Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies, music, or etc.. that I mention belong to their rightful owners.
Thank you everyone
The shaking suddenly stopped and to Shepard and Jack's horror a massive figure appeared in the distance.
"A Robot? Really?" Jack asked with a sigh.
"Yep.. and you can bet one of our kids is it." Shepard said.
"So what do we do?" The ex-con asked.
"Find a way in and get our son out before it blows up or something." Shepard said heading towards the robot.
"What about Rebecca?" She asked glancing at the sleeping child.
"I'll take her" Kelly said stepping into the store.
As Kelly picked up Rebecca the little girl opened her eyes "Mommy.. my tummy hurts." She said pouting as Kelly hugged her child.
"It's ok baby. Now let's get some rest ok." She said turning and heading out of the store.
"Well that's one down and two to go." Shepard said.
"Right. Let's go" Jack said. And with that the two headed out the door.
Kasumi and Ashley made their way down the alley as they continued their search for the children. When the shaking started they weren't sure what was going on. When they spotted the giant robot they knew that it was the work of one of the children.
"Ash we sho..." Kasumi didn't get to finish as she quickly jumped out of the way as the wall she was standing in front of crumbled to the ground.
Both women turned and looked down the alleyway to see Jacquie and two hooded figures standing there.
"Jacquie what are you doing with those people?" Ashley asked.
The little girl seemed uncertain before one of the hooded figures spoke up.
"She is with us now." One of the figures said.
Ashley raised an eyebrow "Wait a second.. I know that voice."
In response the figure started to sweat. "You have no idea what your talking about." He said.
In a flash Ashley was standing in front of them. Before anyone could react she promptly kneed him in the groin.
As he fell to the ground clutching himself his hood came off.
Kasumi's eyes widened in surprise "Joker? What the hell?" She asked quickly joining the small group.
Ashley turned to the other who removed her hood to reveal herself as Miranda.
"Hey guys what's up?" She asked smiling.
"Just what have you been doing with Jacquie?" Ashley asked.
"Just teaching her the basic's of her biotics oh and pick pocketing." Miranda said.
"You were teaching her how to be a thief? No offense Kasumi" Ashley said glancing at the former thief.
"Non taken. Now why did you teach her that?" Kasumi asked.
"Well we only did it that once cause you see we lost our luggage when we checked in at security. Apparently there were a few items in our bag that were considered illegal and they confiscated it." Joker said.
"Ok... so why didn't you just ask us to help you out with cash?" Ashley asked folding her arms over her chest.
"Er... I didn't think of that." Joker said.
Miranda face palmed "I tried to tell the idiot that. But you know how men are." She said and the two women nodded.
"Well. We need to get back and let everyone know that Jacquie is alright. I have a feeling that Shepard's probably already trying to take that giant robot down." Kasumi said.
As the women turned heading back the way they came Miranda grabbed Joker by the ear causing him to cry out.
"Come along dear." She said.
Shepard and Jack arrived at the scene as the giant robot smashed a small building.
"How the hell are we going to stop that thing?" Jack gasped.
"How bout we bring a reaper back from the dead, than we smother the robot in jello, than we launch the reaper at the giant robot. I'm pretty sure it will be hungry coming back from the dead." Shepard said.
Jack dead panned.
Suddenly they heard a loud grinding noise and turned to see the robot power down.
"Why did it stop?" Jack asked.
"Because I unplugged it." A voice said in the distance.
As the smoke cleared they caught sight of Garrus er... Bat Garrus... or what was left of him.
His costume was ripped to shreds and he had a few gashes here and there.
"How did you do it Garrus?" Shepard and Jack said rushing up to him.
He sighed and struck a pose "Only the Garrus knows what the Bat Garrus knows."
Shepard and Jack simply stared at him "Huh?" Both said in unison before quickly shaking their heads "What about Jake?" They said.
Garrus smirked and walked over to the leg of the robot. He banged on it once and they heard a loud tumbling noise before a loud crash and a door popped open on the leg and promptly spit Jake out onto the ground.
"You alright Jake?" Jack asked.
The boy nodded and got to his feet.
"So.. let's get back to the ship ok. I'm pretty sure everyone's worried about us." Shepard said. As he turned around he was greeted by several dozen pistols in his face.
Shepard sighed as Jack and Garrus put their hands up. "Why can we never have an uneventful time at the Citadel." Jack said.
"What the hell Shepard? I mean seriously what the hell?" Tevos said as she furiously paced back and fourth with the other two counselors remaining quiet.
"I'm really not sure what to say" Shepard said as he sat at the table. His wives were with him but the children were in the waiting room with Wrex and Miranda.
"We have reports of your children mugging, destroying government property, and effectively putting a candy store out of business." The Turian counselor said.
"Well..." Shepard tried to say but a glare from Tevos silenced him.
"Shepard you leave us no choice.. But to permanently ban you from the Citadel. Bear in mind also that the damages from the destruction your children caused will be taken out of your savings account here on the citadel." The salarian counselor said.
"I have a savings account?" Shepard asked raising an eyebrow.
"Not anymore." Said the Turian counselor.
Shepard sighed and nodded.
"So... what now?" Jack asked.
"You leave!" Tevos said. She than turned to Garrus who had been sitting quietly this whole time "And you... your ass is grass when we get home mister." She said glaring at her husband.
Garrus gulped and nodded.
As Shepard stepped back into the Ship with his children in tow he stopped in the airlock as Joker came up and shook his hand.
"It's nice to see you again Joker.. but next time don't try to corrupt one of my kids ok?" Shepard said.
Joker nodded "Not a problem.. by the way can we hitch a ride? They kind of took everything we had." He said.
Shepard nodded and Joker and Miranda stepped into the ship.
Finally Garrus came up and promised that once he got out of the dog house he would visit.
The door closed and Shepard turned towards his children who were watching him "So... How did everyone enjoy the trip?" He asked.
All their faces lit up "It was awesome. Can we do it again" They said.
Shepard smiled "That's my kids."
A/N: Thank you everyone for everything. Sorry It's taken awhile to get this out but work and personal life are always in the forefront ya know. Till next time :D