Feeling the Blues - Listen
This may or may not end up as a one shot. ^_~
Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid
EDITED: MAY 31, 2011
Hello, I am nobody. My mother died in a car accident and my father is an abusive alcoholic. I should be the one dead instead of my mother, is what everyone tells me. I believe them.
Did I mention that I am mute?
People call me dumb, which I guess is okay. After all, when you can't talk, you really are dumb.
Everyone calls me a freak. Since I am a freak, I am unlovable. No one likes me. No one listens to me. You probably think I'm a freak too.
They also call me gay for putting up my, long, hair into a side ponytail, tied with a red ribbon, and wearing leggings under my school shorts. You probably think I'm gay too. But you don't know the real reason why I keep my hair in a side ponytail or why I wear leggings underneath my pants, do you?
I wear leggings underneath because my school shorts aren't long enough to cover the scars on my legs. Where did those scars come from you ask? My father. Sometimes he comes home drunk and, using his belt, whips me. Sometimes, his belt misses and hits my back instead. I have scars on my back too; they hurt. I also wear fingerless gloves. There are scars there too. But that's because I sometimes cut myself there.
I keep my hair long because of my mother. She used to tie her long blonde hair into a side ponytail, with a red ribbon, before her… You know, accident. Everyone says I look like my dad. I don't want to look like my dad; I want to look like my mom. So that's why I tie my hair into a side ponytail. You must think I'm obsessed with my dead mother, don't you? Maybe I am.
I am Len Kagamine. My mother is currently dead and my father is an abusive alcoholic. I am also mute which labels me as a freak. I am gay for wearing leggings and side ponytails. Will you be kind enough to listen to my story? Or do you want to leave now? Either option is fine.
"Oh there you are!" An angelic figure approaches me, Rin.
Rin is beautiful, amazing, stunning- an angel stuck here on Earth. She has ocean blue eyes and short sunny hair. She's strong, brave, outgoing, and isn't afraid of anything. Compared to me, anyone really, she is flawless.
"Now why are you in here silly!" I shrug at her while looking at the ground. Rin makes my heart pound. If I look at her, I know my heart will burst.
We are both in the abandoned music room. I am sitting on top of one of the many wooden tables. I would normally go and hide on the roof, but it's too hot outside today.
"Tsk. Now why did you go and throw your tie away, again?" I shrug at her again. I don't like wearing my tie. I feel as if it's choking me.
She sighs. "You can't go to class without your tie." She climbs on top of the wooden table and onto my lap. I start blushing.
With gentle hands, she wraps the red ties around my neck loosely. Rin is always taking care of me, though I myself do not exactly know why. When I ask her, using a pen and a piece of paper of course, she says it's because she loves me. I don't believe her. I am unlovable, a freak. It's only a matter of time before she starts hating me too.
"And done." A soft sigh escapes her delicate lips. She rests her head on my chest. I start shifting, uncomfortable with the situation.
"Stop moving stupid." I stop. Her arms wrap themselves around my body and her head buries itself deeper into my chest. I hesitantly wrap my arms around her petite body, careful about where I'm touching her.
"You know I love you Len, right?" I nod, knowing that she wouldn't be able to see it, and rest my cheek on top of her head.
"Good. Now let's get back to class before we get in trouble." She speaks. We never get in trouble. Every teacher pities me too much to get angry.
Rin slides off of me, and the table, onto to the floor. She holds out her right hand, wanting me to take it. I take her outstretched hand with my left one. She smiles at me vibrantly.
I slide off the table, wincing as my back rubs against it. Rin notices and frowns. She drags me to a nearby closet.
Rin turns on the closet light and shuts the door behind us. She starts unbuttoning my gray vest. After successfully removing it, she moves onto my white collared shirt.
She gasps as soon as she sees my back. A new scar has formed there. Except, this scar is larger, and still slightly red, than all the others. I
"… Why do you keep on getting hurt? Why don't you fight back?" I hear the sorrow in her voice. I don't like it when she's sad.
I get hurt because it's my fault. I don't fight back because I know it's my fault. Everything is my fault. But I don't tell her this.
"… Let's go to the nurse after class, okay?" I nod. I slip on my shirt and vest that Rin has handed back to me.
She grabs my hand, giving it a slight squeeze, and runs, with me following, off to our class.
By the time we've entered the classroom, I realize that the period is nearly over.
"I'm so sorry that we're late Mr. Kiyoteru!" Rin apologizes. Mr. Kiyoteru looks at me and smiles an I-feel-so-sorry-for-you smile.
"No problem! Why don't you and Len go take your seats?" Rin nods and drags me behind her.
I feel the student's glares on me. I can hear their snickers and sneers.
"Look! The freaks back!" A student shouts. The whole class erupts into laughter. I hang my head in shame.
"!" I fall, face first, onto the floor. My eyes start watering.
"Oops. Didn't see you." A girl snickers.
"Look! He's crying! What a crybaby!" I hang my head even lower, allowing my bangs to sweep over my eyes.
"Come on Len." I hear Rin whisper to me. She pulls me to our desks, which are all the way in the back.
"Settle down students! Or do you all want detention?" Mr. Kiyoteru threatens. The class eventually quiets down.
"Now…" Mr. Kiyoteru continues to drone on.
Ring Ring Ring
The lunch bell sounds. All the students immediately rush out of the classroom leaving Rin, Mr. Kiyoteru, and myself alone in the classroom.
Mr. Kiyoteru goes back to his desk while Rin and I start packing our things. We, Rin and I, wait for the hallways to clear before heading out.
"Let's go to the nurse's office Len."
Our school's nurse, Luka, looks up as we enter her office.
"Oh. You guys are here. You know where everything is, right Rin?" We come here often, mostly because of me.
"Yup." Rin heads over to a white cabinet, taking out some gauze and other medical objects.
I sit down on one of the white beds inside of the office. I start taking off my shirt and whatnot. I see Rin approach me.
"Turn around." I turn my back towards her. I shiver as she applies the cool medicine onto the scar.
"Okay." She takes out a roll of bandages, wrapping them around my body. I'll have to take them off later. My dad would sometimes get angry for stupid reasons- like the bandages. Then he would whip me twice as hard while yelling at me that I don't deserve to live.
"Good as new!" Rin roughly slaps my back and I wince. She's angry. Why? Because she doesn't like it when I get hurt and that I don't fight back.
I carefully slip back into my clothes, watching out for the bandages.
We've missed lunch so we decided to eat on the roof during fifth period.
"Here Len." Rin hands me a packed lunch. She always packs my lunch, and her own. I use to just starve and not eat, until I met Rin. She makes sure I eat even though I'm not hungry.
I pick at the vegetables in the lunch she made. I'm not exactly hungry you see… From the corner of my eye, I see Rin glaring at me. I let out a breath of air and start eating it. Chew, chew, and swallow. I see Rin nod her head in approval.
We finish off our lunch. Fifth period should be over by now. But we decide not to head back to class. The teachers don't mind, they never do. Nor do the students. They hate me too much to actually care.
Rin and I lay side by side. She rests her head on top of my chest; her eyes are shut closed. I listen to her soft and even breathing. I brush my fingers through her short hair. It's soft. I continue playing with it, enjoying how it feels in my fingers.
My hands start to sweat. I remove my fingerless gloves and set them aside. I put my hand in the air, looking at each scar I've created.
Two small hands grab my own outstretched hand. Rin is awake.
"How'd you get these?" She questions me. I remain silent, it's not like I can say anything anyways.
Rin brings my hand between her um… breasts. Ahem.
"I want you to stop doing this to yourself Len. Promise me?" I stiffen beside her. Does she know…? But I nod anyway.
"Good boy." She kisses the top of my hand. "Now let's go to sleep."
Hello, I see you have stayed to listen. But you see, I'm still nobody. I'm still a freak. Nothing has changed. This story isn't over yet. Will you stay? Or will you leave? Either option is fine with me.
Yeah so this may be a two shot. Stick around and find out, yes? Also, remember to review!