Greetings, earthlings! This is the first chapter of *drumroll* Iris! Co-written by the amazing Kim, better known as XspriteyX :D She sent me a PM awhile back with an amazing story idea wondering if I would write it, and I couldn't have been happier to agree! Lots of the hilarious lines are by her, because we both write the chapters :-) Speaking of chapters, they may not be updated quite as frequently as most of my SPN ones have been because Kim and me go over them before posting, so there will probably be a couple days between updates.
There's lots of important info in this chapter, and my apologies if it's confusing, but don't worry, from here forwards it will be lots of humor and fluff! Lyrics are from Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, the fic's namesake. Kim and I have dubbed it Gabriel's song.
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now."
For Gabriel, formerly known as the Trickster, it was just another Tuesday.
Emphasis on was just another Tuesday. All was going just fine, his dignity had recovered from being locked in a warehouse by the Idiot Brothers, and he was well on his way to returning to his old methods and forgetting those two altogether. Life was good. That was before he felt It. Yes, It is capitalized for a reason. It was too awful to be considered lowercase.
First, he needed to explain the complex inner workings of angel reproduction. Hey, that was more syllables than he'd used all week! He was far from unintelligent (it takes smarts to impersonate a Pagan God, thank you very much!) but he usually wasn't much one for the fancy scientific terms. The fact he was even using them was a bad sign in and of itself.
Newsflash: Angels can get pregnant. All angels, meaning yes, so can male angels. But unlike with humans, it was a very complex and difficult procedure. Well…not sex, it worked the same way, but how mates found each other was slightly confusing. First of all, there are two different breeds of angels. Ones like him and Cas, the normal archangels and angels, and then there were the parental angels. Parental angels were the only angels that could get other angels - ones like Gabriel, for example - pregnant.
Why would any angels need to be impregnated when they can live forever, you ask? Well, it's a pretty funny story. Turns out God isn't all that different from human dads. After waiting a few centuries for Michael to put his all-mighty-archangel-career on hold, which he still hasn't, Daddy Dearest got impatient because yes, the Big Guy upstairs, the Creator Of All, wants hundreds of grandkids to spoil. So along came the parental angels.
Parental angels could feel when their Mate was nearby, and so could the Mate. The Mate would be referred to as the "mother" angel because they would be the pregnant one, and the parental angel would be the "father." Parental angels are extremely territorial. Once they feel their Mate nearby and stake a claim to them, they become fiercely protective.
If the Mate was male, then their grace created a tightly woven area inside their body for the fledgling to grow and like with humans, it would expand as the child grew larger. Birth was painful but not impossible.
So far so good, right? Sounds like the angelic version of the Brady Bunch, huh? Well, that was what Gabriel thought, but that was before he started going into the angelic version of heat. Angels only went into heat if they were destined to be the Mate of a parental angel. And some of the parental angels were complete dicks, bossing around and controlling their Mates, and they had no choice to obey because they were victim to the "father" angel's word once they were mated.
He knew he was in heat because he was getting all the symptoms. Loneliness, pining for a family, pining for love…yep, he was definitely in heat. There was no denying it. His simple little life had just got thrown into utter chaos.
Gabriel was getting a headache just from going over it in his head. To sum it all up in a nutshell (or a Snicker's Bar, if he had his way about it), he was in heat, and if a parental angel realized that and showed up to claim his Mate - Gabriel was going to end up screwed in more than just one way. He would be pretty much forced into carrying the parental angel's fledgling, he may not even love said parental angel, and there was no way to avoid it.
Well…maybe there was one way.
The parental angel couldn't claim his Mate if his Mate was already mated….Eureka! A light bulb flipped on in Gabriel's mind. He didn't have to do this if he could only find someone willing to get him knocked up! Parental angels were the only angels that could get another angel pregnant, but as long as the angel was in heat, a human could get the angel pregnant. So all Gabriel needed was a willing human.
A regular human wouldn't do. How could he possibly explain why he needed his or her help? He mentally vetoed that idea. Hmm…a hunter! Dean? Well, he was definitely good looking, but if Cas went into heat he would probably rip Gabriel to shreds for taking his hunter. Another idea bites the dust. Okay, plan B. Sam? He was gorgeous, tall, and compassionate enough to be convinced. And Gabriel had always had a little bit of a thing for the younger Winchester anyways. The tricky part was going to be getting him to agree, given that everything that had happened at Mystery Spot and then he'd stuck 'em in TV Land.
It wasn't going to be easy…but it was his only option.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."