I don't know why, but I was inspired to write a story starring Vanitas. Yes, it will have Sora, Riku, Cloud, Sephiroth, Kairi, Ven, Terra, Aqua, and everyone else in there, but Vanitas is in the spotlight! So it'll be my second villain-centric story...I think.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Klondike Bars, or Geico.
Vanitas scrutinized his audience with much intensity. "Does switching to Geico really save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance?"
He narrowed his eyes to knowing slits. "Does an obsese Sephiroth make a poor arch enemy?"
Cloud drew First Tsurugi and darted forward heatedly. "Sephiroth!" he shouted, right before halting his steps in astonishment.
"Cloud?" Sephiroth tried to say, but all that came out of his mouth was a cry of "CLMMPH?" as donut crumbs plummeted off his triple chin and onto his protruding belly. Sephiroth was a mess. His hair was matted where he had spilled sea-salt ice cream and his leather "bondage gear" garments were stretched to the limit and even ripped. Even his rolls had rolls!
He swallowed thickly. "Prepare...to suffer...Oh, I would certainly kill you for a Klondike Bar at the moment."
"Oh, shut up!" Cloud rushed Sephiroth. Meanwhile, the other reached a stubby, chubby arm back to reach for Masamune, only to come up short as Masamune was out of his reach. "And I didn't even finish my do-"
SLASH! Cloud sliced through Sephiroth...and nothing happened.
Sephiroth tried to eye the cut with distaste, but he couldn't see around his bulging gut. "Oh, bother. I should probably diet."
Cloud glared on.
Ven smiled at the camera cheekily as he said, "Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more!"