Before I met you, well, before we found each other... I was a right bastard. I suppose I still can be at times, but not to you- not intentionally. It is part of my being, to be the most vindictive inconsiderate arsehole you've ever met. I was unbelievably miserable, inside and out, towards everybody who had the displeasure of crossing paths with me. I was intimidating, unapproachable and anti-social. I still can be- I loathe social events and do everything in my power to avoid them, that is unless it is Dumbledore who is behind them- then I have absolutely no means of escape. I can take the most solid, strongest, most dangerous of men and reduce them to tears. I am heartless, and survive on the turmoil of others.
But I've changed- only to you. Nobody else on this planet will ever have the pleasure of my presence the same way. I've never felt as strongly for someone as I do you. You are the single most beautiful creature I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes upon, and I find it difficult to believe that you are actually mine. The slight, unconscious things you do capture me, when you bite your lip softly of circle your mouth with the tip of your quill. I can't help but stare at you in utter awe. And when you catch me looking, I find myself drawn into your doe eyes, the deep hazel colour contrasting with the dull blackness of my own. This truly is a story of beauty and the beast; you, and your radiant beauty, falling for me, the greasy dungeon dweller. Maybe one day I can change completely, but I'm afraid I'll always look the same...unless you transfigure me. I'm glad to have you, who loves me for who and what I am; Severus Tobias Snape, member of the Order of the Phoenix, Death Eater...traitor...
You do not care. I am yours.
I'm surprised you even want to be near me, after all I've done. Since you set foot in this school I've treated you like complete and utter shit. I'm sorry, I had to. I didn't always mean to. I never fully noticed you until you returned for your fifth year, but I have ALWAYS admired your personality. You had grown, in more ways than one. Your hair was sleek and smooth, your legs slender and your small hands graceful when making potions. I could sense pride in the way you held yourself around others; chin up and shoulders back as you shrugged off callous remarks made by Malfoy and his followers, a defiant smirk on your face when they were irritated by the fact that you had ignored them. You rose above them every time, aware of the damage they could do. I admire your bravery, not only for being with me, but for having the nerve to give Malfoy as good as you got. I admire how you can stand up for yourself, a quality you've always held against me, as well as others.
I know for a fact that you will be successful in whatever you chose to do. You are the most astounding witch I have ever met, after all, you won me over, didn't you? That must have taken some skill. The dreaded potions master has a soft spot for a Gryffindor. Who would have thought.
We don't see one another as often as we would like, but we will survive. Being apart only makes us stronger. Yes, it is difficult, and at times unbearable, but for now it is the little moments we seize that count. They keep us going- being able to snatch even a split second of time together. A kiss. A brush of the hand. A small caress. When you stand behind me and rub my shoulders before a lesson. I've never been so relaxed. It all adds up in the end. The secrecy makes it all more enticing. The rush of adrenaline I get when I have you on my lap or in my arms and knowing that at any moment someone could walk into my classroom and find you over my desk... The feel of you is thrilling enough.
Dumbledore knows about us. That is one of his best qualities- the ability to find out every detail of something that does not concern him in the slightest. Who can blame him- it was one moment of weakness on my behalf. Possibly due to the amount of Firewhisky I had consumed. Feel free to take some of the blame; I wouldn't have felt the need to escort you back to your rooms after Albus' bloody Christmas party and kiss you goodnight if you didn't look so beautiful. And you kissed me back, you are as much to blame. Though who can complain about such a precious thing? The first time our lips met were not as lovers, but as mere acquaintances- if not drunken acquaintances.
I still feel the softness of your lips, I trace my finger tips over them when we're together. It wasn't meant to be so slow the first time. I was meant to be a peck on the cheek- a polite gesture as I was bidding you goodnight. But you had to turn around slightly. And my lips had to mistakenly land upon yours. And we simply had to linger for a few seconds in shock. And Albus HAD to be watching unnoticed on the moving stairs as he returned from escorting Minerva to her quarters.
The thing is, I may not show it, but I am truly happy with you. I am finally at rest- being with the woman I want to have children with, and to spend the rest of my life with, however long that may be. But for now we have to wait, you finish school soon. Its not far away.
I know you feel the same way, and you are a lot more mature than others your age, but I feel sometimes I might hold you back from enjoying yourself, letting you have fun. When I mention it you never fail to protest wildly, telling me age is but a number. And it is. You are 19 years old- 18 if you didn't use the time turner in your third year. I want you to live life to its fullest, and I want to be there when you do. The nights we manage to steal together are breathtaking. We stay in my quarters, I read to you, we have a meal, then spend the rest of the night in each others arms. I was your first, and you were so grateful for it to be someone you trust, who will take care of you through thick and thin. I adore the sweet smell of your skin, and how it is soft under my touch. Every part of your body is picture perfect- that's why I like being on top. I feel every inch of your slight body under me. I get to study every curve and nuzzle your soft neck while you clutch my shoulders, pulling me closer to you with each thrust. I often have scratches on my back after you've had your way with me, but they just blend in with the rest.
I woke up with your arms around me, your head resting on my chest and our legs entwined. There is bright sunshine glowing through the enchanted windows and is dancing across your face. You stir, and roll off me, leaving a cold patch behind as you try to escape the light. I turn on my side and wrap my arms around you in turn to keep you warm and you are awake. Your small hand rests on top of mines. I kiss your neck and nibble your ears, earning an elbow to the ribs for disturbing you. Our bodies fit perfectly together.
"Mione." I mumble, still half asleep. She moaned slightly in reply, backing into my chest for closeness. I clear my throat.
"Whatever happens, whatever we do, I will love you until the day I die. No matter what."
She turns onto her back in my arms and looks into my sleepy eyes with her own. She strokes my cheek with her free hand.
"Funny that." She slurred. "I'll love you until the end of time." I smile. Yes, smile.
Then she falls asleep again.
I'm thinking, do I do one from Hermione's point of view? Please review :)