Jenny is complicated. She's not the pretty little Molly Ringwald-esque character she used to be, so she tries for other imitations. She fails at being Blair early on, fails at being Serena and loses Nate, tries and fails to be Blair again and uses Chuck so she can pretend that she succeeded, even for a short time. She's dark, certainly, but pitiable; this vignette is quite obscure, but it's how I imagine she sees herself by the end of the season three finale.
Enjoy.


I Change Shape

She knows she's a cannibal, and worse: that she's eating herself alive. She knows he doesn't want her, doesn't pull his punches for her; he doesn't need to speak for her to know that he's not here in his head, that's he's wishing for the girl with the cunning brown eyes. She has a noose around her neck and her eyes shut, because this is not the way it's supposed to be. This is supposed to be the start of something, not the end, but when the hunting ends he can't be bothered to be without her (except he can, because he'll fall on his own bayonet for the other her).

Where can she go but unto the city, to the place where her entire life resides, into the black where she can't look at him?

She doesn't know how she ends up trying to ask God why it is that she's such a cannibal, doesn't think or know that this is the done thing to do. She eats her own heart, outside to in, but it's her own fault. Maybe, somewhere deep down, she wanted to eat flesh other than her own - to give the cunning girl something to chew on, to have mastery over the cunning girl's soldier, to hold onto the hope that love was the same as love. She knows it can't be true if there's a trapdoor beneath her feet, a stool ready to be kicked away. Who will catch her legs and halt her descent? Who will give her back what she's lost?

Who would feed a cannibal?

She watched the lights across the water, but nothing is worth it. It's not worth trying to find strength through the pain of being consumed. It's not worth squaring up to the princess, falling hard for the utilitarian, stepping between the cunning girl and the soldier like a final wall of sandbags. It's not worth losing her teeth to a real person, not a cannibal (when she needed a cannibal, because only cannibals can love cannibals).

She wants her teeth back.

She wants to undo what she did.

She wants to pull the bayonet out of his chest and begin again. She wants to put the smile back in her brown eyes, the brown eyes back in her face. She wants to be the siren, to join the beloved quartet, to trust in Abel (because she's a cannibal, so of course she must be Cain) to guide her through, to know her own name again.

But the soldier is impaled, and the cunning girl is blind.

The cannibal is hanged for treason, for treachery, for flesh-eating; she goes to Hell and back and can't find it in herself to be redeemed.

She's a wrecker, and it makes her want to sing.


Confused yet?
Jenny = the Cannibal.
Blair = the Cunning Girl.
Chuck = the Soldier.
Serena = the Princess.
Nate = the Utilitarian.
Dan = Abel.