It's been a while, hehehe. I wrote this on a whim. Feel free to bash. It's pretty silly.

This is based on the real world, so I had to give the characters 'real' names. Don't worry, you'll easily know who is who. I'm lame like that.

Summary: In which a boy dressed in drag to cosplay the Hero of Time, his sister the Princess is a fangirl and the Sheikah cosplayer he bumps into is uncommonly acrobatic. Link/Sheik. AU.



Lance was having a bad day. A really, really bad day.

Today marked the end of exam week. It had started by seven and ended by noon, and by the time the clock struck, all he really wanted to do was to lie in his room and sleep the headache, stress and general anxiety the whole hell-filled week had cause. He could imagine his body sagging against the plush mattress of his bed, letting the tension seep out from his pores. He'd allow his mind to stop stating Geometry (theorems, postulates, corollaries) stop it from whispering Spanish (verbos regulares e irregulares comprar ponerse decir conocer), stop it from thinking about the damn periodic table, (Argon-eighteen four-s-two three-d-ten three-p-one) and just basically stop, stop STOP!

Lance massaged his head as if he could massage all of those horrible, horrible thoughts away.

Anyways, he'd expected to go home and have the rest of the day off but no! His genius of a sister decided it was a good idea to haul his exhausted arse off to the mall in one of her stupid anime conventions.

Well, okay, he guessed that it wasn't that stupid. There were some pretty cool things they were selling here, and the cosplayers were friendly and all…

Oh, who was he kidding? He was wearing a freaking dress! With a sigh, he recalled a conversation with his twin sister before they left home.

"It's a tunic, Lance." His sister had frowned at him like he was retarded.

"A tunic. Huh, yeah. Dude, it's a freaking dress! A dress! How the heck are you gonna expect me to walk around in this?" His tirade was cut off when white cloth was thrown at his face. "Uh, Zo, what's this?"


"Really, Zo? Really?" He waved the thing between them. "You expect me to wear a dress and tights and be okay with it?"

Zoe batted his hand irritably away. "Link was okay with it."

Lance ground his teeth. "Link…is a fictional character. Who can't talk. Who lives in a game—"

"I lost the game!" She suddenly shrieked. Lance groaned and bumped his head on the door jamb.

"Zoe, you are such a…I don't even know what to…"

His sister rolled her eyes. "Fine. If you don't wanna go, then might as well let the perverts molest me over there. I'm gonna go. Alone. By myself. And if mom finds out that I was kidnapped while you weren't there to protect me, it's gonna be on your ass."

"Dude, you're sixteen! You don't need me to baby-sit you."

Zoe paused, and Lance could tell what was coming next. First, she'd bat her eyes to make them shiny. Then she'd stuck her bottom and make that…

"No. No. No, I'm not falling for that!"

She tilted her head and made another keening whine, sniffing for full effect. "But, big brother…" And she'd said his name in the most heartbreaking tone only a man of ice could deny.

"Argh. Fine!" Lance snapped, grabbing the green…dress…tunic…and marching over to the bathroom. "You so owe me for this!"

She giggled as the bathroom door shut. "No, big brother. You'll owe me for this."

"What was that?" He called out from the bathroom.

"Nothing! Go change now!"

Lance sighed as he brought himself back to the present. Truth be told, he didn't really look too shabby in the green thing. Coupled with a belt and brown riding boots, and not to mention the shield and sword slung on his back, he didn't look girly at all. In fact, if he straightened his back and widened his stance, he looked damned heroic already. If only Zoe didn't make him wear those fake elf ears. And that stupid floppy green hat that came with the dress.

"Oh my gosh, you look exactly like Link! I'm so proud!" Zoe had tackled him in a glomp when she found him dressed and ready. He'd huffed. "Everything matches! From your build to your eyes…Even your hair is the right shade and length!" When he'd thought she'd stop spazzing, she started praising her mirror. "Oh, Zelda, aren't you a smart cookie? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! Triforce of Wisdom, baby!"

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Uh, sis, you do know you're not really Zelda, right?"

"You're right." Zoe primly responded, before taking out a tiara and setting it on her head. "Now I am!"

Lance raised an eyebrow.

She coughed daintily. "So, let's go?"

He rolled his eyes, clearly amused, and offered his arm. "Then what are we waiting for, Princess? Call me Link."

"Excuse me, but can I have a picture with you?" Lance, blinked as he shook his thoughts away and posed for a picture. People did this a lot, and it was kind of neat, but after a while, it got kind of annoying.

"Um, can I have a picture with Zelda too?"

"No prob," Lance grinned, a silver hoop earring glinting as he turned for his sister. "Zelda! We've got another customer!" His sister apologized to her best friend who funnily enough, was a Midna cosplayer, and stuck up her nose as she approached them.

"You will address me as Your Highness, Your Majesty or Milady. No more, no less." She put her hands on her hips and tried to look royally annoyed.

"Well, excuse me, Princess." Lance rolled his eyes and wrapped a careful arm around her gold shoulder guards. A gaggle of girls passed by and cooed at the 'ZeLinkness' of it all.

"Dude, she's my sister!" Lance protested, half-gagging. Zoe punched him in the arm.

"You're supposed to be Link. Link can't talk—so shut up."

Lance shrugged. "Feed me first. I haven't had food in a while. Princess, you're not supposed to starve your subjects." He tutted and waved a finger in front of her face.

"You're a rogue and not under my command. Go feed yourself."

"You spent the last of my money on a plushie!"

"What was that? I can't hear you. The Goddesses are telling me to tell you to stop whining." His sister smirked and he frowned and gave up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to entertain the Twilight Princess."

"You're excused!" Lance called out as she walked away. Zoe stuck her tongue out and gave him the 'loser sign'.

Now alone and uncertain with what to do, Lance resigned himself to suffering hunger for just a few more hours. There were greater things that needed his attention, namely, that fascinating rack of pirated DVDs.

Half an hour later, he was losing things to occupy his mind from crippling boredom. People still asked to take his picture now and then and he readily obliged, but it was losing its glamour. No doubt he'd find his pictures on Deviantart or somewhere around the internet. Vaguely he wondered if any of his classmates would know about his cosplaying shenanigans with Zoe. She was a big anime fan and was always trying to come up with costume designs and the like. He wasn't embarrassed by it, not really. Not when he had a sister that was awesomely talented and could whip up a whole outfit with a bolt of cloth and a few hours on the sewing machine. Which was what she'd done with his costume.

Love in every stitch, she'd called it. It was one of the reasons why he allowed himself to wear a dress of all things and parade around with it. He was practically in drag, ladies and gentlemen. The breeze was nice, yeah, sure, but he felt damned naked and downright weird. Lance sighed and scratched the back of his neck right under the white turtleneck. He'd conveniently left the green hat-thing off his head and tucked into his belt, mostly because not even the hottest man in the world could pull it off. He paused when he felt a distinct lack of hoop earring.

"Shoot." He began to mutter. "Shoot. Shoot. Shoot." His sister would gouge his eyes out with a spoon, drive nails in his ears, crush his toes and crack his balls before she'd forgive him. Their dad (that fat bastard of a coward) had given them to her last Christmas, and if you lost one piece then the other was practically useless. She'd never be able to wear them again.

If anything, Zoe never cried outright. She's simply bite her lip, furrow her eyebrows and dig her nails into her palm. If she felt bad enough, tears would start running down her cheeks, but that was seldom. It would be the same face she made when she was severely disappointed. Like when the tree house broke. Or when their puppy died. Like when Dad left them. He choked a little and bumped into someone. "Whoa, hey, sorry, man."

His first reaction was to reach out to steady the person, when his hand was suddenly grabbed and twisted around unnaturally. Years of training had conditioned his body to move ahead even if his mind was far behind. In a moment, he'd countered the attack and freed himself from the grip. His limbs moved by themselves, knees slightly bent, feet apart, fists ready. It was a very familiar fighting stance.

The person he'd bumped into had fallen into a similar stance, only his hands were open. The small gap in the crowd widened until people started peering in at his little freakout. Lance felt the adrenaline surge through his veins as his body prepared for combat. With a breath, he forced his heart to calm down and for his mind to clear. No biggie, he told himself. Just a knee-jerk reaction is all. No need to be embarrassed for drawing even more attention to yourself. It's not like the crowd actually cares, right?

A random person wolf-whistled and started clapping his hands. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Soon enough, people started to follow the chant.

Ye Goddesses have no mercy.

Lance focused on the boy opposite him and felt his eyebrows shoot to his hairline. Isn't this a big coincidence? It was…Sheik.

Well, it was a Sheik cosplayer, but he looked exactly as Sheik had in-game. Clad in blue and wound in bandages, and he even had the same elf ears that Zoe forced Lance to wear. What startled him the most, though, was the fierce gaze in the cosplayer's eyes. It wasn't so much the red color as the intensity.

He felt the crowd's voice echoing in his ears. In some rush of excitement and bullheaded recklessness (as his sister called it), he managed to get it across the Sheik cosplayer to make it a show. The other boy glanced nervously to the sides, before nodding just slightly. Without slipping from his stance, Lance took his plastic sword and shield off and kicked it away. It'd be epic if they sparred with him with his sword and Sheik with his daggers, but he wasn't about to risk injuring anyone. That, and he'd had those things since he was eight. He wasn't about to break them in a fight.

He nodded to the other boy as more people joined the crowd. They cheered as 'Link' took the first move, charging with a fist before the boy managed to twist around and dodge the attack. Lance improvised, dropping to the ground to swing his leg and sweep the boy off his feet. Sheik was caught off guard, but he managed to use the momentum to roll away safely.

It was like a light bulb lit over the other boy's face. His serious look began to shift to a more playful one, and a heartbeat later, he was on his feet, running towards Lance.

It was almost too fast for his mind to recall, but his body seemed to know what it was doing. It was all action and reaction, just movement and ease like a choreographed dance. He tested the limits of his body's capabilities as he flexed around, pushed and pulled, attacking and dodging and narrowly missing a hardened hand to the shoulder. Lance liked a more forceful approach. His opponent's style by contrast, was more grace than he could ever achieve, using momentum and limb-twisting acrobatics for show, but somehow, it seemed just right. It was Sheik, after all. Sheik was all shadows and secrecy. It was his thing.

They hadn't realized that their little sparring gig had gone well over five minutes, and that their bodies were shaking from exertion. Five minutes wouldn't have seemed much, but they'd done quite a lot in that span of time. Some maneuvers made Lance's head spin. He hadn't known he could do any of that at all!

"Dude, let's end this already." He hissed as he felt sweat run down the contour of his eyebrow. The Sheik cosplayer was in a similar state.


Lance delivered a calculated kick, and Sheik managed to twist around it, land a hand on Lance's shoulder and…amazingly enough, make a handstand perfectly on that alone. The world slowed down to the moment when Sheik's bright eyes connected with Link's. It was a brilliant, excited flame that simply made his mouth dry. Time restarted again when the contact broke, and Sheik landed like a cat on the ground. It was some great irony, Lance thought, when Sheik swung his leg to trip him like he'd done to him the first few minutes of the spar. Their legs tangled together, and they fell into a heap at the floor. Sheik was on top of him, lying horizontally, so it looked like they made a cross. The hard pane of his torso and ribs dug into Lance's own.

Too tired to get back up, they stayed there and struggled for breath, even as the crowd cheered and roared with appreciation.

Something was thrown their way, and a plushie landed on Sheik's back. Lance stared at the stuffed cucco's beady black eyes before letting his head fall back on the floor with a muffled thud.

"What're they doing?" Sheik's husky voice wheezed from his side.

"They're taking pictures of the cucco that's taken out the Hero of Time and the last of the Sheikah." Link grinned as he grabbed the plush. Sheik withdrew, his cowl hanging around his neck, forgotten. Lance could see the flush stealing his face, whether it was from the fighting, the proximity of a total stranger, or a combination of both, Link wouldn't know.

"Epic skills, by the way." Lance offered him a hand. It was like restarting the scene where they bumped into each other, only without the weird self-defense freak out. "The name's Lance."

"Shane." The cosplayer offered a small smile and shook their linked hands together.

"Dude. Shane. Sheik."

The other boy lifted an eyebrow. "Lance. Link?"

"Well, isn't this a coinci—"

"Lance!" Before he could think, he was tackle-glomped by his sister. "Oh my gosh, you're amazing, I love you love you love you!"

"Zo," he hissed, "You're causing a scene." The people who lingered were now giving catcalls and wolf-whistles.

"I don't care!" She declared passionately. "I love you with every fiber of my being you're amazing I have everything on camera and that cucco was the icing on the cake."

Lance took a second to unscramble her words in his head before untangling her arms from around his neck. He shoved the plushie in her arms and tried not to scowl. "I take it this is yours?" This girl had the sense to waste money on the thing. Unbelievable.

"Yes it's mine thank you I love you you're the best!" She grinned and then turned to Shane. "By the way my name is Zoe you were amazing I'm a fan of your cosplaying please take care of Lance he can be such an idiot I'll see you later 'kay thanks bye!" She took in a huge breath and gifted Lance with a big wet kiss on his cheek before darting off to find her friends. They were waiting at the sidelines, squealing when she returned.

"Eek! ZeLink! It lives!" One of the girls from earlier shrieked and almost died of a heart attack. Beside him, Shane shuffled in discomfort and stepped back a little from Lance.

"What—dude, no! That's my SISTER!" There was a big chorus of 'Aw…', before Lance rubbed his temple and faced Shane again. The other boy looked oddly relieved. "Sorry about that. You know. Fangirls."

"Um. Yeah. What did she—your sister—she is your sister, right?—say, exactly?"

"…I have no idea. I think she called me an idiot. That's not so unusual. Her name's Zoe."

"Zoe." Shane stretched out the first letter. "So. Really? Zoe?" He grinned.


"And she's cosplaying Zelda."


"This is pretty weird."


"Can you say anything other than that?"

Lance made a show of thinking. "Uh-huh."

There was a moment of silence before both boys erupted into laughter.

"It's been one hell of a day," Lance confessed. "I'd just had my exams this morning. Then Princess over there," He gestured to where Zoe and her friends were watching a video camera with huge interest, "dragged me over here to wear a green dress and tights. Oh crap—have you seen my sword?"

"There, I think." Shane pointed to a bundle right beside an empty stall. Lance let out a breath in relief.

"Thanks. Anyways, sorry for bumping into you, Sheik. I was looking for an earring. Doubt I'll find it now." He sighed, slumping.

"What does it look like?" The other boy left his cowl hanging around his neck. "My name's Shane, by the way, not Sheik."

"Oh, sorry." Lance laughed sheepishly. "I can't help but just call you Sheik when you're dressed like that."

"That's okay. You can call me whatever you like, Link." Shane teased. "Now how about you tell me about that earring. Why do you need an earring?"

"It's my sister's. Uh, part of the costume. Don't ask. Anyways, it's a hoop. Silver. About this small."

"You mean like this?" Miracle of miracles, in the Sheikah's bandaged hands was a small hoop earring. Zoe's earring.

Lance placed his (fake) gauntleted hands on Shane's shoulders. "I am so happy, Sheik, I could kiss you right now!" He proclaimed loudly, before placing a big wet smack on the other boy's cheek. There was a collective squeal, which neither of them paid attention to; Lance was too distracted thanking the Sheikah and the Sheikah was too distracted fending off the Hylian. Lance gleefully put the earring on while Shane tried not to blush too red, muttering, "He's her brother, alright."


"Oh, nothing. Wanna get something to eat?" Shane suggested, "My treat. I kinda twisted your arm when we bumped into each other."

Lance perked up at the mention of food. Ah, salvation had come in a pretty boy bound up like a mummy. Who knew? He wrapped an arm around the other's shoulders and pumped a fist into the air. Shane stiffened in surprise, the tips of his ears turning a vivid shade of red. Lance hadn't noticed, too engrossed at the thought of food.

It was turning out to be a really really really good day after all.

Ahaha I have nothing to say. Except that I hope it gained a chuckle from you at the very least.