Chapter 1

The Wrong Kiss

Tadase knew from day one that something was wrong with him. Well, not wrong, but different. He knew that he should act a certain way, speak a certain way, love a certain way, and dress a certain way.

But he threw caution into the wind, and destroyed the boundaries one fateful day.

When Tadase was in elementary school, he loved dress up. Especially dressing up in dresses, and having tea parties with his stuffed animals. His mother thought it was cute the first few years, but when he turned eight, she banned it.

"You're not supposed to like dresses," she growled as she stuffed the clothes into a trash bag, "You are a boy, not a girl." She threw them all in the garbage, despite his cries and pleas. The years went by, and he became a problem child. The built up frustration at not being who he wanted to be had bubbled out of the pot, and he would break things.

His mother didn't know what to do, so she got a therapist. But Tadase hated the therapist. He wanted to change Tadase, when all that was needed was the dresses. Tadase would remember putting on the dresses with joy and the tea parties fondly. He refused to speak with the therapist, and would only stare out the window, day dreaming.

Years later, Tadase entered middle school. He was a shy boy, but gathered many friends. Few were good friends.

Only Amu, Ikuto, Rima, Nagihiko, and his twin, Nadeshiko were very close to him. Tadase never had the same feelings for girls as his friends Ikuto and Nagihiko did. Instead, he became very flustered and shy around Ikuto, and affectionate with Nagihiko.

When they entered high school, the first thing Tadase did was buy dresses. Then, the makeup and wigs came along afterwards, when he earned more money.

It had begun.

3 3 3 3

"So, Tadase," Amu said, "What are you doing when you get home?" He sighed. The two were walking home after a hard day in school. The blue sky was clear, and a sharp wind rustled the green trees into a hypnotic dance. Tadase envied the free birds that fluttered in the breeze, calling out their sweet song to one another.

"How was Mars?" Amu interrupted his thoughts, and then laughed when he jumped. Tadase's cheeks flushed, and he sheepishly replied, "Sorry, I was just day dreaming." Amu's golden eyes rolled in their sockets. "I know that, Captain Obvious. You didn't answer my question though." A small smile was plastered onto her pale face as Tadase sighed again.

"You know what I'm doing," he answered, his voice small. Amu's grin widened. "Yeah, of course I know! But can I come?" she asked, her voice light. Tadase shook his head. "No, you can't," he answered. God, how annoying she is sometimes, Tadese thought. Amu pouted, but said nothing.

The two continued to walk, when Tadase suddenly stopped. "Amu," he said with a small voice, "Do you think I'm gay?" He looked down at his shoes, his shaggy bags covering his flushed face. He didn't really understand why he had just blurted out the one question that had been nagging him for years. Amu stopped, and turned on her heel to look at him. "You do realize I have nothing against it right?" she asked.

Tadase nodded his head, his pale hair shaking. "I don't know anymore," he confided, holding his arm closing to his body, "I thought I was, then I didn't, then-," he was cut off by a kiss from Amu.

He pulled away in disgust. "What are you doing?" he yelled, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. It hadn't felt right, hadn't felt natural. He was fire, she was water. He was this, she was that. It just didn't seem like this was a normal thing to happen. It felt weird.

"How did that feel?" she asked with a small voice, peeking up through her pink bangs at him. He stopped and looked at her with realization. "Wrong, unnatural," he said, and his eyes widened. "There's your answer," Amu said with a small smile. Tadase smiled and the answer hit him right in the forehead.

"Thanks so much, Amu!" Tadase cried, and gave her a hug. He raced off and didn't see the sad smile from his best friend. "Make wise choices, Tadase," Amu whispered.

3 3 3 3 3 3 3

Tadase's mother was late, as she always was. Her work ended around ten, and he got home at two. That gave him eight hours to be free. He dropped his bag at the door way, and raced to his room.

It was a small, sparse room that's main color was white. He was sometimes surprised that the monochrome room even belonged to him. But right now, the things Tadase needed were under his bed.

He got down onto his stomach, and felt with his agile fingers for the loose floorboard. It lifted up easily, and the boxes that lay underneath came out just as easily. The heavy boxes slid slowly toward the pale boy, and with excitement that never died in his eyes, he opened the lid. Inside one of the boxes were skinny jeans, dresses, skirts, and T-shirts. All of the clothing was punk, gothic or girly, just the way he liked it.

At the way bottom, underneath all of his dresses that he had collected over the years, was a bra. He would put it on with expert skill, and loved the fact that it was for Halloween, acting as fake breasts. But it was perfect. With a shirt on, it looked like he had actual breasts.

Afterwards, he chose an outfit. It was a black low cut shirt, a white mini skirt, and black leggings. After the clothing was on, Tadase inspected himself in his full body mirror. He smiled at how much like a girl he looked.

Ikuto would tease him all the time on his girly face and body, but each time he did that, Tadase would swell with pride. Afterwards, he got back down onto his stomach, and brought up two more boxes. The smaller was full of makeup, and the second larger one was full of wigs.

He took the two boxes to the bathroom, after placing the box full of clothing back under his bed. "Which to choose, which to choose," Tadase mused with a smile playing on his lips as he looked in the box full of wigs. There were many wigs in the box, ranging from straight pure black to curly and purple.

He inspected each and every one, finally deciding on a pale blonde one with soft blonde curls. This was his favorite wig. It was a pale blonde just like his hair, wavy in some places and curling slightly in some places. The feeling it just gave him was somewhat mysterious but playful, sexy but fun.

With a mischievous smile, he put on a hair net, and then the wig, brushing it into place. He then put on cherry red lipstick, eye liner, mascara, and black eye shadow. He smirked at the girl in the mirror, and she smirked back. After painting his nails black, and putting on black fish net gloves, Tadase put on his hidden boots and walked out the door.

Eclipse: Nyah nyah nyah! This is my FIRST ever fanfic on Tadese! Oh my f-ing god!

Ikuto: What's wrong with you?

Eclipse: Well, I got this idea when reading a volume of Shugo Chara and then falling asleep. I get the weirdest ideas as I'm falling asleep…

Ikuto: I don't even want to know..

Eclipse: *smiles evilly* you don't want to…