him for a few moments before leaning back into the chair and closing his eyes. He didn't know how long he had had them closed but he opened them the second he heard a change in the Professors breathing. Glancing over him he noticed the labored breathing and the slight jerking movements with his arms as if restrained but as he glanced at the man's face he realized this wasn't due to any health issue as the mans closed eyes swept back and forth as if following a swaying string.

Standing up he sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on the gits forehead as he had seen his aunt do to Dudley many times when the boy had complained he was sick but the Professor acted nothing like his cousin as he grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled him forward in a vice grip. Harry didn't struggle knowing full well that it could make matters worse if the man wasn't already awake.

Snape had flipped Harry onto his back; his wrist twisted and pulled out. His other arm captured behind his back with Snapes other arm holding his body still. Harry lay still for a few moments before Snapes voice sent chills down his spine.

Right next to his ear, his breath ghosted his neck which made harry very glad that Snape had decided not to face him as his voice was hoarse and quiet he whispers "I'm so sorry Harry." But harry was shocked most by the use of his name. Months had passed and Snape had never said his name "I failed my promise to Lily. To protect you. I never thought the person sent to protect you would use you, destroy you."

Harry froze at the implied words-A reminder he had buried in his mind. Upon Sirius's death, Dumbledore had come to Harry. At first he had thought the man was comforting him. Until the man had finally spoke.

"That was foolishly stupid of you Harry. I thought better of you; that you would not fall blindly into his trap. And now look what has come of your stupid decision. Sirius is dead. If you had only stayed here and obeyed the directions given to you he would have never been put in the position to protect you. You killed him." Dumbledore stood and paced the room disappointment etched on his face. He looked at Harry and had sighed and shook his head. "I was planning on telling you this later but I feel you should know about it now. You were never meant to survive this war and that is the only thing that gives my heart light- for retribution for an innocent man and everyone else that been lost to this war." Dumbledore then looked straight at him and laughed. Almost insanely. "There is a piece of his soul inside you. He will never die as long as you live Harry. So train. Kill him. And die. That is all the wizarding world wants of you." and he had walked away.

Harry hadn't been the same after that. His insomnia had gotten worse. He ate less and a growing, ever present hunger grew stronger. His so called friends had stopped speaking to him. "It's your fault we almost died. That Sirius died. Since we've known you Harry Potter you have put our lives and our families lives in danger." and they too walked out of his life. The only ones that cared to bother with him were Neville, Luna, and the twins. And for some strange twist of fate Harry and Draco had gotten closer over the past year. It had happened by accident, getting into an argument and both losing their nerves. And then Draco let slip the very reason he despised Harry so much.

"We would not be having this petty fight if you had only taken my hand back in first year!" And from then on Harry learned that Slytherins were not what he expected. It was just another thought planted in his head. He should have let the hat put him in this house was the first thought he had the first time he stayed in the dungeons. And they trained. Harry spent his summer with the Malfoys. Learning what he felt was natural to him.

"I'm so sorry Harry."Snape whispered again.

Harry pushed himself off the bed and away from the man. "Why the fuck would you be sorry? I don't blame you for any of it. You have no inkling about even half of it- Not what that vindictive old fool did, not what that snake faced bastard did, not what any of them did. Unless it was you who pointed the wands." he had raised his eyebrow in a very Snape manner and Snape only shook his head. Harry walked back towards the bed and sat on the edge. Raising his hand he brushed the man's long black hair out of his face. "I don't blame you for what any of them did. Why would I when I can't stop worrying about you?" And he stood leaving behind his professor, walked over to Poppy's door and knocked. When she opened the door he walked away. Out of the infirmary, down the halls until he came to the moaning myrtles bathroom.

And that's how he found himself. The one place the felt like home. He often came here to think and had explored most of the chamber. Finding that the tunnels went everywhere including the astronomy tower; Where he was now starring out at the blizzard thinking about what had had happened in the infirmary.

Harry ran his hand through his hair and brought it down to his mouth(*) running his thumb across his bottom lip, no more focusing on the snow but his memory. The feel of Snape behind him, the way the man felt behind him, beneath him; how secure it was to be held. The slight heat that radiated off the man, and the smell that clung to his cloak. For the past year Harry had gotten to know the man just a little more. He had learned much just by observing him, and though he knew his feelings would never be returned, Harry knew he was falling for Severus Snape.

A/N Hello everyone, this is a blast from the past isn't it? Well those of you that knows really. Harry and Severus have been waiting long enough don't you think?

I am editing the fic from the beginning and will update as soon as I reach the end… or I will be changing things up a bit... Don't really know yet but we will find out!


(*) This little tidbit is from "L" on Death Note.