A/N: this was written as an affectionate tribute to Hercule Poirot; at the request of Hades Lord of the Dead and posted with the encouragement of Stutley Constable. I am very fond of Agatha Christie's work and hope this will be read in the spirit in which it was intended.

Poirot and friends belong to Agatha Christie, the other works and characters mentioned are not mine either.

Feedback is, as always, greatly appreciated:)


The Mysterious Charms of a Belgian Detective.


Most girls dream of meeting someone

Tall and dark and handsome,

To sweep them off their feet

With charm and effortless panache.

But you appear to dream of someone

Small and neat and Belgian,

With a knack of solving murders

And a rather fine moustache.

~O~

Most girls find their hero

In the books of J K Rowling,

Or the realms of Middle Earth,

Or in the Twilight films or Glee.

But you have found your hero

In the novels of Ms Christie,

Next to Hastings and Miss Marple,

This seems slightly strange to me.

~o~

Rugged, tall and dashing,

Or meticulous and balding?

A man of fearless action,

Or well-dressed and quite precise?

You clearly don' t want rescuing

From orcs or sparkly vampires,

But think country homes and cruises

Full of corpses would be nice.

~o~

So, Aragorn, Jack Sparrow,

Twilight stars and Harry Potter

Needn't hang around because

You're not that type of girl.

You're occupied completely

With a little, bald detective,

Just hoping he will give

That fine moustache another twirl.

~o~