I have been gone a long time. I know this. Here is the FGB one shot I promised to Camila. She asked for SB's Edward/Bella/Jasper in a ménage trios but I just couldn't do it, so I gave them another story and let them go at it. Anyway, apologies on how long this took and I am STILL working on FGB stuff. I know I suck at life. This is not beta'd. I don't have a beta and yeah, idk if I'll get one. Apologies for the errors.
Fantasies, everyone has them. From the moment you can form thoughts and dream, as a human being, you fantasized. When you're younger, it's about silly things like toys, going places, or reaching the moon in that cardboard box the fridge came in.
As you get older, they become more complex. The sports you want to play, the activities you'd like to be good at, what you'll be when you become an adult.
When you're old enough to know better you start to fantasize about what you know you can never have.
That is of course the seed of a fantasy; it's un-attainability. With hard work and persistence you might be able to reach it, but at that moment when you're eyes glaze over and you know you can't quite get it, you're mind supplies the visual for you.
It places you in that corner office with wide bay windows and a nice oak desk. It sits you in the driver seat of that expensive foreign car. It puts you in your dream home and shows you all your deepest desires. Fantasies can also show you the darkest wishes you never knew you wanted. Your conscience knows about them before you do.
Like a creeping vine, it curls around you in your dreams. It slithers over your body and mind and when it's firmly wrapped around you, it squeezes until you wake up sweating and pulsating from want and pleasure. It's the ultimate fantasy; the sexual fantasy.
From every seed of want comes a fruit of temptation. For most people it's easy to tamp down these thoughts. It's normal to categorize them and neatly store them in a box where they'll do no harm.
Like nearly every person out there I had done the same thing. I had writhed and moaned in my sleep only to wake up and almost forcibly forget what I had been so worked up over for the past six hours I was unconscious.
I had been doing a damn good job of it too until one night my secret came out. I learned a lot about myself that night and a lot about life. I learned most of all that some secrets should be kept that way and some fantasies while dangerous and exotic were nothing like they could be when they came true.
I met Edward when I was seventeen. I spent my last semester of my last year in Forks, Washington with my dad and the glorious Spartans.
Que eye roll.
Edward was the guy who fit into ever clique. He played baseball, so he was a jock, but football status jock. He played the piano, so he was in with the band geeks and choir nuts. He had a huge interest in technology, so he was pals with all the cyber nerds. He was hot, so he was popular with all the girls and because of his perfect GPA all the teachers loved him. Not to mention his father had practiced medicine in Seattle for nearly ten years before moving to Forks. There was literally no one in Forks who did not like Edward.
He had his close friends but he was an all around nice guy who got along with everyone.
On the outside, he had everything; good-looks, money, friends, smarts, and personality that could charm snakes. On the inside however…well on the inside he was much different.
When I first met him, I was in awe of him. He balanced his life like a stick of butter on a hot knife's edge. He played ball, studied enough to be at the top of his class and still made time to get drunk on the weekends like any normal high school guy.
Everyone loved Edward Cullen. Everyone.
It seemed as if the moment I stepped foot in Forks High I knew my life was set for me. It was a strange feeling at seventeen but the moment I saw Edward walking down the hall I knew I was a goner.
At first, we looked at each other a lot. We didn't have any classes together but we did have the same lunch period. It took him a week to come up to me. The moment Edward Cullen said hello to me I belonged to him. Because what no one else knew about Edward was it was all or nothing.
He had dated casually his sophomore and junior years but never really hit a fourth date with anyone. He liked knowing girls wanted him. He liked being free. He said it was like something was telling him to wait for me.
We got to know each other outside of academia. He invaded my lunch space at school. Soon we shared a locker and he drove me to school in the mornings. It took me a while to see it but after four months of dating I realized there was nothing in my life that was Edward free.
I was fine with it. Neither one of us were virgins when we finally had sex but Edward made sure to let me know he was going to be my last. He reminded me of that every time his hot, slick skin pressed against mine and he pulled himself from my body. I was his and no one else would ever have what was his.
The thing about Edward was he was nothing like the person he showed the world. Edward was insecure, angry, and possessive. I know that this is true for everyone in some way but for him, it was obsessive.
He smiled and joked all day long and as soon as we were off campus and driving to his house, he would curse about his homework, a bad practice, anything really. He would grip my hair and kiss me until I couldn't breath, pushing me down and covering my body with his own.
Edward never forced me to do anything, I just want to make that clear. He loved curling around my body though, to the point where I sometimes felt physically suffocated. It was just how he was. He was scared shitless that I would evaporate into thin air.
Another thing people didn't know about Edward; he was adopted when he was seven. To this day I don't know the story about that but I do think it's why he's always been so protective over me and why he hates change.
Edward and I had been together forever. At twenty five, we'd settled down and were happy.
Edward was teaching music theory and directing the band at Dartmouth and I was finishing my teaching degree so that I could join him on the faculty one day.
Life was good.
One morning I woke up in a sweat, the threads of a dream slipping away from me. My body flushed and Edward between my legs, his mop of hair tickling my hip as his lips rubbed lazily over the inside of my thigh. I could still feel where he had them pressed into me before, smell my sex on him as he rose up to kiss me.
"You were driving me crazy baby. I love it when you dream about me."
I sighed pleasantly as he kissed my neck and rubbed his hands up and down my body. I felt his straining cock bump against my leg and spread myself wider for him.
We made love now without direction or hints. It was like breathing for us. He slid into me with a guttural moan and our bodies knew the rhythm to our release. Slow and soft to frantic and wild. The feel of him releasing inside me always threw me over the edge.
I sighed and melted into him, feeling lazy and relaxed. There was no telling him about the dream that haunted me at my basest sexual level.
Edward would never understand and worst of all I knew in my bones it would hurt him. It could cut through him and destroy what we had. He would never understand why I wanted this. He would never see that it had nothing to do with him. He was the best lover and the most considerate man. He had his rough days and his lows but he always put me first and he was never mean or violent towards me. I was so fucking lucky to call him mine and I knew that, which is why I would kiss him fiercely and hold him close to me while beating down the fantasy and dutifully ignoring it.
Time moved on, I graduated, Edward proposed and we went on with our lives. I could see the subtle changes in Edward as the months rolled on. He was still the same loving man I'd come to know and adore. He still had his issues and I still had mine but along the way he began to get complacent. I could see it in the things he did. I could taste it in the air at night when we were going to bed.
I was becoming a sure thing. On a realistic level I understand that it was going to happen. When you're with someone for so long you just come to the realization that they're there and they're not leaving you. So all those little things that make your life special suddenly fade away like a mirage. The water is there to drink whenever so the threat of a desert isn't even a small worry.
I began to resent that. I treated Edward like he was the king of my world. I always had and I always would. When my parents divorced I swore to myself that my husband or significant other would always feel wanted and loved. I worked at that ever day. I never wanted Edward to leave me because I hadn't treated him the way I should have. Like my mother should have treated my father.
I made sure dinner was always ready, since I did get home a few hours before him. I always had his band instructor blazer ready for his competitions. His clothes were always clean, his toiletries never empty and the house was never messy. I gave him his private time to write music or just decompress and I bared my body to him whenever he wanted me. I rarely said no to Edward.
At first, it was a two way street. Edward treated me like the queen to his king and went out of his way to make me feel special. Flowers, poems, dinner out at nice restaurants and backrubs at night when I was feeling my monthly hell. He never demanded sex when he thought I wasn't in the mood, he petted me and spoiled me, making me feel so cherished.
The little things started to fall away though I was left with a husband who took and smiled and loved me like I was never going to leave. I was optimistic though and I attributed it to pre wedding stress and nerves. Maybe this was just a long spell and he would snap out of it one day. I'd come home and he'd have dinner done before me with flowers and soft music. Or one night he'd love me and tell me I was his whole world again instead of just falling asleep after a quick 'thank you' peck to the cheek.
But the months dragged on and the only time I felt special was my birthday and even then, that sort of thing is expected. The wedding was put off because of one reason or another and I began to get worried. At first, it made sense. Alice, his sister, would never be able to get time off work to come. I understood her presence was very important to Edward because it was important to me as well. Emmett and Rose were living in Maine and they were expecting their first child. It wasn't a great time to have a newborn at a wedding. Then there was the whole fact that getting married any other time but during the summer would be impossible since we both worked at school.
But then when things lined up and it seemed like it was going to happen Edward had issues with the dates. He has issues with the places and the honeymoon destination. I understood how finicky he could be about these things. His choosy nature was endearing to me but as time dragged on I just wanted to be married to the man I loved more than anything. I could elope in Vegas and be on cloud nine. I was feeling heavy and… scared.
I was scared shitless. Because it seemed like he was trying to find a way to let me go instead of hold on to me.
It was four weeks until summer break and the kids were going crazy. College students were insane but right before any sort of holiday or break they were downright frightening. I sighed and pushed my hair back from my face and looked at the generic black and white clock hanging over my small office door.
I bit my lip thinking about the time and sucked in a determined breath. I booted up my laptop and leaned back in my chair pondering my next move.
If he doesn't appreciate me going out of my way for him then I'll just stop. I'll stop having dinner ready when he gets home. He can get his own dry cleaning and he can jerk himself off in the shower.
I smiled in satisfaction at that.
It's not like I'm his wife or anything.
My lips turned down at that thought and I blinked a few times to keep the tears from coming. I was not going to be that kind of girl. I was not going to let something like this break me down.
My mouse hovered over my desktop screen and I clicked the icon to start Chrome. I browsed the internet between classes and I loved looking for good writing on free websites. Most of the work was shitty and not worth the time but when you found a good piece it was really good. There was so much untapped talent out there waiting to be found.
I clicked around my usual haunts and read a few short stories that killed an hour. Edward still wouldn't be home until five so I had another hour before I needed to pack up. I wanted him to come home to dark house, no dinner, and nothing to wear the next day. I wanted him to see what was always done for him until now. Maybe then I'd see some kind of effort from him.
As the seconds ticked by I lost myself in other worlds. I laughed at funny lines and felt tears well up at the sad ones.
As the next page loaded I took in the bright artwork on the side of the page. It was a site I'd never been to before and the only words on the banner were 'Desire. Lust. Fantasies.' and a black and white photo of a woman arching her corset clad chest and a man trailing a long feather down her neck, into her cleavage. Below that was the web address www . forbiddenquil . com.
I looked around my cubical size office, as if someone was going to catch me clicking on it. The IT department was going to have a good laugh if they were monitoring my activity right now that was for sure.
I clicked on it because I'm a red blooded woman who likes sex.
The website wasn't fancy or complicated to navigate but the material was fantastical and stimulating. I had never in my life thought about something like this before. To write about sex was just…well I didn't have a word for it. It was the most brilliant thing I'd ever stumbled upon. I felt stupid then for not realizing this before. Of course people would write about sex. Of course they would. Sex is the most natural thing there is.
Suddenly it was seven o' clock and I could hear the cleaning crew outside buffing the tile and taking out the garbage. As if on cue a tall man in overalls opened my door and walked in carrying an empty garbage bag.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought the building was empty."
I stood even though I had no reason to and blushed to my toes.
"No, no I was just finishing up something I'll be out of your way, excuse me."
He shrugged and turned up the volume on his iPod before collecting my trash and putting the new empty bag in the receptacle.
I packed up my laptop and gathered the rest of my things before leaving.
I was in my car, the rain beading up on my windshield as I pulled out of campus and turned toward home when I was struck with the odd thought that I wasn't ready to go home just yet. Home would mean talking to Edward. Home would mean dealing with his bitching or even worse, his silence.
I made the decision and made a u-turn before I would be able to and drove back toward town. I grabbed my laptop bag and jogged as quickly as I could in the misting rain toward the low key coffee shop I liked to go to at lunch and went inside. They didn't close until eleven, thank God.
The place wasn't crowded at all but I was lucky to snag a two seated table near the back wall. I hated sitting in the middle of the room where people could hover over you.
I plugged in my laptop and ordered a large coffee with lots of cream and sugar before slipping off my heels and sliding them underneath me.
I didn't get back onto Forbidden Ink again, not wanting to get caught by a student reading erotic literature. Instead I checked my email and read a few assignments before zoning out.
"Hi, you're Ms. Swan right?"
I startled and looked up into the eyes of a gorgeous man in his late twenties.
I stammered and blushed at first, wanting to punch myself for being so adolescent.
"Yes, have we met?"
He smiled kindly and sat in the chair opposite me.
"I'm Jasper Whitlock. I teach Health."
I sighed in relief and shook his hand, noting how his covered mine completely and the dry warmth in his palm.
He was handsome with sandy blond hair that waved around his face. It was a little longer than Edward's and not as thick but still beautifully shiny and healthy, reminding me of a lion's mane. His face was angular and pleasant, his eyebrows thick and masculine. His eyes though, cobalt blue and striking, were the main attraction. Just like Edward's strange green eyes that were like a tempestuous sea green under a violent gray sky.
I almost cringed at my thoughts. I was born to be an English teacher.
We made pleasantries for a while and right when I thought he was only being polite and possibly wanted to get away our conversation turned somewhat personal and we began to share stories.
I learned that he was in this vocation because he had a soft spot of kids at that certain age where the decisions they make can impact them forever. He taught at a high school in California before moving here to teach at Dartmouth.
It was while he was speaking about his family that I started to feel the warning bells go off in my head. I was commiserating with him. I was relating and that was fine but it didn't feel like I was connecting with a friend. This felt like a first date. This felt intimate, tucked in the back of a coffee shop talking about our lives like it was some kind of relationship interview.
Then I saw the time and it was as if the fire that those warning bells were telling me about had consumed me. Ten forty five and I had third degree burns.
"I-I have to go…I'm sorry, my fiancé is going to be worried sick wondering where I am."
Jasper looked at me then and I saw it in his face. He seemed crushed but quickly rebounded.
"I didn't mean to keep you for so long, geez your right it's almost eleven."
We parted ways and I pushed the speed limit getting back to our house just after eleven thirty. I felt shaky getting out of the front seat. The lights were still on. All of them.
I walked into the house and dropped my keys on the table by the hallway closet. My laptop bag was off my shoulder and I took a step towards the living room when Edward's body came crashing into me from the kitchen.
"Jesus Christ, where the fuck have you been? I've been freaking out Bella! Do you know what time is it? Where the fuck is your phone? I've been calling and texting you like crazy. Bella? Answer me!"
I took a deep breath and fought the urge to cringe. I had left my phone in my laptop bag and didn't think to check it as I left the coffee shop and by the time I'd started driving I was too scared to reach into the back seat to try and get to it.
This was the moment where I could play things off and tell him I had coffee with a coworker and lost track of time. Or, I could tell him I didn't feel like being at his beck and call if he didn't appreciate it anymore and I wasn't going to come home before him and do all the chores for someone who wasn't even my husband. I could play it off or I could sting him like he stung me.
But the words wouldn't come. The tears were choking them out. I cried and hiccupped and snot was pouring out of me but I couldn't stop. I was so tired of the changes, of him pushing off the wedding, of being stepped on and unappreciated. I was tired of it. I slid down to the floor of the hallway and he followed me, his strong hands holding onto my shoulders and pulling me onto his lap, his arms wrapping around me protectively.
So, in halting words and high pitches cries, I told him how I felt. How I felt unappreciated and at times unloved. How I felt like he was getting tired of me and how he stopped doing all those special things for me. I told him how I was going to come home late so he would realize how much I did for him because I wanted to be a bitch and childish instead of doing what I had been and just sucking it up. I told him I lost track of time at school only to realize what happened when the cleaning staff came in and before I could tell him about going to the coffee shop he interrupted me with a kiss.
It wasn't until he pulled away when I saw his face red and flushed with tears.
"Baby, oh God, I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. I know how much you take care of me, Jesus, I know and I'm so fucking sorry baby. I… I'll be better and god baby we'll get married tomorrow if you want. I wanted everything to be…perfect for you. I wanted it to be more than I could give you right now. J-just listen okay and don't get mad because it's not how it's going to sound but I should never have proposed when I did."
My heart grew cold and I felt another round of tears threatening to burst through.
"I should have waited until I could give you the fairy tale wedding you deserve but baby I couldn't wait. I wanted to see that ring on your finger. I wanted to call you my fiancé and I'm dying to call you my wife but right now, I'm trying to save up as much as I can because I want you to have that church on seventh street that you wanted – don't…don't tell me you don't because I know you Bella. I know you so fucking well and I saw the way you looked at that church and how your eyes lit up. I saw how you wanted that chiffon dress in the window of that stupid Frills and Fancy store but I also saw the way your eyes looked at the price tag. I want you to feel beautiful when we get married. I want you to have that dress and that church and I want to wear that stupid off white silk vest so we'll match and have some ridiculously tall cake that we'll only have a slice out of before we leave for our Honeymoon and I want us to go to Europe and go on that backpacking trip instead of staying here in the states. But right now baby I can't afford that so I've been putting it off. I want to get you so much but I couldn't help it. I got the ring and Jesus I felt like a prick because I held off on buying it until I could get it on sale but I love you. I love you and I have to give you everything or I'm not worthy of you. Do you understand? I want to buy you flowers and take you out to dinner but I want to save up so I can do that in Rome or Paris, or London, or fuck Amsterdam."
And he was crying so hard at the end my heart broke into a million pieces but I didn't know and I should have known. I should have known all of this but I didn't. I cried with him and we held onto each other for dear life right there in the hallway of our little house that I took for granted before I realized that while both our paychecks were enough to pay the mortgage I had taken all of it for granted.
That night we made love over and over again to the point that I wasn't sure there was a time we weren't kissing, touching or moving together.
The next day, I woke up to kisses on my toes and ankles before breakfast in bed. We went to the movies and the bookstore together acting like teenagers as we made out in the stacks and in the last row of the theatre. We got lunch at a cheap diner and he tugged my hair like he knew I liked and when we got home he rubbed my feet in front of the TV as we watched Jeopardy.
We snuggled in bed that night and talked like we hadn't in months and it felt so fucking good having us back.
I had my Edward back, the man who went the extra mile and took the extra care. Months went by and we both watched the numbers in our bank account get higher and then lower and then higher and higher. We made plans for Europe and I put the dress I wanted on layaway. I was so happy I thought I could burst from it all.
After my classes I would spend my usual hour and a half browsing online and then pack up to get home. Some days when Edward would call me and let me know he had tutoring after school I would go to the coffee shop that I had met Jasper at. Sometimes he was there and other times he wasn't but when he was…when he was we would talk and it was so nice to be able to unload on someone. It was so nice to have someone who treated me like a friend and who didn't expect anything in return but an ear to listen. We took turns and after a while it seemed there wasn't a time when Jasper wasn't in the coffee shop to meet me. He seemed to just know when I'd need him there.
As time drew on and I felt confident in my relationship with Edward the dreams came back. As if they knew that I was content and in my life they needed to show me that there was one thing I would never get. One thing I would never have.
In the scheme of things it wasn't really much but when you can't have it, it's worth increases exponentially.
My nights were filled with hands on my body, lips on my breasts and… well you get the picture.
I wanted more. Just once. Just once I wanted to filled completely. Just once I wanted to know what it felt like.
Some nights I would have the dream and wake up feeling like I didn't sleep at all. My brain would be foggy and I would lag all day. Other days I would wake up and feel like I'd slept for a week. My face rosy and refreshed my mood intensely happy. I was a rollercoaster of pent up sexual energy. So pent up, I was sure one man alone wouldn't be able to tame me.
Time was something of a friend and foe. It dragged when I thought of the wedding but when I was with Jasper, it flew. I learned so much about him and yes, I felt extremely guilty about not mentioning how close I was to him, to Edward. But I had plans on rectifying that soon. I had invited Jasper over to the house to have dinner with Edward and I.
In the mean time I was covering all my bases with school so that I wouldn't have to worry about a thing after the honeymoon.
I mentioned having Jasper over to Edward casually one night while he was going over some music theory assignments and he answered me in the usual way he does when he's concentrating on grading papers, a non-committal affirmation. Two weeks later Edward snorted at me as I laid out his black short sleeved polo and a pair of clean jeans.
It was a casual dinner and I had told Jasper so. I'd marinated steaks for the grill, baked potatoes, and put together a salad. Glancing at the clock it was almost five thirty and I needed to get a shower and get dressed. I picked out a pair of light blue jeans and an emerald green button down shirt. The sleeves rolled up to my elbows and left the top three unbuttoned so that the top of my white undershirt could be seen.
I forwent shoes and padded out to the kitchen where the potatoes were almost done and the salad was chilling in the fridge. Edward was lighting the grill outside and I felt my heart stutter as I watched his hair hang over his eyes as he fiddled with the lighter. Suddenly the coals lit and his face flashed red and orange. Sighing, I leaned a hip against the counter and continued to watch him through the sliding glass doors. He was so amazing.
And suddenly the guilt was back in full force. It flashed for a moment before being completely replaced with nerves and fear. What if Edward didn't like Jasper? What if he became jealous and they argued? I had no romantic feelings for Jasper. I liked him as a friend. He was easy to talk to and he was impartial, so that all his advice seemed reasonable. What if Jasper didn't see me as a friend? What if he wanted more? Well, I did invite him to have dinner with my fiancé.
"What's got you all worked up?"
I sucked in a breath, so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed Edward coming inside. He smelled a little like smoke and fresh rain. I nuzzled into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist instantly seeking his comfort and love.
"I just want you and Jasper to get a long. He's really nice and I hope that you like him too."
For a brief second I felt him stiffen. Just a slight flex of his chest and abs before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me tightly. His lips pressed against my forehead and he sighed before squeezing me to him.
"I'm sure if you like him I'll like him too."
I wanted to explain to him that I didn't have those feelings for Jasper, but I knew that would only make him suspicious that I brought it up in the first place. I wanted to then tell him that I knew how his mind worked and I knew that he would be jealous of a stranger that looked at me from across the street so this was definitely a situation for me to worry about.
Before I could do anything however there were three raps on our door. I took in one slow procrastinating breath and held onto Edward for just a few seconds longer before moving to get the door. I could feel Edward behind me before he slipped his fingers into the waistband of my jeans to trail along.
When I opened the door Jasper stood there wearing a grey long sleeved Polo with the sleeves pushed up and some old ratty cargo pants. They looked rough but so clean at the same time.
"Jasper come inside! The steaks are almost ready to go on the grill."
He smiled politely and stepped into the house, his eyes traveling over the photo's on the walls. Pictures of me and Edward that dated all the way back to high school were littered all over the place. I loved having our history out for everyone to see. For some reason knowing that Jasper could see all of this…it made me happy to know that it was one more way for space to be put between any thoughts of romantic notions for us.
"This is my fiancé Edward. Edward this is Jasper."
"Jasper, it's nice to meet you. I think I've seen you before around campus."
Jasper smiled again, this time he looked more relaxed.
"Yeah, I teach Health. I've seen a lot of the band performances at the games. You've done an excellent job teaching those kids how to play."
I knew that Jasper had said the right thing when Edward's face lit up and they proceeded to talk as they walked back out to the patio. Edward grabbed the tray of steaks and I smiled in relief at them.
While they got acquainted I tidied up the kitchen and set the dining room table before joining them.
"Jasper can I get you anything to drink? We have beer, wine, water, juice, a few cokes…anything?"
"A beer would be great thanks." I smiled at him and looked at Edward raising an eyebrow.
Edward had a smile on his face and I was glad to see he didn't seemed upset by Jasper at all. In fact he seemed to be enjoying his company.
In a fraction of a second however he proved me wrong and stood up to swallow me up in his embrace. His chin dropped down onto my shoulder and he kissed my neck. I was surprised at how casual he had made the whole move look.
"Share a glass of wine with me, Love?"
Edward called me Love a lot but never in public. He called me Love when he came inside me and when he gripped my hair and asked me how hard I wanted him to fuck me. He called me love when he stroked my cheek after feeding me breakfast in bed and he called me Love when he kissed my belly button while I was grading papers. It was an intimate name and occasionally when he was feeling clingy or romantic he called me Love in public but never where others could hear him, just in whispers where his lips caressed my ears.
In public I was Bella, Baby, Honey, Sweetheart. I was not Love. And I was suddenly back in high school, crying and explaining that I felt nothing for Jacob Black. Sobbing as I told him I would never love anyone else and finally feeling as if the floor was put back beneath me as Edward took my face and called me Love, saying he would never let anyone else take me away from him. Edward was reminding me who I belonged to because he knew what the pet name would do to me. It would remind me of all the times he had used it.
"Sure baby but you'll need to reach the big glasses for me."
He smirked and kissed my temple before gesturing for Jasper to join us in the kitchen.
"The steaks should be fine for a minute and you can grab a beer while we're inside."
Once inside the kitchen I grabbed Jasper a beer and a bottle of red wine before hopping up on the counter and swinging my legs as Edward reached up to the top shelf and grabbed a large globe shaped wine glass. We only had four of them, they were a gift from Esme and Carlisle when we moved into the house. I joked that they were so big we'd use them when Edward and I wanted to share a glass.
I told Jasper the story and he chuckled as I opened the bottle of wine and poured a healthy amount for Edward and I.
"I keep asking him to put at least one or two down where I can reach them but he never does. I guess it doesn't matter because I'd never finish a whole one by myself anyway."
Jasper's soft laugh sent a buzz up my spine, or maybe that was the wine…
"We should check on the steaks."
Edward tugged on my sleeve and slid me off the counter, pressing my body flush against his own before setting me on my feet. I sighed as my breasts pressed into his chest and he smirked again knowing what he was doing.
We finished cooking the steaks and had dinner. Conversation was light and I'm ashamed to say half of it was gossiping about the other faculty members. We laughed a lot and the more wine and beer we drank the sillier we got. I offered for Jasper to stay in the guest room and he accepted. He wasn't sure it was a good idea to drive home on his bike.
When Edward heard he had to see it and they both went outside to look it over and talk about its features. I was feeling tired and they weren't coming in anytime soon so I said my goodnights to them quickly before heading up to bed. I put on one of Edward's old shirts and a pair of cotton panties before slipping under the sheets. I moved over into Edward's spot and inhaled his pillow before the wine carried me off to sleep.
When I woke up I felt Edward's warm hands sliding over my body, under my shirt as he caressed me. My body was wound from the evening but buzzed still from the alcohol. Even so, his fingers slipping in and out of my wet heat was intense and his body caved around my own caused me to become drunk on Edward. I came intensely, whimpering his name, my legs writhing around him. His stiff cock rubbing lazily up and down against my pussy.
I moaned for him, gripping his shoulders my whimpers getting louder as I tried to angle my body for him. He avoided me though softly grunting against my shoulder as he worked the underside of his heavy cock up and down over my soaking slit. Every time he pushed up the tip of his cock would stroke my clit and I would keen.
"That's it baby I want to make you cum, I want to make you cum without my fingers inside you. I want you to cum knowing my cock is right there at your pussy baby. Cum baby."
His throaty words were not soft or loud but they filled the silence of our bedroom and I had a thought press into my head that we should be quiet. We shouldn't be doing this right now but those thoughts were eluding me and I wanted Edward. I was liquid fire and I was burning for him. Each time he denied me I felt the pleasure triple and the fire stoke. Each time the head of his cock pressed into my clit, slick, wet and hard I moaned. I threw my head back as I felt my muscles spasm and Edward cursed as he reared back, his right hand gripping his girth and his left roughly pushed my shirt up.
Hot spurts of cum splashed over my stomach, my breasts, and my neck. I felt some hit my chin and my lips. My tongue came out and I licked it away.
Edward growled and I opened my fuzzy eyes, watching him stroking his softening cock.
I lazily trailed my fingers in his cum and licked it off my fingers. I slid out from beneath him and he watched me with hooded eyes as I bent down on my hands and knees, my bare ass in the air, his shirt swathed around my ribs as I took his soft member in my mouth and sucked it clean.
I used his shoulders to anchor myself as I matched his pose on the bed and kissed him. He was hungry and possessive, his mouth hard on my own, strong arms sliding around me like a steel cage.
And the spell was broken. Jasper was sleeping in our guest room…right next to our room. He must have heard us. He couldn't have missed the sounds we were making. But then again he had had a lot to drink. Maybe he was passed out cold. Alcohol tended to make people sleep deeper and longer. Oh God, I could only hope.
The evil glint in Edward's eyes let me know he did this on purpose and I wanted to feel used, to feel bad that he had made love to me….no he had fucked me to make a point but I was too tired and too drunk to care. I slid down and tried to drift off.
Before sleep claimed me I felt a warm wash cloth glide over my torso, Edward's hands trailing over my flesh and kissing my skin.
In the darkness there was a bed. Red and black silk sheets with decadent throw pillows littering the glossy sheets as they rippled over the plush mattress. Three pillows lined the head board. Three glossy black pillows with red patterns swirling over them. They were fluffed perfectly and lined up neatly.
Candles flickered in and out as my body was stroked. Pale strong hands moved up my legs as tan ones glided over my shoulders.
I was pulled over a strong chest and pressed flat as my legs spread. Dark freckled shoulders loomed over me as I felt the weight settle.
"Hold her legs open Jasper."
I gasped and sat up quickly.
"Are you going to be sick?"
Edward's worried voice was so close I jumped. His hands shot up to steady me as I wobbled on the bed.
"What? Oh…no. I'm not feeling sick…I just…strange dream."
Edward's brows creased and he hummed strangely before running a hand through his hair.
"I made breakfast. You were sleeping and I hated to wake you. Jasper left about an hour ago. He said to tell you he enjoyed dinner last night and he was grateful you invited him."
I felt like there was something underlining his tone of voice. Something not quite passive in the inflection of his words.
"Edward about last night-"
"God you were incredible. I'd never…I mean Bella it's never been like that. Couldn't you feel it?"
He pushed me back down onto the bed and his face was getting closer to mine. I put my hand on his chest and pushed hard.
His face went from hurt to pissed in a flash.
"Not until I brush my teeth. That wine did a nasty number to my tongue. I smell like a brewery making sour red."
His eyes cleared and he laughed at me.
"Fine. Brush then come ravage me. I'll be waiting."
I giggled and scurried into the bathroom. It was mornings like this when I felt like we were back in college and still finding out how to be around each other in the mornings. It was like I just started living with him all over again.
After brushing and gargling, then untangling my hair and washing my face I ran back into the bedroom and jumped into the bed. I felt sixteen again.
Edward and I laughed and rolled around in bed for a few hours before dressing. When I say dressing I mean, sweats and t shirts. When you're a teacher Saturdays are sacred and it's nice to not dress up. Being in a class room dressed like you're going to court and watching your students roam in jeans and t-shirts make you appreciate the down time.
We graded papers for a few hours and then I finally got up the nerve to ask him.
"So what did you think of Jasper. I barely got to say a word to him at all last night."
And I'm sure that's exactly how you wanted it to be.
"I like him although it sucks what happened to him."
I furrowed my brow.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, with Charlotte? Yeah that sucks. Stories like that make me thank my damn stars that I have you."
I swallowed and thought hard about the name. Jasper had never mentioned a Charlotte before. I rolled the name around in my head and was relieved that I felt no jealousy whatsoever.
"What happened between them?"
Edward looked at me then with something close to curiosity. Then he set down the papers he had and leaned back on the couch.
"Apparently he fell in love with Charlotte back in Texas and they'd been friends for years before that. They were gonna go to school together and get married. Then she ran off with his best friend Peter and I think ever since then he's been really messed up when it came to women. He kept mentioning how lucky I was to have you."
He kissed me sweetly and then stood up and wandered into the kitchen. I sat processing the information. It seemed like a huge thing to tell Edward the first time he met him and not tell me after months of us talking. Suddenly I felt angry that he had kept something like that from me.
"You want some coffee?"
I nodded and then answered Edward out loud. I heard him putter in the kitchen for a few moments before the smell of coffee wafted out to me.
Weeks dragged and the wedding came closer. I teased Edward about the date, asking if he wanted to change it and he would look hurt before smiling and shaking his head.
I never brought up Charlotte to Jasper because I really wanted him to tell me himself. After a while I figured it might have been easier for Jasper to tell Edward that story since he was another guy. Talking about it with me might have made him feel awkward and I gradually lost my anger toward him.
It was a rainy damp night when my secrets tumbled out. Ever since I started having the dreams I waiting for the day that Edward would figure them out. I was an avid sleep talker and I could just imagine the things I said nocturnally. The only thing that surprised me was how it came out.
It was a three day weekend, my favorite kind of weekend. I stopped by the coffee shop for a moment on the way home but saw no sign of Jasper so I ordered a coffee and hit up the supermarket. I bought finger foods because they were easier to snack on while grading papers or reading. Edward loved grapes so I grabbed a nice bag of red ones.
I had at least eight bags to bring in and the rain was beating so hard I had the wipers up to their fastest setting.
I grabbed all the bags up and jogged up the steps, careful not to fall and die on them. In the ten foot space between the car and the door I had managed to soak my shirt down. The outline of my white lace bra could be seen through the silky shirt I wore.
Oh well, Edward would like that when he saw it.
Grinning I slipped into the silent house. The tv was on but it was muted and the kitchen lights were on but no one was in it. I put away the groceries and stopped as I looked down at a pair of scuffed boots that were sitting by the sliding glass doors.
I closed the fridge, the rest of the food forgotten as I turned to look at the stairs.
Quietly I walked up to the bedroom but stopped when I saw the guest room door was ajar. A warm light flickered inside so I pushed the door open. Candles were lit around the room and on the bed were black sheets that I had never seen before. Edward was standing beside the window looking out into the rain as Jasper sat on the bed, a nervous, edgy look on his face.
"Whats going on?"
Jasper's eyes snapped to my face while Edward turned slower. He seemed to know I was in the house before Jasper did.
"I'd like to talk to her alone first Jasper."
My breath held and I looked between them. Jasper nodded and he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
There was a moment of silence between Edward and I, and just as I was going to ask him again what was going on he came to me and held me against his chest.
"When I marry you, you will belong to me and only me. You will be mine and no one else's ever again. I wasn't your first but I told you that I would be your last remember?"
I nodded and my heart picked up a fast staccato.
"For months I've heard you in your sleep Love. Months and I've finally put it all together. I…fuck I hate this. I hate it so fucking much but I want you to have it once before I make you mine. One time and never again. Do you understand?"
I didn't really understand what was going on. I did know it had to do with my dreams but as for how he was going to fulfill them was another thing. But I nodded anyway because Edward's eyes have a way of making me say yes when I have no idea what the question is.
"Jasper…he's here because you remind him of someone and because we've talked extensively about this for weeks. Ever since you introduced us I had a feeling that something else was going on-"
"Edward I don't feel that way about Jasper. He's a good friend but I can't feel that way about anyone but you. I just…can't."
He nodded and soothed me with his hands and arms. His firm chest against my cheek as I gripped onto him.
"I know baby. That day I told you about Charlotte…you're face told me everything I needed to know. You were upset but I could see it was because you didn't know. And for every time you call his name out in your sleep you call mine out twice. You search for me and I know. I know they're just dreams but after this…after this Bella never again."
"What do you mean? After what?"
He took a deep ragged breath and his arms tightened around me.
"I want to give you everything Bella and tonight I'm going to give you you're fantasy. Jasper is here and I've spoken with him about it…he's agreed to this one time."
I choked. My chest expanded and I pressed my flaming cheeks into his neck.
"Oh, Edward. I don't need that. I don't-"
"If you don't want to because you don't want to then fine but this is only time I will be okay with this happening."
I pulled away from him and sat down. My legs feeling heavy and my head began to hurt.
"Edward…I don't know. I mean, yes it's a fantasy and yes I've wanted to try this but… I love you; only you. The thought of actually having another man… I mean. It feels so wrong."
Edward took a shuddering breath and sat beside me.
"Tell me exactly how your dreams are."
I licked my lips and blushed to my roots. My hands twisted together as I stared at my lap.
"Its...It starts with just you and me and then…another man comes and he starts touching me too. I just…it feels…I like the thought of you being there and I think it's because you're so protective and careful with me. The thought of you…inside me and another man…inside me at the same time…Oh God Edward this is so embarrassing."
Edward was stone still. His face ashen.
"At the same time?"
I looked at him and furrowed my brow. Oh. Oh!
"Edward…you realize that I don't want to have sex with another man…alone…right?"
He looked at me then, with heat and intensity.
"It's just that…knowing that you're there, that I belong to you and that you're allowing another man to…it…I don't know."
And I realized I had said the right thing. I had explained it to him the right way because the fire in his green eyes was bright and heated.
"You are mine. And I am… allowing him to be here."
I swallowed as Edward stood and went to get Jasper. I was assuming they would be a minute. Jasper was probably going to have a coronary when Edward told him what I really wanted. It's not like I wanted them to have sex with each other for Christ's sake. A shiver worked its way up my spine and I jumped up and into the bathroom. I'd just spent almost ten hours teaching and on my feet. I was disgusting. I hopped in the shower and was clean and out in record time. I fiddled with the blow drier and had my hair mostly dry in a few minutes before putting on a clean set of pale green panties and a matching bra. I never wore matching sets and I felt sexier, more confident in them. I covered myself in Edward's black fluffy bathrobe. I forewent makeup and just put on some clear lip-gloss before spraying some perfume on and rolling on some deodorant. Thank God I'd shaved this morning.
When I opened the door to the bathroom, Jasper was again perched on the edge of the bed this time his face was serenely calm. Edward was sitting in the loveseat by the window and I licked my lips when I took in his appearance. Unlike before I had a chance to see the tree's for the forest now and Edward looked feral. Ripped jeans that hung on his frame, a black form fitting t-shirt, bare feet and he'd even taken his watch off.
Jasper was wearing the cargo pants again and his shirt was a soft blue waffle weave. His hair was damp and his socks looked wet.
Edward stood and came to me his hands gripping my waist and his mouth covering my own.
I was feeling nervous now. I had no idea how this would work. In my dreams we were already in the bed, already wet and moving together. I had no idea how it all started. Shivering from nerves I pressed closer to Edward seeking his comfort.
Edward took control, like I knew he would and I felt myself sigh and relax against him.
"Jasper why don't you sit on the loveseat and relax while Bella gets comfortable?"
Slowly Jasper stood and walked to the loveseat. He reclined in it; his legs spread slightly, his hands limply resting against his thighs.
Edward sat in his spot on the edge of the bed and pulled me to stand between his thighs. He kissed me, his hands gripping my face as he opened my mouth with his tongue. I moaned and pressed against him, our kiss becoming frantic. I tried to block out Jasper's presence for the moment, wanting to submerge myself in Edward. I knew it was the only way I'd become aroused.
Edward's hands slipped down to my hips and then to my thighs and he pulled forward on them slightly, signaling that he wanted me to straddle him. I did and felt the cool air rush beneath the robe and then groaned when the rough denim covering Edward's crotch rubbed against the thin panties I wore. He pressed hot lips to my throat, licking and biting until the skin was tender and my thighs were damp. His hands rubbed my back, my sides, until he reached my breasts and he was rough, dominating, and completely taking over my senses. His hands pressed into my skin and his mouth slanted over my mouth. He anchored me to his lips, a hand gripping my neck, a reassuring pressure that didn't hurt me.
I could almost forget that Jasper was even in the room. Almost. I heard him shifting around on the loveseat the sound of his cargo pants shifting against the taunt fabric of the seats. I had to physically stop myself from looking in his direction. My hands gripped Edward's face, sliding into his hair and kissing him back fiercely. Suddenly, fear gripped me. I couldn't do this, I couldn't go through with it. In my dreams I was safe, guarded and never in danger of being hurt but now it was real and I was about to be bared completely to a person I really didn't know that well.
As if he could sense my trepidation Edward flipped me over and pushed me up the bed until I rested against the pillows. The bed dipped and Jasper joined us. He had shed his cargo pants and was sliding closer to me. The boxers he wore were green and white striped. I stared at them doing my best to ignore the tent they were making. The thought of another man being naked in front of me raced through my mind and my heart kicked into overdrive. Doubt began to creep into my head as I realized what was really about to happen.
It happened in a blur. Hands were on my skin, mouth licked and sucked. I felt Edward's hand on the back of my head, gentle and comforting as I licked and sucked at Jasper.
I was pulled and pushed, moved and positioned as they grasped and touched me…everywhere.
I was lost in the sensations and soon I didn't know who was where until the moans and gasps were replaced with silence and I was snapped out of the feel and into reality. My legs were drapped around Jaspers hips, his thick length tapping against my stomach. His bright eyes were hooded as his hands slid from my hips to the sides of my breasts.
Edward's hands were on my back moving down to my ass as I arched into him. I felt him spread me open and rub me there. I groaned and dropped my head to Jasper's shoulder. A shifting happened and I glanced slowly to my right where Edward was taking a plastic bottle from Jasper's hands. The oil was cool on my flesh but soon became hot as Edward rubbed and kneaded it into me. First a finger, then another and I hissed as I felt myself stretch to accommodate him. It was painful, but before I could ask him to stop, to back out, Jaspers hands reached down and grasped his length and began slowly sinking into me. I moaned and slid down onto him, his fingers rubbing at my clit it lazy circles. Edward shifted forward and I felt his cock tap at my ass before settling between cheeks. He rubbed himself slowly back and forth until I was gasping from excitement. Slowly, so slowly he pressed into me tiny movements, back and forth. It burned and I clenched my eyes shut but the pain faded until the next tiny thrust and the further he pressed into me, the harder Jasper rubbed my clit, the faster the strokes, the deeper he went into my pussy. I sucked in a deep breath and Edward pushed completely inside. It was overwhelming. I felt constricted and compressed. I felt like I was in a box with no air. And when they started to move I felt completed. Edwards's hands were gripping my hips his low grunts urging my own body on. Jasper's moans floated into my ears as I arched and bounced. A rhythm was made and perfected. In and out, out and in, they moved in a synchronicity that only my body could understand.
I was getting close. So close. I reached a hand back and Edward grasped it immediately. He knew.
Leaning down he whispered into my ear.
"So close. I feel you clenching. God, Bella I can feel you clenching around me. Come on love, come for us."
I was so lost. I was un-tethered, unbound. The pleasure was excruciating.
My mouth dropped open but no sound came out, my back arched and my nails dug into Jasper's biceps but still nothing could stop the wave after wave of intense pleasure surging through my body. My stomach turned to lava, my eyes were shut and stars exploded. I felt myself clenching, I could feel every spasm, every jerk, and every quiver. My legs shook and Edward grunted his fingers biting into my hips as he came. Jasper's gasp and choked moan prolonged the feeling.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." Edward whispered as he stilled and slowly began to pull out of me. There was a tangle of limbs and arms as we three lay there, relaxed and stunned. I slid my hand down and entwined my fingers with Edwards.
The exhaustion of the day set in and it was only a few more minutes before I was drifting off.
I was vaguely aware of Jasper rolling out of the bed and gathering his clothing as Edward pulled me close to him and drifted off with me.
That night was dreamless.