Disclaimer: I don't own Tangled...I wish I could take credit for it, but unfortunately I can't.
This is the story of how I died…
But don't worry; this is actually a very fun story and the truth is it isn't even mine. This is the story of a girl named Rapunzel. And it starts with the sun…
Now, once upon a time, a single drop of sunlight fell from the heavens, and from this drop grew a magic, golden flower. It had the ability to heal the sick and injured. An old woman was the first to discover this flower and its magical gifts. You might want to remember her; she's kind of important.
Well, centuries passed, and a hop, skip and a boat ride away, there grew a kingdom. The kingdom was ruled by a beloved king and queen. And the queen, well, she was about to have a baby, but she got sick…really sick. She was running out of time, and that's when people usually start to look for a miracle.
Or in this case, a magic golden flower.
Remember the old lady from before? I told you she'd be important. You see, instead of sharing the sun's gift, this woman—Mother Gothel—hoarded its healing power and used it to keep herself young for hundreds of years. And all she had to do was sing a special song. Creepy, right?
But one night, Mother Gothel didn't properly hide the flower, and some of the king's men found it. The magic of the golden flower healed the queen. A healthy baby girl—a princess—was born with beautiful golden hair. I'll give you a hint: that's Rapunzel. To celebrate her birth, the king and queen launched a flying lantern into the sky, and for that one moment, everything was perfect.
And then that moment ended. Gothel broke into the castle, stole the child, and just like that, she was gone.
The kingdom searched and searched, but they could not find the princess, for deep within the forest, in a hidden tower, Gothel raised the child as her own. Gothel had found her new magic flower, and this time, she was determined to keep it hidden. But the walls of that tower could not hide everything. Each year on her birthday, the king and queen released thousands of lanterns into the sky in the hope that one day, their lost princess would return.
Now, you're probably wondering what my role in this story is. To get to that, you've got to fast forward about eighteen years.
My name is Flynn Rider. I'm charming, ruggedly handsome, and I happen to be the most wanted thief in the whole kingdom.
Recently, I'd teamed up with the Stabbington Brothers. Those guys were both incredibly big and incredibly scary. One of the brothers had these really awful sideburns, and the other had a pretty creepy eye-patch.
Sideburns, Eye-patch, and I had come up with the perfect plan to steal the princess's crown. The way I saw it, she'd been missing for almost two decades, so it's not like she needed it or anything. Plus, the crown was just sitting out in a room in the palace. No one was using it.
Well, anyway, our story begins with the three of us sliding across the rooftop of the castle. I was in the lead, of course. I signaled the others to stop moving for a moment as a palace guard walked by below us. I peeked over the edge to see if he was gone yet and noticed the incredible view of the city that could be seen from there. You see, I have a keen eye for beauty, and let me tell you, this was one beautiful place.
"Wow," I said, mostly to myself. "I could get used to a view like this."
"Rider," Sideburns whispered harshly from behind me. Clearly he didn't appreciate this place the way I did. "Come on."
"Hold on," I told him, holding up my hand. "Yep, I'm used to it. Guys, I want a castle."
"We do this job," he grumbled, "and you can buy your own castle." He walked behind me and yanked my collar, forcing me to move. Personally, I thought this was a little rude. I mean, it's not like we were running late or anything.
After hopping over a few more rooftops, we finally reached the one we'd been looking for. The brothers removed one of the square panels from the wood ceiling while I tied a rope around my waist. Being the lightest one of the bunch, it was my job to be lowered down to retrieve the crown. I squeezed through the hole and felt myself sinking farther and farther down. There was a line of about ten guards standing with their backs to the crown. I held my breath as I gently lifted the treasure off of its cushion.
Then, one of the guards sneezed. Unable to resist the temptation to mess with them a bit, I said, "Ugh, hay fever?"
The guard didn't notice anything unusual at first, so he responded, "Yeah." About a second later, he realized what was going on and spun around, but by that time I was already climbing out of the hole.
I shoved the crown into a satchel I'd brought, and the brothers and I slid off the roof and quickly ran out of the palace grounds.
We headed over the bridge that connected the kingdom to the forest. I snuck a glance back at the brilliant palace and recalled the magnificent view. "Can't you picture me in a castle of my own?" I asked. "Because I certainly can." I smiled and thought about buying my own castle with the money that the crown would get me. "All the things we've seen and it's only eight in the morning! Gentlemen, this is a very big day."
I tightened my grip on the satchel and began to run a bit faster. I wanted to get away from the kingdom as quickly as possible. Then I could finally ditch Tweedledee and Tweedledum and keep the crown all to myself. There's something you ought to know about me: I don't work well with others. I have a tendency to betray people to get what I want. But doing this had always worked well for me, so I saw no reason why I should change.
After a very long time of constant running, I got tired and stopped to rest against a tree. Some papers stapled to its trunk caught my eye. They were "Wanted" posters with sketches of the three of us. I tore off mine and looked down at it.
"Oh no," I said, staring at the picture in shock. "No, no, no, no, no, no. This is bad. This is very, very bad. This is really bad." The brothers had stopped and were looking at me. I turned the paper around so that they could see it. "They just can't get my nose right."
"Who cares?" Sideburns muttered disdainfully. Clearly he didn't understand. My good looks were my only good quality. It was just plain cruel for the guards to mess up my picture.
"Easy for you to say," I told him, bending down to get a better look at the picture of the Stabbingtons. "You guys look amazing." Well, they didn't really look amazing. They looked hideously ugly, but that's how they looked in real life too, so at least the artist had drawn them right.
Suddenly, I heard the sounds of several approaching horses. Oh crap. They'd caught up to us. I turned around to see about five members of the royal police sitting on their horses on top of a small cliff nearby. They spotted us right away and turned around to find a way to get to us. I shoved the "Wanted" poster into my satchel and sprinted in the opposite direction. I tripped a little bit but quickly got back to my feet and kept running right past the Stabbington brothers. I started to wonder why they had stopped when I looked up and saw that we were trapped. Two large walls of rock, each about fifteen feet high, stood on either side of us and came together at a point straight ahead.
Thinking quickly, I turned to the brothers and said, "Alright, okay, give me a boost and I'll pull you up."
They exchanged a look. "Give us the satchel first," Sideburns demanded, holding out his hand.
With the air of being greatly insulted, I said, "What? I just…I can't believe that after all we've been through together you don't trust me." I looked at them with an offended expression and put my hand over my heart to show that I'd been hurt by their distrust. Neither one seemed to buy my little act. "Ouch," I muttered, but I couldn't blame them for doubting me.
I took off the bag and I handed it to Sideburns. He put it around himself and stood on top of his brothers shoulders. They then leaned against the wall, and I climbed up them, taking extra care to make this as painful as possible. When I saw Sideburns concentrating more on the pain of my feet digging into the back of his legs than on the security of the satchel, I slyly grabbed the strap and took it with me.
"Now help us up, pretty boy," Sideburns commanded, holding out his hand.
I looked down at them with a cocky grin. "Sorry. My hands are full." I dangled the bag over the edge for them to see.
I heard the brothers shout, "Rider!" as I started running again. I could hear the sound of galloping horses closing in. The five officers rode up on their horses and began to shoot arrows at me from behind. I did my best to dodge these and kept ducking behind trees for cover.
As I was running, I noticed a vine hanging out in front of me. I grabbed onto it and swung around the tree it was attached to. With impeccable timing, the leader of this squad of royal police was riding up right in front of me as I swung down. I kicked the rider off of the saddle and took his place on the horse.
I had just turned around to laugh at the man I'd knocked off when the horse suddenly stopped. It turned around and glared at me.
"Come on, flee-bag, forward," I commanded. I just made the most fantastic escape ever and I was not about to let some animal screw it up for me.
But this horse was a bit smarter than average. He noticed the satchel in my hand and started trying to get it away from me. The horse and I struggled for a bit, fighting over the bag until it was flung out of my hands and landed on the edge of a branch that was hanging over a cliff. I managed to grab onto the branch and slowly crawled over toward the crown, but the horse kept stomping its hooves where my hands were going to go. I finally reached the satchel and held it up in the horse's face.
"Ha," I said smugly.
But my victory was short-lived. The branch snapped off the side of the cliff and the horse and I plummeted down to the grassy forest floor below. Luckily, I landed in a soft spot behind a large rock. As soon as the horse was out of sight, I came out of my hiding spot and walked through a curtain of ivy that was growing down in front of the mouth of a short cave. I found a space between the rocks that formed the back of the cave and quickly squeezed through that hole.
What I saw next took my completely by surprise. I was standing in the middle of a small clearing with trees on each side and mountains in the back. A waterfall fell from the side of a mountain and created a peaceful stream. But this natural beauty wasn't what caught my eye. Instead, my attention was drawn toward the tower that stood alone in the center. It was a quaint little place and looked like it had been taken directly out of a storybook. I couldn't help but feel a little bit of childish excitement as I thought about the many fairytale princes that had gone on similar adventures only to come out with money and a beautiful princess.
I heard a sound behind me that brought be back to reality. I was a thief, not a prince, and this tower was probably abandoned. With this thought in mind, I began to climb up its side, hoping to use this spot as my hiding place.
It took a lot of work but I finally managed to climb through the window at the top of the tower. I closed the shutters and pulled out my satchel.
This wasn't a fairytale; this was a getaway. I wasn't there to rescue some damsel in distress. No, I was there to enjoy my spoils.
I pulled off the satchel and opened it. "Alone at last," I muttered to the crown, smiling down at it.
Then, I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head as something large and metal collided with my skull.