;""i Title: Could be Someone
Pairing: Pezberry, Brittana, Faberry
Spoilers: Up to IKAG.
Summary: What happens why your first love comes back to win your love?
Disclaimer: These characters belong to FOX.
A/N: Gah. School sucks. Enjoy this shitty chapter of this story. The next chapter is half-way written by Rachel's POV then Beth's is the last one. Sorry about the delay! I promise the next chapter will be better (:
It's not exactly like the time you got lost in the sewers before junior year. Yeah, you got lost, but it wasn't anyone else's fault but your own. You scrunch your nose in annoyance as you hear the hospital monitors from different rooms beeping over and over again. You really have no idea why you are still here. Well that's bull crap. It's because Santana's here and you're sure she's falling apart. You know how santana is. You know Santana.
All you really want to do is take a hot bath. You try not to imagine what Santana's feeling because you're pretty sure her heart is breaking. There is a look in her eyes she gets when she talks about Rachel, she used to get that look when she talked about you. All you can hope is that one day, she'll look at you like that again. You want to be her Brittany again, the one with no troubles or worries. Maybe Quinn being here is the best thing for you. Rachel can't possibly love Santana like you love Santana. Rachel has to know that you are the one that belongs with her. It doesn't matter that they are married, you know people get divorced every day. You can only hope that Rachel realizes it by the time she wakes. Well, if she wakes up.
"Brittany?" You look for the source and find Artie rolling towards you. You can't help but smile and throw yourself into his arms. Once upon a time, you had loved him. Once upon a time, you had believed he might be the one for you before everything happened with Santana. You haven't seen him in person in over a year. You had promised before leaving that you'd stay in contact with him. You needed someone to tell you how Santana was doing. It had broken your heart to hear that she had moved with Rachel, broke your heart to hear that she married Rachel. You were just too lost to try and win her back until now.
"Artie!" You squeal as his arms wrap around you. It feels so good to be held. You miss it. You miss him. You miss your family. "What are you doing here?" You ask before sitting back down in your own chair.
"Mr. Shue called us all," you aren't surprised. Santana would rather of died than having people comfort her back in high school. You were the only one that was allowed to do that and now the only person that was allowed was in a coma. You look behind him to see Tina and their half-asian baby waddling behind her. Unfortunately, you never got to find out if Tina and Mike would of had asian babies. Instead her and Artie had a half asian one. You've seen so many pictures of the kid, but seeing her in person pulls on your heart strings. "How is she?"
"She's not good. Beth and her are back there waiting," you say with a frown.
"No, not Santana, Brittany. Rachel," Tina says behind him, picking up their toddler and setting her on Tina's hip. You frown deeper. "How is Rachel doing?"
"Oh," you say and look at your jean-covered knees. "I don't know." You're not a horrible person. Rachel just hasn't been the first on one your mind. Your cheeks burn with frustration.
Dance was your life. Name any dance, any one and you could perform it. The tango, the walt, hairography, anything. Dancing happens in two categories: solos and duets. The last eight years have been filled with solos and you are finally ready to have a duet. Bringing Santana lunch is the only thing that seems reasonable in your mind after the situation with Artie and Tina. You couldn't answer their questions and you could swear Tina was trying to kill you with her eyes. You find Santana sitting on a bench a floor down from Rachel's room. Her head tucked between her knees. You've only seen Santana in this position before when you were on the cherrios and Coach would make you do sprints until you literally couldn't see anymore. Santana always lasted far longer than you. Your head would kill but you couldn't stop from watching her run back and forth. She had always been the strong one.
"Breadstick?" You offer as a peace treaty. The last time you two talked, she blamed you for Rachel and all you had done was cry.
"Britt," the sound of her voice makes you want to cry. "Why did you leave? Why did you do this to me?" She asks and you can feel her walls tumbling. You don't have a response. There was no good reason for you to leave. "Was it that easy just to walk out?" She asks and your heart breaks. You don't want to think about it. You don't want to think about what you were feeling when you left.
"I'm so sorry," you whimper before sitting besides her. You don't touch her, but you want her to know that you won't just walk out again.
"Come on, don't cry Britt," Santana begs as you lay, face in her pillow on her bed. She's rubbing your back soothingly, but you've already decided your fate. You can't stay here. You can't go with her to the university. You just want to dance. Doesn't she understand that? Can't she understand that you just want to dance? "We're gonna be fine."
"Tana," you whimper as you turn your head to face her.
"We have all summer to figure it out, Britt," she says with a smile, her hand running through your long locks. The way she looks at you, it makes you feel like you could be the greatest person on the planet. Ever since the thing with Finn and her coming out, she's been so sweet to you. The rest of the world? Not so much, but to you always. She's been hugging you and sneaking kisses whenever and wherever. It only makes you feel worse for the decision you've made. "Si, estro no es querer entonces dime tu lo que sera, si nesecition de tus besos pa que pueda respirar," Santana starts singing softly to you, almost as if she's singing you a lullaby. Even though you can't understand any of it, you smile and feel like crying. "Y de tus ojos que van regalando vida y que me dejan sin salida y para que quiero salir. Si nunca he sido tan feliz. Que te prefiero mas que nada en este mundo."
You kiss her slowly when she stops singing. You're doing this for yourself. You have to leave. You have to. You allow her to curl against you and get one last night of sleep in each other's arm. By the time she wakes up, you are already gone.
This pain shouldn't have to happen. You shouldn't have to sit and wonder if your friend is going to wake up. You shouldn't have to wonder if someone is going to live or die. It's just not fair and you can't think of anything to do to make yourself, or Santana, feel better. Beth has been in and out of the hospital visting her mother while staying with her grandfathers. You have left once to shower and Santana hasn't left at all. All of the glee kids have been here. Some cry and other's don't. You wish you had kept your promise to talk to all of them. Every time you see them, you want to cry. They are all old and not the same people they were in high school. Finn is one of the first ones to visit. Actually he's there before Quinn even arrives. He's working at Ohio State with his wife, Louisa. Santana lets him hug her and Brittany so desperately wishes to be him. She doesn't actually see what happens when he goes to see Rachel, but she can tell he's been crying. Then it's Artie and Tina, then Puck, then Mercedes, then Mike. Kurt and Blaine refuse to even acknowledge you when they visit. They completely ignore you and Quinn and it breaks your heart a little more. There has never been any resentment between you and them, but you haven't exactly talked to them since graduation. You can feel the judgement in Kurt's stare and Blaine just puts a hand on his back and his attention is away from you.
"Stay away from them," is the only thing that Sam has to say to you when he visits. You can only assume, by the way Santana nearly leaps into his arms, that they have stayed close. "You aren't going to break her heart again," he says directed towards Quinn before leaving you two in your sadness.
Occasionally other people come to see Rachel, people you have never met. People that hug Santana and Santana lets them. People that are allowed to comfort her, while you just sit and watch. This sucks.
You only wanted Santana back. You didn't want Rachel to end up in a coma. You're happy that you called Quinn because she's usually by your side. You sometimes have to avoid her because Santana, at first, refused to even look at you when Quinn was near. This isn't your fault. You hadn't called Quinn hoping that she would steal Rachel away from Santana. That would of been cruel. You want Santana back badly, but not that badly. You're lucky, though. The first few days, Santana is more angry at Quinn than she is at you. Then they seem to come together and you can't help but feel jealous. Because now Quinn is getting to spend time with Rachel, holding her hand and getting to know Beth. Whenever you talk to Santana she either yells at you or cries. You hate that that is the emotion you now draw from her.
It's just not fair. How come Quinn gets to get Rachel back and Santana still refuses to actually talk to you? "Santana," you whisper as you approach her when she's getting coffee. "When was the last time you showered?" You can't help but notice the smell that is coming off of her. She just shrugs and you sigh. "Come one," you demand and to your surprise, she follows you. She is in no condition to drive and luckily her GPS has a "home" setting.
God, even their house is perfect. The white picket fence surrounding it almost makes you laugh. How the hell did Santana agree to this? The Santana you knew would only of let you have this perfect of a life if you had begged in the form of sexual favors. You shuddered to think that maybe that was exactly what Rachel had done. You want to help her out of the car, but she scowls at you and your heart warms a bit, knowing that Santana more than the one portrayed by the house.
The inside of the house makes you want to die. It's perfect, like out of a magazine. It makes you want to break things, smash the lamps, ruin the grand piano in the living, instead you follow Santana up to her bedroom. The king size bed is made perfectly. Rachel must of done it before the accident. Santana slams the door to the master bathroom shut in your face. You take this as an opportunity to wander about the house. There is three other bedrooms and one belongs to Beth. It is the perfect little girl's bedroom. Pink and all. You smile as you walk around, trying not to disturb anything. You can tell that this is the only room that has been lived in since Rachel left. The bed is left unmade and clothes are pilling up on the floor. You consider bending down and picking up the clothes, setting them in the basket but decide against it.
There are pictures all against the wall between the two bedrooms. Pictures of Beth as a baby, of Santana holding Beth, of Rachel holding Beth. Every sort of combination of the three people. One brings tears to your eyes. It's a candid picture of Santana and Rachel. Rachel is absorbed in talking to Beth, smiles on each of their faces. You can tell Rachel was pregnant at the time because of the way her hand rest on her slightly protruding stomach. Santana is the one that you focus into. She's smiling, looking at Rachel with this glint in her eyes, almost if nothing could ever be better.
The next bedroom almost makes you cry. It's his bedroom, the baby boy Rachel might of died because of. It is painted a sky blue with the most perfect crib you've ever laid eyes on. You can't imagine that Santana has been in here recently. The wound is too fresh. You wonder what will Santana will do with her son if Rachel doesn't wake up. Nothing in your soul wishes that Rachel dies, you wouldn't wish that upon anyone. You just wish she wakes up not loving Santana.
"What are you doing in here?" The voice startles you and you drop the teddy bear you had been holding. You bring your hand to your heart. It wouldn't of good for you to have to be put in the hospital because of a heart attack.
"I thought it was the bathroom..." you say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Anyone else would of looked at you like you were stupid, but Santana only sighs lightly and drops her head. Her hair only drops to her shoulders now. You almost miss her long hair, but you can imagine running your hands through this new cut and loving it. She's older but so are you.
"He doesn't have a name yet," she says softly. It takes you a minute to realize that she's talking to you, not herself. "We had talked about a few, but she would kill me if I made that decision without her approval."
The sound of her voice makes you want to cry. Where is your Santana? Why is she so broken? Had you done this? You had never had to deal with this Santana and quite frankly you didn't know how. "San," you say quietly, wanting desperately to hug her, do something. She just stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame for support.
"What if she doesn't wake up?" She asks making eye contact with you. The desperate urge to pull away overwhelms you, but you try to stay calm as her eyes bare into yours. You honestly don't know. Nobody asks you anything. Nobody trusts you to give advice. You had once suggested that Tina use an un-tanning salon to turn white. This wasn't your thing, so instead you say the only thing you know.
"You'll have me," you say with a hopeful smile. There is no way you'd leave Santana alone, not again.
Santana looks at you and shakes her head. The smile disappears from your face. "I will never love you like I did again, Brittany," she says softly. "It will always only be Rachel."
You run out of there as fast as your shaking legs will let you.
Quinn hugs the breathe out of you when you learn that Rachel has woken up. You bring a smile to your face and she sprints out of the room to see Rachel. Why does Quinn get a happy ending? Why can't you have one? Your heart breaks knowing that Quinn is going to win Rachel back and Santana is going to be alone. Maybe Santana could love you again. Even if it's not the epic love you wanted.
Sometimes in life, you don't get what you want.