DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or Ryan Murphy. I am just an out-of-college daydreamer who sometimes gets into these writing funks and ends up tossing out a story after letting the idea sit in my brain for a few days!
Sometimes You Need More Than Courage
Characters: mostly Kurt and Blaine (w/ mentions of OCs, Warblers, and New Directions)
A/N: I decided to write this after having nothing but Klaine stuck in my mind for a week. I tried to go back and rewatch a lot of the scenes the two of them had together and then I started wondering about the mysterious Blaine and his past. That's when I thought of perhaps writing something about him (I'm pretty sure many others have done this as well; I haven't gotten around to reading many Klaine fics, so if this idea has been overdone, I apologize!). Anyways, Blaine's story will be a mix of stuff that I've seen a few of my own gay/lesbian friends go through. This story is dedicated to those friends. I hardly see or hear from any of them very much anymore, but I still think of them!
WARNING: Possible triggers (in an implied dream sequence)!
There was that voice again! Creeping up on him in the darkness, interrupting what was going to be an AMAZING dream.
Wait, was this a dream?
He wasn't just dreaming that he and some mysterious boy were kissing underneath the starlit sky; their bodies melded together as a cold breeze blew through their hair. This had to be real, not something his unconscious mind had thrown together for him. Everything felt real: the low whisper of his name from the boy's smooth lips, the hands grasping his shoulders firmly, the cool wind blowing in his face. It had to be real. It just had to be.
"Blaine. Can you hear me?"
The voice got a bit louder, but it still in whispering stage. The shadow he was currently curled up against moved his mouth slowly against Blaine's ear, "You need to wake up, Blaine. Wake up!"
"Blaine," the whisper grew even louder and more serious. "Get up!"
Suddenly the mystery boy's fingers curled into his shoulders, pressure bore down upon him and pain entered his body. It was enough to jerk him awake and his hazel eyes shot open quickly.
Immediately he realized that he was indeed dreaming and that the dream boy was just a figment of his imagination. The actual person standing over him, gripping his shoulders so roughly, was David. The older Warbler seemed distressed as he stood over Blaine, his eyes showing concern.
"You've gotta come to the back of the bus with me. There's something wrong."
Blaine blinked some of the sleep out of his eyes and rubbed his eyelids with his palms. "Why? What's going on?" He turned to look back up at David and noticed that the older boy had disappeared from where he had been previously standing. "David?"
He quickly stood up and clonked his head on the bus' air conditioning control panel. So that's where the cool winds came from… The inside of the charter bus itself was dark, with only the dim lights of the walkway lit up just in case of an emergency. Rubbing his sleepy eyes once more, Blaine scanned the back of the bus and finally spotted David. He was standing over one of the other seats; Wes was also there. One of the small reading lights located in the control panel was clicked on over that very seat and for some odd reason, Wes kept on leaning down and shaking something.
Blaine squeezed out of his seat and stumbled down the aisle towards Wes and David, instantly curious as to what they were doing. It wasn't until he got a few steps away from the seat they were hovering over that he remembered who was sitting in that seat earlier.
It was Kurt.
Picking up the pace, Blaine bumped into David and leaned down beside Wes to see what was going on. There, sitting curled up in the fetal position, was Kurt. He was sickly pale and sweaty and his usually pink lips were pursed together into a thin white line. His well kept coif was also damp with sweat and it stuck up into wet cowlicks. He looked distraught.
"What's wrong with him?" Blaine blurted out, his voice loud with concern.
Wes turned towards the younger boy and shook his head. "We don't know. David came back here to get some tissue to blow his nose and that's when he noticed Kurt like this. We think he's having a nightmare or something. He keeps on mumbling and crying out. We just can't wake him up though. We tried everything… well, except you. You can probably wake up him, I think. You guys are really close and-"
Wes didn't have a chance to finish what he was saying. Blaine had already pushed past him and knelt down into the seat next to Kurt. He brought one of his hands up towards Kurt's flushed cheek and brushed some of his sweaty hair away from his forehead.
"Kurt? Wake up. Kurt, please? Wake up for me. You're having a nightmare."
Kurt's long body curled more into the cushy seat and he whimpered. His head jerked from side to side and one of his feet kicked out, bumping into Blaine's knee. "Nuh-"
"What did he say?" Another one of the Warbler upperclassmen, Thad, popped up from behind David. He also looked concerned.
"Nuh-no," Kurt's breath was ragged. "Nuh-no."
Blaine reached down and grabbed Kurt's forearms. He squeezed them gently, all the while, his eyes stayed focused on Kurt's face, "Kurt? Can you hear me? Get up." I should've stayed back here with him. Why did I go up front and sit with Jeff? I knew he wasn't feeling well…
Earlier that evening, following some performances at a couple of nursing homes in Dayton, the Warblers boarded the charter bus back to Dalton Academy. Blaine had taken a seat with Kurt near the back and Kurt had mentioned that he was feeling rather exhausted, so he was going to close his eyes for a bit. Once Kurt had dozed off, Jeff called Blaine to come up to the front because he had something to show him. Blaine had cautiously moved out of his seat, careful not to wake the sleeping brunette that had been curled up next to him, and he left to see what in the world Jeff wanted.
In between that initial hour gap from leaving Kurt asleep in his seat and going up to the front of the bus to talk to Jeff, Blaine must've fallen asleep himself. Then Kurt started to have a nightmare and David, who had been sitting in the row across from him, noticed him as he got up to go to the bathroom. David, scared that something was wrong, in turn asked Wes to help him shake Kurt awake, but that didn't work, so they came to Blaine.
I should've came back to see if he was okay. I knew he wasn't feeling well…
Once again, Blaine brought his hands up to Kurt's damp face and cupped his cheeks, "Kurt! You're having a nightmare. Wake up." He spoke a little louder, "Kurt."
Slowly but surely, following hearing his name the second time, Kurt's light blue eyes slowly opened. He blinked a few times, trying to take everything in. Once most of his vision straightened up and everything focused, he noticed Blaine sitting across from him with Wes, David, and Thad standing overlooking him with curiousity. Plus, Blaine's warm hands were on his face and he was trembling.
"What happened?" Kurt asked quickly. His voice sounded small, so tired and weak.
"You were having a nightmare. Are you okay?" Wes leaned down over Blaine's shoulder and stared at the younger teen before him. "You had us all worried. You wouldn't get up."
Blaine's hands slowly moved up Kurt's face and he started to brush the wet strands back out of Kurt's eyes. He repeated Wes' question, "Are you okay?"
Kurt bit his lip for a second as his mind flashed with the memory of the nightmare he had just observed, "I… I don't know." In his dream, Karofsky had followed him to Dalton Academy, snuck inside, and had caught him in the stairwells. The hulking bully had him in a dark corner within seconds, slamming him into a wall as he began to tear at Kurt's Dalton uniform, angrily mumbling about the difficulty of the jacket's buttons. No matter how much struggling Kurt did against the much stronger jock, he couldn't get away. He screamed for Blaine, he screamed for anyone for that matter, and no one came. The last thing he remembered from the dream was one of Karofsky's large hands covering his mouth as the other started to snake into his pants. All he could get out of his mouth was, "No. No no no."
He's still shaking. Oh Kurt…
Blaine noticed his friend's eyes start to well up and he pulled the trembling boy into his chest, enveloping him in his arms. "Shhh," he comforted, whispering quietly into Kurt's hair. "I'm here now. Everything's gonna be okay."
Kurt whimpered a bit into Blaine's jacket, his hands balled up into Blaine's lapels. "I couldn't get away from him, Blaine," he cried softly. "I couldn't stop him."
Wes and David exchanged concerned looks, but said nothing. Thad watched closely as Blaine ran his hands up and down Kurt's back and into his hair.
"We're here if you need anything, Kurt." Wes leaned down, placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder, and gave the boy's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Then he turned to the other Warblers who hovered behind him and gave them a knowing look. "I think Blaine's got this, guys," he whispered before turning and climbing into his seat.
The others nodded and went back to their respective seats as well, leaving Kurt and Blaine curled up in their seat, consoling one another.
The bus came to a slow, creeping stop in the vast Dalton Academy parking lot. The usually crowded student parking area only had a few dozen cars scattered within it and from his view, Blaine could see Kurt's black SUV. He sighed, knowing that Kurt was supposed to drive home to Lima after they got back to Dalton, but based on how the fragile boy was still trembling in his arms, Blaine didn't think him driving home at the moment was such a good idea.
What should I do?
Blaine stayed lost in his thoughts while the rest of the Warblers stood up from their seats and stretched, tired from singing and dancing and from the almost two hour drive from Dayton. Blaine could see Wes squeezing past David to head up to the front of the bus. Before he walked completely past Blaine and Kurt, he peeked over Blaine's shoulder to see how Kurt was doing. Then he walked up to the front of the bus and grabbed the bus driver's microphone.
"Attention Warblers. Thank you for a great performance tonight. Both Wishing Well and the Windy Plains nursing homes' residents enjoyed the evening and I hope you all did too. Have a good evening and remember, the next Warbler practice is on Monday at five. Be there."
He then handed the mic back to the bus driver and started to go back to his seat. Before he could head away, David ran up to the front of the bus and grabbed the intercom mic back up. "If you guys don't mind, we're going to let Blaine and Kurt get off of the bus first, so could you guys just stand back until they exit, please? Thank you."
David then nodded to Blaine. The younger Warbler nodded and stood up slowly, helping Kurt to his feet. Kurt, still pallid and trembling, looked rather embarrassed at the fact that everyone was now staring at him. Blaine ignored the stares and took Kurt's shaking hand into his own, helping Kurt out of the seat. Slowly, he led him down the bus aisle to the open doors.
As they walked away from the bus and towards Kurt's car, Blaine let his fingertips rest on the small of Kurt's back. Neither one of them said a thing to the other; everything was quiet.
As the rest of the Warblers filed out of the bus, they came up to Kurt to see if he was alright. Upon noticing the distant look that adorned his usually cool features, most just placed a strong hand on his shoulder and offered a "Hope you feel better, Hummel" or a "Everything will be okay, man" as they walked by. When Wes, David, and Thad finally got off of the bus minutes later, they immediately flocked to Kurt and Blaine, curious to see what the plan was for their newest member.
"Are you going to drive home, Kurt?" David questioned quietly. Even he didn't think it was a good idea.
Kurt wordlessly shrugged, then crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the asphalt.
"I think I'll have him stay with me tonight," Blaine interrupted. "Then I'll drive him back to Lima or ride back with him. Whatever seems better."
"Are you sure?" Wes lifted an eyebrow. "Aren't your parents expecting you home, Kurt?" He watched as Kurt nodded his head, but still said nothing.
"If you think that him staying with you is for the best, Blaine, then I'm going to have to agree with you. If you change your mind or if he wants to go home later on and needs someone to ride with him, I can always follow you guys back with my car and you can ride home with me or something," David added thoughtfully.
Blaine nodded at his choirmates and turned his attentions back towards Kurt. "You are more than welcome to stay here with me tonight, Kurt. I can drive you back to Lima tomorrow if you don't care. I just don't think you driving home right now is a very good idea."
Kurt bit his lip and nodded, offering a simple, "Okay."
"Keep an eye on him, Blaine, ok?" Thad said as he clapped a hand on Wes' shoulder, "Give us a call if you guys change your minds or anything. We'll be in our room."
The three senior councilmen than bid their adieus and walked off together towards the Dalton dormitory building, leaving Kurt and Blaine standing in the deserted lot.
Both boys stood in front of Kurt's car for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do. It seemed like time was ticking away slowly for the two of them. Blaine hadn't said a word since Thad, David, and Wes left and Kurt hadn't really said anything since they got off of the bus. Finally, after a few minutes of standing out in the cold, Kurt spoke, "I should call my dad."
"Yes, he's probably worried." Blaine leaned up against the driver's side back door of Kurt's car and watched as his friend dialed up his family on his phone.
"Uhhhhh, Kurt? That you? Where ya at, dude? You were supposed to call us when you got close to Westerville. Is everything okay?" It was Finn.
"Yeah, everything's fine." He lied. "I just need to stay here tonight. There's umm… Warbler business tomorrow morning. I'll be home sometime late tomorrow morning, ok? Can you tell dad and Carole?"
Finn sighed, "I suppose so. Where are you staying?"
Kurt bit his lip and brought his free hand towards his face. It was clammy from his sweat from earlier. "I'm going to spend the night with Blaine."
Blaine looked up as soon as Kurt said that. That didn't sound right. God, I hope his family doesn't take that the wrong way and freak out or something. He looked back at Kurt and watched him pinch the bridge of his nose with two of his long, slender fingers.
"No, Finn, no it's not like that. I just need to stay here. I can't drive home. Just check on Pavarotti for me, okay? I'll be home tomorrow. Promise."
After a few seconds of going back and forth with Finn, Kurt muttered a quiet goodbye and tucked his phone back away in his pants pocket. "Perhaps me staying here is a bad idea…"
Blaine stared long and hard at Kurt before finally speaking, "I insist you stay here, Kurt. You're still shaking." He gestured at Kurt's hands, which were still slightly trembling. "If you want to go home, I'm riding with you. I think it would be for the best if someone stayed with you tonight." That didn't come out the way he wanted it to.
Kurt ran a hand through his mussed hair and sighed again. "I just don't want Finn to distort my words and tell my dad something that will make him mad." He looked down at the ground. "After that sex talk he tried to give me, I don't know if he'll necessarily trust me around other guys right now."
A small frown crept upon Blaine's face as he remembered trying to talk to Burt about giving Kurt 'the birds and the bees' talk. The frown morphed into a slight smile though when he remembered Kurt coming to school the very next day, flustered and adorable, exclaiming that his father gave him sex pamphlets.
"I'm sure your father will understand, Kurt. You guys have an amazing relationship." Blaine stared once more and added, "I would give anything to have that kind of relationship with my dad. Hell, even with both of my parents." Kurt looked up at him with this statement, but Blaine closed any further discussion immediately as he changed the topic.
"Listen, it's kind of chilly out here. Let's say you grab whatever you need out of your car and then we go to my dorm. If you need any clothes or anything, you can borrow some of mine. No problem."
Kurt shrugged and fumbled with his keys. Once he was able to pull them out of his pocket, he tried to steady his still quivering hands to unlock the door. On the fifth try of trying to get the keys into the lock, Blaine finally grabbed the key with a kind 'May I?' and unlocked the door for him.
Flustered and blushing, Kurt took his keys back and climbed into his car to grab his messenger bag. He had thrown it in there before the Warblers had boarded the bus to go to Dayton. There wasn't much in there: just some of his homework, an emergency toothbrush, some moisturizer, and a few other necessities. He didn't have any spare clothes though - something that he had stopped carrying with him upon his transfer to Dalton, so he supposed he had to borrow some of Blaine's clothes. At this thought, he blushed more ferociously.
"Find everything?" Blaine broke into Kurt's thoughts and the startled teen hopped out of his car.
"Yes," Kurt responded as he locked up his SUV. "Do I need my student ID or anything to get into the dorms?"
Blaine nodded, "Yep. They'll scan it and log you in. That's all. Then you can come back with me." He then held out his hand, "Well, come on then."
Kurt bit his lip, took a deep breath, and slid his hand into Blaine's, letting his friend lead him into the Dalton Academy dormitories.
"So this is my place."
Kurt stood in the doorway of Blaine's dorm room and nodded in approval. "It's nice. You have style. Usually I can't say that about most people's interior decorating skills."
"Why thank you." Blaine almost blushed, but was able to keep his composure. Turning around to face Kurt, he quipped, "You've calmed down quite a bit. Are you feeling a bit better?"
Kurt nodded and set his messenger bag down on Blaine's desk. He slowly began to walk around the room, glancing at the different pictures his crush had scattered about the place. He had spent almost every single day with Blaine since he had transferred to Dalton and yet it seemed like he was learning new stuff all the time about this mysterious boy he cared so much about. As he got close to the mini-fridge, one funny picture caught his eye. It was of Blaine, himself, and Mercedes after New Directions performed the Thriller mash-up at the football game. Mercedes was decked out in her zombie gear, looking fierce, and behind her were Blaine and Kurt, trying to do their best impressions of zombies. A smile flashed upon his face as he remembered the memory of them getting their picture taken and then Mercedes pulling him to the side, whispering while wagging her eyebrows, "Having fun with Dapper Dan?"
Blaine glanced over at Kurt and noticed him staring at a picture of the two of them and Mercedes. "That was a good time," he chirped coming up behind Kurt. "I really had fun with you at that game." Kurt blushed at this statement and walked away from the mini fridge.
"Perhaps we should change out of our uniforms. We've been in them since early this morning. I'm feeling stuffy."
Kurt nodded at Blaine's suggestion and watched as the dark haired boy walked towards his dresser and start searching through his clothes.
"Do you think you can wear these? I know I'm shorter than you, so they might be a little bit snug in some areas," He blushed held out a pair of midnight blue sweatpants. "The shirt should be okay though," he also held out a plain white undershirt. Kurt muttered his thanks and gladly took them, waiting until Blaine found himself something to wear before he asked where the bathroom was. Imagine his surprise when he realized that the closet door he thought he spotted was actually an ensuite private bathroom.
"I'm one of the lucky ones," Blaine smirked. "I actually got a room with a private bath. These things are very coveted here, especially for we gay men." He chuckled as Kurt threw open the door and commented on the color scheme of the bathroom.
After a couple of minutes in Blaine's private bathroom, Kurt emerged decked out in Blaine's pajamas. He looks cute, Blaine thought as he looked his friend up and down. "I'm glad they fit okay."
"Yeah, me too." Kurt yawned, stretching his lean body backwards in an attempt to crack his back. When he did this, he gave Blaine a wonderful view of his smooth abdomen and the other boy darted his eyes away, slightly embarrassed to have stared at Kurt's torso for so long. "I didn't realize how tired I was," Kurt yawned once more.
"You can sleep in my bed if you'd like. I can sleep on the floor." Kurt looked mortified at Blaine's suggestion and was about to protest, but Blaine stopped him. "Don't worry. I have a blow up mattress. I bought one after one-too many study sessions with some of the other guys. They were always falling asleep on my floor and I felt bad." He chuckled a bit and pulled the blow up bed box out of his armoire.
After getting the bed blown up and made, Blaine turned back to Kurt, who was sitting Indian style on his bed. "Ready for lights out?" Kurt sleepily nodded and leaned back against the wall, his fingers laced together and hands in his lap.
Blaine pulled the covers down on his makeshift bed and climbed in, then he turned towards Kurt. "You ok?" He stuttered, "Umm.. A-are you wanting to talk about your dream earlier? I'll be a good listener, I promise."
Kurt sighed and looked down at his hands, "I know you're a good listener, Blaine. You always are… but, I'm pretty sure you know what my nightmare was about. It was just like the last few nightmares I had that I told you about. Remember those?" Blaine nodded while Kurt continued, "I just don't want to have dreams like that anymore. They scare me… a lot."
"I know what you mean. It's hard dealing with stuff so severe and then having it still haunt you. I still have nightmares to this day about what-" Blaine trailed off.
He had an off look in his eyes that somewhat confused Kurt. His hazel eyes looked perplexed and somewhat sad and it sort of reminded Kurt of that forlorn, depressed look that his eyes had that day that they first met, when Blaine found out he was spying and when he had admitted that he himself had transferred to Dalton due to bullying. With his stomach churning, Kurt nervously crawled off of Blaine's bed and climbed onto the air mattress. "Blaine?"
Blaine snapped back into reality when he realized that Kurt was climbing into bed with him, "Hmm?"
"Hope you don't mind if I sit down here… but erm, I'd like to talk if you don't care."
Blaine flushed a bit, but still rolled over on the mattress so that there was enough room for Kurt to lay down as well. "I don't mind."
Kurt laid down on his back and crossed his hands behind his head. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed. "You know so many things about me, Blaine a-and I sort of feel like I don't know you… umm, that well, if you know what I mean." He gulped, "I know you were bullied like me and that's why you came to Dalton, but you've never told me what happened. What exactly was the catalyst to push you here."
Blaine rolled onto his back as well and bit his lower lip, "I just-"
"We're friends, aren't we?" The mattress moved slightly with Kurt's weight as he rolled onto his side. "You can tell me anything, you know that? You don't always have to be a listener."
The darker haired boy sighed and closed his eyes, "It's just hard to talk about." He opened his eyes again and let his sight drift to Kurt, who was now laying on his side facing him. Kurt's blue eyes stared lovingly at Blaine and it made him have to catch his breath. "If you really want to know, then I guess I could tell you."
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Kurt whispered. "If you just want to go to bed, we can just do that. Or if you want to talk, I'm here to listen." He reached out and placed his hand on Blaine's upper arm, giving a reassuring squeeze.
Blaine let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding when Kurt touched him, "I can try. I-... It all started when I was in the 8th grade-"
A/N: Chapter two will be coming up soon! I've found it rather easy to write when I'm playing *just* Warbler songs, lol. I hope to have the 2nd chapter of this up later this evening or sometime tomorrow. I also believe that the 2nd chapter will be the last one, so hurrah I guess!