To anyone still reading this,

I am so sorry it took so long to update, but I got one of those "life" things everyone's always on about and that got a little bit in the way. However, the university year is over so you'll be stuck with me for another three months. Aren't you lucky?

Anyway, here's to hoping I can still write this, anyway. I'm just going to give this next chapter a try and see if all goes well.

Chapter 4: Halloween Fundraising

6th October


The phone's ringing.


Word of the fire apparently got back to my mother, causing her to phone me. Thankfully I think I've just about managed to convince her that no, no one died, no, I don't want her to come and get me and yes, my old stab vest still fits. When I asked her how everything was she immediately explained that everything is fine but Aunt Doris has piles again, followed by several vivid descriptions. I'm never going to be able to eat grapes again.

7th October


I was awakened this morning by Hurricane Karen bouncing up and down on my bed babbling incoherently:

"Omigodomiigomigodalowininthreewikswihaphtogetcost u mesNOW!"

Which roughly translates into:

"I have woken you in this manner due to the revelation that Halloween is only three weeks away; consequently, we really ought to start thinking about costumes."

Having dragged me out of bed and slammed my glasses onto my face for me, Karen then threw a dog-eared notebook into my hands. Being the terrible catch that I am, the notebook missed my hands and landed on my feet which quickly woke me up and caused me to yell a very rude word I'd overheard from Bo.

"Gloria!" my friend screeched. "You can't say that word!"
"Come on, we need to pick our costumes. Look, these are my ideas."

Having perused the notebook I noticed that Karen's designs were... decidedly Karen-esque. For example:

Beam Cola Fairy
Mrs. Peabody in Zombie Form
Hulk Edna(which is basically the above with green face paint)
Beatrix the mad fairy meerkat princess scientist
Soviet Super-vet cheerleader
Crapula Maxima Fortisima complete with hinged mouth and stink bomb "pollen"

"Room mate privilege means you get first pick," Karen grinned with big, blue eyes. "What do you want to be?"
"Karen? I don't mean to be rude, but- "
"I designed them all myself."
"Oh... Well, that's-"
"I've even sewn a few."
"That's very good, but-"
"Took me twelve weeks."
"This is literally the first time I've left my room since July- I even swapped water for Beam Cola because who needs sleep anyway and now I can hear bubbles."

I chose the zombie.

7th October


Just been having dinner at our usual table to discuss how to raise funds for Karen's halloween "spectacular", having each brought our piggy banks along. I have to admit I'm a little excited to see our grand total savings wise.


Our grand savings consist of two dollar, fourty-three cents, three bottle tops and a cookie.


Sheldon has just eaten the cookie. Our savings are dwindling fast. Then again, I suppose it's safer than Edna's cinammon and ketchup cookies. Having said that, Karen has apparently got some good ideas for raising our funds, which we will be discussing after photography.

Oh dear.


Karen's Fundraising Ideas

Dog walking
Babysitting for Edna
Brewing our own Beam Cola
Charging older students for errands and alibis

Realising where this was going, I immediately volunteered for dog-walking. Hopefully, that's me safe.

9th October


Karen has allocated the others their jobs and my pleas worked. I will be dog-walking, which I had assumed would be the safest job. Until Pedro opened his big, elocution-attempting mouth.

"That's ideal, really. I was talking to Chad the other day, and apparently he needs a dog walker for Chester."
"You don't mean-"
"He says he paid the old one five dollars a time, but the person who was doing it quit after he bit her again. I'll let him know I've found someone."

Lord, I know I'm not a Christian, but if you could make me ill with something so that I don't have to walk that hell-hound I'll... All right, I haven't got that far, but it'll be something very good.