I'm Not That Girl
Rated: Teen for romance
Summary: Songfic. "I'm Not That Girl" from the musical "Wicked". Sam watches as Danny crushes hard on Paulina and laments that she will never be the one for him. Or will she? Danny/Sam and Danny/Paulina
Disclaimer: Danny Phantom is owned by Butch Hartman. "I'm Not That Girl" and "I'm Not That Girl (Reprise)" are both from the musical "Wicked". They was written by Stephen Schwartz. "I'm Not That Girl" is performed by Idina Menzel. "I'm Not That Girl (Reprise)" is performed by Kristin Chenoweth.
LES: I just saw "Wicked" and I watched the performance of "I'm Not That Girl" and I instantly thought of Danny/Sam. It's a heart-breaking song. Well… enjoy…
The contact only lasted for a few seconds, and yet it left a searing impression on her.
It was a moment that never should have been, that brief moment during lunch one day when he reached across to her and his hand touched hers for just a tiny moment.
The actual time that passed for as long as their flesh was in contact only amounted to a few seconds. But for Sam, time seemed to freeze as their eyes guiltily met over their touching fingers.
The feeling that rose within her was a familiar one, one that was well-practiced since middle school. That was how long she had known her feelings for Danny Fenton… how long she had been in love with him. The feeling of love spread across her body from their hands like a wild fire.
And just for a moment, as their eyes met, Sam could just imagine that he would finally give her one of his shy grins and admit that he was just keen for contact as she was. For a moment, her dreams almost became a reality and her heart leapt in anticipation.
But then that moment ended. His eyes dropped and he pulled his hand back to himself, a blush of embarrassment staining his face.
All at once, Sam was reminded that she was nothing but a friend to him. That's all she would ever be to him, no matter how much she longed to advance their relationship.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl
Sam sighed and also lowered her eyes. It wasn't like she knew that this wasn't going to happen. She had once heard someone say that if you tried to have everything, you would end up with nothing.
Sure, she could attempt to press herself onto Danny, fall down on her knees and beg him to love her as much as she loved him. But that would do nothing except obliterate their relationship as friends. If she couldn't be his, then she could at least settle for being close to him, no matter how much it hurt her inside.
Her only chance to be close to him was to ignore the way his eyes lit her on fire with passion, to forget the way that her heart leapt every time he touched her, and to forget the love that she felt for him.
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
It seemed that all she had left were her dreams. Dreams where he watched her enter the room instead of Paulina. Dreams of him going out of his way to impress her the way he did for Paulina.
These were all things that might have been if she was not his friend. If she had been able to resist staying away from him until he was ready to start pursuing a romantic relationship, she could have approached him then without fear of ruined friendships.
But these thoughts, rather than being a comfort to her broken heart. They were salt on the wounds of her broken heart. All because she knew that, no matter how hard she wished it, it would never be reality.
Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Every day in class, she would watch him. Technically, they both should have been paying attention rather than zoning off. But while Sam's attention was focused on him, his was focused on her.
She would watch him stare at her day after day, a hopeful grin on his face, tracing the words "Mrs. Paulina Fenton" all over the book report that he was supposed to hand into Mr. Lancer in just a few minutes and then watch him try to hastily erase all the evidence before anyone noticed.
But Sam noticed.
She glared across the way at Paulina, disgusted at her. She practically had a wonderful boy drooling at her feet, the sort of boy that anyone would love… and she spent all her time spurning his love in favor of obsessing over Danny Phantom. (Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom were the same person, but… still…)
She only cared about the mysterious glamor that Danny Phantom offered as a ghostly hero… she didn't actually care about him; and she definitely didn't care about Danny Fenton, whom she regarded as nothing more than a loser with a crush on her. Well… she liked the part that he loved her. She was in love with being loved. It didn't matter who it was, as long as people loved her, she didn't care. If a grizzly bear fell in love with her, she'd probably think it was awesome that her 'cuteness' extended to the animal kingdom as well.
But… it didn't matter how shallow, brainless, or mean-spirited she was… Danny had fallen in love with her. There was nothing she could do to change that.
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl…
Sam forced herself to look the other way and to stop thinking about it. Wishing for things to be different was pointless and foolish, and it did nothing to help her aching heart. Indeed, it only made the problem a hundred times worse.
Let's be honest… she was a Goth. Goths are not perceived as the most romantic people in the world, even if romance was just as possible for them as anyone. Could you really see Sam Mason getting all blushy and giggly over some boy? The one thing she would never do is sacrifice her mind to her love.
Sam didn't want flowers or poems or to be serenaded from her balcony. She just wanted Danny to return her love. But… apparently, that was still too much to ask for.
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl…
Danny couldn't help but notice that Sam seemed to be really out of it for quite a while. He would catch her staring at him, an unreadable expression on her face. Then she'd sigh hopelessly and drop her gaze… pretending that nothing had happened.
But something was happening, Danny was sure of it. Sure, his friends may call him Clueless and, even though it was occasionally true, not everything escaped his notice.
Still, it took him a few weeks to actually confront her. He was still a little weary of the punishment that she had dished out the last time he 'interfered with her business'.
It happened at the end of a late-night ghost hunt. The Box Ghost had escaped once again into the mortal world. What that ghost lacked in power, he made up for in persistence, Danny thought, giving the Fenton thermos a good shake. He broke out of the ghost zone five times as many times as any other ghost.
It was nearing midnight, so Danny spoke up. "Well… I think that's all for tonight. We might as well try to go home and get some sleep before school tomorrow."
"Sure thing, Phantom." Tucker said, yawning. They were starting to get a lot more careful about calling him Phantom. If they called him Danny Phantom too often, it would not be long before someone made the connection between Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom.
The Box Ghost hunt had led them close to Tucker's house, so he left them with a simple good night and began to walk home. This left Sam and Danny Phantom standing alone on the side of the street.
"So… uh… do you want a ride?" Danny asked, opening his arms for her.
"What? Oh! No… I can walk." Sam said quickly.
"Don't be an idiot." Danny said. "Your home is all the way on the other side of town. It will take you an hour to walk that far."
Sam hesitated before she stepped closer to him. With ease, he picked her up bridal-style and took to the air easily.
As she had expected, the close proximity to Danny began the normal chain of reactions through her body. Being close to Danny Phantom was a little different from being this close to Danny Fenton, but it was still the same guy that she was in love with. So it didn't matter if his skin were colder than normal… it still caused a fire inside her.
Sam was shocked when, instead of taking her to her house. Instead he landed on top of a near-by tall building and set her on her feet. "What's wrong?" Sam asked.
"Sam… I couldn't help but notice… that you seem to be a little down recently. I mean, more than normal."
"Oh, very well spotted." Sam said sarcastically.
Danny's eyes fell to his feet. "I'm Clueless, aren't I?"
"Okay, so now that we've got that out of the way… can we just get to what is upsetting you?" Danny asked.
Clueless he may be, but distracted he is not. Sam thought to herself with a huff. "Are you sure you want to know? I can guarantee that you won't be able to handle it."
"How can you be sure?" Danny asked, and then he sighed. "Sam… I know things have been… hectic ever since the accident. And I know that sometimes… me being well… this…" He gestured to himself, referring to his own ghostly powers. "Has put some strain in our friendship that was not there before. But I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I'll try to help to the best of my ability."
"You can't help me this time." Sam said.
"Then I'll listen. Lend you a sympathetic ear." Danny said.
Sam sighed. "If you really think you can handle it… what's really getting me down is the feeling of unrequited love."
"Unrequited?" Danny echoed, confused. "Sam, you are one of the coolest people I know! What guy would be such an idiot that he could not return your feelings?"
"You moron…" Sam whispered, glaring at him. Danny took a step back, surprised by the hurt on her face. "You really can't tell after all this time? Just why do you think that we call you Clueless? It's because, despite being a big idiot… I love you!" She gasped and, before Danny could even properly process what she was saying, she flung herself at him, pressing her lips against his in a hard and demanding kiss.
They froze against each other for several minutes, their lips frozen together, giving no option for movement. Sam was just so afraid that if she gave him the slightest bit of freedom that he would pull away. She was determined… if their friendship was to be ruined, she would at least have one kiss as a parting gift.
Several seconds later, she pulled away and gazed up into his wide and shocked green eyes. His mouth hung open slightly, but no words came out. Sam sighed, taking a half-step away from him. "So… now you know, I guess." She said sorrowfully. "I'm sorry for doing this… ruining our friendship when I know that you love someone else. I just… couldn't help myself anymore. I wish you the best with Paulina." Sam said, turning and starting to walk away.
She was stopped in her tracks by a cold hand grabbing hers. She froze and turned around. Danny had grabbed onto her, desperation clearly written on his face. "Wait." He said simply. "I have a confession to make too. Paulina is not the person I really care about… she hasn't been for some weeks."
"But… you were just so enamored with her…" Sam began, confused.
"Well, I guess I was." Danny admitted. "I did have a pretty hard crush on her… at first. She is beautiful. It's hard not to be drawn in. But there's someone that I care about more… a lot more… than Paulina. I've known this person for years, and she probably knows me better than I know myself. Well… I guess she doesn't know about the fact that I have grown to care about her more than anything. Paulina was just a simple crush. This other girl… I'm in love with her."
Time seemed to slow down again as the hand that was holding hers captive released its grip only to trace a trail up her arm to her shoulder. He gently pulled her closer to him, his eyes meeting hers. His opposite hand found her check, caressing the flesh there while it traveled to the back of her neck, holding her gently.
"Danny…" Sam whispered, realizing that he was guiding her lips to his.
"I love you." Danny whispered just moments before their lips connected in a much more flexible and relaxed kiss. Sam gave a small sob into his mouth, not in sorrow, but in happiness. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hoisting herself up against his body to allow them easier access to each other.
They stayed up on that rooftop for another hour, revealing in their new-found relationship. Of course, the fact that they would both be tired to the point of exhaustion would arouse Tucker's suspicions the next day, but at the moment, Danny and Sam didn't care what Tucker thought… or what anyone would think.
They were together now, and that's all that mattered.
Somewhere close by, Paulina (who really should have been asleep at this time of night) was instead keeping an eye in the sky for super hero and current target of her affections: Danny Phantom!
Oh, it didn't matter to her if he was dead! He was still hot! She didn't care when people called her a necrophiliac. She didn't even know what necrophilia was.
Anyway, she nearly squealed with joy when she saw the ghostly form of Amity Park's protector land on the top of a near-by roof. She was off like a flash, rushing up to the top of her own roof so that she could see better. Not to mention the telescope she had up there for her nightly Danny Phantom-watches.
She swiveled the telescope around until the roof in question came into view, and Paulina was shocked to see that Phantom was not alone. He was in the company of that Goth loser girl… what's her name?
They appeared to be in a deep conversation and then, to Paulina's eternal shock, Goth Girl suddenly pulled Phantom into a kiss! For a while, Paulina simply steamed over the fact that the loser was laying claim to lips that were hers when she saw something else that made her heart stop…
Goth Girl pulled away, and Danny Phantom went back for another kiss, this one a lot more romantic and epic then the one she had given him.
The telescope slipped out of Paulina's hand and swiveled in a random direction. She was too shocked to correct it.
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
LES: Well… I hope you liked it! Now I could totally imagine Danny and Sam on that roof singing "As Long As Your Mine" to each other now.