Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I think that's quite obvious. If I did, I'd be writing adult versions of the stories and making an assload of money. :)
This story has been recently beta'd and updated as of 9/28/2012. A special thank you to Rusty Weasley for doing an amazing job of beta'ing this story (as well as my others!).
Hermione stood there, struck dumb for a moment as she watched the two of them go at it like zoo animals. Red hair and pale skin melded with the smooth tan skin of the blonde in his bed.
Lavender's voice was an annoying high-pitched scream as Ron slammed into her over and over, oblivious to the audience they'd just acquired. Hermione stared in both horror and curious interest for a moment longer before clearing her throat.
"Sorry to interrupt," she said, her voice icy and distant. She would not cry over someone who was willing to throw their relationship away for a bimbo like Lavender Brown.
"Wh- Oh shit!" Ron cried, scrambling off the blonde girl underneath him, as if he could still come up with some excuse for the position Hermione had discovered them in.
"Oh shit, indeed," Hermione said, tears prickling her eyes as the magnitude of the situation finally settled over her. She refused to cry in front of him. "I'll show myself out," she said, turning on her heel and throwing the key to his flat on the floor. What kind of moron gives his girlfriend the key to his flat then brings another girl home to fuck in it?
"Wait!" Ron called, pulling on a tee shirt and boxers. "Stay here," he instructed Lavender who didn't look like she had any plans to go anywhere. He bolted from his bedroom and down to hall to intercept Hermione before she reached the door.
"Wait, Hermione, don't leave it like this," Ron begged. "I just..."
"You just, what, Ronald?" Hermione asked, spinning around to face her boyfriend, although she wasn't sure she would call him that anymore. "You just got bored and decided to fuck Lavender Brown? You couldn't help yourself? It's all a misunderstanding?" Hermione ranted, her voice rising with every word.
"NO!" Ron shouted, his own voice frustrated, as if he had any right. "You just don't get it, Hermione," he finally said, in defeat. It seemed she might actually get the truth out of the lying bastard. "You kept putting it off and putting it off, and a bloke can only hold out for so long."
"Oh, so because I wanted to wait until I'm more established at work to have sex with you," Hermione said, "you were forced to sleep with her," Hermione clarified, a skeptical tone to her voice.
"Look, Hermione. Sex is normal. Everyone our age has sex. You're the only twenty-five year old virgin left on the planet." Hermione was about to protest, but Ron continued. "We've been together for six years and never had sex. Did you think that was normal?"
"So, because I have priorities outside of the bedroom, I've given you a free pass to fuck slags?" Hermione asked with a humorless laugh.
"Look, I'm just telling you the truth. No guy would put up with six years without sex. You barely touch me," Ron said. "You are cold, and a prude, if you want the truth. You are lucky I love you so much."
"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore," Hermione huffed, straightening her jacket around her. "Sleep with whoever you want. I'm done."
"Hermione, we can work this out," Ron pleaded. "If you'd just try and be a little flexible..."
"Ron, I'm not going to have sex to keep you," Hermione said, turning the knob of the door. "If you don't respect my wishes, then we have nothing in common." With that, she opened the door, stormed out, and slammed it behind her. If she never saw Ron Weasley again, it would be too soon.
"Can you believe that?" Hermione pouted into her ice cream. "Lavender Brown, of all people!" She still couldn't believe it.
"Hermione, I understand that you're pissed," Ginny said, taking a spoonful of ice cream. "My brother is a bloody moron, but can I ask you a question?"
"What?" Hermione asked, looking up at her best friend pitifully.
"Do you really think you've been putting off sex with Ron because of your Healer training?" Ginny asked seriously.
"Of course," Hermione answered automatically. "I can't risk the distraction or the possibility that I might get pregnant. Not until I'm settled."
"Okay," Ginny said. "Well, your training ended six months ago. And you know wizarding contraceptive charms are 100% effective," she countered. "So, I'm sorry but your reasons don't add up."
Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat but remained silent. "I think," Ginny continued, "that you didn't want to wait until you were settled in your career, I think you just didn't want to have sex with Ron."
"That's absurd," Hermione rolled her eyes. "I've been with him since school was over. Of course I wanted to have sex with him."
"Really?" Ginny asked, cocking an eyebrow at her friend. "Then, do you have some sort of moral opposition to sex?"
"No, of course not. You know that," Hermione huffed again.
"Okay, so, let me tell you this, Hermione," Ginny said her tone light, as if to soften the blow of what she was about to say. "If a girl has no moral opposition to sex, and wants to fuck her boyfriend, she almost always does. When I was with Harry we never managed to do it because we were really just friends. Sexual situations were awkward and it was easy to 'wait'. When Adrian and I got together you couldn't keep us out of the bedroom, career be damned. Still can't most of the time," Ginny grinned.
Hermione sighed, but had no argument to that.
"Another question," Ginny continued. "Have you ever had a sexual fantasy?"
"Come on, Ginny. You know everyone does," Hermione answered.
"Did you ever have one about Ron?" Ginny asked seriously.
"Well, no." Hermione answered, Ginny's words sinking in. She'd had sexual fantasies about many men from Harry Potter to Lucius Malfoy, but never once about Ron.
"See, Hermione, it's not that you don't want to have sex, or that you aren't ready to have sex, or any of this rubbish about your career. The fact of the matter is that you need to get laid. You want to get laid. You were just with the wrong guy," Ginny explained. Her fiancé, Adrian Pucey took it upon himself at that moment to walk into the kitchen from the living room where he'd been listening in.
"Listen, Hermione," he said, sitting at the table with them. "Women over think these things. The fact of the matter is, if you just lost your virginity to a guy who actually turned you on, you'd get over this ridiculous attitude you have toward sex."
"You were listening?" Hermione shrieked, mortified. The last thing she needed was all his Slytherin buddies hearing about this. Sure, everyone had kissed and made up after the war, especially since the Malfoys turned out to be on the side of the Order all along, but that didn't mean there wasn't a little House rivalry there.
"Slytherin, remember?" Adrian laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes but her cheeks still flamed with a deep blush.
"So you think I should just throw myself at some willing, hot guy and 'get it over with'?" she asked skeptically.
"I didn't say that. I'm just saying that girls tend to put sex on a pedestal until they've had it and realize it's not quite the life changing experience they expected," Adrian explained.
"I'm not some Pollyanna," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.
"No," Ginny said, "but he does have a point. Virginity, while a valuable thing to have at this age, really isn't doing you a lot of favors, is it?"
"Valuable?" Hermione asked, brow furrowed.
"Are you kidding me? How can you be the brightest witch of our age?" Adrian laughed, but stopped when Ginny elbowed him in the ribs. "What I mean, Hermione," Adrian said, trying to control his laughter, "is that virginity at your age is very valuable. If a man can find a woman his own age, with his level of maturity, that he can also deflower, it's like hitting the jackpot."
"Men are disgusting," Hermione scoffed.
"Get off it," Adrian rolled his eyes. "Men like taking virginity, women like money. We all have our vices. People make connections for a lot of different reasons. It's not all hearts and flowers all the time."
"Interesting," Hermione said, thinking to herself. "Well, as enlightening as this had been, I think I'd better get back to my flat. I've got a Weasley to remove from my wards."
"Don't worry, Hermione," Ginny said, as her friend got up to leave. "Ron's a moron, and he will come crawling on his knees to have you back when he realizes what a mistake he made."
"I think you're right," Hermione said. "Though, I don't want him back."
"Good," Adrian said. "Because you are far too hot to be with that waste."
Hermione was surprised not only by his compliment but also Ginny's giggle. He'd just put down her brother, and she didn't seem to care. She guessed Ginny wasn't too happy with Ron either.
As per usual, Hermione spent a solid hour thinking about what had happened that day, and two things stuck out in her mind; the value of virginity and the need to lose it. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Adrian made a very good point about both men and sexuality.
She didn't know any virgins her age. Neville Longbottom had even taken the plunge about three years ago with Hannah Abbott. As a celebrity after the defeat of Voldemort, she could have had her pick of guys, but she chose to stay with Ron, out of some sort of obligation.
It seemed her care and loyalty were misplaced, as he couldn't even talk to her about the problem they were having sexually, and just ran off with whichever slut would have him. Further, to call her cold and a prude was not true. Hermione wasn't one of those girls who had no sexual desires, nor did she find sex dirty or wrong. But she'd just never had any desire to share sex with him. She felt stupid for not having figured out the problem a long time ago.
But that brought her back to her original problem. Her virginity. Adrian was right. She'd been a virgin for so long, the prospect of losing it seemed somewhat daunting. Not to mention, she hadn't dated in six years, and her life before that hadn't been pornographic fantasy. She didn't know where to begin.
Then it hit her. The value of virginity. She'd been working hard to start a ward at St. Mungo's especially for magical creatures and witches and wizards that weren't currently admitted, like werewolves. The board of directors at the hospital said if she wanted one, she'd have to come up with the funding herself. Perhaps she'd just found out a way.
Rushing to the Floo, she registered her call before she could change her mind. "Skeeter, answer the damn Floo!" she yelled, poking her head inside.
Rita Skeeter, dressed in an acid green dressing gown, wandered tiredly to the Floo where Hermione was calling her.
"What on earth could you want?" The blonde woman sighed with irritation. "I haven't posted anymore pictures of your precious little friends. You people are the most famous trio in the Wizarding World, get used to it."
"I'm not here about that," Hermione waved her off impatiently.
"How would you like to have a feature story in Wizard Weekly?" Hermione asked, a Slytherin smirk playing at her lips.
"What are you on about?" Skeeter asked.
"I'm asking you for a favor. In return, you will get a feature story in the most popular men's magazine. But I get final edit," Hermione added quickly.
"What's the story?" Rita asked, skeptically.
"Me," Hermione said. "I'm auctioning off my virginity." The blonde woman's eyes grew wide and hungry, and Hermione knew she had her hooked.